06/13/2003 Entry: "antennae........."

Have a nice weekend, everyone. Articles coming up next week include Batman Cereal and a look at the Water Ball Yo-Yo fiasco. See you then...

Chestnuts roasted by Paul @ 06/13/2003 02:32 PM EST

It's come to my attension that there is another guy named Paul here... So I'm just gonna have to go by my nickname! Big Paul is really an oxymoron. I'm really a moron.

Yeah, so I ran that shake song and the Fred commercial at the same time, and it looked like Fred and Santa Clause and Barney were singing the song. How freaky is that? Anyway, looking forward to any and all stories next week, and you have a good weekend too, Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Big Paul @ 06/13/2003 02:43 PM EST

Matt you gotta do the Toilet Duck commercials.

and fix the link for the Gravedale High video please.

Chestnuts roasted by Toilet Duck Dan @ 06/13/2003 02:51 PM EST

Screw all that! Matt, ya gots to do a review on that 90 minute McDonald's commercial/E.T. Ripoff. Of course, I'm refering to a little gem called "Mac & Me". C'mon, is there a movie out there more deserving of an X-E review that this turd? Shit, include a bonus download of that birthday party dance scene, and the hits to your site will never stop! Who's with me?

Cruiz out. >8^D
cruiz@scotsmanality.com

Chestnuts roasted by A-wel Cruiz @ 06/13/2003 03:06 PM EST

my name is barney and i'm here to say i love aphex twin in a major way.
if i were slicker i coulda worked the dm cover in there too... next tyme

Chestnuts roasted by u(b40)rquidez @ 06/13/2003 03:13 PM EST

Those flashing colors remind me of my favorite website. Go check this out ...

http://www.seizurerobots.com/

peace out.

Chestnuts roasted by Sknyluv @ 06/13/2003 03:14 PM EST

Who does that song? It is a catchy tune.

Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 06/13/2003 03:33 PM EST

FLASHING LIGHTS:

I'm sure everyone has been here already, but for the two people who haven't:

www.zombo.com

Remember. Just let it play.

Chestnuts roasted by OhgodtheRat @ 06/13/2003 05:03 PM EST

Colored lights can hypnotize.
Sparkle someone else’s eyes.
Now woman, I said get away.
American woman, listen what I say.

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 06/13/2003 05:24 PM EST

That Hulk ad is one of the most annoying ads ever.

Chestnuts roasted by Ubu Rex @ 06/13/2003 05:43 PM EST

Does anyone remember Zelda cereal? I just remember the box graphics looking like the game and the cereal being like crunch berries. Long live Sophia Petrillo.

Chestnuts roasted by phillip @ 06/13/2003 05:45 PM EST

You can download the commercial for Zelda Cereal at the end of the Nintendo Power article. :D

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/13/2003 05:47 PM EST

Can i ask something Matt have you seen the Toliet Duck commercials?

Chestnuts roasted by Toilet Duck Fan @ 06/13/2003 05:53 PM EST

Molten again: Remember, Tom Savini left and came back to do $ JUST O HAVE THE PLEASURE OF WASTING JASON.

Look out for the Crispin Glover cameo!Corkscrews=where it's at!

Chestnuts roasted by mojocat @ 06/13/2003 06:03 PM EST

Randomness:

I used to have piles of Archie comics... then when I moved out and left my things there for free storage my mom threw them away. *cry*

Chestnuts roasted by Lynn @ 06/13/2003 07:06 PM EST

NIN-TEN-DO! Haha, great commercial, Matt. 30 rupees to you... It's a secret to everybody.

Chestnuts roasted by phillip @ 06/13/2003 08:02 PM EST

I guess I was one of the two people who had never been to zombo.com and it scared the hell out of me.

Chestnuts roasted by Nina @ 06/13/2003 09:47 PM EST

Batman cereal tasted like crud. But the box was nice and glossy, and I remember it came with a plastic Batman bank.

I miss Gremlins cereal. Do you remember how that one tasted, Matt? It was decent from what I can vaguely remember, but knowing me, I probably only liked it cause Gizmo was on the box...

Chestnuts roasted by Death By Stereo @ 06/13/2003 11:25 PM EST

Thanks for the music and the vid, especially "Shake the Disease." Hey, you wouldn't happen to have a "Ice Cream Jones" floating around anywhere would you???

Chestnuts roasted by BotchieGulpe @ 06/14/2003 01:32 AM EST

Oh. my. God.

Crispin Glover was mentioned and I felt joy again.
Thank you.

(Willard (to name a recent gem) was fantastic)

Chestnuts roasted by OhgodtheRats @ 06/14/2003 08:50 AM EST

Lynn, I got tons of Archie comics...want 'em?

