While thumbing through a toy circular a few weeks ago, I was shocked to find a picture of Jamie Lee Curtis mixed in with a giant pile of Milton Bradley board games. I had no clue why she was there, and since there was no text support, I wasn't entirely sure if I had just made it up. Maybe it was just some woman that looked like Jamie Lee Curtis? But why? Why would there be any woman in the middle of a Milton Bradley advertisement if it wasn't Jamie Lee Curtis? My head exploded, I bought a new one, and here I am. Eventually, I saw the television commercials and realized that Milton Bradley had somehow obtained exclusive rights to Jamie Lee Curtis. She's spent the holiday season telling us that all anyone really wants for Christmas are board games, and to this uphill messaging, she's done a remarkable job. The commercials feature Jamie making various references to various classic board games while insisting that everything from Clue to Battleship can turn Christmas morning into the biggest party since opening night at Stroker Ace. Jamie is unabashed and unashamed in her role, and you can totally read a tall "fuck YOU" in her eyes right through the screen, obviously pointed at anyone who'd make any lame comments about how she sold out. If someone was willing to pay you a million bucks to say that you enjoy Scrabble, you'd grab four letters from the bag and spell out "OKAY." 12/3/05: Chrissymas Snow! Put over twenty years worth of sand back into the hourglass and you'd have this ad, which isn't quite as cool as Jamie Lee Curtis sinking battleships, but shares the generalities. It's Suzanne Somers, hot off of a big steaming pile of controversy after leaving Three's Company over a money dispute, doing her best to keep her bank account brag-worthy by starring in a Christmas-themed television commercial for Ace Hardware. I have no strong feelings on the ad either way, but they managed to hire who might have very well been the real Santa Claus to star alongside Chrissy. There is no way someone could look this much like Santa and not be Santa. Click here to download this commercial! (.WMV, 5 MB) ....close this window!