06/05/2003 Entry: "More Photog Art!"

Here's some more Photog Art from our everyone-tied-in-second-place winners. The winners in this batch are Allen Roberts, Shane Bryan, Jason Smith, Jack Masters, and Katie Scott. Check out their entries, they're grrrreat...

Remember, this is only the first batch of first place winners. First of the first. To be honest, I keep going through my inbox's 'Photog Folder,' and it's pretty hard to 'judge' art of this magnitude. Even some of the ones that aren't easy on the eyes were downright hysterical - can't we just assume that everyone won? Bitner always brings out the diplomat in me.

Starting things off, here's two entries by Allen Roberts. I liked both of his submissions way too much to pick one over the other.

"Here's some art for the Photog contest, it's a look into the life of the Fearless One after Mattel screwed him over. Can you imagine getting selected to go fight alongside He-Man, Teela, the guy that looks like a bee, and the rest of the Masters of the Universe gang only to have the rug pulled out from under you?   That must've sucked.   And it's not like there are plenty of jobs out there for guys with photo equipment for a head."

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That's about the greatest thing I've ever seen, but Allen's second entry might pack even more charm...

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Next up, here's Shane M. Bryan's tribute to Photog. I don't think I need to add anything to these pictures...

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A statue worthy of worship. Make sure you click the pics for the larger versions -- the second one features a cameo by a second Lego Photog, baby-sized. Good job, Shane. You've done F-P to the N-B proud.

While Shane was the only competitor to work Legos into the mix, Jason Smith might've created the sole entry done in CG....

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Sometimes, simple works. Jack Masters managed to do Photog justice with only a pencil and his own personal sordid love for Nathan Bitner...

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For this batch's finale, here's Katie Scott's submission. Yep, she really made these. Mattel might've ducked out on their commitments to make a Photog figure ready for the masses, but Katie's here to pick up the slack...

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Incredible, and incredibly Photog. Make sure you check out the full-sized versions -- they're huge, and Photog is standing amidst a horde of tropical sea plants that are able to live out of water because they're JUST THAT COOL.

Amazingly enough, we've still only barely scratched the surface. In the next batch, you'll see everything from more Photog comics to more Photog figures, and even the glorious Photog movie. Stay tuned, and congrats to all the winners! While Brian McCabe won the contest, all runners-up will receive prize packs as well -- just with a little less stuff so Brian doesn't feel cheated. I think Bitner would consider that fair.

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 06/05/2003 10:05 AM EST

where are the MS Paint entries? I want to see those.

Chestnuts roasted by Candice @ 06/05/2003 10:24 AM EST

I really dig the personality in Allen's pictures. Its very human...though both pictures really could be pulled from personal experience (which is awesome).

Katie that's perfect photog...what did you make it out of? (oh god I sound like those he-man customs guys-no offense its such an art---Was scrolling through the Customs and such page...every thing is frickin' impressive)

Oh and is it just me or does Jason Smith CG Photog sort of imply that either Fat Daddy is his victim or arch nemesis. I need to see a Daddy MOTU figure now. (could you store Jawas inside it?)

Chestnuts roasted by OhGodtheRats @ 06/05/2003 10:38 AM EST

Holy Shit! You all are damn creative. Allens milk carton=priceless. Congrats all around, you deserve it.

God Bless Bitner...and Photog

Chestnuts roasted by Cyn @ 06/05/2003 12:26 PM EST

Gee, now my next 24 hours will be spent wondering if somebody else did a Photog movie entry...

I really wish I had thought of Fat Daddy as a Photog's victim. But wouldn't so much power overload Photog's circuits?

The Fridge's deco on Allen Roberts' entry really cracked me up. I also like how Mossman took to writing his own name on his belly; probably so that people stopped mistaking him for a mouldy Beast-Man...

All the entries so far are brilliant. I'm just a bit disappointed that a lot of people seem to overlook the yellow stripes on his limbs, which are an integral part of the design, IMO.

Chestnuts roasted by Thomazinger @ 06/05/2003 01:11 PM EST

I was wondering that too Thomazinger. :)Go film entries! (if I'm reading you right...yay)

Now I wish i'd gone with my first instinct: Mash potatoe sculpture.