Chestnuts roasted by Teddy Ray @ 06/14/2003 11:05 AM EST

I hate archie, horray for jughead

Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 06/14/2003 02:19 PM EST

Aphex Twins kick motherfucking ass :)

Chestnuts roasted by Kiften @ 06/14/2003 06:21 PM EST

OGTR: I aim to please.

I'm a huge fan on Crispin's. Yes, mp3's and all.

The Big Problem changed my life.

Chestnuts roasted by mojocat @ 06/14/2003 06:27 PM EST

Ahhh, Batman cereal, like having a batarang scraped repeatedly against the roof of my mouth. Looking forward to reading, Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Wes @ 06/14/2003 06:43 PM EST

This Hulk ad has got to go... it's one of the most annoying, loud un-closable ads ever... and to add insult to injury, it SHAKES the fucking browser!! Yes, I want to feel seasick while I'm trying to read an article... Matt, UGO have gone too far with this one... IT PLAYS BADLY DISTORTED ROCK MUSIC WHILE SHAKING MY FUCKING BROWSER!! AHHHHH! ....ok now I feel better
Peace

-Broman

Chestnuts roasted by Broman @ 06/14/2003 10:31 PM EST

Holy crap: ten Friday the 13th movies. All finished. And it only took a little over a month.

Best unique plot while maintaining continuity: making Jason take over from Pamela (F13: I - F:13 II). Otherwise: continu-wha?

Funniest wouldn't it be funny if this was lesbian subtext bit: the supposedly "nurturing" mentor relationship between Miss Van Deusen and Rennie in F13: VIII (Manhattan).

Scariest sex scene: That One. In F13: X (Evil Upgrade). With the hairy guy and the lingerie and the...*blotting it out from my memory* Thanks for killing off the last lingering threat of my heterosexuality, Jason.

Bitchiest cocktease to meet the machete: Melissa, F13: VII (New Blood). The spoiled rotten one who put her mouth to two uses: bitching at telekinetic Tina (and every other female) and, well...you know.

Funniest peripheral characters: Ethel and Junior from F13: V (New Beginning).

Most surreal installment: Jason Dies For Real This Time. We Swear. (aka, F13: IX (Hell)). Dude! No crossovers with my man Freddy! Not until August 15th, anyway.

My secret shame that no one must ever know: I thought that F13: X was actually kind of funny/clever in its own way. And the robot was kind of hot, even if her nipples did fall off.

nipples nipples nipples bitner bitner bitner. Sorry, I'll stop.

tits tits tits. Sorry.

You know how Crispin Glover went from being a teen heart throb wannabe to playing psychos? Well, he sorta didn't: when he was going on in that simmering psycho, slow-burn, monotone voice about "I told you not to call me a limp fuck. It makes me angry." I was vicariously shooing the pot-smoking, pre-marital-sex-having teens away from him as much as from Jason.

Otherwise, pretty fun ('cause it's not me) even for a Freddy fan. I actually enjoyed the repetitive stuff: "Oo! Here comes the In Through The Window kill. Aaaaand, there goes the Out Through The Window kill." Can't wait to show my (very indulgent) girlfriend the Elm Street series.

Broman -- brace yourself, 'cause that ad is getting more and more common across the web. Here's a machete: find the people who came up with that ad. ;)

Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 06/14/2003 11:04 PM EST

Yeah you were really going to see Crispen Glover on the cover of Tiger Beat or some shit. That is one weasley dude.
Crispen Glover Fun Fact: He played George McFly, Marty McFly's father in Back to the Future 1 & 2. In reality he is aprox. 3 years younger than Michael J Fox.

As if anyone gave a rats ass about that. Sorry.

Chestnuts roasted by Devin Butler @ 06/15/2003 03:31 AM EST

I'm just not very good at....confrontations.

Chestnuts roasted by Kev @ 06/15/2003 08:22 AM EST

Actually, Crispen was only George McFly in BTTF 1. They had a guy who looked and sounded like him in the old people makeup for the George McFly stuff in the future scenes of part 2, and used footage and a of part 1 and a stand-in for the 1955 scenes later on in BTTF 2.

Chestnuts roasted by Rob @ 06/15/2003 09:18 AM EST

anybody notice the mention of xe on fark the other day? all about the monopoly Playmaster

Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 06/15/2003 01:53 PM EST

Yeah, Rob your right. Jeffery Wiseman plays Old George McFly (thats how hes credited)in 2. My bad. They fooled me thought. I watched the dinner scene again after you posted that. He is in heavy makeup, but the way they pull it off is the voice. He sounds identical.

