Well, if Skeletor wanted a bride, he picked the right chest.


Holy crap, Skeletor's got the sword! The whole thing! Evidenced by the heroes' reactions in "Climby Clouds," this is serious shit right here. Skel's been pining for that sword for a real long time, bewitched by the magical powers it possesses. He knew that, come the day he had the sword, Skeletor could've done pretty much anything he wanted. Today is that day. Skel could take over Eternia, pillage Castle Grayskull, kill He-Man -- the guy could give Orko legs and then take 'em away a minute later out of sheer spite. Instead, he just wants to get married. Hopeless romantics, they come in all shapes and sizes.


Ah, man...that's the cutest thing in the whole wide world. And now, it's the cutest thing on the world wide web. I almost typed that "wold wribe web," forgetting that I shouldn't hit keys like I speak. I don't stutter.


See, you're probably thinking Skeletor is merely showing Teela the potential wealth of gifts he could deliver through some interdimensional Saks Fifth window. No. He's really brought that shit into the castle. It's really there. Skeletor really just gave Teela a wedding ring. This is so going down as my favorite coloring book ever.

Notice how quickly Teela changes her tune? Check out her "I just can't hide it" smile. Skeletor's ugly, but Christmas wouldn't be depressing ever again never.


For some reason I envision Teela marching down the aisle to the tune of "Pomp and Circumstance." But Randy Savage hasn't looked like Teela for like, ten years now. Anyway, she's got a pretty hip dress for 1984, all things considered.


Hmmm, I'm sensing a little bit of the ol' cold feet here. Teela shouldn't worry...everybody goes through that. Too bad her father isn't here to offer comfort. Oh wait, that'd bring Man-At-Arms into the book. I'm borrowing Beast Man's laser gun from our last story to blow up this paragraph. I just hope nobody punches the laser blast first.

Besides, I don't know what she's complaining about. Save for the slight perversions displayed by Beast Man, she's been treated downright marvelously. Free gifts, a nice dress -- Skeletor didn't even send her to the lovely wedding room by his usual method of hitting an out-of-nowhere button to make a trap door open up under Teela's feet.