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05/02/2003 Entry: "X-Men: Baskin Robbins' X2 Ice Cream!"


X2's mutant hype machine is resulting in some pretty hysterical cross-promotions, but nothing's as amusing as the new ice cream flavors at Baskin Robbins. For the next few weeks, the sugary franchise breaks the mold with X-Men inspired flavors in colors you've previously only dreamed of eating. The chief new entry is 'Wolverine's Berry Rampage Sundae,' a beastly scoup of blue heaven topped with whipped cream, 'Nerds,' and two godforsaken sour straw candies. And oh yeah - strawberries! I've yet to taste this unparalleled display of sweetness, but it looks like the sort of thing that'd really get me in the mood to play in a ball pit for sixty-seven hours straight. Click here for a pic.

Ice cream parlors fell from grace around here in favor of the much more chic and caffeinated coffee shops, but our local mall still played home to the one last Baskin Robbins within thirty miles. Once I heard that I'd see posters of Halle Berry in a white wig holding up radioactive ice cream cones, I knew it was my personal duty to rush there and snap as many pictures as I could before one of the employees tacked up a handmade 'No Pictures!' sign just to end all the unnerving camera flashes. The mission wasn't a total success, but I got what I came for.

Sadly, this Baskin Robbins didn't have all of the X2 ice cream varieties available, insisting that the rest were 'coming soon.' We asked how soon. 'Very soon.' We asked for an exact date, in case the proximity was attractive enough to where I would've held off posting this until I had photographic evidence of all the flavors. 'We really can't say.' It was like they were putting all their self-worth into making sure I thought they were keeping it a secret. They didn't want to admit their ignorance to the release dates, opting to play Cryptic Creamers for five minutes while we kept getting screwy answers in some kind of alternate universe Laurel & Hardy skit. The young woman handling our order, growing more nervous with each passing glance of my accursed camera, tried to rush us in and out of her life like a pesky mosquito or secret assgas. Three doors down, somebody complained about the food court's poor Japanese cuisine selections. Off in the distance, an old lady labored over the decision of what coffee carafe to buy as a wedding present for someone who had already tied the knot fifteen years prior. Old ladies are senile.

They only had one of the new extreme X-Men flavors: 'Oreo X-Mint.' Described as 'dark chocolate ice cream infused with chunky Oreo cookies and a swirl of Blue Mint ice cream.' Vanilla never seemed so...vanilla. With my curiosity piqued, we ordered some of Cyclops' sweets and hoped for the best. I have to admit, I was a little skeptical about the impending taste even despite all the bold adjectives. It's not that I didn't have faith in Baskin Robbins, but one look at the flavor of the month's homebase barrel had me at least a little concerned...

In my head, things were going on. Terrible things. From afar, this certainly didn't look like a winner. My brain was blasting dueling symphonies from Jaws and Phantom of the Opera, and I was hoping the concert wouldn't climax with Psycho's shower music once the shit hit my tongue. Like any good reporter would, I swallowed my inhibitions. Soon, I would swallow Oreo X-Mint ice cream as well. I was swallowing all over the place.

In went her arm, out came the scoops. We had ordered a X-Mint cone and a X-Mint cup, hoping to get the full photographic effect with the additional upside of having extra ice cream. I felt my order was direct and concise enough - 'can we have a X-Mint cone, and a X-Mint cup?' Simple words for a simple request. Here's what the hostess handed back, and no, I'm not kidding:

Yes, she somehow took my order to mean that I was requesting an ice cream cone, half-filled, turned upside down and mashed into half a cup of X-Mint ice cream. True, some people may actually order it in this way, but I'd made no such demands. Puzzled, I tried to just get past the goof up and make the best of my mutant ice cream sundae. Once the other customers started looking at the woman in the same way one would look at a lion if it coughed up a half-digested guitar and started playing it, I felt I had to say something. 'Miss, I meant we wanted one ice cream cone and one cup.' My less vocal innerself tacked 'fucktard' to the end of the correction. She quickly rectified the situation, presenting us with the right order and a level of embarrassment substantial enough to turn her cheeks bright fuchsia before exploding outright.

Well, it's certainly blue. Actually, it's more blue than anything else. Very, very blue. The outer rim is covered with a darker chocolate, and yes, bits of Oreos stagnate within the mass - sort of like flies trapped in Jurassic Park amber, only more edible. Unfortunately, I can't rail on the taste. It's essentially mint chocolate chip, a flavor that can do no wrong, dyed in a different hue. A blue hue. BLUE.

That said, it ain't the prettiest cream you'll ever munch on. Looks more like a Smurf corpse topped with diarrhea than anything having to do with Marvel Comics. It also seems to melt much quicker than any other flavor Baskin Robbins puts out, but admittedly, the mall was unusually hot last night. Aside from the odd appearance and mega melting ability, I've gotta give this promotion an A+. Obviously, X2 doesn't need any further plugging at this point, but just hearing that they're a big enough entity to warrant their own ice cream flavors is enough to sell you on the legend's worth. I'll be seeing the flick tonight, presumably amidst a horde of moviegoers wearing red sunglasses and claws made from tin foil.

There's a few other X2 flavors, too. The 'Chocolate Vertex Sundae' is pretty standard - just a pile of teethrot with a cherry on top. 'X-Treme Berry Sherbet' is a tad riskier, combining blue raspberry sherbet with WHITE raspberry sherbet. Two raspberry sherbets. One cone. That's a mutant, baby. Get 'em while the movie's still hot -- something tells me these won't be recurring flavors.

More Mixed-Up Marvel Promotions: The Incredible Hulk's Incredible Hands - Hulk's Flavor-Ice - The Secret Wars Sticker Book

REPLIES: 116 comments


Ooo ooo I'll take a double scoop of the ice queen !

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 05/02/2003 01:11 PM EST


Matt, did you actually eat this goop? And that article just proves to me how honestly stupid some salespeople are at food places. I had the same problem when I ordered from McDonald's the other day: one fish sandwich and one small fry...simple right? They couldn't comprehend the fact that I did NOT want the combo meal and NO soda!! Bastards...Anyway, great article and my sister and I who are both big fans of your site agree that the pictures you include with the stories are possibly the best part. :) Take care!! Melissa (resident Tim Curry fan..)

Chestnuts roasted by Melissa Y. @ 05/02/2003 01:47 PM EST


Anybody else remember Garfield ice cream? Orange with black stripes?

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 05/02/2003 01:53 PM EST


once i made a drink in the blender and used a lot of blue food colouring

my crap looked like that the next morning

Chestnuts roasted by cuggy @ 05/02/2003 01:54 PM EST


I hope that the pop-up ads by powerade/the matrix don't catch on. Though cool at first, they became greatly annoying after the 4th page of the toy catalog... I blame UGO, not the site.

Chestnuts roasted by Jumpin' Jesus @ 05/02/2003 02:02 PM EST


While we're talking about fast food blunders, here's a transcribe of a recent trip to my local Wendy's.

