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The Legend Of Zelda Cartoon w/ Special Phantom-Punch Ganon!
Matt - 07/31/00

Back in the days of the Super Mario Super Show, every Friday us Nintendo-cartoon-watching kids would be privy to a 'real treat' - the Legend of Zelda Cartoon! Well, most of us were split. Either we made sure to only watch Nintendo cartoons on Friday when Zelda was on, or we used that day to get ourselves away from the television. Some people liked the show, others hated it.

You've gotta give whoever wrote this some credit though...unlike the Mario cartoon, this one at least had a storyline which wasn't cliched off of the video game's power-ups a hundred percent of the time. It probably would've been held in higher regard had it not had the almighty Zelda title attached to it. Here's why:

1.- Ganon was a real badass in the game. If you could get up to Level 9 in Zelda, somehow get through the underworld castle to fight him, the guy wouldn't even let you look at him for more than three seconds without turning invisible and kicking the shit out of you. That's class. In the cartoon, however, Ganon was more or less a fat pig guy in a ludicrous outfit with an even more ludicrous voice. The only thing he seemed capable of inflicting damage on was our remote controls' mute buttons, since listening to him talk was far more frightening and annoying than getting our video game characters blasted by him.

2.- In the game, it was pretty apparent that Zelda herself was the only person actually in Hyrule. It's pretty strange when you think about're trying to save a world from monsters, even though that world only had one veritable citizen. Course, they also had 4,000 wizards who all looked the same, and an old woman who'd either give you free stuff or take your money, depending on her mood. But in the cartoon, Hyrule was a bubbly town. Unfortunately, it was bubbly and filled with bumbling idiots. That's where we run into a problem. Ganon and he evil forces are trying to take over, and Link and Zelda must stop 'em. But...with Hyrule being filled with so many idiots, it's pretty hard to root for the good guys, since that only means we'd have to endure another episode of them spilling drinks on themselves or not realizing that the friendly albeit pig-faced fruit salesman was really Ganon in disguise.

Now, we've got a cartoon uploaded so you can relive all this for yourself, or see it for the first time. I'm pretty sure this is the first episode of the series. Before we get to the download part, here's the review...

The Legend Of Zelda Cartoon:

Ganon disguises himself as a friendly magician to gain access to a Hyrule contest. After some shenanigans, he manages to sneak off with the Triforce of Wisdom. I have no idea why Ganon actually wants it though...he's always stealing the Triforce and yet it never seems to grant him any extra special power. I guess he had to steal something, and Link's bow or magic ring just didn't sound epic enough.

To chase him down, Zelda hatches a master plan - grow a giant vine and slingshot her and Link into the forest! Brilliant, except for the fact that a fall from that height would've killed any normal person. We're lucky Link and Zelda aren't any normal people. They catch up with Ganon, fight some of those skeleton dudes, and we get our very first instance of this cartoon's...

Amazing Scene Alert! Pay very close attention when your RealPlayer hits the 7-minute mark. After the skeletons get their asses kicked, Ganon tries to tell one of them how to succeed in battle by mimicking punching movements while screaming like a lunatic. That's hysterical enough in itself, but when you add in the zoom-in effect they throw on Ganon while he's phantom-punching, you've got a real winner.

Ganon escapes into the underworld, but Link manages to save the Triforce. Link almost manages to get Zelda to kiss him before Sprite, the little fairy, interferes. This'll be the show's running gag. Link's not saving Hyrule because he likes the people who live there...he just wants a shot at Zelda's tongue. So ends the first episode of Zelda.

To Download: It's a RealPlayer file, 6 MB. Click Here To Download!

All in all, it's not a bad cartoon. Everyone had the game already, and there weren't really any toys to promote, so the creators just went for actual storyline. Course, the storyline kinda sucks, but it's there. Enjoy!

BONUS: The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!

Hey, paisanos! Some of you may have missed this one in Rocket's multimedia section, but we've got an actual episode from this classic ready for download. The cartoon part is cut out, so you stand to watch ten full minutes of Captain Lou Albano and the guy only known as 'schmo who played Luigi' do their best to give real-life credibility to the characters of Super Mario Bros.! In this episode, Luigi's freaking out because WWF wrestler, Rowdy Roddy Piper, is coming to their house to pick up his bagpipe...but lo and behold, Mario had turned it into a vacuum! This one's pretty here to go to the download page!

And oh yeah, click here to hear the show's opening credits!

- Matt
ICQ - 77566397