Cherry Kool-Aid:
There's no way around it, no ifs, ands or buts: "Cherry" is the ultimate Kool-Aid flavor. It was the first, it's still the best, and for all who'd claim otherwise, remember this: Even the Kool-Aid Man himself is filled with it. He's not carrying around a head full of grape, orange or Strawberry Falls Punch. When it comes to Kool-Aid flavors, Cherry rules the roost. Cockadoodle Kool. That should so be a flavor.
I apologize to the site's dirty foreign readers, but there's just something so Americanny about Cherry Kool-Aid. It's picnics, it's Fourth of July barbecues, it's summertime by the pool, it's prison bitch lips paradise. When people think Kool-Aid, they think Cherry Kool-Aid. Simple as that.
I'm hesitant to remark too heavily upon the package art seen above. Though vintage, I much prefer the even older version with the simple smiling pitcher. This one's getting a little too cute. The symbolism involved in Kool-Aid Man powering up by way of a cherry dumbbell notwithstanding, I can't help feeling that the ARTEEESTS could've come up with something better. This is
Cherry, dammit! No creative expense should be spared!
An absolutely luscious red no matter how much sugar and water you put in the jug, Cherry Kool-Aid is almost literally the liquid equivalent of cherry-flavored Jell-O -- it looks the same, smells the same and tastes *exactly* the same. If you haven't had the stuff for a while, just think of Jell-O. If you like cherry-flavored Jell-O, you like Cherry Kool-Aid. Stop trying to be deep and complicated.
Though I've long claimed Cherry to be my absolute favorite Kool-Aid variety (and it is, historically speaking), I must admit, Father Time sweetened my memory. It's not that it ain't good -- it is -- but I'm thinking I like Black Cherry and a few others even more. Kind of depressing, actually. There's so few things I prance through life carrying my weight in certainty for: Sky's blue, sharks are cool, and the best Kool-Aid flavor is "Cherry." I hate bucking my own conventions, especially over stuff like soft drinks.
I'll save my self-debates for when I'm alone: Cherry Kool-Aid is the tried and true leader of the pack. It's happy juice. It's got
bloody powder. It's mmm mmm good.
--
Matt
