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eBay.Com - Case V - Viscera Man's Lady Friend!
Presented by Matt on 04/07/00

My personal quest to show the world the ins and outs of eBay bidder stupidity continues! People will buy anything - even rip-off Barbie dolls with flashy outfits!

Oddly enough, this was the most successful member of Family Viscera on eBay. This doll was avaiable at most gas stations and 7-11s throughout the tri-state area for about two dollars. How much did she fetch? Around 27.

" Viscerie "

Here we go again! Family Viscera shows up on eBay one more time!!! And this time around, we present probably the most controversial associate of Family Viscera yet...VISCERIE!!! It's a tale of a young, beautiful Viscera debutant gone bad. Let us elaborate...

Picture it. New York, 1999. Famed original member of the family, Viscera Man himself, lounges happily with his lady friend Viscerie here in the safehaven of our offices. But, as time tells us again and again, all good things must come to andend, so to pay off his old gambling debts, Viscera Man actually sells himself on eBay! (yes this is all true--Viscera Man sold for 7.16 a few months back!) Viscerie was left without her Viscera Love.

Deeming himself protector of Lady Viscera, Viscera Man's trusted brother, Johnny Corpse, took a paternal role with Viscerie, trying to keep her from self-destruction. As fate would have it, Johnny Corpse became frustrated with the lack of dairy products here, and sold himself on eBay just as his brother did! A nine dollar bid sent him away, leaving Viscerie all alone again.

Enter Vampire Bobby.

The ruthless, evil, long-lost cousin of Viscera Man and Johnny Corpse. Even though he too joined the Viscera Club and sold himself on eBay, the check has yet to arrive, and Vampire Bobby decided to use his time left to his advantage by realizing his childhood dream of becoming a pimp. Yes, Vampire Bobby is pimpin' hoes, left and right, all through 1999. His star attraction? Viscerie! Through some coaxing and conning, the sinister Vampire Bobby convinced Viscerie that her escortial talents shouldn't go untapped, and the rest is history.

So, as you can see in the photo above, Viscerie became Vampire Bobby's pimp business' main asset. Men lined up, cash in their pockets, prepared to pay whatever it cost to get some private time with the lovely Miss Viscera. And judging by these never-before-seen photos, we'd say her customers are more than satisfied!!

But all this is really taking it's toll on Viscerie's self-confidence. Her ego shattered, she's only a Visceral shell of the Viscera woman she once was. But you can help. Get her out of Vampire Bobby's hands before it's too late. Bid on Viscerie...take Viscerie her that there's more to life than pimps and cocktail shrimp. Show her love, affection, but most of all, show her every Chevy Chase movie in existence. When you bid on Viscerie, you get everything shown below...including Viscerie herself w/ removable cheetah print evening gown bedsheet...and, for no apparent reason, a brain with humanesque features! If you like Viscera, you'll love this!

Good luck, and please check our other auctions this week--summer clearance on old stock, including toys, video games, antiques, knick-knacks, books, and so much more!!! Combine wins and save on shipping!

There ya have it. People wanted this. All it takes to sell even the stupidest piece of crap is to turn it into a prostitute with a story to tell. - go there now, and sell your old socks to buy a new Mercedes.

-- Matt