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Poor Anakin Skywalker Gets No Respect. What's Wrong With You People? Presented by Matt on 04/13/00 As a Star Wars fan, I'm also a Star Wars loyalist. Lucas can do me no wrong. He can turn Return of the Jedi into the Muppet Movie, he can stick Jar Jar Binks into even the most surreal of scenes. I will always justify it. But some fans are having trouble swallowing one thing...the acting skills of Jake Lloyd. Llyod, the kid who plated Anakin, was met with severe critical lashings from Star Wars fans worldwide for his so-called 'subpar' performance. Bah. Llyod was the perfect choice, and as what I'm about to show you clearly illustrates, the situation could've been far worse. What if that kid from the Sixth Sense played the role of Anakin, hmmm?  Mom: Ani, please, tell me what's wrong. Anakin: I can't. Mom: But can't you see you must? Please Ani... Anakin: Okay... Mom...I see...people. Mom: People? What kind of people do you see, Anakin? Anakin: Weird people. Disfigured people. Strange people... Mom: Ani, how many times must we go through this? We're on Tatoonie for Christ's sake! There's weird people all over the place! -----  Qui-Gon: Anakin, meet Obi-Wan Kenobi. Anakin: Are you dead?  Obi-Wan: Excuse me? Anakin: Dead, are you dead? Obi-Wan: Well most certainly not! Why, it was just the other day when--  Anakin: Don't look at me like that. Obi-Wan: What? Anakin: I don't like it when people look at me like that. Obi-Wan: But I uhh...ummm... Anakin: STUTTERING OBI, STUTTERING OBI, STUTTERING OBI! ----  Yoda: Anakin, glad to see you, I am. Test you now, we will. Hold up an image plate, we will. You tell us what you think is on the plate. Yoda: Okay Anakin, what do you see?  Anakin: I see dead people. Yoda: Mmmmhhmmmm. Most intriguing. Let's try this again. Now what do you see? Anakin: I see dead people. Yoda: Mmmmhmmmmm! Yoda: Mmmmmhmhmm! Mhhhhmmhmmmm!  Mace: Okay Anakin, now what do you see? Anakin: I see dead people. Mace: Okay, pack it up. This is going nowhere. Yoda: Pack up not. Try once more, we will. Anakin, what see you now? Anakin: I see---  Obi-Wan: SAY IT ONE MORE TIME! I FUCKING DARE YOU!!! -----  Queen Amidala: I will not condone a course of plotline that leads me to fuck this little psycho. Yeah, so...uh...stop picking on Jake Lloyd. It could've been worse. -- Matt
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