| 75 |
Master P |
The rapper
that nobody actually listens to. Looks like Flavor Flav's
bloated alcoholic brother. Please please please please go
away. |
| 74 |
George W. Bush |
Kissed
Oprah and he seems really nervous and twitchy. If not for
getting Colin Powell as Secretary of State, he'd be a complete
wash. "Lucky" to get President job just in time for
the next recession (Insert lame cocaine joke here). |
| 73 |
Diva Starz |
Who thought
these trashy ho dolls up for kids? What's next...Li'l Pimps? |
| 72 |
Tiger Woods |
Now makes
more money swinging a golf club once, than your entire family ever
will. Voted Sports Illustrated "Athlete of The Year"
despite not actually being an athlete. |
| 71 |
Chyna |
PLAYBOY
broke their longstanding rule of only featuring nude women in their
magazine when they let hermaphrodite WWF wrestling legend CHYNA
appear. Subscriptions among gay men increased dramatically. |
| 70 |
Anna Kournikova |
If Venus or
Serena Williams looked this hot, they'd be the most popular athletes
since Michael Jordan or Muhammad Ali. That pesky underwear
sure seems to crawl up that ass of hers a lot. |
| 69 |
Bagger Vance |
"I sho
gonna hope you golf betta suh!" and other Oscar calibre
dialogue are a sure bet to give Will Smith the Best Actor statue
this year! They should have called this one DRIVING RANGE MISS
DAISY. HAW! HAW! |
| 68 |
Krispy Kreme |
They ain't
KRISPY and they ain't CREAMY. These hot greasy loops o' batter
suck harder than...well, something that really sucks a lot. |
| 67 |
The Letter "E" |
E
this and E that....E NOUGH! |
| 66 |
John Rocker |
Though one
of the more successful products of incest in baseball history, his
stupidity is appalling beyond belief. Just one look in those
short bus eyes of his, and you know there's some chromosomes bent up
in there somewhere. |
| 65 |
Anne Heche |
Thankfully
sparing us video footage of lesbian sex with Ellen, her breakup and
subsequent desire to date men again made it seem as if she thought
lesbianism was just something that was fun and trendy. Who
does she think she is...Howard Stern? |
| 64 |
Little Mermaid 2 |
OK, in the
first one, Ariel is in the water and really wants to live on land,
but in the sequel, her daughter lives on the land and she really
wants to live in THE WATER! BRILLIANT! In part three,
she adopts a son who lives in the sewer. |
| 63 |
FHM |
This MAXIM
magazine rip-off sucks majorly. Though the
occasional Alyssa Milano picture ain't half bad. |
| 62 |
Kim Jong |
North
Korea's head honcho has embarassingly bad hair. He should do
the right thing and cut it, or kill himself (It's the law in North
Korea...if you don't believe me, go there and ask someone). |
| 61 |
Webcams |
Does anyone
really like to look at these consistently updated glaring
faces? I mean check out this clown on the left here...I
haven't seen someone look that morose since The Smiths broke
up. |
| 60 |
Helen Hunt |
Now in more
movies than Brian Dennehy. You'd think with all this money,
she'd get a scalp-lowering surgery at least. |
| 59 |
AOL IM |
The bane of
my existence. Every time I sign on I get at least 20 "How
are you" messages from complete strangers. I don't know
how to make it stop. (NOTE: Robert's
IM address is "LIQUORHEAD" -Matt) |
| 58 |
ESPN2 |
I don't
know if they're running out of sports to show on this channel, but I
swear to god I saw them showing a MAGIC THE GATHERING tournament on
this channel. |
| 57 |
Jenny Jones |
This
twisted witch gets the guests that Jerry Springer won't even
have. The collective IQ of her audience is about half of
Forrest Gump's. |
| 56 |
CYBERREBATE .com |
Seems like
a great idea at first. A site full of products with money back
rebates so you PAY NOTHING. Until you see that you have to
wait more than 3 months to get your money back, and cheap pieces of
crap like a carnival quality teddy bear require shelling out more
than $100 up front. |
| 55 |
CD Packaging |
Is is that
hard to invent a CD package that can be opened in less than an
hour? Jeez! |
| 54 |
The Million Mom March |
The only
thing this crazy scheme accomplished was that a million dads and
kids were stuck at home with nobody to cook dinner and wash the
dishes! |
| 53 |
Marmaduke |
The most
unfunny comic of them all. Charles Schultz dies, yet we're
still stuck with this crap, is proof enough that we live in Hell. |
| 52 |
Federal Express |
Bizarre
product placement in CAST AWAY with Tom Hanks. Yeah, I want to
send my stuff with that company that crashes their packages into the
ocean! I'm still waiting for that volleyball and ice skates my
father sent me for Christmas. |
| 51 |
The Emperor's New Groove |
Disney's
bold new era of shitty movies continues into the new millenium.
David Spade plays a talking llama who's buddies with John
Goodman. Wheee! I'm buying a thousand tickets! |
