If there's anything we've learned so far with this little countdown, it's that Halloween knows no bounds. We've seen everything from Froot Loops to microwave TV dinners get the spooky treatment, and now, yes, even god damned damned god yogurt is joining the fray. Meet Dannon's "Sprinkl'ins," the lowfat snack with surprise sprinkles! Woo hoo! I'm pretty sure this crap is available all year, but for the month of October, Dannon spruced it up with a bounty of Halloween graphics on the packaging, plus a free sticker. Take a look...


"Freak out this Halloween!" Mmm hmm -- each package comes with a "Creepy Freaks" sticker, around three inches long, suitable for placement either on your forehead or a book, the latter of which probably being the best option because few kids would seek to so clearly advertise the fact that they collect stickers found in packs of yogurt. The social ladder isn't easily climbed, and despite yogurt's surge as a top lunchroom snack, it hasn't quite shed its inherent aura of being incredibly lame glop that makes any child who eats it also lame by association. These aren't my rules -- my nieces and nephews have explained the nuances of yogurt to me several times, detailing how it's okay to eat the stuff so long as you don't make a big deal out of it. You'd think something as simple as yogurt could be taken at face value with no extra rules, but it's just not the case. Some kids learn the awful truth about yogurt the hard way: you've gotta be careful with how you use it.

Anyway, the sticker in my pack appears to be some kind of green slime monster. I named him "Manny." Not sure why, it just seemed to fit.


Now here's the interesting thing about Sprinkl'ins -- each cup comes with a sealed pouch of sprinkles under the lid, marked by a mysterious question mark the likes of which not seen since we got a peek at Frank Gorshin's section of the storage wall on that bad guy submarine on the old Batman show. Wow, I have no idea where that came from. Hopefully, three of you will understand what I mean, while the rest of you just assume it'd be funny if you'd seen the old Batman show. Yeah. I tested out two of the sprinkle packs -- one was a decisive orange, the other was green with traces of various other colors. Here's the post-mix finale:


Glory personified, almost kinda sorta. The orange sprinkles worked as you'd expect -- the yogurt turned a light shade of orange and tasted more like orange juice than the normal vanilla. Thank God. I hate vanilla. The mostly-green sprinkles lent a more impressive hue to the previously white snack -- now it looked like the puke of someone who sampled many, many things right before getting sick. I can't really describe what it tasted like; I guess it was closest to some form of fruit medley, though unborn octopus and gator meat were also in the running. Give credit to Dannon for making one of the world's few truly healthy snacks more attractive to kids, even if it doesn't seem all that Halloweenish now that I've had a chance to examine it. Hey Dannon, you put bats and skulls and shit all over the box. Where's my Halloween fun?

Now I know how Linus felt.

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