The Tiger Shark

Sharks rule the roost as the most terrifying predators of the sea - and while modern media and the Jaws flicks give us the idea that the Great White is the most terrible of them all, there's a few sharks out there that are possibly even worse creatures to swim around with. Today, we take a look at one of those, a vicious, voracious, completely indiscriminate eater who'd bite off and swallow your torso even if you were wearing a knight's suit lined with vinegar: the tiger shark.

At an average of around 10' long, these fishies can grow in upwards of 20' or higher. While there's certainly bigger sharks, and arguably sharks with a lot more power, the thing that makes tigers so dangerous is that they simply don't care what they're eating. Everything is fair game. For you and me, this is especially dangerous. A lot of sharks will attack people if they're provoked or if they can't find their normal fare of dinner, but usually, it's a case of you being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or the shark thinking you're a different animal - one it usually eats. That's why surfers put themselves at risk in shark-infested waters...from down below, those floating boards look a lot like seals, which is one of the main foods of many different types of sharks.

But with tiger sharks, there's really no such thing as being in the wrong place. Tigers don't have a preferred dish - they'll catch and eat anything they can. Our only defense against them is that we're bigger than a lot of what they usually catch. Sharks aren't out to impress anyone, 'the hunt' doesn't make them proud - they just eat what they can and generally will catch what's the easiest for them. Because tigers aren't as large as some of the other sharks out there, if given a choice between tackling a 6' human or a sea turtle, they'll usually go after the turtle. But, as anyone who's studied sharks to any great length can tell you - there's no way to predict what they're gonna do. Unless the shark did a lot of heroin and all it's teeth fell out, not too many of them are actually 'safe' to be around.


These guys get their name from the tiger-like markings on their back - it's got nothing to do with a social comparison between themselves and actual tigers. These markings sometimes grow together with age to form stripes. Like most predatory sharks, tigers are (usually) solitary creatures, finding food and going about their lives on their own. The only times you're likely to see pairs is during mating. Mama Tigers give birth to live pups - the litters range between 10 babies to a staggering 80. Of course, the survival rate of most young fish isn't fantastic. Especially in the tiger shark's case - the newborns are 20-30 inches long, and are totally independent from the day they're born. Their parents don't stay around to teach them the ropes or to monitor what they watch on television. It's all up to them. Fortunately, they're born with a lot of built-in defenses and a big great heap of natural instinct.

One of the advantages tigers have over many other types of sharks is it's wedge-shaped head. Some sharks have a real tough time making sharp turns - not this one. On top of this, it's a fast swimmer: the upper tail-lobe enables the shark sudden bursts of speed.
I've been fascinated with sharks in general for as long as I can remember, and through reading various books and using a Watterson-endorsed Transmogrifier to transform myself into different sea creatures so I can better study their life habits, I've always found it interesting how most sharks have this one tragic flaw that prevents them from being perfect killing machines. Don't get me wrong - of the deadly sharks, not many have big time cons going against them. But there's usually something. The tiger shark doesn't seem to have that tragic flaw. It reacts well to different environments, it'll eat almost anything, and it's body is almost mechanic in it's attributes. If it looks at you and sees lunch, you just don't stand a chance.

Don't take their size the wrong way. Yeah, there's bigger sharks out there that would eat you. But I'd rather be devoured in one gulp than to have to sit there patiently while a tiger shark eats all my limbs before biting my head off. Call it a personal preference, but when it comes to sharks, I'd like my death to come as quickly as possible.


Tigers have some unusual methods of catching prey. While most just bite the hell out of you, tiger sharks often use their blunt snouts to beat the hell out of you first. Sometimes, they'll push prey down to the sea floor with their snout, crushing the animal's bones and shattering it's internal organs, leaving it a heaping mass of pitiful plunder before swallowing it alive and moving on to something more interesting, like a game of underwater charades. Making tiger sharks more dangerous to us is their naturally inquisitive nature. No shark lies in fear when food is clearly there for it - but many of them won't seek you out if they're not too hungry. Tiger sharks are fairly curious creatures, and once they realize that you're edible, they might bite off your leg just because A) it's there and B) they can.

Finally - one of the tiger's greatest attributes is it's ultra-keen sense of smell. It's incredible - two-thirds of their brain power is devoted to singling out and identifying different scents in the sea. Don't go anywhere near them with an open wound or a Twix bar. Electroreceptors (sounds like an Autobot) allow it to notice even the slightest movements in possible prey. In the dark sea, this is a big plus for tiger sharks. There's a lot of fish out there, but the shark will usually go after what's moving around. So of course, if you're a fish and you see this 14' monster roaming around, you try staying as still as possible. But even if you just scratch your ass for one second, that sum' bitch'll catch ya and eat ya before you have a chance to make sure nobody's watching you scratch the aforementioned ass. They're funny that way.

Fast Facts:
* Tigers swim at an average speed of 2.4 miles per hour. With tail-assisted bursts, they can boost their speed, but only for limited amounts of time.
* Tiger shark babies remain in their mom's stomach for nine full months before leaving her sexy slits and taking on the world alone, already with a fully developed set of teeth.
* Some of their usual prey: bony fish, sea turtles, sea birds, sea mammals, crabs, clams (esp. clams casino), and anything else with a pulse.
* Found in tropical waters worldwide but adapt to survive almost anywhere. Tiger sharks inhabit both the open sea and the coastlines.
* Nobody really knows how long they can live for, but it's estimated that they can live up to 40 years.
* They are second only to the Great White Shark in terms of people-killing. Going by those statistics, they're even more dangerous to come across in the open sea than hammerhead sharks, which attack in groups, and killer whales, which are far larger.


In an esteemed honor held for only the most holy of dignitaries, the tiger shark is the only seafaring predator to have it's own Micro Machines playset. It really floats! This floating sea-park adventure kid included a shark tank with opening sea gate, to impress upon kids that it's much safer to watch sharks from behind a steel gate of sheet of glass than in open waters. That's not all it impressed on kids though - through this playset, we also learn that a shark is roughly the size of a helicopter if we're doing this by scale. I guess batting .500 ain't so bad.

More Animalia to come, and certainly a few more sharks. And if you're lucky - a donkey. A donkey with a cause.

- Matt