(Mr. Mr. Mr. walks up to the counter. He waits. He waits. He waits. The lady behind the counter, a 17-year old women, sits there, gossiping with her friend.)

Counter-girl: And so then I said...
Other girl: Uh huh.
Counter-girl: That, you know...
Other girl: Yeah.
Counter-girl: So then...

Triple Mr: Um, excuse me.
Counter-girl: Then she said...
Triple Mr: EXCUSE ME!
Counter-girl: Um, yeah.
Triple Mr: I'm ready to order.
Counter-girl: Well, I was waiting for you.
Triple Mr: No you weren't. You were gossiping.
Counter-girl: Well, shut up. What do you want?
Triple Mr: A #3, please.
Counter-girl: Yeah, sure. (into mic) A #3 for this jerk.
Triple Mr: ...
Counter-girl: That'll be $4.75.

(Mr. Mr. Mr. waits for his order. Counter-girl lights up a smoke. Order's put on the counter. Mr. Mr. Mr. takes it.)

Counter-girl: See ya, siiiiiir.

For those who care, I complained to the manager. That girl's now unemployed.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 05/02/2003 02:05 PM EST


I will also be going to the movie tonight, but now the phrase "Smurf corpse topped with diarrhea" will be clanging around in my head, too. Thanks Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Kookie @ 05/02/2003 02:18 PM EST


i want some ice-cream. i want some tobacco-flavored ice cream.

Chestnuts roasted by david palmer, the troll that fights for YOU! @ 05/02/2003 02:18 PM EST


AHHH! I had the x-treme berry ice cream the other day (it was free scoop night). Its got a refreshing blueberry kind of thing going on with it. I'm not a big fan of any products that are refreshing, so, blah, whatever. I'd give it 2 thumbs pointing sideways.

Chestnuts roasted by kenenf @ 05/02/2003 02:22 PM EST


sorry to double post, but this is a news flash of the most urgent kind...mcdonalds has MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE in their happy meals! They've got Bratz too...but...you know...masters of the universe...bratz...whatever tickles your pickle. Go get a happy meal!

Chestnuts roasted by kennef @ 05/02/2003 02:26 PM EST


The sundae itself sounds delicious but COME ON, "Wolverine's Berry Rampage Sundae"... I don't know how can leave a Baskin Robbins with that and not feel like I made a total ass of myself for requesting it... At least I can tell my children some day that I once ate a sundae with the craziest name ever.

Chestnuts roasted by Rewolf J @ 05/02/2003 02:36 PM EST


Hey, one time I went to a ice cream place and I said that I couldn't decide what I wanted, a cup or a cone, so the dude fixes me a cup and puts an upside down cone on it. Pretty cool.

Chestnuts roasted by Nicole @ 05/02/2003 02:37 PM EST


The cup-cone combo thing is actually requested a lot by parents of little messy ones, I think. That way the kid gets to eat the cone pointy end first like he was going to anyway, without releasing the flood gates of smurf corpse all over the floor.

Chestnuts roasted by it's more convenient @ 05/02/2003 03:25 PM EST


I'd be interested to know how many people are interested in X-Men because they've been comic book fans forever, versus us newbies. I never read any comics as a kid, so it's all new to me. I just thought the first movie was so awesome that I'm looking forward to X-2 as much as I am the next Star Wars (and that's a sad state of affairs, George). Anyone else?

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 05/02/2003 03:29 PM EST


I remember when Calgary (Canada) hosted the Olympics, we also got to play host ot a couple of Chinese pandas on loan. To celebrate, a company created Panda Ice Cream Logs (log being the stupidest name for an ice cream treat EVER).

You had to slice off cross-sections of the log and then you'd get to eat a cute panda face. The stuff tasted like licorice-laced crap. But I did learn that a melty panda face is scary. And that pandas taste sweet. Who knew bamboo was a sweetener?

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 05/02/2003 03:41 PM EST


I myself am a newbie as well. All I can tell you is that some of the finer points of the first movie confused me. I have been avidly watching the cartoon on Cartoon Network ever since and bugging my boyfriend to explain to me everyone's powers and subplots so when I see the movie this w/e, I can at least fake knowledge. Because faking it is what we gals do best. ;-)

And as for Star Wars...my new plan is to avoid thinking of the next installment. I figure, if I go in this time knowing it's going to suck, I won't be nearly as disappointed as with the last two...Ah, George, what have you done?

Chestnuts roasted by purplegirl247 @ 05/02/2003 03:45 PM EST


maybe george is just trying to make us all appreciate the original triology and quit bugging him for more sequels and prequels and such. "Be careful what you wish for, you just might (unfortunately) get it"

Chestnuts roasted by kennef @ 05/02/2003 03:51 PM EST


MOTU Happy Meals!

Chestnuts roasted by x-bane @ 05/02/2003 05:05 PM EST


Maybe it's just me, but Wolverine's Berry Rampage Sundae although sounding tasty, looks like crap.

I mean, don't get me wrong, Wolverine is awesome and everything, but do you think he would honestly want to be associated with sour straws? I'm guessing not.

He'd probably want to be more associated with metal spoons that had the end filed down so it would be like one of his claws. Then you could tape them to your hand. Then you could be Wolverine!

Chestnuts roasted by Buhhhrito @ 05/02/2003 05:10 PM EST


Curse Free TV
http://64.65.23.198/cursefreetv/cftv_display.htm
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3021518528&category=3320
TVGuardian
http://www.tvguardian-online.com/how.html
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3021798888&category=39803

Chestnuts roasted by Black Jesus @ 05/02/2003 05:10 PM EST


haha, you always have that ability to make any food look like it's toxic. you should make the adverts for fast food companies to show what you're actually being served

Chestnuts roasted by kev @ 05/02/2003 05:51 PM EST


Don't you always love how great and appetizing the product looksin pictures? Then the disappointment you get to feel when you realize you got tricked into buying crap again?

That aside, I'm going to see X2 in a few hours, and hopefully the movie will not resemble that "crap with a few bright blue spots" in any way...

xoxox Sara <3

Chestnuts roasted by Sara @ 05/02/2003 05:55 PM EST


I saw X-Men 2 last night at midnight. Made the first one look like a teaser trailer. We finally get a REAL Wolverine and The intro was just flat out amazing. Luckily, I saw it with a bunch of comic dorks like myself, so there was not a lot of whispered questions in the theater. I've never watched a movie that got so much applause after scenes. Singer threw in a lot more in-jokes and cameos this time around as well.

Hell of a movie, better than the first.

Chestnuts roasted by Ronnie Pruitt @ 05/02/2003 05:58 PM EST


"Smurf corpse topped with diarrhea"....god I love Matt's descriptions.

Anyways, as far as the whole "X-perienced vs newbie" x-men thing (I made a funny!), I've been reading the comics religiously for 10 years, and I think they've done an outstanding job with the first movie, and X-pecting the same from the second. Alot of fans have criticized the fact that there are minor differences between the plots of the movie and the comics, and that newbies have taken a liking to the franchise they've loved so long.

