12/2/05: Have A Merry Milkbone! When we're young, we consider the family pet as another one of our brothers or sisters. We play ball with them, and though we ourselves may torture them, we'll kick the other neighborhood cats and dogs' asses if we catch them messing with ours. As we grow older, the relationship shifts and we almost consider our pets as our very own children. This is the only explanation I came come up with for why so many people buy cats and dogs Christmas presents year after year. I've been guilty of it. For the past few years, I haven't been able to resist the many fishnet Christmas stockings stuffed with cat treats and cat toys, wholly convinced that our fine felines -- the furry little dicks who'd sooner piss on my pillow than meow along to carols -- actually understand that they're getting some kind of "gift." It's time to face facts: Though companies who make pet-related goods indeed march forth with holiday-themed products year after year, these products are meant more to delight us pet owners -- not the actual pets. It's kind of like how there's pieces shaped like T-bone steaks in every bag of Kibbles 'n Bits. What, you thought you dog actually gave a shit? Anyway, you'll see the sprit of what I'm talking about in today's download -- an old Milkbone dog biscuit ad that features Duke the Dog sneaking down to his master's Christmas tree in the wee hours to shake his presents and try to guess what's inside. This is not what we in the business would call a high concept ad, but Christ, if there's a sight more rewind-and-repeatable than Duke grabbing a Christmas present and shaking it doggystyle, where the fuck have I been? Click here to download this commercial! (.WMV, 5 MB) ....close this window!