08/31/2003 Entry: "New Article: Cookie Puss Ice Cream Cakes!"

I'm not sure how many of you have Carvel ice cream stores around, but those who do are likely familiar with "Cookie Puss," the cake from outer space! Learn all about this last vestige of interplanetary dessert fun, including some pics from extremely old commercials that show the progression of Cookie Puss' Cookie Puss head throughout the years. Oh, and coming up next week: a review of a certain new toy that's making waves with fans for being so...god...damned...big. You can guess, but if not, you'll see.

http://www.amiannoying.com/2001/view.asp?ID=1566
http://www.alicubi.com/articles/tv50.html
42. TOM CARVEL COMMERCIALS (approx. 1980-1989). The Carvel Ice Cream chain was owned and operated by Tom Carvel, who apparently thought the absolute best person to do the voice-overs on his shitty commercials was himself. In tones rich with phlegm and false bonhomie, TC incompetently impersonated novelty ice-cream cake characters ("I'm Fudgy the Whaaaaale!") and told lousy jokes ("Now I know you can't eat a banjo"). Makes one appreciate the cool professionalism of Dave Thomas.

Chestnuts roasted by Fudgie @ 08/31/2003 10:06 PM EST

I'm afraid the only Carvels in South Jersey are grocery store freezers filled with generic birthday cakes and the occasional seasonal happy sun, flower, or snowman. Fudgie the Whale and Cookie Puss are new to me. I will admit that Cookie Puss is one of the most...interesting...cakes I've ever seen, ice cream or otherwise.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 08/31/2003 11:49 PM EST

Darn you Matt! If this is what I think this means, it means you now have Unicron AND Evil-Lyn! Curses!

But, perhaps I have evened the score?

I was going up towards Bridgewater Commons (Mall) on Rt. 22 and on the way, in one of the many strip malls what could be a form of $1 paradise. Well, close to it anyway.
At "Everything's A Dollar" (I think that was the name) was one of the coolest Dollar Store toy sections ever.
They had:
Bootleg Spider Man / Superheroes Figures
Bootleg Lord of the Rings figures
Bootleg and faily lame Westler Figures
And lots of random crap.

But the point was it also included two very important things: The Infamous Ivan Ooze Knuckle Extruder and a fine looking toy gun.

The toy gun looked 'cool' enough so I purchased it. Afterwards, I noticed that it had mighty features. Such as 'Handsome Appearence'. And it says 'Senior Toys Gun' on the side.

I think I can say I evened the score, Evil-Lyn ~ Interesting Toy Gun...

Bah, maybe not. I looked through TRU and they had the new repaints but no Lyn. But I did pick up the Space Minicon Team (that forms the Requiem Blaster, hooray!) and Blurr, the awsome flying car.

So at least....I um.....did SOMETHING!

In the meantime, did you ever visit 'Everything's A Dollar'?
Also, if you are reading this, where is that TRU you said still had the "old" look??

Chestnuts roasted by Ian, Just Ian @ 09/01/2003 12:17 AM EST

The newfangled Cookie Puss doesn't seem to share the same 'layered' quality as the old ones. Do they come in different varieties? Like, a Chocolate Cookie puss?

Also, I commend you at not giving in to the desire to make lewd comments about the nature of his name. Congrats.

Chestnuts roasted by Evin @ 09/01/2003 01:07 AM EST

Yep, looks like Carvel's primarily an east coast thing. anyone west of the Illinois/Iowa border is pretty much outta luck, unless they're in Southern CA.

Chestnuts roasted by tromaboy @ 09/01/2003 01:09 AM EST

Anyone remember the fake "Cluckin' Chicken" commercial from Saturday Night Live about 10 years ago? ("Then I'm flame-broiled. Hey, I'm good!") Could it possibly be that the way that Cluckin' Chicken's animated severed head floated around the Cluckin' Chicken employees was sorta vaguely spoofing the way the animated Cookie Puss floated around the guy with the ice cream maker, because that's what that still pic reminds me exactly of?

Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 09/01/2003 01:10 AM EST

When I was in New York, I saw a lot of Carvel stores. But here in Sacramento, CA, haven't seen a damn Carvel store yet. Yep. It's probably an east coast thing.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 09/01/2003 01:41 AM EST

Hey, I've never posted here before, but I just wanted to say "Cookie Puss."

Cookie Puss.

