THE CEREAL PRIZE PROJECT: GROUP 004
("Millenious" Special Edition Cheerios, Cheerios Commemorative Y2K Penny)
#016 - Special Edition "Millenious" Cereal Box: (General Mills, 1999)
Additional Images:
Large image of box-front. Large image of box-back. Close shot of limited edition sticker. New millennium predictions on side panel. A bowl full of Millenios!
We're not digging that deep -- you all should remember this. When most of us were partying like it was 1999, because it
was, dammit, a select, neurotic, extremely paranoid, will-accept-anything-reported-as-truth faction of the universe firmly believed that when the clock struck midnight and turned the calendar page to 2000, the entire planet would immediately explode. People were buying emergency kits, people were stocking up on MREs as if they actually liked the food, people were generally being completely insane.
Of course, nothing really happened when the clock struck twelve. Dick Clark declared pandemonium...that about did it. But while some used the months and weeks leading up to New Year's Eve to spread fear, paranoia and malaria, others took a friendlier route: This was the turn of a century! The only turn of a century damn near all of us would ever see! It was a time for joy! Drinking! Partying! Drinking! Auld Lang Syne!
And General Mills knew it. They weren't about to squander an opportunity that very likely would only come once in the company's lifetime. No, by God...they were gonna get a limited edition cereal out of it. With that, "Millenios" was born -- a "once in a lifetime" Cheerios spinoff, in a special shiny foil box complete with hot gold label and a bunch of requisite "PREDICITIONS FOR THIS NEW CENTURY WE'RE ABOUT TO KICK THE ASS OF" side panels. Still, as neat as collector's edition cereal boxes may be, people who brought "Millenios" to the checkout line had another thing in mind: Cheerios shaped like twos.
Yeah, so, 90% of the included cereal bits were just regular Cheerios -- nothing fancy, nothing new. The remaining 10%, however, was dedicated to the special "2-shaped" Cheerios pieces, affording everyone who ate breakfast the chance to see the year 2000 in their own silver spoon. It didn't make "Millenios" taste any different than its father, but this was a whole new kind of crunching action. We've all eaten Cheerios so many times, it's easy to fall into a bored lull with whatever goes on in your mouth after you shove the spoon in. Now, with the 2-shaped bits of world class glory, your chompers, throat and soul had to readjust to entirely different crunch sensations.
Besides, why should Alpha Bits be the only cereal that gets to say its an educational tool?
Best of all were the instructions on the back, detailing how to transform the box (after you've finished eating the cereal, of course) into your very own time capsule. Probably not the kind of time capsule you'd bury underground, but hey, that's why we've got attics and sheds. There's empty spots for the box owners to scribble in their name, address, the date the capsule was created, and most importantly, the date they plan to dig it out from under that pile of never-played board games in the far corner of the scary, monster-filled basement.
They even offer a few suggestions for box contents, like collectible toys, CDs, newspaper clippings and the like. In that you see why I'm able to skirt the rules and include "Millenios" in the Cereal Prize Project: The very box is a prize! Swear! Though I'd be surprised if a single person on the planet went through the trouble of sorting out mementos, stuffing them in a cereal box and hiding said cereal box for years and years, I give major circuit props to General Mills for the sentimentality. It may sound dumb to put your favorite stuff in an empty cereal box, but under the right light, it's actually a pretty cute little idea.
#017 - Commemorative Y2K Penny: (General Mills, Cheerios, 1999)
Additional Images:
Certificate of authenticity printed on back.
But wait, there's more! With every
other kind of Cheerios cereal (at least five total, including Honey Nut), Y2K enthusiasts were granted a cereal premium that, despite all signs indicating otherwise,
had to be worth more than a penny. Yes, the first ten million minted Year 2000 pennies were available in boxes of Cheerios cereal. This was a really gigantic promotion that got tons of press, even if nobody gives a shit about pennies from 2000 five years later. Each came in a nice package, complete with a certificate of authenticity printed on the back, in case anyone had the silly idea that General Mills would risk their bazillion dollar business just to trick people with hilarious gag pennies.
--
Matt (6/14/05)
