"Cloudy Climbs" isn't as goofy as the second story, but it still packs a wallop of insanity. While many of the cartoon characters were never defined in much detail, the people who put this book together took an awful lot of liberties with how they'd act and react in particular situations. That's fancy talk for "what the Hell am I reading?" You'll see...

By the way, some of the pages are colored. Not my work. Actually, the best part of these pages is seeing how badly the book's previous owner colored them. Freud would have a field day examining the intense, misplaced black strokes and the fact that the characters' asses are colored much more often than any other item.

Stratos interrupts He-Man's daily ritual of kneeling in the grass without purpose, crying about the skies being in danger. See, Stratos is sworn to protect the skies. Stratos sucks, but the skies are too rarely attacked for it to make any real difference. When something crappy happens in the clouds, he'll all about panic attacks and making other heroes do his job. Know why he never takes off the goggles? Doesn't want us to see the decade's worth of shame and guilt wrinkles.

Battle Kat, for his part, quietly mouths his distaste for the shitty birdman before Stratos gets too close to hear it.

Yeah, Skeletor's turned the cloud into his own personal flying car, and He-Man thinks it's an "astounding feat." And I guess it is, but it's still pretty annoying to see He-Man say it aloud. The book's previous owner seems to agree with me, releasing his rage by making He-Man bleed from every part of his torso.

In the confines of this story, He-Man's fabled power sword is safely tucked away atop a giant mountain. I don't remember this nuance ever turning up on the cartoon, but okay. I could question the intelligence of placing Eternia's most important artifact in a spot where the only guy who can protect it is Stratos, but any excuse to get Skeletor driving a cloud around is well warranted.

Man, they weren't kidding about that "fast as lightning" part. Evidently, Skeletor's driving a really slow cloud, as there's just no way He-Man would have time to find a Battle Ram and zip back to the mountain before Cloudytor finished the six inches left on his journey. Unless he's been stashing Battle Rams behind every other tree in Eternia. You know what? He just might've.

Also: I'm not totally sure, but it looks like the book's previous owner wanted to make Castle Grayskull throw up. Right on Stratos. My distaste for Stratos was never marked, but if you're going to make a house vomit towards anyone shown on this page, Stratos was definitely the right choice.

Well, after seeing Skeletor's shitty Nerf fencing lance, I can understand the need to steal a power sword. The artists got a bit lazy while drawing the details on the swords, obviously thinking we'd be too fixated on SKELETOR DRIVING A CLOUD to notice anything else.

We've barely scratched the surface, and already we've hit such cultural landmarks as a cloud-driving Skeletor and castles that upchuck. What new perils await? Keep on clickin'...