Well, for starters, the plot differences are important to helping make the storyline more accessible to those of us who haven't been following the comics. As for the newbies liking X-Men, I say more power to them! It's the mass ticket sales to all the newbies that helped get X2 made in the first place. So please, everyone, go see X2 so that this x-fan can someday see an X3. :)

As for dumb fast-food workers, I once went to McDonald's and ordered a cheeseburger. Simple enough, right? WRONG! Little Ms. I-don't-know-my-ass-from-my-face behind the counter hands me a burger with all the ingredients...except the fucking meat! Needless to say, I whined about it and got my free apple pie. Sometimes I wish fast food places would mess up my order more often.

iceman801@yahoo.com

Chestnuts roasted by Psychic Lemur @ 05/02/2003 06:10 PM EST


I watched an shortened version of Episode II on an Imax screen. Having already seen it, I wasn't expecting much but to be impressed by the whiz-bang effects. Truth be told, on a 25-foot screen the effects actually look cheesier and more obviously CGI, rather than the seamless blending other movies are getting great at. I did notice one interesting thing that is hard to miss on a screen that big. In the first half of the movie, there is a big mole on Anakin's chin that is obviously being hidden with makeup. Halfway through, the makeup lady gave up and he has a big black mole under his lip. Continuity, anyone?
Remember those Yak-Back recorders? You could records a few different clips of your friends making fart sounds to play at opportune moments? Well, after seeing Episode II again, I realized that they could have replaced Ewan McGregor with one that said "Be mindful of your feelings" "You are not yet a Jedi" and "Use the force" and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. What a waste of a great actor and the greatest character.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 05/02/2003 06:11 PM EST


great article a riot as always, I'm a very big fan of your site but in defense of the bimbo that handed u the diarrhea that maybe she was spiting u by handing u such an abomination or maybe she was simply retarted,just a thought.

Chestnuts roasted by papadrino @ 05/02/2003 06:50 PM EST


Actually, there's a Baskin Robbin's in Manhattan, too. Right on 23rd and 1st. I live a couple blocks away. Haven't checked to see if all the X2 flavors are there, but once the rain lets up, I just might run down there...

Chestnuts roasted by CashMan @ 05/02/2003 07:11 PM EST


If you want to see the MOTU McDonalds toys click the link below.

http://mcdonalds.com/countries/usa/whatsnew/happy_meal/index.html

Chestnuts roasted by Patrick N @ 05/02/2003 07:23 PM EST


Reminds me of the superman icecream the kmart ice cream icey thingy used to sell.. man that crap tasted like... crap...

Chestnuts roasted by Casket @ 05/02/2003 07:24 PM EST


McDonald's He-Man Happy Meal article coming Monday. =D

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/02/2003 07:25 PM EST


I would have found it more amusing if I didn't have at least five examples of horrible, horrible flash animation banner adds floating around my subconcious from the toys r' us article.

EAT TARZAN HIT AND WIN LASER POINTER!!!!

I DO NOT WANT A LASER POINTER! @#_#@_#*@)*(#@*()

On the other hand, could they have worked on making the icecream look less like, errm... poo?

Chestnuts roasted by Redford @ 05/02/2003 07:27 PM EST


Softer ice creams are generally that way because they have more sugar in them, it changes the general melting temp of the flavor. I'm guessing with something aimed at the kiddies like this, it's got more than it's share of sugar.

Chestnuts roasted by brian @ 05/02/2003 07:30 PM EST


X2 is going to suck total donkey ballz!!!! If you really want to see a kick ass movie with killer special effects and a wicked good plot go see the Lizzie McGuire Movie! It RULES!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by lonewolf1313 @ 05/02/2003 08:29 PM EST


More importantly, MossMan is back!

http://www.mastersoftheuniverse.com/us/mossman.aspx

Via 3 UPCs and 5 dollars. Sadly I'll pass as I feel this new He-man sucks worse than the 2nd HeMan re-launch.

Chestnuts roasted by Squid @ 05/02/2003 09:16 PM EST


My sister and I saw X2 this afternoon/evening. Showed in four theaters, filled to capacity a half hour before the show. Nightcrawler ROCKED! There is definitely going to be another sequel.

Unfortunately, we did not go to Baskin Robbins to try their Smurf corpse/diarhea combo as there were no B-R's to be found near the theater. There used to be a frozen yogurt place near there, but now it's a beauty supply store for businesses. There is a TGIFriday's there, but we didn't eat there either.

I never get taken out to eat anymore. :(

Chestnuts roasted by Go Knock Jimmy Down @ 05/02/2003 09:50 PM EST


If someone hasn't gone to see X2 yet...

OH...MY...GOD...

I almost had an orgasm watching it, and i was only watching the movie...

Wolverine, Nightcrawler and Magneto KICKED SOME F'ING ASS!!!

Colossus was pretty cool, even though he only had a Cameo and so was Shadowcat.

The Magneto escape scene, you just gotta see it, DAMN.

Great GREAT movie, i really don't see how someone wouldn't like this movie, so i really don't know what lonewolf is smoking, but it must be some expensive shit.

Anyway, believe me, you just gotta see it, i just saw the movie tonight for the THIRD TIME and i NEVER watch a movie at the theaters more than once.

Chestnuts roasted by Lolo @ 05/02/2003 11:08 PM EST


In real life, if you are a mutant, you either have 6 toes or are half blind. On the comics you get superpowers. Go figure.

Chestnuts roasted by Adolfo @ 05/02/2003 11:49 PM EST


Actually, if you want REAL confectionary fear, I went to the local supermarket and found boxes of Harry Potter jellybeans, based on the sequel. Flavors included "Booger", "Vomit", and other horrors. From hearsay of people nearby: Yes, those flavors are literal.

Chestnuts roasted by NeuroManson @ 05/02/2003 11:50 PM EST


Yeah, those Harry Potter beans ARE as delicious as they sound. Mm Mm Booger. Maybe they should make a He Man Tequila flavor. I saw X2 today[rocked!!], and while I didn't get to go out for the ice cream, I did go Dollar Store cruising[Matt inspired this hobby of mine -.-;] and got a really creepy baby-dressed-as-a-commando doll[which has the cutest lil cartoon face you ever did see yet is equipped with a phorealistic AK-47] and a Hummel-esque statue of a child playing with his.. AIBO Ripoff electronic dog toy?! Odd. Ah, Awesome Orange. You truly are awesome. My Dollar Store has that too, but it has no Indian Sex, sadly.

Chestnuts roasted by Vee @ 05/03/2003 12:09 AM EST


>Obviously, X2 doesn't need any further plugging at this point, but just hearing that they're a big enough entity to warrant their own ice cream flavors is enough to sell you on the legend's worth.

