Jeremy: Hey, this is Jeremy Codeine, and welcome to my show! Audience, have I got a terrific show lined up for you tonight...my oh my. It's so good, I might just invest in some better camera equipment! I must look fuzzier than the graphics on the Atari 2600! Hee hee! Whooo!

Jeremy: Jeez, cameraman...really...could you at least try to get a clear focus on my marvelous face? The people deserve it.

Jeremy: Anyways, it's time for my little stand-up routine before I bring out tonight's special guest. Hmmm... Hmmm... Okay, got it! Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Give up? Hmm? It was dead! Hahaha! Anyway, let's bring out tonight's guest. You'll know him from his supporting roles in such films as Star Wars, the Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi...an extraordinary actor...here's the Stormtrooper!!! ::claps::

Jeremy: Stormtrooper, thanks for being on my show.

Stormtrooper: Oh, the pleasure is all mine. I haven't been this excited since Sonny Bono hit that tree a few years ago.

Jeremy: Haha! Oh that's great. Terrific! Anyway, let's start with the question on everybody's mind...

Jeremy: Stormtrooper, there's an issue many of us feel we need to discuss. Now, I'm a little uneasy about bringing this up...it might be a sensitive issue with you. But you know, I am a journalist, I've gotta ask...what the fuck is up with your aim? I mean seriously...you guys must've fired what...about 50,000 laser shots in the Star Wars trilogy? Seems maybe 3 of those shots actually hit their targets! Aren't you guys trained?

Stormtrooper: That's a very good question, Jeremy. Unfortunately, I refuse to answer it. You know...Imperial codes and stuff. Sorry.

Jeremy: I see. Well, moving on...I'm double-jointed. Look what I can do with my hands! Can you do that?

Stormtrooper: Hmmm...you know, I don't think I could do that, no.

Jeremy: Say, do you think I look better sans shirt? I've been working on my abs since August, and I'm pretty pleased with the results. What do you think...shirt? No shirt?

Stormtrooper: Dude, put the shirt back on.

Jeremy: How bout it I just leave it unbuttoned? It's got kind of a Saturday Night Fever-esque quality about it, no? Ayyyy...Bobby wouldn't go commitin' no suicide, coppa! No way, no how!

Jeremy: Okay okay, enough kidding around. We've got a special treat for our viewers tonight. Stormtrooper here is going to do a taste test!

Stormtrooper: Uhhh...I am?

Jeremy: Sure! Don't worry though, it's just a Pepsi Cola taste test. Nothing major.

Stormtrooper: Ohhhhh... Okay, sounds good. Lay it on me.

Jeremy: Okay Stormie! We're going to find out if you can tell the difference between Pepsi...and Masters of the Universe Slime! Cover your eyes before you taste!!

Stormtrooper: ......

Jeremy: Thanks for tuning in! Stay tuned for next week's edition of the Jeremy Codeine Show! Goodnight!!