Chestnuts roasted by Devin Butler @ 06/15/2003 08:05 PM EST

Yeah, I was fooled too, at least until I got the BTTF Trilogy on DVD :)

Chestnuts roasted by Rob @ 06/15/2003 10:48 PM EST

"Yabba Dabba fruit, delicious doo!" Thanks, I had only just stopped humming that last week.

I know how you can fix the roof-of-your-mouth tenderness thing Matt. Just stop by Frankie's Pizza on Ditmar's in Astoria, and take a big bite before it cools off. I haven't had any sensation up there since the Fruity Pebbles Christmas thanks to Frankie.

covertrockstar@yahoo.com

Chestnuts roasted by covertrockstar @ 06/15/2003 11:48 PM EST

Boy, I didn't think the Hulk ad was that bad :D

Chestnuts roasted by Kiften @ 06/16/2003 12:36 PM EST

if it wasn't for XE, I wouldn't know about Fark. but for some... if it wasn't for Fark, they wouldn't know about XE.

Matt's stuff is always on Fark. Once a week I would say... If the fark people put it up. My main complaint, is they never put his funniest stuff up.

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 06/16/2003 01:40 PM EST

same here, I wouldn't know about fark if it wasn't linked here. the only thing I've ever thought was funny there is the photoshops, and those are nowhere near as good as somethingawefull

Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 06/16/2003 02:31 PM EST

Hey Matt,
Long time reader and fan of your writing, first time poster. :) I just had to recommend this to you: a little known movie called "Purple People Eater." Based on the song. With Neil Patrick Harris and Screech from SBtB. No, I'm not making this up and it's as laughably horrid as it sounds. Hope you can find a copy as it's probably pretty scarce, but trust me, it's well worth it.

Chestnuts roasted by mustard-a @ 06/16/2003 05:59 PM EST

This has tro be my favorite blog entry ever~! leading to Crispin Glover references(onward!) BTTF info( i already knew that but how cool is it anyways?(shut up)) adn aphex twin, mmmm, my sphincter is vibrating something wonderful now~! nipples nipples nipples bitner bitner bitner bitner bitner

oh look! The coffee mug from heartbeeps! ~ Homer simpson

Chestnuts roasted by Smalls @ 06/16/2003 06:45 PM EST

Speaking of Crispin Glover (as all good people should be) what's this I hear about him faking a karate kick to David Letterman's head and then being conspicuously gone once they returned from commercial break? I'm sure everyone in the universe saw this or heard about it but me.

I had completely forgotten that Crispin played Marty McFly's dad and that was one of my fave movies when I was a kid. I learned the word "bastard" from it, and promptly had my mouth washed out. And I've been cussing ever since. Awwwww. Can't get enough of that sweet taste of lye.

bitner bitner bitner nipples nipples nipples. (But not Bitner's nipples. Ew. Not that there's anything wrong with that).

Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 06/16/2003 06:58 PM EST

Molten, I'm sure that clip is floating around the internet somewhere. Was about 10 years ago, a decidedly...agitated Crispin Glover came on the show. In the middle of the interview for some reason Glover stood up and shouted "I'm strong...and I can KICK!" (a phrase which has become a personal mantra of mine over the years) and threw an awkward karate kick at Letterman's head. They went to commercial break, and when they came back Glover was gone.

I believe he was on a few nights later, and though just as weird (he was displaying his homemade wind-up toys featuring little baby heads attached to monstrous grotesque bodies), there were no karate kicks and everyone went home happy.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy Henderson @ 06/16/2003 08:31 PM EST

Since people really seem to enjoy Crispin talk, I rather enjoyed his performance in the 1986 film River's Edge, also starring Keanu Reeves and Dennis Hopper. He was on top of his game for that role.

Chestnuts roasted by Rob @ 06/17/2003 12:26 AM EST

This is off the Glover talk (hey, no Danny? He beat a Predator!), but am I the only one (not counting colleagues at work) that is already tired of HULK before it even comes out and disappoints us in theatres? The green-skinned purple-boxer wearing giant is absolutely everywhere, and it's to the point where I hate the Green Lantern by proxy. Plus the ads and trailers do not bode well for the quality of the CGI (and I don't care what they say, how the hell does he manage to keep those Barney-skin cullottes from shredding?).

I needed to vent. I figured this was a good crowd to vent my Bitnerness to. And don't worry, I still love the HULK merchandise articles featuring the pinata. At least some good has come out of it all.

I am also down with Molten's fascination with nipples. And I agree that girls have better ones.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 06/17/2003 01:19 AM EST

Man-nipples were a mistake. A big mistake. Had mine surgically removed.

Hulk-Mania Runnin' Wild On Your Popup! OHHHH YEAHHH!