Yeah, it means that the legend is worth about as much as NBC's fall lineup. (I shit you not; I stopped into a BR last September and noticed the Will and Grace Rocky Road of Romance, the American Dreams Prailines 'n Dreams, and the Fear Factor sundae, topped with gummi spiders).

Honestly, if I were Marvel Comics, I'd be righetously pissed to see my intellectual property tied to something so worthless that they actually gave it to NBC's fall lineup before they gave it to me.

And one must wonder, who the fuck were they trying to get with this promotion? Honestly, kids don't WATCH these shows, and no adult's going to go out of their way to order something just because it has Will and Grace on it. I mean, Jeebus farking crispies, what the hell were they thinking?

BTW, I left that day without ordering anything. I just had the subtle idea that the entire concept was an insult to my intelligence.

Chestnuts roasted by HeartBurn Kid @ 05/03/2003 01:14 AM EST


Will & Grace Rocky Road of Romance?!?!? WTF!!!

Chestnuts roasted by CalmingEffect @ 05/03/2003 02:14 AM EST


I just wanted to get this out...watching Leno tonight (because I work nights...stop accusing of my having no life!!!!)...and he did a bit where he went to a 99 cent store and bought crap from them!!! HE RIPPED YOU OFF MATT!!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Kano @ 05/03/2003 03:01 AM EST


No offense to Matt but Lenos been doing that 99 cent store bit for years.

Chestnuts roasted by Patrick N @ 05/03/2003 03:27 AM EST


Chestnuts roasted by ploops @ 05/03/2003 03:53 AM EST


It's times like these that I'm glad I'm lactose intolerant. :-)

Chestnuts roasted by Boglin @ 05/03/2003 04:03 AM EST


I'm posting this comment partially to poke fun at the foolish ice cream woman,but mostly because I like the thought that posting this put one more little Shyguy onto this page.

Chestnuts roasted by DBS @ 05/03/2003 04:30 AM EST


X men 2 movie pretty good.

Those Heman toys also look very good, alas I do not buy kids meals and am trying to lay off the fast food.

The Baskin Robbins icecream looked icky in those pictures.

Then again, as someone pointed out, Matt has an amazing ability to get crappy looking food..

Chestnuts roasted by Bloodcat @ 05/03/2003 04:36 AM EST


I've got to hand it to you, Matt. You can find an article in anything at all, even oddly-dyed ice cream.

While I'm writing, I've got to thank you. Your writing has provided me with constant entertainment since I discovered your site last year. Your memory of the things I grew up with is astounding. Schlock culture needs more people like you...those who remember all the glory of days past.

At any rate, thanks for the laughs, thanks for the memories, and thanks for inspiring me to write better than I do.

Chestnuts roasted by Lightning Dan @ 05/03/2003 07:46 AM EST


I saw X-Men last night. They made my beloved Nightcrawler ugly... but somehow I will find it in my heart to forgive them.

Oh, and it's nice to see Mystique's whore-ness was left in tact. :)

Chestnuts roasted by snowcalico @ 05/03/2003 10:01 AM EST


Mr. Mr. Mr.:

There is absolutely no excuse for the way your pet counter-girl treated you, so I'm going to make one for her. Everybody needs an excuse, you know.

I can't excuse pure stupidity in fast food workers, such as the example Psychic Lemur gave (my local sub sandwich palace, for instance, ALWAYS puts mayo on sandwiches that aren't supposed to have mayo on them; we get LOTS of free sandwiches ^_^), but sheer angry rudeness from a cashier is actually understandable, if you've ever worked in fast food.

The working conditions are miserable. It's ALWAYS hot behind the counter, it's ALWAYS greasy (even the damned cash register gets greasy, don't ask me how), and your co-workers, the ones making the food, who NEVER have to deal with customers, are always sullen and saying the cashier's job is easier.

Oh contraire!!

See, I've worked a lot of jobs. ALL of them have involved customer service. And I can say with honesty that Dante missed a beat by not making a circle of Hell that involved talking to three customers at once at all times.

And the fast-food customers are BY FAR the worst. There is always at least one, and usually two or three, customers that come in at the same time every day, are super rude and mean, order the same special order, and complain every day that it was made wrong EVEN IF IT WAS MADE EXACTLY THE WAY THEY ASK FOR IT. It's tempting to bring in a tape recorder and record them placing their order, then play it back. It's even MORE tempting to tell them to get their wrinkled ass back in the kitchen and make it their damn selves. Know what, though? Even if they made it themselves they'd come up and complain that it was made wrong.

Worse, and far more common, are the customers that are just plain STUPID. This problem is normally bigger in drive-thru, but even the walk-ins have their fair share of dumb-dumbs. A direct quote from a friend currently employed at McDonald's:

"I work at McDonalds and I had some bitch argue for 15 mins with me demanding a Taco and saying that she eats Tacos at McDonalds all the time. I also had people in the drive tru ordering Pineapples and Chilli and this one idiot asked for fruit when I asked him what kind of drink he wanted. And the every day favorite,

Me: What kind of drink would you like with your meal?
Dumbass: IT COM WID DA DRINK DAMMIT!
Me: I know sir but what kind would you like sir?
Dumbass: IT COM WID DA DRINK DAMMIT!
Me: yes sir but what kind?
Dumbass: IT COM WID DA DRINK DAMMIT!
Me: Will urine be okay?
Dumbass: Wat dat is?
Me: $3.81 is your total please pull around.

God, I hate people."

And management? What a joke. The managers don't want to be there. More specifically, they don't want YOU, your CO-WORKERS, or the CUSTOMERS to be there; they'd be perfectly content sitting around the restaurant all alone, all day, running up the long distance bill and eating free food. That's all I've ever seen them do. Here's a manager story from the same friend:

"You don't even know the half of it woman. I get harrased every day by my dumb fuck managers over my freakin pants. It goes like this.

Stupid Manager with shit for brains and a giant ruber cock in her ass: Obed you know the dress code *shakes her head*
Me: We've been through this already, I really don't feel like hummoring you again, leave me alone.
Her: You can't wear big black jeans to work.
Me: You said black pants...
Her: I said McDonalds pants!
Me: Okay, but I don't have any, do you want me to wear black dickies instead?
Her: I said McDonalds pants!
Me: Yes, I know but I don't have any and I already ordered them from you about six times and they haven't arrived since I started working here god knows how long ago.
Her: I said McDonalds pants!
Me: Yes you did.
Her then why don't you have them?!
Me: I just told you for THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY HAVE YOU LISTENED TO ONE WORD I JUST SAID?!
Her: And I said McDonalds pants!
Me: You know I'm on the clock and your paying to stand around while you look at my pants?
Her: Get to work! And don't wear jeans!
Me: You want me to take them off for you?
Her: Are you giving me SASS?!
Me: Yes.
Her:... get back to work.

I hate McDonalds."

And paychecks? Right. Right-oh. Cashiers aren't paid half what they should be to put up with the shit they have to every day.

So, to summarize, Triple Mr., you're probably just lucky you didn't come in a half hour later or she might have shot you in the head. There is a breaking point, and she probably just reached hers.

