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A Salute to Alcoholic Wacky Packages Cards
liquorhead - 07/16/00


From 1967 to the late 70s, a cheap and fun source of parody for most kids was the famous WACKY PACKAGES trading cards. Hundreds of beautifully painted stickers were produced that spoofed many products of the day. From Kentucky Fried Fingers, to Spit and Spill Detergent, the irreverant, gory, and often politically incorrect jokes were a favorite for many long before Garbage Pail Kids and their ilk offended the world.

From Coffee, to detergent, to breakfast cereal, no product was safe, but alcohol based products were prime target of parody. Obviously the target audience wasn't drinking yet (save for the depressed children of West Virginia), but that didn't stop the fine folks at Topps from churning out several doozies.

Was this a clever, subliminal secret to get kids to drink, or did it merely point out the evils of alcohol and ward them away? You be the judge!



Think they could get away with illustrating drunk kids nowadays?


Matt takes these every night. Seems like "Alkie-Seltzer" would have been funnier, though


What better to wash the vomit form your carpet after a bender?


Dig that crazy drunk fish


Quite stretch on the "Charmin" pun, but you gotta love a passed out drunk on toilet paper


Wow, a wrestling parody from the 70s! Long before Jake the Snake!


Love that slogan on top of the can


Who would have thought blood would end up being more dangerous than alcohol?


Tapping into the anti-Canadian sentiment long before South Park


If you're confused, this is parodying Gallo


Alcoholics are low-lifes, it's official (damn)


Nothing like getting your granny passed out on booze for laffs


"Know the Joy of Dirty Living"

Finally, candy for alkies

Thanks to Topps for tapping into the universal truth that kids and parents alike have long forgotten. Alcohol is hilarious!

Coming soon, the Wacky Package Cigarette series of cards!

-liquorheaad