Chestnuts roasted by OhGodtheRats @ 06/05/2003 01:46 PM EST

I hope these entries will convince Matt to hold more contests. I like OhGodtheRats' idea - a Fat Daddy MOTU figure. The possiblities are endless...

Chestnuts roasted by shinfifo @ 06/05/2003 02:04 PM EST

"I'm just a bit disappointed that a lot of people seem to overlook the yellow stripes on his limbs, which are an integral part of the design, IMO."

Never thought of it like that, but you're probably right. I always assumed that that yellow was some sort of crazy shading. Looks as though Brian McCabe et al. probably saw it that way too.

Chestnuts roasted by Jason Sullivan @ 06/05/2003 02:32 PM EST

you must do a gallery of everyone's entries! the world must not be deprived the glory of seeing my brilliant composition!

c'mon matt... you know you want to.

the last name's weston, in case you were wanting to add it to anything, like, y'know, packages of runner-up prizes.

Chestnuts roasted by evin @ 06/05/2003 02:49 PM EST

Glad you folks enjoy the drawings, and glad I could contribute to the phenomenon known simply as "Bitnermania". Great artwork all around, I can't wait to see the rest because I, like most of you here, have a sickness; a sickness that can only be cured with more Photog art!

Chestnuts roasted by Allen Roberts @ 06/05/2003 03:12 PM EST

I'm loving these -- you guys all did very awesome work. (The fridge art, milk carton and middle-age beer belly are especially fabulous!) Are the figures on the pencil sketch of photog disco dancing à-la-John Travolta? ;)

More! More!

Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 06/05/2003 05:16 PM EST

Hey, May be this can become the Photog/Bitner rant if we don't save the orginal.

Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 06/05/2003 05:49 PM EST

Thanks Matt for picking me as a runner up! My office mates think I'm famous and several prostitutes want to hang out with me and not have sex. Oh god, the curse of Photog has begun :-O

Chestnuts roasted by Spiffy McKracken (AKA Shane M Bryan) @ 06/05/2003 06:16 PM EST

I thought the yellow on the arms was some kind of lighting effect too. Boy do I feel silly now.

Chestnuts roasted by Spiffy McKracken (whose secret identity is Shane M Bryan) @ 06/05/2003 06:18 PM EST

I guess it’s time to come out of lurking to help solve the Photog/Fat Daddy connection. There is no real explanation for why I used Fat Daddy as Photog’s victim. I just wanted to incorporate X-E into the picture. There were lots of things I could have used but I liked Fat Daddy the best. I would definitely buy a Fat Daddy figure, even the pink shirt variant.

About the yellow stripes on Photog’s uniform. I must have look at the original drawing for hours and for some reason it didn’t occur to me that they were part of the uniform. The way they were placed I though they were just weird colored highlights. Like he was under a yellow heat lamp or something.

Anyway, all the entries have been great so far and I can’t wait to see the rest.

Chestnuts roasted by Jason @ 06/05/2003 06:54 PM EST

The following are shows I thought of that might be interested in Photog.

Egg
egg@thirteen.org
http://www.pbs.org/wnet/egg/find.html

There are two shows on MTV.
Big Urban Myth:
http://www.mtv.com/onair/big_urban_myth/
Twisted:
I could not find a link since this is a new show but the episode I watched was a documentary about the first Jewish Playmate and the guy who sold his life and belongings on the internet as perfomance art(http://www.allmylifeforsale.com).

Jimmy Kimmel is the best chance for a talk show to mention Photog since he has already had other various internet people on like angrynakedpat.com's Andy Milonakis
http://www.abc.abcnews.go.com/primetime/jimmykimmel/senditin.html

I found the rest of the talk shows at:
http://www.interbridge.com/lineups.html#JKL

Late Show with David Letterman:
http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/ Click on "Show Info," then "E-Mail Us."

