As if the parades don't tell you enough about the particular year they happened during, their sponsors finish the job by presenting all of the toys and gadgets we were hot for, all of the junk food that was then currently making us fat, and perhaps most importantly, what time A Different World was on. Here's two pages of the best commercials that aired during '87 parade...


Macy's Snoopy Doll:
Every year, Macy's unveils some new Christmas doll based on a timeless and/or white hot children's character. I think Grover got the nod for this season, wearing red earmuffs and a holiday smile. In 1987, it was Snoopy, all decked out in his winter wear. The ad does its business, but the most interesting bit is the completely original animation used in the spot. The Chex Mix version of Charlie Brown had a slightly different feel to it, but this Snoopy is straight out of the Christmas special. Except for the snow hat part. I still have the doll from back then -- it's indeed nice, definitely not the kind of thing you'd win for catapulting a rubber frog into a plastic lily pad. The stains strewn about its faux fur are very indicative of which soups I liked best.

Click here to watch this commercial! (.WMV format)


NBC Thanksgiving Night TV:
If you dish it we can take it, just remember, you been told. It's a Different World. IT'S A DIFFRAAAAN WORLD. It's a Diff'rint World. IT'S A DIFFFFRA - FROM WAH YAH CUNN FROM. Mmm mmm hmm! FROM WAH YAH CUNNIN FRA!

Click here to watch this commercial! (.WMV format)


Snuggle Fabric Softener:
It really pains me to say this, but if given the chance to snag a real life Gizmo or a real life Snuggle Bear, I'd go with the latter and defend my decision to the grave. Generally speaking, kids of both sexes would be intrigued by small, talking bears, even ones that weren't afforded 5,000 tweak sessions, growing cuter and cuter with each. Snuggle Bear would make a perfect pet -- the kind of animal who wasn't only toilet trained, but trained to also check the Glade Plug-Ins for any need of a refill whenever he finished in there. I can think of no other bear I'd pay money to sit around with, playing cards and trying to throw Goldfish crackers into the other's mouth.

Click here to watch this commercial! (.WMV format)


Tyco Racin' Hoppers:
Whole lotta toy car commercials in '87. I never noticed it at the time. Racin' Hoppers consisted of two small race cars and the standard plastic race track, with paper rock obstacles, hills, a few minor jumps and the like. The unique bit was that the race cars were patterned after radio control cars, stockily built and able to do all sorts of spit-take inducing sharp turns. Even at my young age in 1987, I'd already created an impressive string of bad luck with toy racing sets. Eventually I gave up, and by the time Racin' Hoppers hit the shelves, I didn't even notice. SWEAR.

Click here to watch this commercial! (.WMV format)


Cabbage Patch Kids Talking Kids:
By 1987, Coleco's legendary collection of Cabbage Patch Kids dolls had already seen plenty of time as the stars of the toy stores. They had to do some reinventing, and one of the more upscale revamps came in the form of CPK Talking Kids -- battery-operated dolls who vaguely chomped as kind words poured forth from their ass speakers. Incredibly, the one piece of futuristic intelligence built into each doll was the ability to tell when they were...upside down. Yes, hold one of these darlings from their feet, and they'll tell you how much they enjoy being upside down. I'll bet.

Click here to watch this commercial! (.WMV format)


Atari XE Home Computer System:
I can't say I know much about the Atari XE, putting to bed years of rumors that this site is in fact named after it. The commercial uses an interesting approach -- a direct comparison between the Atari XE and the Nintendo Entertainment System, as a kid samples the wares from both companies. It was supposed to show how much more powerful and diverse the Atari XE was, and whether that's true or not, Atari does more to advertise its competition. Regardless of what the announcer guy was saying (and he wasn't saying anything particularly critical -- just saying it in a critical tone), the Nintendo stuff looked cooler, crisper and way less complicated. Atari's would-be achiever quickly fell from grace, sold in bargain bins alongside Monopoly Playmasters for the insulting price of 9.99.

Click here to watch this commercial! (.WMV format)


Diet Coke, Starring Pierce Something Guy Man:
The more squarish cans seen in this commercial are seldom used by any beverage company nowadays, because they cause cancer.

Click here to watch this commercial! (.WMV format)


McDonald's Breakfast Commercial:
In the wake of obesity awareness and look-at-me documentaries and Subway Jared, McDonald's really had to change the way they featured their menu during ad campaigns. I'm not saying they don't show you the food up close anymore, but the shots seem to have grown more artsy and inedible. Older commercials filmed the food as if it were an endless supply of nude porn stars in mid-thrust. This ad, displaying many of McD's famous breakfast sandwiches, shows eight kinds of meat sizzling in their own fatty juices and zooms so far into the eggs that the screen temporarily blinds you, was a guaranteed way to make people hungry. Even vegetarians who hated McDonald's could not possibly resist the angled shot of bacon portions popping from lard heat.

Click here to watch this commercial! (.WMV format)


Tyco Turbo Hoppers:
Completing the circle, here's some of Tyco's real radio control cars, unmarried to a plastic track and completely able to endure life outdoors. Much in the same way I had bad luck with the track sets, my mastery over the fine art of radio controlling was also lacking. I had a couple of these throughout childhood, but the one I wanted most was a simple, sleek radio control red Corvette. I got it, and literally within half a minute of giving it a test run, I drove the thing into a deep puddle and ruined it forever. To this day, the sight of a Corvette makes my leg fall off.

Click here to watch this commercial! (.WMV format)


McDonald's: Daddy's Little Girl:
This McDonald's commercial sought to make the restaurant chain the core and center of everything important in life, where all of our finest family moments, social successes and all around great times could have a backdrop and a connecting factor. Here we have Daddy chauffeuring his daughter and some friends to McDonald's (they're on the hunt for hotties, and I DON'T MEAN FRIES), but as he attempts to enter with 'em, Gracious Daughter demands that he either wait in the car or go through the drive-thru and eat in the car. This is touching because his daughter is being a bitch.

Click here to watch this commercial! (.WMV format)

A bunch more on the next and final page of this should've-been-posted-two-weeks-ago spectacular. Read on...


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