Cobra Commander has gone mad! What happens when the evil fascist ruler of the Cobra terrorist organization decides to use a sexuality-altering drug to confuse and defeat his villains? Find out in... 'Homosexual Snake Venom!'  Cobra Commander: Doctor! Is that gay drug almost done yet? Doctor: Why yes, Cobra Commander. I have finished it. Who would you like to test it on? Cobra Commander: Destro! Doctor: But Cobra Commander! Wouldn't it be better to test it on one of your enemies? Cobra Commander: I don't care! I wassss a mahhhhn! Oh yes...was once a man!  Destro: For some reason, I'm finding this banana's phallic attributes rather...pleasant. Wait...wait a second. I'm gay! I'm a homosexual! Oh no! Meanwhile, the Joes discuss this new gay menace....  Beachhead: I'm tellin' you guys...Cobra's gonna turn us all into fags! General Hawk: What does it matter? Half our troops look like the Village People anyway. Duke: No General, Beachhead's right. I don't want to wake up with Storm Shadow in my crotch. We've gotta put an end to this! The Joes are distressed over the possibility of going 'sissy'...  Flint: Lady Jaye, you've gotta kiss me, quick! I was hit by the gay drug! Kiss me before I start finding Big Lob attractive! Lady Jaye: Well, I don't know if this is a trick or not....but okay....  Lady Jaye: AHHHHH! What happened to you?! Flint: Oh no? Did I turn gay?! Lady Jaye: NO you turned into a monkey! That wasn't a gay drug...you were hit by a monkey drug! Elsewhere, Destro finds his new outlook on life pretty tough to deal with...  Baroness: Hurry, Destro! If those gay bashers get a hold of you, there's no telling what might happen! Destro: I knew I shouldn't have emphasized my European accent! It's a giveaway everytime!  Random Redneck Joe: C'mon Destro, you pansy! I just want to hold your hand! Yeah, that's it! I promise I won't beat your fudge-packin' skull in! Honest! The Joes look after one of their fallen heroes...  Duke: Poor Bazooka. He's really taking being gay hard. No pun intended. Oh well...men, keep him strapped to that hospital bed. I won't have any of my troops making passes at one another.  Bazooka: What are my parents gonna think when they find out? Shoot me...please shoot me guys! PLEASE! The disease spreads like wildfire...  Zartan: What in God's name has gotten into you guys?! Orgy? Get your filthy hands off me....ZARANA, HELP! The Joes' master plan unfolds...  Flint: Shipwreck...I need to know if you're gay too... Shipwreck: Well yeah I am...but it came long before that drug, Flint. Hardy har har. Flint: Anyway... What are we gonna do about it? Shipwreck: Present company excluded, we just have to kill all the fags. There's only one Joe capable of doing the job...  Quick Kick: SHOW ME THESE FAGS! I SLICE FAGS! I EAT FAGS FOR BREAKFAST AND SPIT THEM INTO SEWER WHERE FAGS BELONG! YES! To be continued? - Matt Thanks to everyone who's been voting for us in the Global100. We're up to #25! | |||