Kool-Aid Kool Pumps:
Having posted dozens of Kool-Aid reviews by the time of this writing, it's becoming more and more difficult for me to name my favorite flavor. Trying to place myself in a spot where open minds run wild and where every flavor stalks my tongue on an even playing field, I think it's safe to say that Sharkleberry Fin remains the absolute numero uno. I say this fully knowing that it's not the best tasting of the lot, but the one-two punch of a jazzy-voiced foam shark mascot and a shade of pink so pink it glows makes me say ooh ooh ah ah, like a monkey.
If only the medleylicious flavor of Sharkleberry Fin wasn't part banana. Even the most heroic Kool-Aids aren't without their tragic flaws.
In what will ultimately become related news, Burger King was desperately trying to catch up with McDonald's by the `90s -- specifically in the children's market, where McD's was clearly miles ahead. Between the goofy characters of McDonaldland to the endless array of free toys found in ultra cute "Happy Meal" boxes, I refuse to believe that there was a child in the country who didn't view McDonald's as their own partly edible Babylon. Burger King had made many halfhearted attempts to catch up, but now they were really beginning to put their clogged hearts into it. By the time they started offering Ninja Turtle videos, Happy Meals were becoming less and less of a default choice.
Finally, they debuted "Kool-Aid Kool Pumps," which
were available in grocery stores, but on a very limited basis. In effect, these were Burger King's own and only. In fact, at most restaurants, they weren't even available
inside, but rather as an exclusive to anyone willing to brave the perils of the twisting, turning drive-thru lane. Sharkleberry Fin was one of the few flavors immortalized in such fashion, and certainly the only flavor outside of the "generics," like Cherry and Orange.
If you've ever enjoyed a Flintstones Push-Pop, these were incredibly similar. Kool-Aid flavored globs of sherbet were packed inside each tidy little cylinder, and for every kid who never located the perfect way to wash down flame broiled cow, this was a true contender. Burger King's Kool-Aid Kool Pumps didn't last long because it took way too long for people to say "Burger King's Kool-Aid Kool Pumps." Yeah that's the reason.
The image above comes from a drive-thru Burger King
sign. The Sharkleberry Fin Kool-Aid Kool Pumps had to share real estate with an offer for some failed, godforsaken
chicken sandwich. We've all been there.
--
Matt
