Then I remember...it's eBay!

Check the other articles on X-E for more of my mischief exploiting eBay's gullible auction browsers.

And here we go!

I know what you're thinking. 'Hey, those aren't magic! Those are just some neat glasses lifted from the Hilton!' Well, more wrong you COULD NOT BE. These glasses are MAGIC...we swear it. Want proof? Let's investigate this delicious drinkware a bit further..

Pineapples - prominently displayed on the glasses, these fruits have been known throughout time for the magic powers. Now, while these of course aren't real pineapples, the symbolism is there. So, right off the bat, you have the Power of the Pineapple.

Frosted Glass - frosted glass was known throughout the middle ages for the unexplainable GOOD LUCK it would bring it's owner. In fact, more recently, Gus Borden on Alabama testifies that the DAY after he bought some frosted glass vases, his hair grew back, he won the lotto, AND he finally found the elusive last episode of M*A*S*H on home video! Pineapple Power and the Luck of Frosted Glass, both on your side.

DOUBLE your wealth. It's true - if you have 50,000.00 in your bank account, you can expect that to JUMP to 100K - for no apparent reason! Need proof? Well - here it is: when we got our hands on this, there was only ONE Pina Colada glass. Out of nowhere, now we have two! It's true!

As you can see from the above pic, these glasses came from some off-planet Hilton resort. The Hilton chain is owned by a coven of witches who dabble into the occult science of 'Glassick', where drinkware is bestowed with unearthly magical powers.

So there you have it. Magic Pina Colada Glasses. Available one time only! BOTH for one bid! Who knows what kind of changes these will make in your life? There's only one way to find out...so get bidding!!!

Oh...what's that? You're still not convinced? Hmmm...I see. Well, while your lack of faith disturbs me, I'm willing to play your little game. So here's what I'll do. The winning bidder of this auction will not only receive the two Magic Pina Colada Glasses....but they'll also receive --

This WILD and ZANY Goosebumps Monster Game! The game is complete - and comes with two magical plastic spiders. If you put one of these spiders into each of your Pina Colada glasses, within 3 weeks you will OWN everything in the universe! Of course, we can't guarantee this...but who can doubt it with all this substancial evidence?

The choice is yours. Either buy the Pina Colada glasses...or continue down this road of bad luck and blues. Seriously though...without Pina Colada glasses...what are you? Just a shell of what you COULD be. Remember that.

Ahem.

Would you, under any circumstances, place a bid for this crap? Didn't think so. How much did I end up getting for it? About 22 dollars.

The world's a twisted place, my friends. Especially for those who spend their time buying plastic spiders and hotel glasses off the internet.

-- Matt
matt@x-entertainment.com
AOL IM: C9C MMM dX