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ENTERTAINMENT WEAKLY: Aniston and Pitt Married, Spider-Man Cast, Godzilla, and MORE!
liquorhead - 08/04/00

Even diehard fans are uncertain that the new film GODZILLA vs. MECHAWONG will be a success

Lucky Japanese GODZILLA fans were able to take a week long tour of TOHO studios and actually watch the latest Zilla film being produced. GODZILLA 2000 is coming out this summer in America, while GODZILLA vs. MEGAGUIRIUS will be released in Japan next year.

Rule #4 of Fight Club, "Don't tell those other 'Friends' girls that I have a 2-inch dick, okay?"

Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt had an elaborate wedding ceremony earlier this week with many celebrity guests, including Lisa Kudrow, Matthew Perry and other castmembers from FRIENDS. The festivities ended on a morbid note, however, when Kevin Spacey's present of Gwenyth Paltrow's head in a box was opened.

Universal has apparently reached a settlement with Michael Myers for walking away from the planned DIETER film, based on the black turtlenecked character of the same name he created for SNL. Meanwhile Oprah Winfrey has been lobbying for the role, telling her studio audience, "I'm the most famous dieter in the world, that part is MINE!"

Prehistoric Pigtails...On DVD at last!

Cool 70s show LAND OF THE LOST has finally been released on DVD! The 1st volume featuring 4 episodes from the first season is already out, complete with special interviews with the show's creators Sid and Marty Kroft, and the actors who played Chaka and Holly.

Let's hope Hollywood learns to use this Invisible technology on the cast of BIG BROTHER soon.

Kevin Bacon stars in "Hollow-Man" which opens nationwide today. Invisible Rights activists are already decrying the portrayal of the the lead character as insensitive, and plan to picket the movie by the thousdands outside theaters across the country.

Shock the monkey?

Helena Bonham Carter is the latest actor to be cast in the upcoming remake of PLANET OF THE APES, as an ape (Zira?). Michael Clark Duncan who played John Coffey in THE GREEN MILE has also joined the cast. Fellow APES star Mark Wahlberg hinted that there would be a scene where he gets "intimate" with Bonham's character, marking the first time an actor has had inter-species sex since the 1984 cult porno CHEWBACCA LIKES IT HOT.

Now that Anna Kournikova has won her first major tournament (against #2 Ranked Lindsey Davenport), she can focus more on improving her form, like using her racquet instead of her head.

Toby Maguire: New Spider-Man, and Visine Poster Child

Toby Maguire has been cast as the lead in the long long long delayed and awaited SPIDER-MAN film. The movie, which was once attached to James Cameron, will now be directed by EVIL DEAD director Sam Raimi.

Robert Downey, Liquorhead's favorite actor is out of jail! Congratulations! Now get busy on that long awaited WEIRD SCIENCE sequel, would ya?