Though Star Wars took a major hit on the meters after two consecutively disappointing prequels, it's still my favorite bit of geek lore. I grew up with it, ate slept and drank it, and try as I might, I still can't go through a full month without imitating Jabba's laugh or putting on a shower cap to pretend I'm that bald cyborg who gets funky in Cloud City whenever Lando pushes the right buttons. Films aside, I've always considered Star Wars as having the most fascinating, in-depth marketing and mass-merchandising blitz of all time. You don't have to be a toy collector or a guy who likes making lightsaber gestures while holding a pool stick to appreciate this amazing forage in capitalism. Star Wars was science fiction - but it made money in a very American way.
Steering this monster was Kenner's line of 4" action figures, a collection that numbered over a hundred by the time the franchise's initial fizzpop ran dry. I likely spent 90% of my childhood playing with these toys, with the remaining 10% going to more necessary evils like pissing and learning the times tables. And boy, did Kenner ever cater to it's fans. Okay, maybe I'm overstating things - it's not so much that Kenner wanted to make everyone happy, but rather that toy companies hadn't yet realized how little they actually needed to do to make zillions of dollars. People who bought the toys were treated to all sorts of special offers, whether they be coupons, free mailaway offers, or a chance to get a folded 8" poster once you collected eighty-five proofs of purchase. In an already awesome line of toys, these bonus offers were a great cake-topper. They're also the focal point of this article - let's take a look at some of Kenner's best mailaway offers throughout their Star Wars boom years. Let's have fun and rock the Casbah.
Our first exhibit is the so-called Early Bird Kit, an offer that predates the release of the line in toy stores. It was 1977, the Christmas season, and Star Wars was hot - very hot. Though the toys weren't quite ready to hit store shelves, there was no way Kenner was going to miss out on the holiday sales. To beat the clock, Kenner distributed forms which allowed people to preorder the figures. No, they didn't arrive before Christmas. But they still got there way before the figures were released nationally, and the set also included some other little items that remain some of the rarest, most expensive collectibles out there today. This wasn't a direct mail-order enterprise, either. Customers would actually pay for the figures - four of them - at toy stores, and only then did they get the mail-in form to send Kenner. Obviously, Star Wars had to be a big deal if people went for this kind of offer. Your purchase got you the necessary slip to send away for the figures, plus some other goodies tucked inside an oversized envelope...
To tide the little kids who were waiting for their first Star Wars figures over, the envelope included a cardboard display stand. I'm not sure how fun it would've been for children to stare at an empty display stand for two months while agonizing at the empty mailbox day after day, but hey, it was free. There were also a few stickers and other paper goods meant to keep the impatient satiated, but make no mistake - kids who ordered this thing were watching their postmen like hawks. I remember ordering a freakin' album to hold my baseball cards and crying hysterically every day for weeks when it didn't arrive. And I didn't even like baseball - imagine how nuts kids who were crazy about Star Wars went waiting for the damn figures to get there. I'm sure it was a long few months, but in the end, they arrived just as promised...
Your gift set included figural representations of Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, R2-D2, and Chewbacca. While three of those toys would remain virtually unchanged throughout Kenner's run with the franchise, the Luke figure that was included in the Early Bird kit is a very rare find. The 'double-telescoping' feature on its lightsaber accessory was discontinued before the national release, so the only kids who had a Luke with this magical plastic weapon were the ones who bought this set. I'm sure you can imagine how few of these remained intact over the years - a Luke figure with the souped-up mega lightsaber weapon fetches hundreds nowadays.
Soon after that, the toys hit the shelves and a new monster was born. The first movie only brought a small fraction of the 100+ figures the line eventually garnered, but each of these original figures were probably owned by every male between ages 4-12 alive at the time. The movie, obviously, was an unparalleled hit. Unparalleled hits rarely go without a sequel, so when The Empire Strikes Back hype started smacking around every media outlet in the world, there was a far more pressing concern on the minds of most kids: what would the new toys look like?
Lucasfilm was always very careful about letting out too much information about their upcoming movies. For the prequels, this was understandable. If people knew much about The Phantom Menace before having a chance to see it, they might've stayed home and wished it was all a bad dream. Okay, okay, they weren't that bad. I enjoyed Attack of the Clones immensely, but Father Time hasn't been particularly kind to my opinions on its quality level. But Phantom Menace? Holy Christ, let's take the world's largest movie franchise ever, let's grab an eight-year-old with no reasonable amount of acting ability, and let's hope nobody cares if the most pertinent scenes involve computer-generated horse monsters farting on Jar Jar Binks. But like Sophia, I digress.
