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A Hodge Podge Of Assorted Crap!
Matt - 07/01/00

Time to tie up some loose ends!

* We've got a new poll running - best cartoon of all time! Ten choices for you to pick from - let's see who the true king of the animated mountain is. Check it out on the main page of X-E. For those who are interested - Chrissy won our last poll for the best third roommate on Three's Company, with 51% of the total vote. So, here's her celebration picture...

Nobody seemed that impressed with the poll, and I can't say I blame you. I don't think establishing that Chrissy was more popular than Cindy is going to help any of us sleep easier at night. I'm a little pissed that she won though, after seeing all those Three's Company Exposed shows...seems like our dear Suzanne shafted Jack and Janet out of money and work! How can anyone fuck with Jack like that?

* X-E is proud to announce affiliate hosting! If you've got a cool site that you'd like us to host for you - absolutely free - check out the hosting details. Affiliates are granted a private subdomain on X-E - with private FTP access and ALL the space you need - go check out the details! This is your chance to get off an unreliable free server, or stop paying for web hosting altogether, and at the same time boosting your hits with a link from X-E!

Boba Fett was so excited about our new features, he took his mask off to get a closer look! Be sure to check out the feature sidebar on the main page of X-E for some all-new features! A full Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles graphic novel....more Transformers commercials...old Atari commercials...a full episode of the Mask cartoon, and even the full download of the 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special! I told you guys we were gonna be bringing you some of the weirdest shit out there...and we've delivered!

Course - I have to thank X-E's newest staff member, Dr. Rocket, for helping out with this site more than I ever could've hoped. He's handling the uploads of all our multimedia files - and there's tons more to come! He'll be taking care of the special features aspect of this site, so if you get a chance, e-mail to let him know you appreciate what's he's done for the site! In fact, he's decided to hold a little contest of his here's some words from X-E's media guru, Dr. Rocket!

"Well everyone there's a lot I want to get through in this post. First of all should be an introduction I guess. I'm Dr Rocket and I've been hired by Matt to take on some of the duties relating to the multimedia portion of our little site here. So over the next few weeks I'll be cleaning out that dusty old closet off the main page and hopefully get some serious updates going on there, also freeing up Matt with some more time to write. Which brings me to my next topic...

The First Annual Dr Rocket Super Happy Fun XE Multimedia Contest!!!

First and foremost the point of this contest is to drum up a little more interactivity with you readers out there. Sure I've got some good multimedia stuff to post up here, but I KNOW you guys have more! So your duty as loyal XE citizens is to GET IT ALL TO ME! Anything you have that you think might be interesting to your fellow readers, SEND IT! Do you have tapes of episodes of those 80's cartoons you think everyone has forgotten about? Send em over and I'll even digitize them for you. You have your own band and think they don't suck? Send some mp3's! You an artist? Draw some fan art of your favorite staff member and/or post and send it in to be scanned! Do you hit the ground laughing everytime you see that scene in Robocop where its revealed his high-protein food source is baby food? Get it on a tape and SEND IT IN! I don't care what it is! By now I'm sure you're asking yourself "didn't he say contest?" And yes, my friends, I did. Of all these delicious multimedia contributions I get, the staff here will pick the top 10 (assuming I get that many of course). Then you the readers will pick the top 3 from those 10 in an online poll. To the victors of these top 3 spots will go these prizes:

1st Place: Besides the title of First Place Multimedia Grandmaster, you will also receive a Super-Deluxe set of the first series of Beast Wars on VCD, pirated straight out of Singapore! Believe me, just the box these things come in is worth it. Hell, hock it on Ebay and make a few bucks, I really don't care.

2nd Place: A never-before worn XL size Decepticon t-shirt, with that well known evil insignia emblazoned on the front.

3rd Place: Umm...yeah...probably one of these Troma DVD's or something else. I'm not really sure yet, but it should be pretty cool.

Anyways, this is your notice people, now get with the sending! You can email anything under 5 megs to me at Anything over 5 megs, get ahold of me and we'll make arrangements. Well, I guess that's all I've got to say for now. Keep checking in because we've got some REALLY cool stuff in the works which hopefully will work out. I should have a bio up sometime soon, until then you can contact me at or on instant messenger at DrRocketXE. Remember, get those entries in! I'm setting a tentative deadline of July 10. Of course you can always submit stuff after that, but that's the deadline for the contest.

Good Luck!

Send Dr. Rocket Your Best Multimedia, And He May SHOWER You With Gifts!

The Pac-Man Pasta In Golden Chicken Sauce contest is over! We got a TON of entries, seems like a lot of you really wanted that can of rancid food. For those who missed the hooplah, you can check the original article by clicking here. Anyways - our winner is 'Lagomorph', who will be e-mailed tonight. Here's an excerpt from his winning essay:

'Pac-Man. Dear, sweet, disgustingly engorged Pac-Man. What more can be said about the eternally hungry yellow orb that has weaseled his way into our hearts? PLENTY! I grew up with Pac-Man, ever since my first birthday in 1983. At the age of one, I witnessed a smiling, yellow creature, nonchalantly dodging mean-looking (at the age of 1, they were scary) ghosts while reaching cheerfully for what I thought was a candy bar. This dude's got STONES, man! I thought to myself! ... well, actually, I probably just thought glub nor flamamamoo but what the heck. And this was just the COVER of the video game box!'

The winners from the TMNT and Spider-Man cans will also be contacted tonight, and you just may see the other essays here on X-E in a few days. Thanks for everyone who participated - some of these essays were more well-written than my college thesis papers.

New contest? Yep, for those who missed it in the Quest for Bulbasaur article, I've decided to give away the unholy monster that is the Green Bamboo Mystery Peanut. But you won't have to write any essays to win this one - all you have to do is send in a picture of yourself! The coolest picture takes the prize. (cute girls holding up X-E signs will have an advantage, but guys wearing chicken or monkey suits will be high up in the rankings too)

Send In Your Pics -- Win The Fucking Devil Peanut!

* Finally, I'd just like to thank all the sites that've been linking to X-Entertainment.Com in the past few months. It's greatly appreciated, and it's nice to know people enjoy what we're doing. The latest site that's helped us out is Penismightier.Com. Check them out! It's kinda hard to explain exactly what it's about - but you'll definitely see some cool shit there...everything from articles to webcams. Hey, any site with a section titled 'The Penis Archives' has gotta pique your curiousity.

If you've got a site and you'd like to link X-E, click here.

Okay, now we're all squared away. :)

- Matt

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