There.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeffster @ 09/01/2003 01:43 AM EST

Hey, I'm a VERY long time reader, and a first time writer.

I just wanted to say that you have incredible timing, Matt. Either that, or just pure coincidental luck is on your side.

Up until today, I had NEVER heard of Cookie Puss. Not once, not even a mention or anything of this seemingly delicious cake. Then, I came for my daily dose of X-Entertainment and read the article. After reading it, I had a very distinct craving for a Cookie Puss cake. However, since I have never seen and/or heard of a Carvel, my cravings went by the wayside as the day went along.

Now with Cookie Puss totally out of my memory, I was browsing through the TV Guide channel looking for something to watch late night. To my delight, Comedy Central was running a delicious block of cartoons including The Clerks (it's a shame the cartoon never took off like it should have), Dilbert (only good in small doses, but funny none the less), Gary and Mike (eh, don't care), and finally The Critic.

Incase you don't know Matt, the Critic was a cartoon in 1994 featuring the voice of Jon Lovitz as film critic Jay Sherman. The show never really took off, as ABC put it before one of it's anchors at the time, Home Improvement. Following that, Fox purchased it and killed it off almost as quick as they killed off the greatest cartoon of all time, Family Guy.

Alright, now my brief history lesson of The Critic is out of the way. Anyway, the episode that was on tonight was "A Day at the Races and a Night at the Opera." Since I don't watch a whole lot of TV, this was only the third time I have ever seen The Critic. Anyways, in the middle of the episode, Sherman makes his son take Judo lessons. Sherman proclaims "besides, for every class you take, I get a free Cookie Puss ice cream cake" as he happily shows a coupon with Cookie Puss on it. My jaw just about dropped and I doubled over in laughter. Later on in the episode, Sherman's son learns that his judo instructor is this big ass samuri demon of some sort, I dunno. He promptly quits the judo class, but later on the samuri demon is sitting there HOLDING UP A COOKIE PUSS ICE CREAM CAKE and yells "Cookie Puss, I shall eat your soul!!!" Need I say that I was stunned.

You, Matt, are a god. Not THEE God, but a god none the less. Hell, come to think of it, I think I will actually start worshipping you starting tomorrow.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate frickin' Albright @ 09/01/2003 02:05 AM EST

that has to be one of the funniest moments in the critics history. now that i know what the hell a cookie puss is, it's even funnier! yey for context! superglue! aaaaaaaaaahhh!

Chestnuts roasted by vitkus! @ 09/01/2003 03:36 AM EST

"Cookie Puss" is a really early song by the Beastie Boys.

Its based off a prank call to Carvel, asking for a person named "Cookie Puss" and asking for "her" number. It has an oddly sexual name, and thats what made the song funny. its just a beat with the recording of the call layed over it.

go download it.

Chestnuts roasted by Red And Black @ 09/01/2003 03:54 AM EST

It's not Unicron... it's Herbie, the Giant Half Ogre/Half Banana Mutant. At 16 and a half inches tall, and over 40 inches wide and made out of solid yellow, banana scented plastic, the toy fan community is going BONKERS over it.

Chestnuts roasted by O G Nate o Mac @ 09/01/2003 04:11 AM EST

Herbie? I was betting on a life-sized Boogie Nights action figure (Kung-Fu grip!).

Chestnuts roasted by "Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?" @ 09/01/2003 06:14 AM EST

I have lived in NY and had carvel all my life, but never had cookie puss. My girlfreind moved here a few years ago and was intrigued with him when she first went to carvel. After this pussery review, we must have it.

Chestnuts roasted by Danny @ 09/01/2003 08:44 AM EST

"No Carvel's here in WV that I know of either."

Hoody whoo! Another person from WV with net acess. And its true that WV is acking in the frozen dariy procucts . You would be hard pressed to find even a icecream man outside of our three big cities and forget getting boardwalk style soft serve. Its rock hard scoops from a $5 gallon pail of plain flavors or nothing.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mango @ 09/01/2003 10:14 AM EST

i'm sure a lot of us have scrambled to the Carvel homepage, so i'll save some of you the trouble. this is the address to find Carvel store locations (ones with ice cream cakes, anyway):

http://carvel.know-where.com/carvel/USc.html

i'm pleased to see there are some in Maine. i've barely even heard of Carvel before, but i vaguely remember some sort of glorious multi-layered clowny head ice cream cake from when i lived in CA. the map supports that it may have been a Cookie Puss.

i think i will name my next cat Cookie Puss.

