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Deleted Scenes From The X-Men Movie!!
Matt - 07/16/00

Wellp, I finally got to see the X-Men tonight. We were late and had to rush in, so it wasn't until I got home that I noticed the place jacked the prices up again, this time to 8.25. Hey, for 8.25 I could get a pack of cigs, a Snapple, and a scratch-off Lotto card. This movie better have been better than that.

And it was. I liked it. I liked it a lot. I liked it so much, that I went out and found the deleted scenes and behind-the-scenes footage you were never meant to see. Enjoy.


Professor X: Well Magneto, looks like your proverbial mate, is checked.

Magneto: That doesn't make any sense!

Professor X: Doesn't have to. I know Shakespeare. Hey, do you know that the guy who played your little pal Toad also played Darth Maul in The Phantom Menace?

Magneto: No shit, really?

Professor X: Yeah. Think about that. By the time we're through, this movie will have made a hundred million dollars. That guy's been in almost a billion dollars worth of movie sales, and yet not a single person on the street would recognize his face!

Magneto: That's very profound, Charles.

Cyclops: Strike got know it...oh yeah!

Storm: Cyclops, what the hell are you doing?!

Cyclops: My Versace pose! Wanna try?

Storm: Can't. One of my three lines is coming up...I've gotta prepare.

Cyclops: Coo'. Strike a pose...

Storm: Hey, who's this chick next to me?

Cyclops: Beats me. I think I'm supposed to be fucking her or something. We don't talk much though.

Magneto: So let me get this straight. You're telling me that a Vulcan is smarter than a Klingon? I don't buy it.

Professor X: Hey, I'm the authority. It's true.

Magneto: There's something racist about that. I just know it.

Professor X: Say, if I dissapear from the movie for about...oh...45 minutes...think anyone will notice?

Magneto: Depends on who's gonna be talking while your gone. How many shitty lines did they script for Storm?

Professor X: Not sure, but here's another question. Does Sabretooth say anything in this movie?

Sabretooth: Meow.

Mystique: OOOOOWWWW! Did you just stab me with your claws?!

Wolverine: Shit Mystique, I dunno. My arm's outta camera view.

Mystique: Well I feel like Hell.

Wolverine: Ya look like Hell, Mystique.

Mystique: Please. Are those sideburns, or were you attacked by a couple of mutant caterpillars?

Wolverine: Was that supposed to be funny?

Mystique: It was, but I couldn't think of anything funny to compare your sideburns too that quickly. Can I try again?

Wolverine: Shoot.

Mystique: Are those sideburns, or did your pubic region take residence up on your cheeks?

Wolverine: That's a little better, but still...pretty lame.

Professor X: C' game?

Magneto: That game insults my intelligence...away with it!

Professor X: C'mon's 11 PM...we've gotta play it now! Before midnight! Get it? Hahahah!

Magneto: You're a fucking weirdo, Charles. I'm leaving.

Professor X: You can't leave, you're in prison! Only I can leave.

Magneto: Fine...I'll play the Gremlins board game....if you do something for me. Read Storm's mind and tell me what she's thinking about.

Professor X: Fine. ::reads:: Hrm. That's weird...looks like the only things on her mind are The Flintstones and Warren Beatty.

Magneto: Fair enough. I get to be Gizmo, you have to be the dirty Gremlins.

Sabretooth: Roar.

See the movie!

- Matt