Chestnuts roasted by freakachu @ 05/03/2003 10:06 AM EST


Holy shit that was long. Sorry guys.

Chestnuts roasted by freakachu @ 05/03/2003 10:08 AM EST


Good God...it's the all-Asian Baskin Robbins at the Staten Island Mall! ::swoons::

Chestnuts roasted by tripmaster @ 05/03/2003 11:02 AM EST


No, I know what you mean freakachu. I've worked in a fast-food place (it wsn't a huge corporate international, but we served that food) where I had to cook and serve the food. I used to get called words that I won't transcribe here on a daily basis. It's been ten years, and I still remember how badly that side of the counter sucks. But frankly, the loathing that goes on on both sides of the counters can be a bitch. I have to say, though, that I've taken more abuse in my life working that job than I ever have as a customer. Not that it makes the girls at Mr Mr Mr's counter more tolerable. *complains in old early-twentysomething fogey voice* Gosh-durned young'uns! *shakes cane* But, fuck, I also worked as a janitor back in the day, and dropping urinal cakes was actually a MUCH better job. (And not just because of the girly squeals that the old men would make when they saw a girl janitor walk into their bathroom. Hee.)

Matt, one of the things I love about this site is that you're willing to put things in your mouth that my vegetarian, whole-food-eating self never would. Shit that would make most people say "Don't put that in your mouth! You KNOW where it's been!" Shit that even my junk-food-loving girlfriend is wary of. I can't tell you how many times this conversation has gone on in our house:

Molten: Shit! Look at what he found! I remember that stuff.
G/F: Wow, I bet a molecule of that shit's nutritional value would be something like 1 000 calories. Pretty impressive considering there's nothing that could be considered food in there.
Molten: Yeah, and the package is about eighteen years old. Toxic.
G/F: Ew, look how gloppy it is. What are those chunks?
Molten: Oh, no Matt, don't do it! Nooo!
G/F: Remember that talk we had? About the horror movies? And how they can't hear you, and it's too late anyway, 'cause the movie's made? Same thing here.
Molten: Wow, he actually put it in his mouth.
G/F: So what's it like?
Molten: Toasty (-la-MK), apparently.
G/F: Can't be worse than the time he ate the Nad's hair-removal cream.
Molten: *heh heh* You said "nads."

You should get a medal, Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 05/03/2003 11:05 AM EST


Hey now! Put some chips in that ice cream and call it an adventure!
Everything will be spickin and spannin from across the plannet!

Chestnuts roasted by Rockin Jesus Mcnally Jr. @ 05/03/2003 11:30 AM EST


Amen to Freakachu and Molten. The only thing I can find worse than fast food customers are Buffet Dining Customers, straight from the ghetto, talking-with-their-mouths-open, snatching food offa dirty plates, stuffing chicken into their purses, letting their children run wild as if this was a FUCKING ZOO, Buffet Diners.

And yeah, after the Nads incident, this stuff looks pretty damn tasty, I reckon. I want ice cream.

Chestnuts roasted by Jiller @ 05/03/2003 12:14 PM EST


well I Saw x-2 last night, just like everybody else in the entire freaking world! the entire theatre was filled w/ people from my work, and their spouses, if that doesn't show you where the nerds in this town work, I don't know what will. All I've heard about so far today is that they f'd up the origin of the phoinex...I'm new to comics, I always loved the heros, but never read the comics, so I don't know the stories...but why the hell is it that they can have dbz movies conflict w/ each other and nobody notices, but a comic book and movie have to be perfectly together? oh well, cusre of the anal retentive. btw, night crawler has always been my favorite, for those of you who like wolverine, poo on you.

Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 05/03/2003 12:50 PM EST


:: btw, night crawler has always been my favorite, for those of you who like wolverine

I think I was likley the only person in my theater who reconized Nightcrawler as praying the Rosary during the course of the film.

Some guy ahead of me, while hitting on a girl who may/may not have been 12, remarked "what's with that girley necklace?"

I felt like backhanding him.
Hiting on 12 year olds is bad.

Great job with XE Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Ernie @ 05/03/2003 02:11 PM EST


Squee, in all honesty, the newbies are coming out on top, I believe, as oppossed to us old timers. In a lot of ways the movie people just took every cool idea the X-Men comic ever had, lumped it together and Presto! A lot of the excess garbage, and believe me a lot of it WAS garbage, got chunked out- the movie is slicker, cooler and a whole lot more character driven than the comics are now. The comics are so downed by dull cliche and (oh most holy of words) CONTINUITY, that there is hardly any real room for originality and development. If you want to read some of the good old stuff read these: First, the graphic novel, God loves, Man Kills is a great book. Next read any comic that has the name JOHN BYRNE and CHRIS CLAREMONT written on it, you usually can't go wrong with those two. Mr. Byrne writes a column for the SlushFactory by the way, so read it religiously... To find the best of those aforementioned artists look for back issues of Classic X-Men, or X-Men Classic, whichever it is, as the original issues may be a little pricey. The Dark Phoenix Saga, which was a part of their run, you'll probably find best in a graphic novel. Want some good Wolverine? Read the original mini-series by FRANK MILLER, read the Wolverine, Kitty Pride mini-series, and read the MARVEL COMICS PRESENTS issues of Weapon X by my favorite artist BARRY WINDSOR-SMITH. Quite simply, that was one of the most devastating experiences I have ever had reading a comic. Do you want to feel Logan's pain? Read it! The next best advice? Explore on your own and read what YOU find interesting... Oh, its not related in any way but, LONE WOLF AND CUB, that's all I'll say...

Chestnuts roasted by BotchieGulpe @ 05/03/2003 02:18 PM EST


I hated the original X-Men movie, all comic book movies blow. I doubt I will even take the time to download this, and since when did the comments start going down instead of up? =/ It's weird.

Chestnuts roasted by Trampus @ 05/03/2003 02:21 PM EST


when it comes to terms of the movie not following the original story line, some of the comments here have inspired me to a revelation. (I hope my limited literary skills can give it the justice it has gained in my mind). First, I am happy that the movie is main streem enough for me, the "unindoctrinated" fan to enjoy. Like when Blink-182 became popular, many people in the 'punk' comunity hailed them for bringing normally mainstreem people. I scoffed because I though people becoming punks through blink were all posers, and taking the wrong route. With x2 I have a perspective on the other side of the fence. If you get from point a to point b, as a fan of new art, does it matter the route? And if they had followed the story correctly, what would the point in seeing the movie be? Nothing new would be there. Might as well just re-read the commics. That's pretty close to what I'm thinking, hope it makes sence to someone else too.

Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 05/03/2003 03:39 PM EST


hey matt can u review the movie "The Gate"?

Chestnuts roasted by anonymous @ 05/03/2003 04:24 PM EST


Hey, whos the hot chick wearing white at the top of the screen?

And X2 is a good movie, I recommend it!

