The mass merchandising blitz for Star Wars: Attack of the Clones has arrived, and I couldn't be happier. I don't care if it's all about money, it's still totally great and gloriously surreal to manage to see something with a Star Wars logo on it in the middle of the cat food aisle of a grocery store. It's terrific for a whole lot of us, for different reasons:

1) I think that anyone who truly, truly loves something likes to see other people share their interests. It's not like when you're in high school and you discover this obscure band and then yell at everyone else who likes it because you found it first, and thus, they must be phony posers who wear Converses cause chicks dig 'em. I think if you really love something, you want other people to get into it. So, seeing all this new stuff out there makes me feel a little fuzzy - a whole new generation of kids, and probably some lonely adults, will fall right into the obsession that's brought me so muc personal joy. Bandwagoners? Whatever. I'm just glad that there's now more than a h3% chance that the guy next to me on the train knows what an Ithorian is.

2) For people like me, who never let go of Star Wars lore, it's a lot easier for us to go about our nerdy business without being called geeks. When the fad's in a down stage, we just look like tools. But now, if someone makes fun of me, I can just say 'Hey man - look over there. Star Wars Fruit Rolls.' If the movie has it's own special brand of fruit snacks, there must be a whole lot of us geeks out there.

3) The biggest and best reason: Christopher Lee is now a full-fledged member of the elite personalities to grace a cereal box. Now this is CHRISTOPHER LEE, folks. It's not the guy from Blue's Clues or Bart Simpson. It's a guy who probably spends his free time fitting people onto torture racks, or spitting green Hell flames.

Star Wars Episode II Clone Crunch brings fantasy back to the breakfast table, boasting 8 essential vitamins and minerals, lots of kooky marshmallows, and a devout promise to remain cholesterol-free. The box is hilariously tiny compared to usual cereal fare, so I'm assuming everyone involved realized this is more of a novelty than a great new foodstuff. It sucks cause, if you're a diehard SW fan, you really can't avoid buying it. It's too criminal. I went in and out of the grocery store for the past two weeks putting off the inevitable, trying to convince myself that I was above this sort of stupid impulse buying. Obviously, I wasn't. I can lie and say that they were out of Count Chocula, but sometimes the truth is cleansing...so I admit it.

I'm a stupid geeky loser Star Wars fan who couldn't sleep at night knowing there was, in limited quantity, Star Wars cereal resting comfortable on a supermarket shelf, just waiting for a good home.