If you've gone through the X-E archives, you've probably seen my 'eBay cases', where I prove to the world the sheer stupidity of some of eBay's bidders. It's a world where you can call your empty bottle of Coca Cola a 'collectible' and cash in on it.
I've shown you how I could take an action figure not worth .20 cents, write a story about him, and make 20 bucks off him. I've showed you a giant plastic peanut defy all logic in retail sale. But nothing on Earth can prepare you for what I'm about to show you - the pinnacle, the ultimate...the biggest mockery of retailing you've ever seen in your life, period.
This was I guess about 14 or 15 months ago or so. At that point, eBay was already putting enough money in my pocket to warrant calling it a full time job, and I had a few tastes of the beauty of 'eBay marketing', where your item description sold your stuff more than the item itself.
I became obsessed with the idea that some of the people on eBay would buy anything. My mind reeled, looking around the house for the stupidest item I could find to hock. I was drawing a blank. Finally, it hit me. I was limiting myself. Why just search the house, when I had a full backyard to look through?
Now, unfortunately, I no longer have the hard copy of the ad I used saved. But I've got the pictures, which we'll get to in a moment. My stroke of genius was geared towards the metaphyiscal addicts on eBay. I noticed people selling 'good luck incense' and 'charmed bracelets', and figured this was my time to exploit them. I considered it poetic justice, having bought into those good luck Troll dolls several years prior.
So I got some dirt, rocks, and twigs from my backyard, and came up with this: The Infinity Fortuna Spellkit!
Looks pretty, doesn't it? Doesn't it just look magical? Well, apparently some bidders thought so. This trashpile from my backyard fetched 25 bucks. Let's examine it a little bit closer....
Firstly, you need to understand that what you see above is not what you actually get. I made it very clear in the ad that what you were getting were the rocks and sticks in a glass jar, with 'magical directions' to help you use the kit. All those accessories above were merely for show. But apparently they worked wonders.
At this point, anyone with half a brain would realize that bullshit was pouring from my mouth like water from a faucet. Yet, the bidding was fast and furious. People were e-mailing me after the auction was over to see if I had more kits. I could've easily gotten more dirt and put it into a jar, but I was so proud of my evil accomplishment that I took a two week vacation. By the time I got back, the other bidders were so involved in chain letter schemes that they had no interest in my silly 'spellkit'.
So what did the lucky bidder actually recieve? A little glass jar with a plastic lid filled with grass, dirt, rocks, and some shredded money. To make matters even worse, I poured cinnamon oil in the jar, causing the kit to smell worse than a room full of 80 year old grandmothers.
This was by far my greatest eBay accomplishment. Getting someone to literally pay for dirt. What's worse, I charged 5.00 for shipping! This guy spent THIRTY dollars on a glass jar of my backyard dirt saturated in cinnamon oil! Whoooo!
The point? You can make a living on eBay if you really tried. I've already had some people e-mail me after my past eBay cases to tell me that they've tried selling on eBay, and it works. You don't have to be this devious - there's a lot of legit things you can sell. The best way to view eBay is as a giant flea market, where your sales are only as good as your presentation. Write up a silly story or description, and cash in!
Go check out the X-E Archives Pages for more fabulous fun with eBay.