Our second story, "Bridal Path," is the real reason you're seeing this article. I don't recall any old He-Man cartoons where Skeletor showed the slightest romantic interest in Teela, but when it comes to print, he thinks with the little head. Watch with amazement as Skeletor kidnaps, flirts, and forces marriage on Eternia's hottest chicky.

Never got to see Teela with her hair down on the cartoon. Not sure if I've ever seen her ride a unicorn before, either. All in all, this page is a landmark and I'm framing it.

I just noticed something. Counting "Bridal Path" and "Cloudy Climb," Beast Man has been more effective in the pages of this coloring book than he was for the entire run of the original Masters of the Universe series. Here we see him shooting guns, avenging Skeletor, beating up Stratos, and most recently, doing all sorts of neat monkey tricks. Who knew he was such a franchise player?

Haaaaa, "gorilla grip." I think I'ma keep that one.

Beast Man's doing that thing where he snuggles a woman under the guise of platonic carrying; he's sure to keep one hand purposely and obviously away from her tits, casually stroking away with his opposing forearm. I'm on to you, Beast Man. You're a perv. Still, with the way Teela's dressing here, I can't say she's not asking for it.

Christ, this is one long montage of Beast Man carrying Teela around, ain't it? I'm having flashbacks to that guy's loopy pre-battle speech from "The Two Towers." And hands off her thigh, Beast Man.

There's a couple of things bulging in that room, and its name ain't Santa.