I was hoping that my two favorite characters from the land of Kool-Aid would at least land a cameo in his comic book, but no such luck. "Sharkleberry Fin" and "Purplesaurus Rex" had juice mix flavors of the same name, and were always sales leaders amongst those young enough to buy into animal-inspired names as a special thing. I know Sharkleberry Fin's been discontinued, and I haven't seen ol' Purplesaurus for a while, either. I don't really give a shit if the mix flavors ever return, but I'd kill to see these wacky dudes assault network television again with their special blend of claymation, puppetry and BERRRIESS, OH YEAH.
Here's a small tribute to my two idols from Kool-Aid Kingdom -- a pink shark and a dinosaur who's supposed to be purple but looks just as pink as the shark.
Purplesaurus Rex appeared in the commercials as a giant dinosaur storming the city like Godzilla, only instead of decimating everything, he just wants to serve Kool-Aid. The flavor was kind of a mixture of orange, lemon and punch, but at the heart, it was mostly mutant grape. As a child, the flavor and character always seemed like such a big deal -- it was one of the only Kool-Aid advertisements that didn't feature the red pitcher breaking through brick. They obviously had faith that Purplesaurus could make the hard sell on his own merits.
In the ad pictured above, Kool-Aid Man introduced his new pal, who served Kool-Aid to any kid brave enough to stick their heads out high floor windows to check out the gigantic dragon stomping over everyone. Purplesaurus only says one word in the commercial -- "Purple!" -- but he says it with the convincement and emotion of an actor far more experienced than he actually was. Described as a "prehysterically purple" flavor, kids went wacky wild Kool-Aid style for this crap. On the 10,000 Kool-Aid F.A.Q.s available online, it's always noted as one of the most beloved flavors. Even more than Cherry! Cherry!
Download the "Purplesaurus Rex" commercial. (.wmv, 713 KB)
I loved Purplesaurus Rex, but he was no match for the ultimate Kool-Aid character: Sharkleberry Fin! The flamingo pink shark looked ferocious, but he was more interested in being suave than being full of human bodies. The stylish sea beast spoke intelligently, and didn't mind hanging out with the very same type of kids other members of his species would normally mutilate and devour. An almost-neon pink shark was sure to attract attention during those afterschool television lineups, but while Sharkleberry Fin was indeed popular, he's since gone extinct. Many Kool-Aid enthusiasts have tried to recreate the flavor by combining other available mixes, but it's just not the same without a cool pink shark on the packet.
The drink that was made from Sharkleberry's mix isn't easy to describe. It was pink, of course, but it was more "pink" than you could imagine. At least a hundred times pinker than pink lemonade, so we were dealing with some serious pink. The flavor was nearly unidentifiable -- everybody remembers it slightly differently, and truly, there's no one word that'd shed light on what this shit actually tasted like. I can only describe it as a strawberry/lemonade concoction with some orange tacked on top.
Not that it mattered, though. Few kids sought out Sharkleberry Fin (or Purplesaurus Rex) because of their taste. There were just so few Kool-Aid flavors with man-eating beasts pictured on the packets. To compare, "Lemonade Kool-Aid" only featured Kool-Aid Man struggling to hold up lemon-shaped dumbbells. Dinosaurs and sharks are always going to win out against fruit-shaped workout equipment.
Download the "Sharkleberry Fin" commercial. (.wmv, 795 KB)
By the way, the video quality on these commercials is absolutely terrible. Maybe I should've mentioned this earlier.
...or return to X-ENTERTAINMENT!
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