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The Worst Nintendo Game Endings...Ever!
Matt - 06/30/00

I don't know about you, but when I buy a video game, and put countless hours in trying to locate some stupid warp zone or ridiculous power-up, I'd like to receive a worthwhile ending after beating the game. Sometimes, I was satisfied.

Other times...not.

Let's go back in time to the days of Nintendo. There were a ton of games...and back then, strategy wasn't always an issue. Most of the times you just had to be extremely lucky to get to the end of the game...and that was a real rarity. But if you did, surely you could expect some grandiose ending, something to compensate for all that hard work?

Sometimes, yes. But again....other times...not. With that, I bring you...

The Worst Nintendo Game Endings In History!

1942 -- I honestly don't know how I ended up owning this game. It must've been one of those Christmas presents from an uncle who wasn't sure if I was 2, 12, female, or dead. Nonetheless, it was a video game, so eventually I became obsessed with beating it.

The levels were long and usually extremely boring. If you got shot once, you were dead. In most cases, that meant starting from scratch. You had to really put in some time to beat this one....and what would you get if you did?

Yeah. 'Congratulation'. That's it. They couldn't even say 'congratulations' correctly, nor use more than two colors to show you how proud you should be of your accomplishment. Can you imagine spending hours upon hours on this game, only to get this frigging crap? It's like finding the cure for cancer and AIDS, only to have some guy tell you 'hey...not bad!'. It's not right.

Castlevania -- Castlevania was a great game. The levels were all different, there were a ton of enemies, secret stuff, and cool weapons to keep you interested. With all the effort that went into Simon's quest to kill all the assorted monsters, one would think you'd get a pretty impressive ending, no?

Wrong again. The castle crumbles, and you get a 'witty' fake cast list. The fact that you played 'the greatest role in this story' couldn't make up for the fact that the final thing you'd see are some of the most poorly represented tree graphics in video game history. It makes you think that the game makers felt no one would actually beat the game, so there was no reason to put any work into a big fun ending celebration.

Jaws -- Jaws didn't need a bad ending to be included in this article. The game itself sucked enough on it's own. Honestly, Jaws had the distinction of being the worst video game I have ever played. The game was impossible, made no sense, and was all-around just an abomination as far as video gaming went. I never beat the game - and I really doubt any of you have, either. Statistics show that anyone who tried to play Jaws for longer than ten minutes without going insane inevitably killed themself.

Friday The 13th -- After pushing that start button and entering the video game rendition of one of the greatest horror series of all time, you'd soon find that the prospect of meeting up with Jason was far less chilling than you originally thought. It wasn't Jason that was scary - it's the idea that someone though this game was good enough to market that's really frightening. And the ending?

Just kidding...

But see, the real one isn't much better. If you beat the game, Jason will don a blue sweatsuit and pout in the corner while the mysterious Nintendo spouts out a cryptic message about him not really being dead. Fun fun fun.

Ghosts'N Goblins -- Yes! There were a lot of strange things going on in this one. Firstly, if Arthur got hit once...he didn't die. He just had to suffer the embarassment of going through the adventure in his sexy red underwear. For it's time, the game really wasn't that bad. Sure, you were almost never killed because you made a mistake...only if there were so many enemies on the screen at once that it'd be impossible to kill them all before they touched you with their acid hands of doom. I never understood this about some video games. Like the zombies in this game, for instance. They walk at you really slowly with their hands out...and somehow, you die if they touch you. I don't know how Arthur ever expected to save his girlfriend with this kind of durability.

On the plus side, the game ending provided what's easily the worst grammar I've ever seen...

Let's review that first one --

'Being the wise and courageour knight that you are you feel strongth welling. In your body. Return to starting point. Challenge again!

Translation: Ghosts'N Goblins was the first video game ever with a case of Tourette's.


'Congratulation. This story is happy end. Thank you.'

You know how you used to prank Chinese food restaurants and lay on a really heavy stereotypical Chinese accent? Well, here you go. Those boys at the Nintendo HQ were either really horrible at translating, or were looking to have a little fun. Either way, after spending a gazillion hours on this game, this ending was a huge slap in the face. Or a really funny joke. You decide.

Now if you'll excuse me, the Batman cartoon is on. It's an episode with Clayface. I just love Clayface.

- Matt