Pina-Pineapple Kool-Aid:
Kool-Aid flavors make two-thirds of a great mixed drink, but I don't think there's a more natural fit for the hard stuff than Pina-Pineapple. This being the first review in X-E's Kool-Aid archive, I'll make two points clear from the getgo. One, the "Super Fruity" text on top of the package seen below means nothing. Through a period of undetermined length, most Kool-Aid packets added that blurb...it's just a marketing thing. There's no difference between a regular Flavor X and a "Super Fruity" Flavor X, save for whatever internal smiley faces you gain from seeing the big rainbow text on top of the packets.
The second point: Many Kool-Aid varieties have cryptic flavors. You can't tell what the taste is absolutely intended to be from its name, from the package art and definitely not from the ingredients list, unless you know which fruit most closely resembles titanium dioxide. In Pina-Pineapple's case, there's no clear message that the pineapple punch carries a bit of coconut, but I definitely tasted it. I know it's in there...hiding. Being nutty. Coconutty.
I said I had two points, but let's make it three: Many flavors, through their package art, introduce new incarnations of the Kool-Aid Man. This time around, it's that wondrous tropical deity known only as Kool-Aid Luau Man, donning a Hawaiian shirt, a lei and sandals that reveal a truth the world never knew before: The Kool-Aid Man has toes. Toes!
The color is translucent enough to skirt looking like urine and be rather pleasant, needing only a few rimming cocktail umbrellas to transform into the official drink of the Paradise Island resort's babysitting room, where parents leave their poor kids for eight hours so they can turn to a liquid more spiked. Nice.
I think it's safe to say that no other Kool-Aid flavor
smells anything like this. Envision cutting a few slices of fresh pineapple and dousing 'em with tanning oil. Take whatever your envisionment looks like and cover it in sugar:
That's Pina-Pineapple.
And how does it taste? Pinappley! My favorite fake word. The flavors are subtle enough to make downing a few cups in succession no problem whatsoever, and if you take bitsy, tiny, little bitty sips at a time, it's sort of like a waxless version of the yellow wax juice stick. Bad description, but I'm talking about
these things. Not a Kool-Aid flavor I'd ever fill
my thermos with, but Pina-Pineapple passes all three tests: nice packaging, nice color, and a flavor so close to nice it can
taste it. Good show, Kool-Aid Luau Man.
--
Matt
