VIPER: Oh my God! It worked! We're back to normal!
COMMANDER FRACK: Soldiers, we've done it! We can now serve Cobra to our fullest potential!
STORM SHADOW: Jeez, Frack. Can't we get drunk or laid or something first? Workaholic.
GRIP: I've got my claws back! Return of the claws!
DESTRO: Commander Frack! You're back!
COMMANDER FRACK: You're a poet! And you don't know it!
DESTRO: Well, I've got to admit it...I did have my doubts. This is the first time the Joes have ever turned our troops into Gremlins. Remarkably enough, you four have set a historic precedent.
STORM SHADOW: And we grew a Chia Pet!
DESTRO: Yup, that too.
COMMANDER FRACK: TROOPS, listen up! This is your commander speaking. Oh wait, that only goes for three of you. Destro, maybe you should do this instead.
DESTRO: TROOPS, listen up! This is your commander speaking. Now that the Frackpack has been restored to their original purdyness, the only thing left to do is return to base and present Cobra Commander with his Chia Pet. Who's ready to go home?!
VIPER: Me!
EDDIE: Me!
ARMGUN: Me!
STORM SHADOW: Can we hit a deli first?
GRIP: Me!
GANZOID: Uh, noble Destro, sir? I do believe you've forgotten something. You owe payment to Master Ma'Seraido. Please, remove your mask.
DESTRO: Hah! Are you kidding? I ain't taking nothin' off.
GANZOID: Surely this is some manner of humor I was not programmed to understand. Surely you wouldn't dare defy Master Ma'Seraido. Surely you've heard the legends about his wrath.
DESTRO: Oh, get with it, Ganzoid. You see what I'm standing in front of, here? I've got six of Cobra's best troops at my command! Do you really think that gnome's powers could match up with the ultimate force of evil? And stop calling me Shirley.
MA'SERAIDO: Chhhhhyyyyoiiiittttlllllleeee.
GANZOID: Master has never, and will never be threatened into submission, Sir Destro. He demands that you remove the mask this instant.
DESTRO: Oh yeah? Let's see what my troops have to say about that...
ALL: TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF!
DESTRO: You fiends!!
DESTRO: Very well. I suppose everyone must follow through on a promise once in their life. Eddie, old friend...help me take...this mask off.
EDDIE: But you'll die!
DESTRO: No I won't.
EDDIE: Alrighty then.
DESTRO: You do realize that your thumb is in my eye, correct?
EDDIE: Which one?
DESTRO: The right one.
EDDIE: Wait, you mean your right eye, or my right thumb? Eh, I guess it'd be the same eye/thumb either way, right?
DESTRO: Will you just get your fucking finger out of my eye?
DESTRO: There! Are you happy now, you insolent toads! Here! Here it is! Here's my face! Gawk, squawk and cackle all you want! Stick and stones, you fools...STICKS AND STONES!
DESTRO: What, like you're surprised? Didn't think I'd be this hideous, did you? Why else would I go through life with fifteen pounds of silver screwed around my head? You think I'm competing with Mindbender for the biggest fashion statement? I KNOW I'M UGLY, STOP LOOKING AT ME!
STORM SHADOW: Hahah, Destro's livin' la vida loca!
ALL: Upside, inside out! Livin' la vida loca!
DESTRO: You'll pay for this, every last one of you.
MA'SERAIDO: Choytle Snoytle Allyoytle.
GANZOID: Master Ma'Seraido offers more of the same kind of insults and general mocking.
STORM SHADOW: HA, you look just like him!
COMMANDER FRACK: "Baroness, Baroness! I can't find my nail file! Call a meeting, call a meeting!"
DESTRO: I've never said that, you idiot! Give me back my mask. We're going back to headquarters right now!
DESTRO: I'll never forgive you six fools for the torment you've put me through today, but rest assured, if any of you breathes a word of any of this, to anyone, you'll find your nuts detached and being eaten by large apes quicker than you could say "stop cutting my nuts off, Destro." But now, we have more important things to worry about...
DESTRO: ...it's time to present Cobra Commander with his Chia Pet!
VIPER: Holy cow, we're really going inside? I'm really going to meet Cobra Commander?!
DESTRO: Yes, Viper, that is correct. All we have to do is walk up a flight of stairs. By my estimation, we should reach the Commander's chamber in about...oh, two weeks.
VIPER: Oh sweet mother of fucker, Jesus holy and shit.
COMMANDER FRACK: That's my line, you stealer!
INKY: Look, I didn't say I wouldn't go back. I just said I'm not comfortable with it.
RAPID-FIRE: Not comfortable?! Don't you realize what's at stake? We're not playing tag with the breastless kindeegarders, soldier! We're trying to win a war! You have to go back, and you must be successful. The free world is depending on you!
INKY: Rapid-Fire, you don't understand what it's like in there! It's swarming with Cobra soldiers! I know they're suspicious! I've smelled their suspicions! Have you ever smelled suspicion before, Rapid-Fire? It STINKS!
RAPID-FIRE: Get a hold of yourself, Inky! You're falling to pieces! G.I. Joe cannot afford to have you going skitzo on us!
RAPID-FIRE: Come on, just look at ol' Snake Eyes, here. This guy not only infiltrated enemy territory, but he managed to take down four of their troops! And why'd he do that, Inky? So you could slip into Cobra Headquarters less conspicuously! Are you going to let his sacrifices go to waste?
INKY: No...I suppose I can't do that. I hate being the good guy. We're so boring.
RAPID-FIRE: You're damn right you can't do that. Now get your ass up and head back to Cobra Headquarters! We're counting on you!
INKY: Fine, Rapid-Fire, fine. I'll go, but I won't like it.
RAPID-FIRE: I could give a rat's ass if you like it...just get the job done! Don't forget your coat...
INKY: I'm going, I'm going.
RAPID-FIRE: Oh, and Inky? One more thing...
RAPID-FIRE: Don't forget your mask.
-- Matt (2/13/04)
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