Chestnuts roasted by James Miller @ 05/03/2003 06:01 PM EST


wankers

Chestnuts roasted by x-fan @ 05/03/2003 07:59 PM EST


Have to say, after seeing the X2 movie for the second time, I have to agree that the Magneto break-out was the best scene. Doesn't put me in the mod for ice-cream, though.

The woman at the top of the screen is the White Queen. Former bad guy (girl?)

Oh, and on the Fast-food kick, here's one of my favorite stories.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/business/tacobell.htm

Taco Hell indeed.

Chestnuts roasted by army_22 @ 05/03/2003 11:00 PM EST


Dude, speaking of that powerade/Matrix shit, it tastes like sugary goat piss... not that 've ever had sugary goat piss, but one can imagine. So in short, do not drink this stuff.

Chestnuts roasted by hedtrauma @ 05/03/2003 11:44 PM EST


It doesn't taste like piss. That's what the Matrix wants you to think. Maybe what you think tastes like piss really tastes like Gatorade. For all you know, you might be pissing away gallons and gallons of thirst quencher every time you go to the can.

Chestnuts roasted by Squid @ 05/04/2003 12:16 AM EST


Everything could have an ice cream tie-in. My own, personal tie-in would have have pop rocks and sparkling pear juice in it.

Chestnuts roasted by Milwaukee Driver @ 05/04/2003 01:27 AM EST


"It doesn't taste like piss. That's what the Matrix wants you to think. Maybe what you think tastes like piss really tastes like Gatorade. For all you know, you might be pissing away gallons and gallons of thirst quencher every time you go to the can."

Brilliant.

Chestnuts roasted by BariMusic @ 05/04/2003 12:50 PM EST


So how come this is in the blog section and not the articles section? Not long enough?

Chestnuts roasted by Go Knock Jimmy Down @ 05/04/2003 02:33 PM EST


Didn't think there was enough to warrant a full article, and decided that it'd be good to get some extra people into the mysterious blog section. Worked out okay. :D

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/04/2003 03:14 PM EST


incase you haven't seen it yet, there is Hulk cereal in grocery stores now.

Chestnuts roasted by sara @ 05/04/2003 03:49 PM EST


Gee I knew this guy was gonna be all over the MOTU happy meal toys. When I walked by the display yesterday morning, I knew this site would have some damn coverage on it. Some DAMN coverage.

Chestnuts roasted by hippo_crates @ 05/04/2003 03:58 PM EST


Hey Matt, just gat done reading your Toys-R-Us article. How bout a review of the MASK toys? Ha Ha! But seriously, I need someone ANYONE to recommend to me a good site to find out the names of rare toys are by description. I know I have seen and played with this toy line before but I have no idea what it is? Please help!

Chestnuts roasted by lonewolf1313 @ 05/04/2003 04:29 PM EST


Is it just me or does it look like that McDonald's Orko has feet?!?

Chestnuts roasted by Teddy Ray @ 05/04/2003 04:36 PM EST


Well I suppose I'm one of the few real X-Men fans who have grown up with the comic... no offense to the newbies, but how would Star Wars fan feel if they came up with a hit comic book where Yoda was orange and Luke Skywalker was a girl? And then the comic outselled the movie, and everone forgot the movies. Would suck wouldn't it? That is the X-Men situation in reverse. Not saying an orange Yoda wouldn't be cool or anything, but I was a tad peeved at -everything- in the first movie. Havn't seen the 2nd, but the fact that that Nightcrawler is covered with a bunch of stupid blue tattoos is retarded. And Mistique walking around naked had to have been the dumbest thing they could have come up with. For God's sake, if I said "Hey! Lets forget about Sabretooth talking or anything and just have him walk around naked." They would have been like "Ew, gross!" But the minute you cover them in blue paint and make it female everyone is all over it.

Male comic nerds suck.

Female comic nerds should rule the world.

Well, the hot ones like me, anyway.

I hate the color blue..........

Chestnuts roasted by Otaku Queen @ 05/04/2003 06:43 PM EST


I tried some of this stuff last night (my local Baskin Robins is only a block away). I had the cone, and it was similarly "melty". Granted, I live in New Orleans, but it's not quite that hot yet. It did taste pretty good; they ought to kill the blue dye, name it something normal, and bring it back.

Chestnuts roasted by Terek Kincaid @ 05/04/2003 11:20 PM EST


Otaku Queen:

Just watch the movie and STFU, BIOTCH!

Chestnuts roasted by Moro Moro @ 05/05/2003 01:14 AM EST


To be honest kids, nothing is worse than working behind a concession stand at a busy movie theater. I did that for two and a half years before I left with a crystallized contempt for humanity. It's all salt, sweat, and stupidity (not mine of course). Not to mention we had some smelly ass. man. watching us bust our asses the whole time, periodicaly interjecting amidst the chaos to remind us about the mandatory upselling techniques in regards to the exorbitantly priced soda. "Would you like a pickle with that?"

Chestnuts roasted by Dirty Mr. Finkle @ 05/05/2003 05:32 AM EST


I think everybody has a "stupid fast-food story". My girlfriend once ordered a cheeseburger with "only ketchup, cheese and pickles" and that's exactly what she got...ketchup, cheese and pickles on the bun with no meat. As freakachu said, it was made exactly the way she ordered it...but redneck that she is she of course complained to the manager. Free food rules. MOTU toys at McD's also rule; my life is complete now that I own a poorly-rendered miniature He-Man to prop up on my desk. And is it just me, or did He-Man get younger and ugly?

Chestnuts roasted by Queen of Ill Repute @ 05/05/2003 09:56 AM EST


Queen of Ill Repute:

Well, that isn't quite what I meant.. that story goes more into the file of "stupid cashier" stories. But you'll get people who order a burger with no pickles. That's what they'll ask for. Every day. And every day they get it. And every day they come up to the counter and say, "Listen young lady! I said EXTRA pickles!" No you didn't, you old turd, but you're not getting a free sandwich out of it. Here's a cup of pickles. Go away.

Chestnuts roasted by freakachu @ 05/05/2003 12:04 PM EST


I want to say that I haven't seen the X-2 movie and I'M NOT GOING TO! CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO! CAUSE I THOUGHT THE FIRST ONE SUCKED! HAHAHAHA YOU CAN'T MAKE ME SMOKE YOUR MUTATED CRACK!!!

And Moro Moro, I'm not sure what the point of your post was, but the point of a discussion forum is that everyone is entitled to their own opinions. If Otaku Queen doesn't want to watch the movie, however twisted or stupid you may think her reasons are, it's none of your damned business. She's entitled to her opinion, even if it doesn't match yours. So "STFU", as you so succinctly put it.

Chestnuts roasted by freakachu @ 05/05/2003 12:08 PM EST


Looks like someting I see after a night of eating refried beans.

Chestnuts roasted by Merri Mex @ 05/05/2003 03:17 PM EST


"Here's a cup of pickles. Go away."