Tonight Show with Jay Leno: No public e-mail address; write to Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 3000 W. Alameda Ave., Burbank, CA 91523

Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn: Link to the E-Mail Craig Kilborn page http://www.cbs.com/latenight/latelate/email.shtml

Late Night with Conan O'Brien: funnyontv@aol.com
write to Late Night with Conan O'Brien, 30 Rockefeller Plaza, New York, NY 10112

Last Call with Carson Daly: lastcall@nbc.com

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart: thedailyshow@comedycentral.com

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 06/05/2003 06:56 PM EST

Man I really underestimated what people were goign to for this...I'm almost afraid to see mine put up now lol...it doesnt' even make sense since I didnt' have time to finish it. Everyone's gonna look at mine and think I'm some deranged criminal lol

Chestnuts roasted by Kiften @ 06/05/2003 07:15 PM EST

"F-P to the N-B"

Screw "That's so Bitner!" I got me a new catchphrase!

I love the staggered roll-out. Can't wait to see the rest! I know that no matter what the skill level, they're all going to be great.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 06/05/2003 07:39 PM EST

So umm... what ever happened to the christmas thing?

Chestnuts roasted by Trippy the 8th Dwarf @ 06/05/2003 08:33 PM EST

I thought the yellow on Photog was supposed to be a highlight too, but I liked the idea of it being a stripe better so that's how I used it. I'd also like to say thanks to Matt for deeming my drawings worthy of runner-up status, I didn't think to mention that in my previous post.

Chestnuts roasted by Allen Roberts @ 06/05/2003 09:20 PM EST

Yea! Runner up!!!!
If anyone cares, this is how I made my Photog: I got a WWF figure (I really do not remember who) and I carved/sanded off his shorts and shoes. Then I used an air drying sculpting medium called Magic-sculpt to make his head and belt and stuff. Then I sprayed the plastic with auto primer, and painted him. The paint does tend to scratch off as the joints move though.
Anyway, there it is. And a friend made the crazy plants for something else, but I thought they looked very nice with Photog, so he will share in what ever loot I get.
Also, I thought that the gold "stripes" were a neat paint highlight that I tried for, but I could not get.
AND, his sheild is the bottom of a beer can spray painted gold.

Chestnuts roasted by KT @ 06/05/2003 09:39 PM EST

What ever happen to your he man article. Lots of MOTU McDonalds sets on ebay the cheapest 9 bucks #3134151801 being sold by mex304. I've allready got a set they art pretty swizeet fot shizil my nizil.

Chestnuts roasted by Teeleaf @ 06/06/2003 02:48 AM EST

great job guys, each one is a unique and precious jewel.

Chestnuts roasted by nathanW @ 06/06/2003 02:58 AM EST

I like the little "X E" magnets on the fridge.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 06/06/2003 01:27 PM EST

The out of control gnarly chest hairs were my personal favorite.

Chestnuts roasted by Child-Like Mentality @ 06/06/2003 01:58 PM EST

who is fat daddy?

Chestnuts roasted by wack0 @ 06/06/2003 02:09 PM EST

damn, I feel more and more inadequite w/ each entry posted. good thing I can laugh at myself if matt ever posts them ;-) (personally, I think I should have thrown out 1 or 2 of my entries, but I was going for quantity, not quality, and it shows).

Quantity is job 1!

oh yea, I'm very impressed w/ all the photog entries, even the ones I haven't seen yet!

Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 06/06/2003 02:32 PM EST

Fat Daddy is a force of nature.

You can see Matt's exploits with the legend that is fat daddy here:

www.x-entertainment.com/messages/312.html

Like all things in nature, the cycle of life includes Fat Daddy through its endless machinations.
(evidence b:
www.x-entertainment.com/venusaur/part3.html)

Or just pokemon adventures...There's more fat daddy references (quiz, etc) I'm sure.

(btw Matt when are you getting your Fat Daddy T-shirt?)

My Excuse: I've been working temp jobs...a good number of months back my job required me to do nothing more than sit in front of a computer and tell people that I was a temp and couldn't help them. While the job only lasted two weeks I used that time to dig through the x-e archives...a lot of which don't have links...and was reborn that much geekier.

(so yes, the comment about the Fat Daddy figure storing Jawas is a reference to the Rancor review. Personally I put Luke's lightsaber there, calling his bluff-daring him to "use the force" and pull it out. I think Luke became known as the Rancor's bitch after a few games of this. God I hated Luke.)

