September 27, 2007:
I've grown to become one of the biggest Friday the 13th fans around, but I wasn't raised on the stuff. While fascinated with Jason Voorhees (and his slasher cousins) throughout childhood, I could only handle the films in small snippets. Either I'd catch the criminally edited versions late night on network television, or waltz in and out of a room where someone older and braver was watching one of the films.
But by the summer of '89, I was ten-years-old, and just about ready to face my theatrical fears. It just so happens that Jason's latest adventure came out that very summer -- it was the eighth film in the F13 franchise, and this time, Jason was going to do his thing on the city streets of New York City.
Jason Takes Manhattan opened to dismal reviews, but everyone expected that. Less expected was the film's poor box office (still the lowest of any F13 film), and least expected of all was that even the most diehard followers of All Things Jason couldn't find much to rally behind. Combining the film's failure to deliver on the promise made by its own title and the fact that it wasn't terribly mindful of the canon set by the seven films before it, it's sort of the bastard child of the series -- and the last one funded by Paramount before they sold all the rights to New Line.
But, it's been almost twenty years. Looking back, was it really that bad?
Kinda, but it was my first real F13 flick. I can't remember the exact circumstances, but I was staying over my sister's house on some long ago weekend, and we all went up to the nearest Blockbuster to kill an hour renting things that would help us kill more hours. I think it was pure morbid curiosity that put Jason Takes Manhattan in my hands. I wasn't really into horror movies at all back then. I guess I was just sucked in by all of the trailers that made the movie out to be 120 minutes of Jason Voorhees slashing through Times Square. Horror fan or not, that sounded like a winner.
Oh, and there was one other thing that made me consider the rental. It hadn't been too many months before that I saw Jason Voorhees strut his stuff on the most unique platform of his storied career: The Arsenio Hall Show.
Yes, The Arsenio Hall Show. I wasn't a regular watcher or anything. Had a little television next to my little bed, and as I recall, Arsenio came on during an hour of the night when there weren't any of the usual good sitcom reruns on. I liked him better than any of the other talkshow hosts he competed against, mainly because my parents dragged me to see Coming To America years before. I felt that Arsenio and I had some form of bond. He paved way for early titty shots.
On most nights, he was just background noise. I'd kind of halfway hear the crowd do that "hoo hoo" thing from under the covers, and I'd let them lull me to sleep as if they were some high concept form of white noise.
But on that night, things were different. As Arsenio ran through the guest list during his opening monologue, I barely heard a syllable until he got to the only four that mattered: Ja-son. Voor-hees. I wasn't a Jason expert at that age, but I sure as hell knew that this was something worth staying up for.
Billed as a "deranged sociopath" by Arsenio, I couldn't believe my eyes as Jason -- the real, honest to God Jason -- walked out from behind the curtain, machete and all. I figured it would be some goofy segment with a guy in a moderately passable Jason costume, but no...this was the real deal. It was screen-used movie shit, and I can tell this for sure because Jason Takes Manhattan is the only film in the series where the exposed parts of Jason's head looked like raw chicken breast.
He even came out to custom theme music that sounded like something you'd hear during an upper level of Castlevania.
I was about to pose some questions as to the amount of money the studio had to pay to get this segment on the show, but a little research makes it all clear: Jason Takes Manhattan and The Arsenio Hall Show were both from Paramount. As far as diversity goes, nobody can touch Paramount's resume. Except maybe that guy who played both Pollux from Face/Off and the idiot who stole baby raptor eggs in Jurassic Park 3. As if Sam Neill needed more reasons to do that sigh-into-slump gesture of disapproval that always made him look like a deflating balloon. Good going, Pollux/Egg guy.
It's tough not to love Arsenio as he totally plays along and tries to do the interview as straight as possible. Jason, of course, has no response to any of Arsenio's questions, either completing ignoring them or slightly tilting his head like my dog does when I make clicky mouth noises without moving my lips.
