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Get A Life - Episode Review - Girlfriend 2000
Matt - 06/15/00


For those of you who don't remember the overwhelming failure of the Fox sitcom Get A Life, which aired in the early 90s -- don't be fooled. Despite the terrible ratings it garnered, it was, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the greatest show in television history.

It was actually one of the first things I wrote about here on X-E, meaning that it's one of the things I love the most. The show featured Chris Elliot as Chris Peterson, a 30-year-old paperboy idiot who still lived at home with his parents. In season two, Chris moved in the garage of Gus Borden, an embittered ex-policeman who liked to eat rancid meat and roadkill. That when the show got really insane...between rescuing aliens and winning spelling bees after gaining super-intelligence from toxic waste poisoning, the show's trademark was that Chris died in every episode.

For those of you who have either never seen the show or who have totally forgot about it, here's a very complete episode review of one of my favorites, Girlfriend 2000. If you don't want to buy the videos or DVDs after seeing this, I don't know what's wrong with you...

And by the way, I'm not making up this plot or coming up with a zany story for the pictures...everything you see really happens in the show...


Girlfriend 2000:

Can Chris Peterson woo doctor/scientist Tricia Paddington?

The Story:

Chris, thinking that it's one of those days where he's semi-solid and cars can go right through him, gets run over (several times) while riding across the street on his bike...

Chris meets his assailant, Tricia, and is immediately taken aback by her beauty. After she twists his legs back in position, Chris freaks out over the mess his 'loveable sniffable bike' has become, prompting Tricia to use some of her other talents...

Tricia just happens to have welding equipment in her car, turning Chris' ruined bike into a brand-new wonderous bike for him to deliver newspapers... This was the final straw. Chris was in love. Tricia went off to work at the lab, leaving Chris to ponder his new feelings...

Chris showed up in the radiation chamber of the lab. After citing his love, Tricia regretfully informed Chris that she had no interest in him. Chris, angered, stormed out of the lab...

Back at home, Chris, complete with radiation poisoning, screamed for Tricia's acceptance. Gus, whose radiometer was going off the scales, came in the room and convinced Chris not to give up, and urged him to stalk her every step with the passion of a deranged lunatic.

Before he could get to stalking, Chris had to do something about all the pictures of Tricia he had pasted all over the garage. Seeing no better option, he decided to eat them.

Chris begins stalking Tricia - ending up everywhere from her television to her oven, but the only type of reward he got from it were several giant rocks to his face thrown from her window. Still, Chris remained determined.

Realizing that 'all this running around has really made him stink up a storm', Chris goes to the store to buy some deoderant. He also picks up some condoms, 'in case this whole stalking thing pays off'. There he meets the register girl, Evelyn, who immediately falls in love with Chris....

And yes, Evelyn begins stalking Chris. This show is fucking insane. Almost time for the climax..

The final meeting. Chris his under Tricia's couch cushions to stalk her, while Evelyn hid in a stereo speaker to stalk him. Evelyn said that if she couldn't have Chris, no one could, and then went after him with a knife. Just as she was about to stab him, a goofy guy fell through the ceiling, crashing on the floor. Turns out this was Russell, some guy who had been stalking Evelyn this whole time. He professed his love to her just in time to halt Evelyn's killing spree...

Or maybe not. Evelyn ran back in the house, telling them that she and Russell had been talking, and they decided that she should finish what she started, and stab Chris. Chris dies on the floor, leaving Tricia to question her luck with men while reading a newspaper on the couch. The End.


What the fuck?! Do you see what I mean now? This is, bar none, the most insane show you can ever hope to see. This is actually one of the tamer episodes, you honestly won't believe some of the shit this show's had in it.

I urge you greatly to pick up a video or DVD of the show from Amazon.Com. Believe me, you won't regret it. You might go insane while watching it, but you won't regret it.

- Matt
matt@x-entertainment.com