Written By: Matt
Posted on 4.30.03.

On each page of this feature, I will give you a new and previously unheard of gem of wisdom.  Make sure you mouseover me as you progress, or I'll blow your house down and figure out a way to eat your intestines while still keeping you alive so you can experience the tormenting pain and anguish for as long as I feel like chewing on you.


Like most kids, I wasn't very interested in the newspaper. Sometimes we'd get 'Current Events' homework in school, necessitating a brief glance of my local paper's kiddy section, but generally speaking, the closest I got to the thing was on the rare occasions where I volunteered to clean our bird's cage. Sure, I was always up for a little Calvin & Hobbes, but my parents had taken to removing the comic strips and handing 'em to me before I had a chance to tear through their daily news journals on a quest for more Far Side. There was one exception, though, and this exception was limited to Sundays.

I loved the advertisements in the Sunday newspaper. Didn't matter if they were detailing the groceries currently on sale or trying to hock me a Franklin Mint Rotisserie Shrink-Wrapper - something about those colorful photo arrangements and big screaming 'BARGAIN!' tags piqued my curiosity way more than a story about how Lucille Ball died or how the zoo added a new mandrills wing ever could. Of course, if the ads had anything to do with toys, that was all the better. Oh, those glorious weekend saunters where I'd whisk my troubles away in a sea of Toys R' Us inserts that joyfully proclaimed its competitive prices.

Today, we take a trip back to 1986, marking X-E's 45,335th trip back to 1986, with a page-by-page look at Toys R' Us' 'Out of this World!' toy catalog. Sixteen pages of destined collector's items being given away at RETAIL. Everything from bikes to trains, and video games! I'm never quite sure what age group I'm really writing for here, but if your birth year is in the general vicinity of mine, these holy pages will assault you with righteous memory overloads and really slow loading times because they're so damn big and gif-like. Enjoy...

CONTINUE TO PAGE 2!

I've got a long neck, I've got a loooong neck!  I'm a giraffe...I'M a giraffe.  Hotcha.




 


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