Great phrase. I'm going to use it in my everyday life, even when no pickles are involved.

I like this opened can of worms over newbies versus oldies. The Star Wars metaphor (orange Yoda, haha) was interesting, and I can see the point. But, I never got into Star Wars until The Special Edition. Does that mean OG fans can hate me, because I didn't know about the awesomeness of the REAL Sy Snootles until X-E opened my eyes? I think not, cause the more $$ I send to the franchise, the more products and ice cream tie-ins we get to see. Same thing with X-Men, although I guess collectors could be P.O'ed because now the products they're hunting for cost a lot more. By the same token, any collectables that you're sitting on are worth more too.

If you want to be a crotchety old fogey sitting on your porch telling "In my day, the X-Men were this and that and the other!" stories, then go right ahead. Don't go see the movie. But don't begrudge other people their fun.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 05/05/2003 03:41 PM EST


MATT, your specialty is in food commentaries. go with that. and make another cake, or talk about bea arthur!!!! I really need a good laugh right now!

Chestnuts roasted by miss @ 05/05/2003 03:45 PM EST


regarding the hardcoreness of fans: as long as there are old fans and new fans, the old ones will ALWAYS say they are more hardcore. this is because they were the first. they feel that it's their right - they planted their flag and they'll be damned to share it with newcomers. i'm an old star wars fan. but, i love the fact that new fans are flocking to it, although the new movies suck donkey. on the flipside, i'm new to the x-men thing. i didn't find the comics appealing, but the movies are good. it's a new medium for old characters. it's testament to how good the characters and stories were/are. i didn't like the comic medium, but i'm a movie fan, and i loved the movies, especially X2. now, if only more people could do a good wookiee howl...

Chestnuts roasted by wampa1 @ 05/05/2003 05:20 PM EST


The movie was good, but was it half-melted, turquoise baby-shit good? Here's hoping for a "Anna Paquin Nervous Breakdown Berry Boogie" flavor in honor of the next one.

By the way, I've had a lot of managers react in a similar way when I start taking pictures in their shops. Of course, my constant questioning as to the number of guards and security cameras, as well as the locations of primary ventilation ducts, present in the store may have had something to do with it. Oh well. they won't have to worry much longer.

Chestnuts roasted by Murderous Mr. K @ 05/05/2003 06:20 PM EST


"If you want to be a crotchety old fogey sitting on your porch telling "In my day, the X-Men were this and that and the other!" stories, then go right ahead. Don't go see the movie. But don't begrudge other people their fun.
"

Don't get me wrong. Y'all can go see that movie if you want to. I'm an old fogey that says, "In my day we used to watch 80's B-movies and that was good enough for us. And still is!" Although, I must admit that since my last post, I have begun to bear the movie a personal grudge-- for reasons having nothing to do with whether Wolverine is blue or Lazer-Eyes talks. Or whatever. Like I said, a personal grudge. I have nothing per se against parti-coloured mutants.

Chestnuts roasted by freakachu @ 05/05/2003 09:17 PM EST


i had a scoop of smurf corpse/diarhea and a scoop of that berry mutant mixture tonight...pretty powerfull stuff but yet so good... I also had a scoop of daquiri ice which is my all time favorite... ^_^

Chestnuts roasted by hamster fiend @ 05/05/2003 11:54 PM EST


No interest in X-Men but that ice cream looks damn good right now.

Chestnuts roasted by rowdykatie @ 05/06/2003 12:17 AM EST


Matt, I love you're website..I have been reading for damn near two years now and I just love you...why oh why did you have to move in with your girl..you broke my heart baby..oh well...i'd still do ya, just kidding..or am i? :o)

Chestnuts roasted by hot to trot @ 05/06/2003 02:45 AM EST


Once I was making ice cream for me and my brother. He was being rally annoying, so I shit in the batch. I then continued to make the ice cream and fed it to him like nothing was wrong.... he never found out

Chestnuts roasted by DD @ 05/06/2003 04:20 AM EST


by the way I would rather eat shit than that disgusting ass ice cream.... sorry you had to endure that.

Chestnuts roasted by DD @ 05/06/2003 04:22 AM EST


great stories freakachu, there really should be a site on the internet about fast food place true stories or something. Someone showed me a site which had like a blog about working in a video store with a porn section it was highly amusing reading about the freaky regulars.

Chestnuts roasted by df0notfound @ 05/06/2003 10:25 AM EST


df0notfound:

AH, for a limited time only! For your enjoyment! http://www.livejournal.com/community/customers_suck .

Serve and enjoy!

Chestnuts roasted by freakachu @ 05/06/2003 11:06 AM EST


Wow, I missed all of the cameos the first time around. I'm actually planning to see this flick again - aside from Star Wars, I never do that, which goes to show how good the movie really was. :) All gripes aside, it's just a ton of fun to watch.

Unfortunately, all of the Phoenix saga comics are now five times more costly on eBay. :/

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/06/2003 01:43 PM EST


I spent the last few weeks of my previous job searching this site. Of COURSE I was in customer service.

Chestnuts roasted by hahaha @ 05/06/2003 03:42 PM EST


Damn,Canada gets nothing cool. Sure Wolverine's Canadian,but damnit! No mutated ice cream! That's ok though,because I'm the only person in the world qualified to do the Corn Dance. No,really,I am. Your life is not complete until you see the Corn Dance. It will change your life,I swear.

P.S.:Don't fuck with Megatron.

Chestnuts roasted by Crow Warrior @ 05/06/2003 07:34 PM EST


I got the impression that the self-inflicted markings on Nightcrawler were scars/scarification, rather than tattoos. I don't recall them (most of my x-men knowledge is second-hand) from the comics, but I think it added one more interesting thing to the movie character.

Good point about mystique, though. I can understand if she prefers not to wear clothes because it hinders the use of her powers (they don't morph with her?), and she has a beautiful body which matches her attitude, but come on, it's nothing more than a draw for the males who would otherwise have a passing interest in the actual plot or characterization or something.

Maybe I shouldn't say anything because I seem to have some weird thing for blue skin...Nightcrawler was "TV ugly, not UGLY-ugly." :)

Chestnuts roasted by demigoth @ 05/06/2003 09:04 PM EST


Personally, I think most of the movie's costume transitions from the comics were pretty cool. Mystique and Nightcrawler, definitely.

PS - the guy who played Nightcrawler is the guy who danced with Romy and Michelle. FYI and all that. Kristi Masters stuck magnets on your back.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/07/2003 10:16 AM EST


I don't know anything about the comics, nor would I claim to, but I worked in a video store with a porno section, and I'd really appreciate it if somebody could tell me where that site's at.

Greatest straight porn title: "Titty Slickers 2: The Legend of the Gold Curlies"

Greatest gay porn title: "Enough To Choke On"

Sorry about that, folks.