Chestnuts roasted by OhGodtheRats @ 06/06/2003 03:05 PM EST

Experience the wonder of Fat Daddy:

The Quest for Bulbasaur! www.x-entertainment.com/messages/267.html

The Quest for Ivysaur! www.x-entertainment.com/messages/312.html

The Quest for Venusaur! www.x-entertainment.com/venusaur/trip.html

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 06/06/2003 03:24 PM EST

I don't really have anything to add, except that Fat Daddy is probably God or Zeus. Should I ever move to the US (and specifically Wildwood), it will be my mission in life to erect a temple in His greatness and write a holy book with his most insightful sayings (such as "That'll be one buck." and "Spin the wheel to win this ducky!").

Also, all these Photog Art Contest entries are ace. I salute thee.

Chestnuts roasted by JC @ 06/06/2003 06:34 PM EST

The people have spoken - Fat Daddy must be immortalized (which isn't to say that I believe he is mortal in his current "human" form) as a statue. It could be used as an idol for all Fat-Daddyists to worship while the sacred hands-down-pants ritual is performed.

Dibbs on not building it.

Chestnuts roasted by shinfifo @ 06/06/2003 09:17 PM EST

I love fat daddy, and I want to visit ww. and american sci-surplus, and maine, and atlantic city. damn mountain time zone....nothing funny here, we don't even have green bamboo!

Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 06/07/2003 02:24 PM EST

No Green Bamboo?! Man, Mountain Time sucks!

Chestnuts roasted by Onslaught Six @ 06/07/2003 05:33 PM EST

Fat Daddy may indeed be God. Can't you imagine rustic villagers sacrificing virgins to him?

Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 06/07/2003 06:40 PM EST

test

Chestnuts roasted by hand solo @ 06/07/2003 10:21 PM EST

I don't know Molten, I think they mostly sacrifice money to him.

Villagers: "Oh mighty Fat Daddy, please accept our offerings and bestow us with one of thy holy T-shirts!"
Fat Daddy: *fart*
Villagers: "A BLESSING!!"

Chestnuts roasted by JC @ 06/08/2003 06:30 AM EST

Money? Virgins?

Fat Daddy wants none of these things as his sacriment.

Bring him that which he most treasures: Feed him the bamboo peanut. Bring him your olive flavored fluff, you year old Hello Kitty salisbury steak....forget not to bring you Swanson's hearty man meal. This is what makes Fat Daddy Divine.

So how did you guys find this website.
(what's your excuse)
I found it through cruel.com's link to the Swanson Hungry man story.

Chestnuts roasted by Ohgodtherats @ 06/08/2003 08:10 AM EST

If I remember correctly, I located X-E about two years ago while looking for downloadable episodes of old cartoon series.

Been a loyal reader since.

Chestnuts roasted by JC @ 06/08/2003 08:24 AM EST

Hee. I wonder if Fat Daddy t-shirts are available in Baby Doll size.

I've often wondered what brought other people to the site. (And I don't mean a Google search). I was looking for an image of Cheetara from Thundercats to explain how close we all came to (or how narrowly we escaped?) being "Furries"-type fetishists. Anyway, back in the day, X-E was the only place with a full body shot of Cheetara that wasn't a fanart bondage pic. I think it was a few weeks later when I began to wonder what the hell kinda site would have a legitimate, non-porn picture of Cheetara, and I went through the search for the image again, and backtracked to the root URL. Then the wonder and awe of Green Bamboo, Fat Daddy and other mysteries of the universe were revealed to me.

Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 06/08/2003 11:48 AM EST

"Then the wonder and awe of Green Bamboo, Fat Daddy and other mysteries of the universe were revealed to me."

Don't forget The Worst Witch and Nad's Hair Removal Creme!

Chestnuts roasted by JC @ 06/08/2003 01:24 PM EST

This site made me subject my Greek friend to all the glorious Ghoulies movies.

