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ENTERTAINMENT WEAKLY: Chyna in Playboy, Planet of The Apes, and MORE!
liquorhead - 07/22/00


Publishers are fighting for the rights to Michael J. Fox's memoirs, with bids topping $2 million. Meanwhile, the search is on for someone to play Fox in a Universal Studios produced biopic. Casting agents are looking for an unknown actor who is 5'2" and extremely twitchy.


Courtney Love announces plans to marry Eddie Vedder and fake his suicide

Courtney Love has officialy been removed from the cast of John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars just one week after production started, due to an ankle injury. Though depressed about the unfortunate twist of fate (and ankle), Love is eager to have the chance to take a break from her hectic schedule and shoot up massive amounts of heroin.


A new film about blind superhero Daredevil is in the works

New Regency Pictures has picked up the option to make a film about Daredevil, the blind Marvel superhero, and Mark Steven Johnson who directed Simon Birch is scheduled to take the helm. Too bad Kevin Smith isn't involved, his occasional writing chores on the comic book have been fantastic.


Wrestling star Chyna will appear in Playboy, resulting in an employment boom for the airbrushing industry.

WWF female wrestling amazon Chyna is going to appear fully nude in the November issue of Playboy. No word yet on how much airbrushing will be done, but a source close to the magazine suggests, they'll do just enough to hide her penis.


Planet of the Apes, coming soon to a theater near you!

Tim Burton's remake of Planet of the Apes is blazing along, and is scheduled for a July 4, 2001 release. The film has been tossed around for years with Oliver Stone originally scheduled to direct, and at one point Arnold Schwartzenegger was slated to star. The current confirmed casting puts Mark Wahlberg as the lead astronaut character, and Gary Oldman is rumored to play Dr. Zaius. More exciting to ape fans, should be the news that makeup god Rick Baker is now officialy attached to the film.

With Apes already shooting for a July 4th release, it's going to face stiff competition as Steven Speilberg's AI (a long in the making Stanley Kubrick project), Adam Sandler's The Johnson Five, and John Woo's The Windtalkers (starring Nicolas Cage) also to debut that same week.

HBO is adapting the Stallone/Deniro/Liotta movie Copland into a weekly series.

Roman Polanski has announced plans to film a $35 film about The Holocaust titled The Pianist. When asked what was the driving force behind wanting to make a Holocaust film, Polanski replied, "because I want to win an Oscar."


Christina Aguilera claims she didn't give Eminem a venereal disease...she just let him borrow it for a few weeks

Eminem's "The Marshall Mathers LP" is the number one album for the 8th week in a row. His controversial lyrics have offended many, including singer Christina Aguilera, who is furious at the rapper's claim that she gave him VD in his song "The Real Slim Shady", insisting the only sexually transmitted diseases she's ever had are the clap, crabs, and pubic lice.

Dr. Dre teased a full NWA reunion, bringing back MC Ren, DJ Yella, Ice Cube, and Snoop Dogg (in place of Eazy E) at the end of a recent concert shouting, "NWA...coming soon!" Accoridng to The Holywood Reporter, Dre says "There's a few things written. We all have some ideas; I have a few ideas for tracks. Cube has a few ideas for tracks. We've all sat around already and tried to draw up a few blueprints for songs."


With most of his peers in the rap world, dead or retired, Dr. Dre plans to feud with himself on NWA's reunion album

Meanwhile Dre is suing the city of Detroit for $25 Million for preventing him from showing a video at a concert that depicted nudity and oral sex. When asked to respond, Detroit City Councilman Jimmy Yee said, "We're not prudes, but we just felt that the video "The Olsen Twins Take It Gangsta Style" was going a bit too far."

The Bangles delighted a crowd of 23 at a reunion concert last week in Los Angeles. Meanwhile Duran Duran will be touring again starting today, and is promising the song lineup will be 100% "Union of The Snake" free, or your money back.

Another cool tour to watch will be The Beastie Boys and Rage Against the Machine's "Rhyme and Reason 2000" tour, scheduled to kick off in Toronto on August 2nd.

Sony has announced that their long awaited Playstation 2 (which will still play the old Playstation games as well as DVD) will go on sale in America on October 26th for $299. I plan to sell my old Atari 2600 and Odyssey 2 system at my yard sale on October 15th for $4 if anyone's interested.


The new upcoming GODZILLA 2000 film is taking quite a cut in the special effects budget, as seen in this exclusive photo

With very little hype, Sony Pictures is releasing the Toho Produced (thank god) GODZILLA 2000 later this summer. It'll be nice to see another big budget film featuring the greatest monster of all time done right again.

In the read X-E first department, check out thest quotes from a Pokemon story in today's Reuters Newswire!

Pikachu and his friends may fill some theaters as ``Pokemon The Movie 2000'' opens this weekend, but their ability to attract kids to the nation's toy stores appears to be waning. ``It sounds like Pokemon has had its moment of glory and now it's slowing ... and kids are moving on,'' said Hayley Kissel, an analyst at Merrill Lynch Global Securities. ``When you have a hot product, you never know when it'll flame out. Things flame out faster today because kids have so many other things to turn to.''

Ernest Hemingway was born 101 years ago today. One wonders what he'd be doing if he were still alive today, but most agree he's be scratching at the lid of his coffin and pulling maggots out of his flesh.

-liquorhead