Everything about it is great. I've long considered "Macho Man" Randy Savage as the number one guest in Arsenio history (he appeared as the "Macho King" and assured the audience that royalty was not a figment of his imagination), but seeing this interview again...I'm not sure. Jason might have him beat.
Arsenio tries to lighten the mood with some Jason-related comedy questions, and even if they're not exactly sidesplitting, our hero's non-reactions sell it as something Emmy worthy.
I guess it would've been pretty pointless to go through all the trouble of transporting the delicate screen-worn costume and not put the right guy in it, so yeah, that's probably Kane Hodder in the suit. I'm sure I could confirm this within three clicks of a Google search, but I'm in no mood for that.
If you don't know, and if you haven't read the other 65 articles where I write out the exact same story, Kane took the Jason reigns starting with this movie, and kept 'em for three more. He's been pretty well established as a great guy who'll tagalong on fans' grocery store trips if they really seem to want him to enough, and F13 enthusiasts quickly accepted him as "the" Jason. Prior to Hodder, nobody had played Jason in more than a single film.
For whatever reason (and I've heard a few), Hodder wasn't used again for Freddy Vs. Jason. I like that movie a heck of a lot more today than when I first saw it, but I never quite took the monster onscreen as "the" Jason. He almost looked like something a studio that didn't own the rights would create to skirt any legal issues. You knew he was Jason, but it was still easy to argue that he wasn't. In closing, Kane Hodder will be playing at the Copa Lounge at the Sands in Altantic City next Friday, in his newly formed A cappella quartet. They all dress up as nuns and call it irony. New Line should've let him stay Jason. :(
Arsenio asks Jason to narrate a clip from his new movie. He doesn't, but they show it anyway.
The clip is around 45 seconds long, and features Jason stalking a couple of lost teens through the very dangerous streets of Times Square, which is not something I say tongue-in-cheekly, as Times Square was pretty shitty at night back then. What the audience didn't realize is that they were seeing half of the total amount of movie footage actually shot in NY.
That was the main complaint about the film. Jason Takes Manhattan is a pretty tough title to misconstrue, and they didn't help matters any by creating a bunch of trailers that completely neglected to tell us that most of the film would be spent on some lameass party boat, with Jason systematically destroying a bunch of cruisin' near-grads. The director has since admitted that a better title for the film would've been Jason Takes A Boat, and even when they finally reach Manhattan (with barely any time left in the film), most of what we saw was shot on movie sets elsewhere. This explains why New York City was primarily represented by back alleys and sewers: They couldn't afford anything else.
Getting Jason away from Crystal Lake probably seemed like a good idea at the time, and a helpless yacht actually wasn't the worst alternate setting in the world. But when you're expecting the F13 version of the last act of King Kong and get a boat instead, it's pretty hard to stop throwing popcorn and lamps at the screen.
After the clip, there's some more shenanigans. Arsenio finally wraps up the interview (I still can't believe they gave this thing five whole minutes), offering Jason the customary "hey we're done" handshake. Jason takes it, but before the crowd can make cutesy noises over Jason's first show of affection, he yanks Arsenio closer and, apparently, considers killing him. Arsenio jumps away quickly; in fact, he jumps away so quickly that I'm guessing that the bit wasn't scripted. They probably brought Kane Hodder out back and whipped him senseless immediately following the taping. Poor Kane. :(
I saw this when it first aired, and I think it was the first time I really appreciated Jason. I'd probably been Jason for Halloween five or six times by then, but it wasn't until he yanked Arsenio's arm that I truly understood why people wanted to play board games with him. Since that night, July 28th, 1989, I've kneeled by my bed every night, praying to God that Jason will come play Scrabble with me. I'd have to turn a blind eye when he pulls more than his allotted amount of letters from the sack, but still, how cool would that be? Jason fussing over having to waste a "Triple Word Score" space with a mere six-pointer? I'd kill for that.
Click here to download and watch the segment. I would've given you the link earlier, but then you wouldn't have read all that stuff about Scrabble and Pollux from Face/Off. You give to me, I give to you.
