September 26, 2006:
The Halloween-themed sitcom episode is a special thing. Though not entirely uncommon, it's never a given that a particular sitcom will grace our Octobers with a Halloween episode. When it happens, we feel special, and so does the show. Whereas the more prominent "Christmas episode" gives sitcoms a chance to be extra sappy and unusually heartfelt, Halloween was an opportunity to turn prime time television into a freakshow.
Of the sitcoms that had Halloween episodes, some only went through the motions, using the holiday as a minor background theme for what was really just a normal episode with a pumpkin in the window. Other sitcoms did it better, taking the spirit of Halloween as an excuse not just to redecorate the set, but to produce truly balls-to-the-wall episodes that would've never flown at any other time of year. And, frankly, for as much cool Halloween shit us nuts can find at department stores, it's not exactly embraced by the entertainment industry on a truly large scale. When a sitcom gave us pumpkins, candy and costume parties, a loyalty was forged from the viewer to the show that would never be broken, no matter how much the particular series started sucking in later seasons.
Today: A look back at what I'd consider a good example of a Halloween-themed sitcom episode. Only catch is, it's from Perfect Strangers. I'm not sure if you, you specifically YOU, liked Perfect Strangers, but personally, as the series was one of the founders of the TGIF lineup, I've got many fond memories of its ambition to be a really big and popular show without ever losing sight of being a really stupid show. Plus, I just have this fascination with Larry -- with how both the character of Larry Appleton and the man who played him, Mark Linn-Baker, both seem to exist against the very grain of what a sitcom character should be. I don't know what I mean by that exactly, but it ties into this: I could watch six hours of Perfect Strangers straight, close my eyes, and still manage to forget what Larry looks like. Even leaving some room for obscurity under the weight of comedy catch-phrase spewin' powerhouse Balki Bartokomous, Larry was so incredibly "just there." Know why girlfriend-of-Larry character "Jennifer" was cast as a mute and always dressed in patterns that blended in perfectly with the drapes? Because that's the only way a girlfriend-of-Larry character made sense.
This Halloween episode is strange in many ways, but the leading reason is clear: It's not a Balki episode. It's not even an evenly split Balki/Larry episode. No, this is that rarest of beasts in Perfect Strangers lore. It's a Larry episode.
Though Larry's character was more of a foil, and only given lightweight personality quirks like "impulsive" and "paranoid" and "gonna try to buy this $2 item for $1," here we learn that he's a Halloween fan. There are people who celebrate Halloween, and there are people who eat, sleep and breathe Halloween. Larry Appleton falls into the latter category, and I love him to death for it.
On this special day, there's a twelve hour horror movie marathon on TV, and Larry, ever the Larry, decides to make a party out of it, but doesn't bother to invite anyone until the afternoon before the shindig. And the only people outside of his immediate crew of cousins, girlfriend and cousin's girlfriend that he can think of to invite are Lydia and Harriet, two coworkers who weren't ever expressly interested in taking their kinship with Larry to the next level before. Lydia's excuse: She doesn't like horror movies. Harriet's excuse: Her mother-in-law's in town, and she's horror enough. Okay Harriet SHUT UP there was absolutely nothing at all wrong or uneasy about Estelle Winslow. Girl would fucking breakdance over fire if you gave her a cracker. SHUT UP.
So, the party goes down that night, but only with the usual crowd. Jennifer and Mary Anne come dressed as witches, and they look way too pissed off to just be good actors living the role of ignored girlfriends who hate horror movie marathons. No, I think Melanie Wilson and Rebeca Arthur just couldn't hide their disbelief in being the 3rd and 4th biggest stars in a top rated sitcom and still not get enough play to win free milk at the local grocer. And Rebeca has even more to be pissed off of than that, having been given a name that forces every banker to ask if it's spelled wrong whenever she cashes a check.
The girls leave early, but Larry doesn't care, because he's Larry, and Jennifer only mattered if she like, got a job offer in Dallas or was caught screwing around with one of Larry's convenient old archenemies that turned up every other season with an opposing high school baseball team's varsity jacket on.
