Watermelon Kiwi "Invisible" Kool-Aid:
Can't comment on its current level of production, but the collection of "Invisible" Kool-Aid flavors are still widely available in stores. The starring trait for this sub-line? "Uncolored" Kool-Aid, seeming very much like plain old water to anyone who isn't close enough to smell its fruity reveal. I didn't think I'd like the stuff as much as I do, but Kraft isn't employing a gimmick to mask an otherwise shitty product: Watermelon Kiwi Kool-Aid is absolute heaven on the tongue. Trust me -- this is the one Kool-Aid flavor that could turn anyone into a fan.
The "gimmick" is sneaky -- all they're really doing is leaving out the color dye so prominent with other Kool-Aid varieties. They're not really giving you something extra -- in fact, it's exactly the opposite. And yet, it's a totally forgivable offense, because there's no way in blue hell anyone's gonna complain about a business venture that results in an invisible Kool-Aid Man. An INVISIBLE Kool-Aid Man! Course, invisible is more of a term in spirit since he's better described as an albino Kool-Aid Man, but the point is, evolution peaked right on that package art, giving the world hopes, dreams and a viable reason to use the white Crayola crayon. I finally know what love feels like.
It's not just good for us, either. The Kool-Aid Man benefits from going ghost in plenty of ways. Now he can go grocery shopping, catch
Batman Begins or just stroll around the park without having dozens of people pointing at him and shouting about giant pitcher demons being the first sign of the Devil's return. He can live a little, and after all he's done for you and I, he deserves it. Plus, let's face it, we're a society of thrill-seekers. Whenever we get naked and do our little ass dances by ourselves in the privacy of our bedrooms, we'll never know if the Kool-Aid Man's watching. Friends, that is a
thrill.
And by God, the taste is friggin' amazing. I performed the taste test right after making it, meaning Watermelon Cherry didn't have the advantage of a chill factor. I
still couldn't get enough. Didn't even need ice. While the kiwi quotient in
Kickin' Kiwi-Lime Kool-Aid sent me spiraling towards damnation, I don't mind it at all with this one.
Watermelon Kiwi Kool-Aid is the liquefied equivalent of watermelon Jolly Ranchers, and I shouldn't need to say more than that. Watermelon Jolly Ranchers are the reason people don't kill themselves. Don't deny it. Just go with it. Grab the Watermelon Kiwi Kool-Aid. You'll be even less inclined to knife a socket. Also,
click here to see the mysteriously visible invisible powder!
--
Matt
