 Ring holds brave plastic Red fist blue fist red fist blue Smacking heads to sky  SCARY BREAKFAST Boo-Berry Count Chocula Frankenberry Is your memory good enough to handle Yummy Mummy or Fruite Brute the Werewolf? Sugar coated demons from childhood leave milk-stained pentagrams that call to me with animated television spells, possessing me with plastic totems left in the bottom of the box. Spoons click and clank against unholy bowls So unhealthy Buy the box, Drink the sweet blue Boo Berry milk I'm ready for another bowl  UNDER THE MUDDY BOWLING BALL When I was a kid I learned about black people from watching Good Time, Fat Albert, and What's Happenin'. Luckily I ended up living around many types of people to give me the real experience. I ate a lot of Frankenberry, Smurf Berry Crunch, and Donkey Kong Cereal -- but only at friends' houses 'cause my mom would always by me Cheerios becuase they were healthier. And not even real Cheerios, but the generic brand, at that. I had a Fonzie doll with moveable thumbs and a cool simulated leather jacket. But I later got Planet of the Apes dolls, and thought they were cooler. One day I brought Fonzie to Bill's house and we smashed him up with golf clubs and buried him in a big hole with an old bowling ball on top. When I was a kid my mom made me a house out of cardboard boxes for my Evel Knievel doll and The Bionic Man to share.  When I was a kid I got my first hrad on from a Farrah Fawcett-Majors potser. You know, the one with the one piece red bathing suit and the nipple that stuck out, and that smile that was too sexy for a seven year old boy to understand (or a 30 year old who still remembers it). When I was a kid, I wouldn't trade my friends for anything. But now that I'm older I'd be willing to negotiate for MOC Dr. Zaius, or at least a map showing the exact location that Fonzie still lies buried. Underneath the muddy bowling ball. INFANTICIDE Why does your brain freeze after sucking Slurpees too fast? What's the secret ingredient in Captain Crunch that rips the roof of your mouth to shreds? Why can't you bite down hard on Jolly Rancer candy without getting lockjaw? Why are there so few potato chips in bags that look so big? These are the mysteries of childhood, that once solved...destroy it.
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