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Clefairy introduces frogs to a six-armed duck.
Fiesta Duck:
Four guns...four arms. Convenient.
Clefairy: I GOT FROGS!
Fiesta Duck: Oh no...not you again.
Clefairy: This store was getting rid of these things three for a buck! I couldn't pass it up - check it out, they glow in the dark!
Fiesta Duck: Why would frogs glow in the dark? That doesn't make any sense. This doesn't even impress me on a novelty level. Besides, I found something better - four guns!
Clefairy: Guns aren't great. Frogs are great - here, lemme show you why.
Clefairy: I love fact sheets. Look at that! There's over 3,800 different kinds of frogs in the world. That's a lot of frogs!
Fiesta Duck: And not a single one of them glow. These toys are stupid.
Clefairy: Whoa, the sound of a chorus frog can be imitated by stroking the teeth of a pocket comb!
Fiesta Duck: Sounds like they're really reaching for 'facts' if you ask me.
Clefairy: Just because you're a four-armed duck with a drug problem doesn't mean you have to be so negative.
Fiesta Duck: You're right. When you interrupted me with these stupid frog toys, I should've started believing in God right then and there. Thousand pardons, Clefairy.
Fiesta Duck: So now what?
Clefairy: It's time to test their glowing ability!
Fiesta Duck: Thrilling. Seriously. I'll get the lights.
Clefairy: Amazing!
Fiesta Duck: Hands off my ass.
Clefairy: Look at these things glow! They're like natural nitelites!
Fiesta Duck: Yeah, I'd say you get a good, oh, thirteen seconds of semi-illumination!
Clefairy: At least! Okay, turn the lights on. I just saw Jacob's Ladder and I'm scared of the dark.
Clefairy: AHHHH! LIGHTS OFF! LIGHTS OFF!
Clefairy: What was that?!
Fiesta Duck: A robot with a really big eye.
Clefairy: It might've been a demon!
Fiesta Duck: So? I've got guns.
Clefairy: Point taken - turn the lights back on.
Fiesta Duck: SHUT THE FUCKING LIGHTS!
Clefairy: What are you so scared of? That was just Jesus.
Fiesta Duck: No it wasn't, that's the guy who runs Ain't It Cool! He must've lost weight! I hate that guy - he trashes all my favorite movies!
Clefairy: Everyone's entitled to their opinion, Fiesta.
Fiesta Duck: Fine, I'll turn on the lights then.
Fiesta Duck: Well would ya look at that! Hollow! Stupid cheapass toymakers.
Clefairy: Come on, they were 33 cents. They probably cost more than that to make.
Fiesta Duck: Listen Clefairy, don't want to alarm you or anything, but I've completely lost interest in this. Can you wrap it up with whatever comedic climax you've got cooking?
Clefairy: We don't need no comedic climaxes...
Clefairy: ...this is just a Quickies post!
Fiesta Duck: Bonus! Early night!
Clefairy: Let's go drink pig's blood and tarnish cars!
Fiesta Duck: I love these Quickies!
- Matt
matt@x-entertainment.com
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