Derek and Chris: In a daunting road trip through shitty weather, these guys drove all the way from Virginia to join us. Derek (left) is a pro-wrestler for the NWL and Chris does graphic design. Derek also has a problem keeping his pants on.
Robowang and Jason: These guys also made quite a trip, driving down from Toledo, OH. Both are students and long time fans of the site.
Chad and Adam: These guys are my good friends who came along as backup in case any weirdos decided to attend. Chad and I arrived a little late, hoping there wouldnt be a crowd waiting around anxiously to see if I would show. Luckily that wasn't a problem as it appeared nobody was going to show. So we made the best of the situation and initiated Plan B: "get disgustingly drunk and humiliate ourselves on Dance Dance Revolution." Before we had the chance though, Chris and Derek found us at the bar and introduced themselves. The four of us shot some pool for awhile, and when it seemed certain nobody else was coming we thought about where to go next. It was then that stumbled on Robowang and Jason almost by accident, and my friend Adam almost at the same time. Suddenly our numbers had doubled and we knew it was only a matter of time before we ran into trouble. Trouble presented itself as an announcement over the loudspeaker. It seemed Santa had arrived and was looking to do some gaming. He was taking challenges in the game of your choice. If you beat him, you won a special prize from his bag. We immediately searched the building and finally found him from the second story balcony, on his way to the bathroom.
We waited outside the bathroom and when he came out I immediately challenged the big red machine to a battle on the "Sky Pirates" machine...a game involving mechanical chairs that raise you to the ceiling and back based on the movements of a hot air balloon you're piloting. Why this game? Mostly because it usually costs about $5 to play and I'd rather have it on Santa's tab. He accepted the challenge and the goon that was following him (who had an unnerving resemblance to Joey from friends) announced that "Dr Robert" would be taking on Santa at what apparently was Santa's best game!
I have to admit, I was a little nervous because Santa apparently thought he had this one in the bag. I gave him my best game face as the Friends guy looked ready to shit his pants because he was so excited. He informed me that the last time Santa had played, he had scored a record breaking 400 some points. I'm no virgin to this game so I know thats a pretty damn good score. But I wasn't ready to back down. Someone needed to remind Santa that he's a one-trick pony and should stick to delivering presents.
It turns out I had nothing to worry about as I handed Santa his own ass 257-60. It's possible Santa had thrown the match, but I didn't care. All that mattered to me was the spoils of victory! As Santa got down on one knee and started rooting through his bag, thoughts raced through my mind as to what my prize would be. A Playstation 2? A new bumper for my car? Cold, hard cash?!?! No. Santa handed over possibly the most disappointing piece of crap you could have imagined. It hadn't even made it onto the list of "bad gifts" I had come up with in my head. What toy could possibly upset someone like me this much??? |
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