Chestnuts roasted by covertrockstar @ 06/17/2003 01:49 AM EST

While searching online for a rare video yesterday, I happened upon a site with a personal video list. Since it was one of three sites that actually had the video title I was looking for, I proceeded foward. There was nothing special about the list, but something told me to backspace the URL and see what kind of site it was on. It lead to a site that claims to be a theatre and filmworks company. No big deal, but as I quickly scolled down there seemed to be something unusual, something Bitneresque. One of the links at the very bottom where I stopped scrolling led to the owner's original site, and it seems he was/is a historian of all
things L. Frank Baum (Wizard of Oz): http://mywebpages.comcast.net/scottandrewh/oldhome.html
From there I scrolled back up and clicked on Bio:
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/scottandrewh/bio.html
His professional potrait photo told me to go back to the main page and scoll down more slowly.
I stopped at "Scripts Completed or in Progress" and then it jumped out at me:
Monster in My Pocket (screenplay, in progress, currently 251 pages)
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/scottandrewh/mimpfilm.html
Were my eyes being deceived? No, Mr. Scott Andrew Hutchins has his dream cast and crew already plotted out for his own live-action adaptation of what, in my humble opinion, was little more than a poor knock-off of M.U.S.C.L.E. Now I do realize that the internet is full of dream casts for movies, but Mr. Hutchins gets an "Honorary Bitner Award for Non-Linear Life Path" by casting in his dream movie the likes of Grant Shaud (Murphy Brown), Philip Glass, Arsenio Hall, Charlotte Church, David L. Lander (Squiggy from Laverne & Shirley), LeVar Burton, Billy Connolly (Head of the Class), and of course Ewan McGregor as the voice of Loch Ness Monster.

I had to get away before it was too late. I checked one of my bookmarks, Figures.com, and saw another fright:
"Monster In My Pocket Returns"
http://www.figures.com/databases/action.cgi?setup_file=fignews2.setup&category=actionfigures&topic=6&show_article=1160

From there I turned off my computer and went outside to make sure it was still there.

Upon returning to the web today, I checked X-E archives for an article on the subject and sure enough Mighty Matt had the topic covered three years ago:
http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/458.html

Chestnuts roasted by Concerned Citizen @ 06/17/2003 05:13 AM EST

My personal fave cereal is the Zelda/ Super Mario Bros two-pack, like Nerds packaging. Hey, Molten, the robot chick from Jason X is a regular in the Uber-great TV show Andromeda. Look it up, it's super! I too enjoyed Jason X, very fuuny. And the liquid nitrogen death was great! Well, I'm off to kill Crisp... no, DANNY Glover, with a machete! Bye!

Chestnuts roasted by Bansheex @ 06/18/2003 03:16 PM EST

I looked into the infamous Crispin glover appearance on Letterman...
http://www.waxy.org/archive/2003/03/13/crispin_.shtml
The best part? A transcript! Now you can reenact one of late night TV's most awkward moments with your friends! Just don't get in a fight over who gets to be Paul Shaffer...

Chestnuts roasted by phillip @ 06/19/2003 06:09 PM EST

The things a person can learn and discover on X-E are boundless. Could X-Entertainment be the 'til-now mythical Philosopher's Stone?

Also? Horizontal stripes make Crispin Glover look a little chunky around the thighs. Not that I want to get catty on Crispin. He's STRONG!, don't you know?

Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 06/19/2003 10:48 PM EST

Does anyone know when the movie Willard is released on dvd?

Chestnuts roasted by bizzy @ 08/18/2003 11:58 PM EST

Does anyone know when the movie Willard is released on dvd?

Chestnuts roasted by bizzy @ 08/18/2003 11:58 PM EST

Does anyone know when the movie Willard is released on dvd?

Chestnuts roasted by bizzy @ 08/18/2003 11:58 PM EST

Does anyone know when the movie Willard is released on dvd?

Chestnuts roasted by bizzy @ 08/18/2003 11:59 PM EST

go to my homepage silly Back to the future fans!

look for bttfjunkie85

Chestnuts roasted by The junkie @ 03/22/2004 05:29 PM EST

You guys forgot to mention Violet from Pt 5. Arguably the most memorable character - she broke out into some pseudo new-wave robot dance right before her demise. And she had two toned crimped hair!

Chestnuts roasted by Brando @ 06/14/2004 02:27 AM EST

Devin Butler, what dinner scene in BTTF do you mean? If you mean that you rewatched the dinner scene in the first BTTF (in the beginning), then you're wrong, it's Crispin Glover there. If you mean, the dinner scene (before the dinner scene actually) in the second BTTF where Marty and Doc and Jennifer are in the future, then you're right, it's not Crispin Glover.

Chestnuts roasted by Tanya @ 06/22/2004 02:28 PM EST

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Chestnuts roasted by chase master card @ 11/05/2004 02:12 AM EST