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Survive Gator Attacks, Quicksand, and Bridge Jumps!
Robert Berry - 11/20/00


What's this... a BOOK REVIEW on X-E? Well before you think I'm going to get all literate on you, fear not, cause THE WORST-CASE SCENARIO by Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht has none of the trappings of most books. Yep, no Judy Blume idiocies or Twainesque plots here, just good old fashioned know-how on how to hot-wire a car and fight a shark.

This yellow vinyl-covered instant classic is chock full of some of the coolest information you'll never use. From surviving quicksand, to how to correctly jump from a moving motorcycle into a car, it's the kind of book Magyver likely kept in his backpocket.

Here's a few excerpts from the book that might come in handy for the average X-E reader:

KICKING IN DOORS They're very sturdy, try a good blow right about where the deadbolt would be for the best bang for your buck

SHARK ATTACKS A punch to the eyes and/or gills might actually send them scrambling


If you flash a mountain lion, you'll look bigger and he'll think twice about attacking you. If you look manly enough, you might even get a date.

QUICKSAND It's actually easier to float in quicksand than water, just relax on your back and slowly tread to the shore, while enjoying the mud's theraputic effects


A gator can barely open his mouth if you hold it shut.

FINDING MAILBOMBS Always be suspiscious of packages wrapped in string, or excess postage on small packages (a sign that it may have just been dropped in a mailbox)

AVALANCHE Swim in a freestyle fashion with the deadly wall of snow, if you let it bury you, you'll likely die

GUNFIRE Never run away in a straight line, the average shooter won't have the skill to make a bead on you


Always hold the throttle down to the last possible instant when jumping from a motorcycle to a car.

KILLER BEES Try to get indoors, if you jump in the water, they'll likely just be waiting for you when you surface

A PUNCH TO THE HEAD Tighten your jaw and lean into the punch, rolling with it just makes your head snap back faster and increases the potential of brain damage

JUMPING FROM A BRIDGE Clench your buttocks before entering the water, as an unexpected enema may result

And there's tons more great information as well! It's not likely you'll ever have to use this information, but I guarantee you'll have a lot of fun reading about it, anyway.

-Robert