The weird thing is:
The first isn't that bad.
The third makes me want to invent a time machine and abort someone personally.
:)

Chestnuts roasted by ohgodtherats @ 06/08/2003 06:55 PM EST

Did you check the second one? That's my personal fave in the series.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/08/2003 07:05 PM EST

We ended up watching all 4 on a weekend matinee in my living room. The second was the best.
The cat-thing with the switchblade followed by the "high Five" scene was classic...but the midgets running around in KKK red robes and a flying oversided frog fetus are really what sold me from the begining.
Munchies is a much worse film...(hint: that's my vote for reviews...though in all honesty I haven't seen Munchies since my voiced changed, so...)

Oh and just to cover them all: There was no Fourth Ghoulies movie. Midgets. Urban Legend, Fucking Midgets, local myth. Period.
On a more pleasant(?)note the second Ghoulie movie did have rectal death...there needs to be a database for this kind of thing.
Joe Bob Briggs on TNT's Monstervision used to keep a tally of all the deaths and hows...the toilet devourment has to be an uncommon if not rare one. I've seen it in one of the "Motel Hell" ripoffs and again in Silent Night Deadly Night (3 or 4). But never has it been done with such class a Ghoulies 2...

Chestnuts roasted by ohgodtheRats @ 06/08/2003 08:50 PM EST

Upon re-reading my own post I find it prudent to add the following in reference to my closing comments:

Not that I'm looking for that kind of thing in the movies I watch. (anal devourment that is)

Just so we're clear.

Chestnuts roasted by OhGodtheRats @ 06/08/2003 08:53 PM EST

I have been a silent fan for some time. But not long enough to know what "fat bastard" is about. Ung? Photog of course makes the silent speak and the blind see.

Chestnuts roasted by Samhain @ 06/09/2003 04:04 AM EST

Samhain, Fat Daddy will now smite thee for getting His name wrong and not knowing who He is in the first place. Enjoy the fires of hell.

Chestnuts roasted by JC @ 06/09/2003 07:20 AM EST

Fat Daddy's become urban legend to the recent generations...
It is Matt Law.

That way by the time Fat daddy reveals his nature and glorious form everyone is humbled.

Sort of like how you can only say so much about the bamboo peanut before people stop caring too much.

Chestnuts roasted by ohgodtherats @ 06/09/2003 09:29 AM EST

See the links posted above to learn of the magic and wonderment of Fat Daddy. You don't love X-E unless you love Fat Daddy.
After reading every single page of www.seanbaby.com over 1,400 times, I used my Google toolbar to seach for "similar pages". X-E was always the number one result, but I ignored it for a long time because I thought it was somehow porn related. Finally I gave in and have been addicted ever since.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 06/09/2003 03:10 PM EST

Hehe I found it in a roundabout ay...I was looking for a pic of Sleepwalker from Marvel comics, and found out weaintcool.com, which led me to www.poprocksandcoke.com, which for april fool's day did a spoof of what Mike Fireball thought was the "mother of all retro-article" sites or something like that,which happened to be X-E. (The spoof was that for a day he had his layout like Xe) :) So I checked it out, and have gone through the articles at a rough average of probalby 10 per day...I think I've read all the back ones by now lol :)

Chestnuts roasted by Kiften @ 06/10/2003 12:08 AM EST

A girl had the site as on of her links in a yahoo chat room. I clicked on it cause I thought it was porn. And its much better than porn! :-D I've read most of the entries sometimes spending whole weekends devoted to it.

My life has improved since reading the site. I've become more popular in the office, better educated on all things He-Man, was a runner up in a contest, and my penis has increased by 3 inches! (though I'm not sure how that happened)

Chestnuts roasted by Spiffy McKracken (aka Shane M Bryan) @ 06/10/2003 12:52 PM EST

I am now considering Katie Scott for my write-in candidate in the 2004 presidential election. That figure is divinely inspired.

Chestnuts roasted by elvee @ 06/14/2003 03:51 AM EST

I want to visit ww. and american sci-surplus, and maine...

Trust me...as a Maine resident, you don't want to visit here. There is nothing in this godforsaken state

NOTHING.

Chestnuts roasted by Toxic Oreo @ 06/15/2003 05:13 PM EST

i still want to see teela's tits

Chestnuts roasted by private dick @ 06/17/2003 12:08 PM EST