The point is, in the weeks and months before Empire came out, Lucasfilm was very tightlipped about the whole thing. If you didn't see a new character in one of the trailers, chances were good that you weren't meant to see it at all yet. This extended to the toys - the Empire figures weren't available for us to see until such time as the movie's release. Up above you'll see a teaser ad for the 'new' Boba Fett figure. Why? He's the only Empire character fans already had a chance of viewing - Fett was shown, in animated form, in the Star Wars Holiday Special. His appearance in the special, by the way, was the only thing not completely damning or shameful about it. Right after the Boba Fett cartoon aired, viewers were treated to a sequence where Bea Arthur hugged Greedo and sang cantina songs. A lot of people had nightmares on that fateful night in 1978.
Though the ad displayed the figure as having a 'firing rocket pack,' the toy that actually arrived in the mail had no such feature. To make a long story short, the firing rocket accessory proved to be too dangerous for kids who wanted to keep their eyes intact. Many people claim to have gotten the Boba Fett figure with that feature, but in almost every case, they're lying or remembering things incorrectly. Very few of these figures exist, and of them, most are unpainted prototypes that could've only been snatched up by wily Kenner employees.
The teaser offers for Empire Strikes Back toys didn't stop there...
This advertisement, which was printed on the packaging of the first movie's figures, tried to employ a sense of mystery about what they were offering. A secret figure? What secret figure?! Who could it be! Honestly, it didn't really matter. So long as it was a new figure unavailable in stores, it was something to brag about to your friends. The great kingdom of kids were growing tired collecting Stormtrooper after Stormtrooper, and the thought of new plastic warriors to collect had little mouths watering from here to Dagobah.
All it took was four proofs-of-purchase and six-to-eight weeks. So, which figure did ya get? Smartly, they chose a character who wouldn't give away any major plot points by appearance alone. In truth, seeing this guy brought about more questions than answers. The primary question, of course: what part of Empire Strikes Back entailed stuffing dinosaurs into pilot suits?
It's Bossk! His only real contribution to the film was staring downward towards one of those Imperial Brits while growling. I took it as either a threat to eat the Imperial or a complaint that his shirt didn't fit. The figures that you got through these mailaway offers came in Kenner baggies instead of in their usual cardboard bubble packaging, presumably to save on material and shipping costs. Bossk, an interesting creature, was always one of my favorites as a kid. If you're having trouble recalling his movie appearance - he was one of the bounty hunters called upon by Vader to track down Han Solo. He was only on camera for like five seconds, but this didn't stop hacks from writing 300-page novels about him.
In a way, getting these mail-order figures was better than getting them in the stores, even without the usual cool packaging. (believe me, packaging is way more important than many think, especially to kids and geeks) On top of the toy itself, you also received a little flyer explaining the figure's role in the movie. The blurb on the flyer isn't more than 100 words or so, and since it mentions so many copyrighted characters, it's absolutely chock full of 'TM' symbols. It's like learning a whole new language if you're able to read through it without becoming confused. And, as further proof that some people who collect toys need girlfriends to spend money on, even these flyers can fetch a hefty sum.
Anyway, Empire Strikes Back hit theaters soon after, impressing most to an even bigger degree than the first movie. This flick has become the Star Wars fan's perennial defense against all who say the franchise sucks. Hey, the prequels sucked, and Return of the Jedi was full of teddy bears - but Empire was a great film. The acting in the trilogy is at its best here, obviously because they actually had good stuff to work with. And since Empire was so good, there was little reason to doubt how great ROTJ was going to be.
Now, short side rant: ROTJ is hated by a lot of people. But it's the movie I always associate with 'Star Wars.' This is the one I saw in theaters, this is the one that shaped many wasted schooldays drawing Jabba the Hutt in the back of my Phonics textbooks. I think everyone has a movie they loved way too much as a child to ever speak badly against. So while I recognize that the great sci-fi/drama trilogy was somewhat tarnished by the decision to sell lots of plush Ewok dolls, I'm still going to sculpt little Academy Awards out of tin foil and put 'em next to my Return of the Jedi video. Don't try to stop me or I'll sculpt little knives out of tin foil and stab you many times. Don't you tempt me.
Much in the same way the Bossk figure was marketed, Kenner started adding teaser ads to the toy packaging to get a figure from the upcoming third film. They chose Admiral Ackbar. As a kid, I thought the figure sucked. And I wasn't the only one - long after Star Wars ran out of gas, Admiral Ackbar figures still warmed the toy store shelves. Apparently, it takes a more adult mind to appreciate the innate regality of a grumbling mutant squid who commands mile-long starships.
More interesting than the figure offer itself is the name of the movie shown - Revenge of the Jedi. Yes, that was the original title. The change came because Lucasfilm felt the name sounded a bit too violent and malicious. Well, either that or it was one letter too long for most movie marquee signs. Either way, anything that references the movie with the 'Revenge' moniker skyrocketed in value - including any packaged figure with this stupid Admiral Ackbar ad. Movie posters and one-sheets featuring the false title can fetch hundreds.