Chestnuts roasted by Travis @ 05/07/2003 10:53 AM EST


scooby doo and doo doo, but jimmy carter is smarter

Chestnuts roasted by simpson @ 05/08/2003 04:30 AM EST


Hey, that X-Mint ice cream wasn't TOO bad. Sure, it has kind of a gluey consistency and looks like something a Smurf would hack up, but... uh... What was I saying?

Chestnuts roasted by redhed311 @ 05/08/2003 11:00 PM EST


True Porn Clerk Stories -
http://www.improvisation.ws/mb/tpcs1.php

Chestnuts roasted by awdevil @ 05/09/2003 03:00 AM EST


wha, whaaaaa! WHAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Chestnuts roasted by radiostar @ 05/09/2003 10:51 AM EST


Reading this was like stepping into a vortex of my own thoughts and irrational mummblings. I respect you like no other Mr. Matt. Will you marry me? Quite possibly be my pet, like an emu or a donkey? I throughly enjoyed this ice cream review. It reminded me of this time I rolled around on the football field in a protest against gym being manditory in grade 9. Well not really but I just thought I'd share one of my own little anticdotes. I wish to feel special.

Call me (or quite possibly AIM me at Emmiechan8)

You're a doll

Chestnuts roasted by Emmie or the "Emster" @ 05/10/2003 09:32 PM EST


sure. it's all good with the "berry rampage sundae" until you imagine Wolverine going on a Berry Rampage. BERRY. RAMPAGE.
I can hear Stan Lee weeping in the distance.

Chestnuts roasted by glorious pants @ 05/13/2003 07:41 PM EST


I am weeping....Mostly because of the lack of royalties. I wish I kept all my old comics. Heck,I wish I bought all those old ones. Being part of the creative process is no fun unless you buy the bloody issue. Excelsior!

Chestnuts roasted by StanthemanLeeisCrowWarrior @ 05/13/2003 08:09 PM EST


Matt, just looking at the photographic evidence turned my stomach. I agree it does look like a Smurf inside of a blender. BTW Nice site, I know I'm a little late posting this. Better late than never.

Chestnuts roasted by Rowan_Steele @ 06/10/2003 12:19 PM EST


If I remember correctly it was revealed in the mini series "Origin" that Wolverine isn't actually Canadian, I believe he's from the Midwest.
As for the comment of Byrne and Claremont always having good stories that isn't always true, Byrnes revamp of Spiderman was abyssmal. As for Otaku Queen stating that it would be like an "orange Yoda", I would pay cash in advance for that. And wasn't Luke supposed to be a girl originally? As for Sabertooth naked, well thats for each person to decide themselves.

Chestnuts roasted by Happnin' "Gaijin"Mojo @ 07/04/2003 10:00 AM EST


I could have SWORN Wolverine was an Aussie. No, I mean really. As in the character actually being from Australia. Could just be a false memory, though. I have a lot of those.

Chestnuts roasted by Orin @ 07/08/2003 03:59 PM EST


suck my dick

Chestnuts roasted by suck my balls @ 08/04/2003 11:42 PM EST


Some how I don't believe that Mr. Mr. Mr. thing... damn you liars.... (heh I just thought of the Chrono Killer name up... think i'll use that from now on)

Chestnuts roasted by Chrono Killer @ 08/27/2003 10:16 PM EST


Ok, I ate that before and it was pretty good. But mine only came with on gummy thing and made an "I" instead of an "X".

Chestnuts roasted by 80s Guy @ 09/06/2003 02:17 PM EST


man, i wish I lived in america, you people have the greatest food ever. In terms of choice and ideas.

Chestnuts roasted by rachel_cakes @ 09/09/2003 10:14 PM EST


Here's a fast food order blunder for the ages...

My friend and I decided to go to the local B-K for a late breakfast of burgers and fries. I was first in line and placed my order. A hamburger Kid's Club Meal and a small fry, of which I had a coupon for a free one (fry that is). My grand total was $2.13, not a lot of money but considering my grilfriend had kicked me out the night before it was my last $2.13. My friend was next and placed his order for a Whopper meal or something like it. All was fine and dandy.

His order came up first which at this B-K was nothing new they had a penchant for fucking shit up like this. But then more orders from the following people came up. One after the other. About four or five orders later I decided to speak up. It more or less went like this...

Me: Excuse me, I placed an order and still haven't got it yet.
Fat Burger Jockey: What did you order?
Me: A Kid's Club Meal and I had a coupon for a small fry.
Fat Burger Jockey: I don't see it are you sure you ordered it?
Me: Of course I am. You are the one who took my order.
Fat Burger Jockey: I don't remember taking that order.

Now the even fatter manager is standing there listening to all of this and chimes in.

Fatter Manager Type: Do you have your reciept?
Me: No, I wasn't given one.
Fatter Manager Type: What did you order?
Me: A Kid's Club Meal and I had a coupon for a small fry.
Fatter Manager Type: Well I don't see it here.
Me: Why don't you look at your reciepts and see if you can find it.
Fatter Manager Type - To the Fat Burger Jockey: Are you sure you didn't take this mans order.
Fat Burger Jockey: I don't remember.
Me - Now boiling with rage cause I know this will be my only meal on this day: I'm not crazy. I know I ordered a Hamburger Kid's Club Meal and I had a coupon for a free small fry. I paid $2.13 for it. Why don't you look in the drawer to see if you have the coupon.
Fatter Manager Type: We can't do that unless you buy something.
Me: I did!
Fatter Manager Type: Do you people think you can just walk in here and think we'll hand you food?

Now I should mention that I am white! And the county fair had started that morning. I was freshly shaven and had on nice clothes (it was laundry day).

Me: What? You think I'm just standing here hoping you'll hand me food? Give me back my money.
Fatter Manager Type: Here. (Throwing me a Whopper, large fry, and a cup.)
Me - Thinking justice is just around the corner (What a jackass I am): That's not what I ordered. I ordered a Hamburger Kid's Club Meal and I had a coupon for a free small fry. I paid $2.13.
Fatter Manager Type: Fine. (She opens the drawer without me having to buy something gets out $2.13 and the exact same coupon I used in the first place and hands it to me.) Now please leave.
Me: I'll leave when my friend is done eating what he got. (Which by this time he was two bite from completion.)

I sat down and my now retarded friend says "We should blow this place up." This was back in 1998 so there wasn't the big stigma of terrorism but it still isn't something you say LOUDLY after getting in a fight with 'business' people with the Sate Trooper Barracks less than half a mile down the road.

We called the district manager later with our little story and he tried to get our address so he could 'send us some coupons for free food.' We righly opted out of that since we didn't like cops any more than we liked fat fast food workers.

Chestnuts roasted by Jimmie The Scumbag @ 02/08/2004 04:29 PM EST


I have the coupon for a free one of those X-2 thingies in baskin robins that I got in the X-2 game. I also have one of the count of monte cristo ones that came in the DVD and was already expired. Not that I would have dreamed of actually using it... or that I even had a BR within 400 miles of my place of residence...

Chestnuts roasted by hitokiri_diesel @ 02/24/2004 01:02 PM EST