 For us Star Wars geeks, those silly bounty hunters have played a crucial role in our undying love for the trilogy. God knows why, as most of them were on screen for less than 30 seconds. That's the cool thing about Star Wars though...if you get really into it and start reading the books and stuff, you find out that there's some ridiculously involved story for even the most passing of characters. For instance, did you know that the wolfman guy in the cantina went on to be a Rebel pilot who died trying to destroy the Death Star in Return of the Jedi? It's really funny to watch the movies with a casual fan who doesn't understand why Boba Fett is so beloved. But I'm not a Star Wars fanatic in the textbook sense. Star Wars and I are kind of like most people and porno tapes. I take as much of it in as I can possibly find...but I really don't go around talking about it. Anyway, bounty hunters. There were dozens and dozens of them in the Star Wars universe...but here's the most famous ones who made it on-screen. Let's take a look at them and figure out why they're so special....  Here's the James Dean of the Star Wars trilogy. Fans love this guy like a god. Why? Well...they'll tell you it's because of his cold, calculating attitude. Or his unbelievable bounty hunter ability. But I'll tell you the truth. We love him because he has a really cool looking suit. Fett was also pretty cool cuz he didn't back down from Vader. In Empire Strikes Back, where Vader would kill anything that looked at him the wrong way, Fett protested money issues with the guy. You have to respect that. Click here to hear one of Fett's only lines in the movie. Then, there's the rocket pack. Everybody I was friends with as a child was obsessed with Fett's rocket pack. We used to try to build them all the time...but considering the fact that we were using empty wrapping paper rolls, construction paper, and matches...we didn't get really far. Mostly we just made a semi-cool looking rocket pack prop, and then burned it thinking that lighting it on fire would make us fly. Oh well.   Greedo didn't speak English and had no stupid facial expressions from a human standpoint, but Lucas did a good job of telling us that this guy was indeed an idiot. Greedo had absolutely nothing going for him. He managed to get shot within 2 seconds of finding Han Solo, and his head looked like the top of an exotic vibrator. The only thing for his resume is that he was the first bounty hunter seen in Star Wars. Other than that, he was just another silly Star Wars alien who's best contribution to our society was a halloween costume for really stupid kids. Did you ever wonder what Greedo would say to you if you asked him for the time? Click here to find out.  This is a classic example of Star Wars being more than it seems. According to legend, Zuckuss has been in more adventures than fucking Luke Skywalker. On screen, this giant beetle appeared for 5 seconds. Zuckuss is a hodge-podge. It looks like Lucas and company grabbed all the assorted extra costume parts they weren't using and stuck them all on this poor actor. Imagine that guy...getting signed to do Empire Strikes Back...getting all excited, telling all his buds about his big part. Then he goes on the set and finds out that, not only does he not have any lines, not only will he appear for only 5 seconds...but he'll be dressed as a giant beetle with asthmatic problems. Such is life.  IG-88 definitely was cool. Like most, he appeared on-screen for a very short period of time...but he successfully conviced us that he was one badass droid. Course, even though he was an evil mercenary bounty hunter droid, IG-88 had some playful characteristics. If you looked past his rough exterior, you'd notice that IG-88 was modeled after the most cheerful person in history...   The pictures speak for themselves.  When you look at Dengar, you get the feeling that Vader must've just pitied him, and that's why he was called out as one of the 'elite' bounty hunters to find Han Solo. I mean really...he's just a 50 year old guy with a towel around his head. No one wanted to tell Dengar he sucked. They figured he wasn't doing anyone any harm, so they might as well let him think he's some important bounty hunter.  Yay. Another bounty hunter droid. I don't have much to say about 4-LOM except for the fact that the boys at Kenner thought it'd be funny to switch his and Zuckuss' names.   And to think, I spent years bragging to my socialite friends about my ties to the bounty hunter droid, Zuckuss. Fucking Kenner. I spent 15 years trying to convince people that 4-LOM was the beetle...and now I find out I was wrong. Screw you, Kenner.  I love Bossk...he's so ridiculous. There's so many dumb things about this guy, I don't know where to start. Alright, first off, this dinosaur guy is wearing a flight jumpsuit. Now, while that in itself is pretty odd, you have to understand that the jumpsuit's sleeves were about a third of the size necessary to cover Bossk's arms. Secondly, we have the hands. Bossk flew ships, right? That's why he has a flight jumpsuit. Well, how the fuck did he fly anything with those hands? Forget that...how'd he do anything with those hands? Bossk carries around a big rifle...fortunately for his enemies, there's no way he can shoot it. What do people of Bossk's species do when they get old? They certainly can't sew. They can't play solitaire either. They're totally screwed. Poor Bossk people. Oh, by the way, Bossk had the most profound line in the entire trilogy, which you can hear by clicking here . Bounty hunters played a big role in the magic of Star Wars no matter how stupid some of them looked. Besides...they weren't that bad. Nothing can be that bad if you compare it to Chewbacca's idiotic son...  Yucky wookie. PS - The Jessica Biel Gallery has been updated again. She so cute. She so cute. - Matt
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