The flyer that arrived with Admiral Ackbar didn't say anything too important, but I just had to point out that this figure came with the worst accessory of any Star Wars toy. It was just a 2" chambered black stick. No gun, no rifle, no lightsaber, no spear, no nothing. Just a black stick. If you pose Ackbar holding the 'weapon,' he looks not unlike the leader of a marching band. Or alternatively, an alien who's trying to sell stylish dildos. Either way, I noticed how useless the accessory was as a kid, and opted to chew on and eat it instead.
There were also several offers found on various toy packaging for kids to get their Star Wars 'survival kits' - basically a bag of overstocked weapons and accessories they had nothing to do with. Each set came with assorted rifles, backpacks, headsets - even the damn bookbag Luke carried Yoda around in. It was a steep victory to achieve - you had to send in five proofs of purchase for this one. Still, a pretty cool offer considering that the only thing kids seemed to love more than getting a new Star Wars figure was losing each and every little part it came with within minutes. Nobody wanted a Rebel Soldier who couldn't be posed to shoot at Vader, and now we had a solution.
Our next entry is my favorite, and it really shows how great Kenner was both at promotion and at creating brand loyalty. I think it's safe to say that few toy companies would make an offer like this one today...
Though rare, some people swear that they received one of these Young Jedi Knight kits. It's easier to say that Kenner didn't actually go through with this offer, because it seems like they'd actually lose money on it. Still, enough people recall participating in it to where we'll just say it happened. The Young Jedi Knight kit was shipped to parents which Kenner had on their mailing lists, and included a coupon for their kids to choose a free figure. (free being a relative term - you had to pay a dollar for shipping) The envelope included lots of stuff - a poster, stickers, the coupon sheet, and most notably, a letter from Luke Skywalker himself!
Read this one, it's a beauty...
The letter 'Luke' wrote suggests that the package already came with a free figure. It didn't, but you got a coupon for one of those. That's nowhere near as important as Luke's preliminary paragraphs, where he fondly recalls his Jedi days of fighting evil and blowing up space stations. I like how he closes things off by telling kids to 'study hard.' Luke became such a sissy diplomat once they threw that 'general' title in front of his name. Also notice how he connects his first and last names by an odd squiggly line in the signature. According to study of graphology, that means he's impotent.
Kids were given a choice of four figures - I'd presume most would've picked Luke since he took the time to write everyone all these nice letters. As an extra bonus, you could use the three remaining stickers to decorate notebooks. Kenner struck chords on all sorts of levels.
If that's not enough for you, the envelope also contained letters to parents from a Kenner executive, explaining why their kids should all collect Star Wars action figures. The grammar in this two-page letter is questionable, even by my standards. Here's the first page:
"THE FORCE IS WITH YOUNG JEDI KNIGHT SAMPLE." I think Kenner hired Bib Fortuna as their proofreader. The next page:
Now come on, that's a great offer. Sure, they might've been expecting a little too much, since I really doubt parents were interested in reading three pages about a toy their son would like. But the president of Kenner signed it! In light blue ink! That's how you know this wasn't a photocopied autograph. Real deal, baby. Probably worth hundreds. Too bad it didn't come with a COA.
Our final exhibit comes from Britain. It's an advertisement from a comic book promoting the 'Star Wars Painting Contest,' which afforded kids with an artistic inclination the chance to win lots of hot new toys.
There was only one Picasso, so with 3,000 prizes to be won, even kids who couldn't draw a straight line had a chance to take home some prizes. Hell, you might've been a winner even if you sent them something like this...
I think Madame Tussaud should start fashioning a life-sized wax sculpture of me, because that work of art definitely proves that I'm destined for greatness. By the way, shoot me. This is just a small sampling of the incredible efforts made by Kenner to keep people interested in their products. Since the line was so successful, it might be a good idea for some other companies to follow their lead. And not just toy companies, either. My car's rearview mirror keeps falling off, and if I want to open the driver-side window, I have to punch it repeatedly. Why can't Ford send me some stickers to pick out a free new car? I promise I'll be brand-loyal for life, or at least the first 15,000 miles. Come on Ford, have Luke write me a letter promising me a new car if I keep studying really hard. Please?
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Though Star Wars took a major hit on the meters after two consecutively disappointing prequels, it's still my favorite bit of geek lore. I grew up with it, ate slept and drank it, and try as I might, I still can't go through a full month without imitating Jabba's laugh or putting on a shower cap to pretend I'm that bald cyborg who gets funky in Cloud City whenever Lando pushes the right buttons. Films aside, I've always considered Star Wars as having the most fascinating, in-depth marketing and mass-merchandising blitz of all time. You don't have to be a toy collector or a guy who likes making lightsaber gestures while holding a pool stick to appreciate this amazing forage in capitalism. Star Wars was science fiction - but it made money in a very American way.