He just figure that it'll be a boys' night in, but Balki's only still there because he lives there, and even with assurance from Larry that the movies are even more fun to watch in the dark, our Mypoian hero calls it a night -- but not before going off on horror movies, claiming that they rot our brains and put unpleasant thoughts in our heads. Hey Balki, you just lost a point.
Even as all his trusted allies abandon ship, Larry rightfully refuses to accept that a night of nonstop horror movies is a bad thing. Like a true soldier, he goes it alone, clutching a pumpkin-shaped candy basket as the TV announces its upcoming flick, Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Add in a candle with triple-layer Indian corn colored wax and a Coors, and Larry is having the kind of night I'd blow a lamp wish on.
The next morning, Larry wakes up feeling a bit queasy, attributing this to the fact that he ate 400 fun-sized Milky Way bars the night before. We've all been there. It's a perfectly normal morning in the Appleton/Bartokomous household/apartment at first, but soon, things get weird. Larry catches Balki igniting a stovetop pan with a finger-shot green laser and getting the carton of milk to suspend static in midair. Balki admits to no tomfoolery, and just as a giant pod falls out of the closet and into Larry's arms as they ready themselves for work, his cousin exits the apartment by walking right through the closed door.
Wait a minute -- they had work that day? You mean to tell me that Larry stayed up for a twelve hour movie marathon when he had work the next day? That can't be true, and I think we both know what the only possible explanation is. This isn't just a Larry episode, it's a Larry dream sequence episode. The rarest of the rare! The ultimate kind of Perfect Strangers episode! The one they submit for Emmy nominations in Best Everything! LAR-REE, LAR-REE, LAR-REE!
Running to the office ahead of Balki, Larry confronts his coworkers with the sad news that his cousin plans to use alien clones of everyone to take over the world, or something. I don't know, my head was more focused on the very clear fact that the set designers used the same exact bunch of Halloween decorations in Larry's apartment and workplace. For shame. Of course, the girls are already acting weird, and with one prop newspaper headline later, Larry is totally convinced that Balki's years of niceties were merely a cover for a grand scheme of Halloween evil.
What a great episode. Generally speaking, Perfect Strangers episodes consisted of Balki's shtick and Larry's reactions to Balki's shtick. And, I guess it's sort of the same here, but since Balki's shtick has temporarily evolved into the ability to float while hurling threats of global domination, I refuse to call this "more of the same."
Sitcom Halloween episodes often had the largest budget of the TV season, and from the alien pod to the Balki suspension cables, the producers spared no expense to make this episode worth reviewing almost twenty years later. Now, if only they didn't send a PA with a ten dollar bill down to Duane Reade for the Halloween decorations, we could start our ultra-effective petitions.org petition to get this episode released on DVD with commentary from God himself.
After one final brush with Balki and his brainwashed followers (including a "put on the vest, Larry, put on the vest" skit that actually got me to chuckle audibly and feel embarrassed about it a second later), Larry wakes up on the couch, revealing the whole ordeal to be a nightmare orchestrated by twelve hours of horror movies. Hmm. I guess that makes the moral of this episode, "Don't watch horror movies for twelve hours straight." Morals in prime time television have become a lot more complicated since Perfect Strangers.
I watched this episode because it was Halloween themed, but I have to admit, it was genuinely funny. Not funny in a "I used to think this was funny" way...it's still funny. Like, when Larry finally wakes up, he removes the costume blade from his chest, starts giving his "I learned something" speech, and sits back down only to find the costume blade lodged up his ass. It's all about the extra steps. Also note that Larry wore said costume blade on his chest along with a Jason Voorhees mask, which is just such an outrageously careless, slapped-together kind of costume that I think he totally deserved to dream about Flying Evil Balki for thirty minutes.
Click here to see a clip of Larry and Balki arguing about watching scary movies in the dark. Click here to see a clip of Balki using alien superpowers to make breakfast. Click here to see Larry wake up and get off the couch, making you wonder why no fun-sized candy bar wrappers fell off his crotch.
