THE CEREAL PRIZE PROJECT: GROUP 005
(Zany Raisin Stickers, '84 Olympics Bumper Sticker, Smurfs License Plate, Outer Space Sticker Kit and Pound Puppies Paper Vehicle Kit)
#018 - Zany Raisin Stickers: (Kellogg's, 1988)
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Sealed in package. Sealed sticker set. Arrived with Nut & Honey Crunch coupon.
Remarkably, Kellogg's Raisin Bran never sealed a deal with the people in charge of the
California Raisins franchise, no matter how much of a match made it heaven it would've been. The claymation characters were riding an incredible wave of popularity in the late `80s, originating simply to lend some personality for a few raisin-based public service announcements, the Raisins became popular enough to warrant their own freakin' Christmas special. It's a testament to the soul Will Vinton's merry band was able to bring to everything they touched. After all, this shit was officially endorsed by no less than Ray Charles himself - a victory that means so much more to people who don't remember his guest stint on
The Nanny.
The "Zany Raisins" stickers -- obviously inspired by SoCal's legendary you-know-whats -- included of a bunch of raisin-bodied freaks ranging from cowboys to fat salon hoppers. Kids were supposed to place the stickers on action-packed scenes found on the back of Raisin Bran boxes, but it's far more likely that they ended up on notebooks or foreheads. And then they died.
#019 - "Pour It On, America!" Bumper Sticker: (Kellogg's, 1984)
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Sealed premium.
Fueled by love for
Summer Games, a classic Commodore 64 game (now that I think about it, it was likely the first video game I ever really played), I took great interest in the 1984 Olympics -- partly because my brother was a hardcore gymnast and watched the event religiously, but also because, at the time, I didn't know exactly what the stakes were. In my mind, I'm seeing all of this coverage, I'm seeing all of these flags, I'm seeing so much attention given to these sporting events I couldn't even name, and the only solution I could up with was simple: The country who won the Olympics was the #1 country in the world. I swear to God, I truly believed it, and my six older siblings were sure to cash in by filling my head with all sorts of lies about what would happen to our family, friends and neighbors if the U.S. lost.
Despite lacking the media sensation that comes with two bitchy ice skaters throwing grapes and spiny eggs at each other, the `84 Olympics felt especially huge. At least, they did to me -- a child who'd been led to believe that his country would be overrun with Uzi-toting aliens if some guy from Detroit couldn't break the pole vault record. Kellogg's had a storied history of getting involved with the games in every way they could, and what yer looking at up there is just another in an immense series of Olympics-related promotions from the company: The "Pour It On, America!" bumper sticker. I don't have much to say about it, though I'm happy for the reminder that I should review
Summer Games at some point. It's the reason I can hum every national anthem from Japan to the Netherlands on call.
#020 - Smurfs Mini License Plate: (Wallace Berrie, 1983)
Additional Images: None. Go to Hell.
Totally had this as a wee'un, but I can't remember exactly which cereal it came with.
Probably came in boxes of 1983's Smurf Magic Berries Cereal, but ya never know. As a fan of Smurfs and shiny things made of metal, I carried this stupid miniature license plate around with as much care as a straight-A high school student holding their baby during Parent of an Egg Week. I eventually lost interest, as that's what kids do, but a nicely painted vanity bike plate with Smurfs on it ranks pretty high up there on the list of shit people got for free with breakfast.
#021 - Outer Space Sticker Kit: (Kellogg's, 1983)
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Sealed premium. Sticker set - front. Sticker set - back. Weird instructions.
Okay, this one's a little more special than you might give it credit for on the first glance. I know toys skewed for super technology have increased in scope by the folds even since the time I was young, but we mustn't forget the days when glow-in-the-dark stickers on our bedroom ceilings felt positively magical. The "Outer Space Kit" features a text blurb suggesting that those who use the stickers should pretend they're a famous astronomer, curiously adoring the stars, planet and comets like any famous astronomer would. Moreover, the cereal prize scores high simply for combining two of youth's greatest champions: Stickers, and things that glow in the dark.
There were three sets available -- one for stars, one for spacecraft and one for planets. I got the last one, which is most def better than stars, though I'd love to see what crazy kinds of spacecraft those drugged up lab-coated nutjobs down in Kellogg's House of Smokin' Beakers came up with. In a tribute to good judgement, the text on the kit's front flap doesn't make use of a single "your anus" joke.
#022 - Pound Puppies Cereal Vehicle Project: (General Foods, 1985)
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Sealed premium. Front of poster. Back of poster.
Yes, I loved
Pound Puppies. I was old enough when they came out to know better than to ask for one -- too girly -- but when my mother bought one for some very estranged niece's something-or-another and dropped out of whatever stupid event she was supposed to attend and make with the gift-giving, I instinctively worked the charms and tears just hard enough to get the thing for myself. Hey, it's not like I picked the doll over He-Man or anything -- it was just
there, waiting.
The Pound Puppy was chocolate colored with short ears, soulful eyes and a collar that made him feel like less of a dog. Arriving in a vaguely doghouse-shaped box (the kind you kept, which was right up my alley), the pup also came with an adoption certificate, complete with a space for you to officially name your fostered sack of cotton. Thus, "Coco" the Pound Puppy was born. Would've been "Cocoa" had I known how to spell it. Coco and I raised hell more times that I can remember -- usually under the kitchen table, sharing a box of Saltines.
This interesting premium isn't a poster, but rather a giant sheet of shit to cut out that'll let all with a free afternoon to spare turn an empty cereal box into a giant ass vehicle for a bunch of
Pound Puppies and
Pound Purries paper dolls to drive around. There are enough materials included to turn the box into either a school bus or a river raft, and as much as I'd love to show you the finished product, my old lady used up allll the glue...on PURpus!
--
Matt (6/16/05)