Chestnuts roasted by zann @ 09/01/2003 11:16 AM EST

Satoshi, the Eater of Souls
http://www.leenite.org/thecritic/graphics/satcookp.jpg

Chestnuts roasted by Bryan @ 09/01/2003 01:13 PM EST

You poor sad bastards who've never experienced the joys of Cookie Pus and Fudgy the Whale. I pity you.

The big problem with Cookie Puss is that at birthday parties the damned cake ALWAYS started a fight over who got to eat the nose and eyes. Generally dibs on the nose-cone went to the birthday kid, which would just make everyone else at the party furious with envy.

Fudgy was a much more egalitarian choice.

The best birthday cake ever was the one my grandmother made when I was 7, in the shape of Darth Vader's head. She even made black frosting to go with it (just add some blue food coloring to chocolate frosting).

Chestnuts roasted by Hellpop! @ 09/01/2003 01:46 PM EST

Obviously, I meant Cookie "Puss" in my above post, not Cookie "Pus". My apologies for the disgusting visual there.

Chestnuts roasted by Hellpop! @ 09/01/2003 01:47 PM EST

growing up on Long Island, NY, we had carvel everywhere, including the somewhat distrubing cookie puss, their ice cream cakes ruled, you were always cool if you had a carvel ice cream cake at your birthday parties!!! the chocolate cookie crunch in the middle was to cream for!

Chestnuts roasted by sugarpine @ 09/01/2003 02:10 PM EST

My grandfather got a generic Carvel ice cream cake every year for his birthday. Every year, I went to the local Carvel with my grandmother a few hours before the part to pick up the cake. Every year, I asked if we could get one of the cool cakes. But I have never gotten to experience the glory that is Cookie Puss.

Chestnuts roasted by jigsaw @ 09/01/2003 03:55 PM EST

At my birthday parties we'd have a Carvel cake, but it was always a sheet cake with the crispy stuff in the middle and a personalized icing greeting on top.

Tom Carvel may have had an annoying voice, but you gotta admit it was memorable. How many Baskin Robbins announcers can you recall 15 years later?

I remember growing up thinking he was Joe Franklyn from WOR Channel 9

Chestnuts roasted by Garrison @ 09/01/2003 03:58 PM EST

I also seem to remember Carvel trotting out a hybrid cake christened "Cookie O'Puss" around March for St. Patrick's Day. ANyone know if they still do this?

Chestnuts roasted by DJ Maniak @ 09/01/2003 05:22 PM EST

Next year'll be the first time I celebrate St. Patrick's if you're right.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 09/01/2003 05:23 PM EST

Man, we used to have like three Carvels around me. One was this really old 50's looking one, with big glass windows the poles going up at a diagonal angle. It was on the way to my aunts house, so we never went there. I think it closed own though. Then there was one that we always went to that was near the movie theater, and that one's gone now too. That one's an appointment only snooty animal hospital. Then theres one down in the business district in Elizabeth that's right ont eh corner. I think it's still there, maybe I shoudl go.

Well, theres also the Carvel endcap freezer at Acme, but I don't think they have any Cookie Pusses there.

I SO miss Channel 9 and 11 from back then too, before they got taken over by UPN and WB. Joe Franklin Show, Channel 9 News in the crappy "set", Steampipe Alley, Godzilla movies I could never watch because they were on when I was in school. BAH. Why does TV have to keep chaning so much :( Stupid kids needing flashy graphics and happy news anchos giving stories about happy puppies being born in the stomach of an alligator. Whatever.

Chestnuts roasted by Lim @ 09/01/2003 06:11 PM EST

I wonder if Carvel ships out to the west. The cake looks scary, but I can image it tastes great.

Hey Matt, did you eat all of the cake? Or did you just toss it after the article?

Chestnuts roasted by Heathtown @ 09/01/2003 06:16 PM EST

Umm, excuse me? "Mr.I-Always-Had-Cookie-Puss-For-My-Birthdays"? I think not:

http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/386.html

The tape says otherwise, complete with dishwasher detergent.

Chestnuts roasted by "No, he didn't toss it after the article, he gave the dregs to his humble civil-servant, the mailman." @ 09/01/2003 07:44 PM EST

That's the backup cake!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 09/01/2003 08:04 PM EST

Heath: it's still sitting in the freezer. It's main purpose was actually for my g/f's b-day, but as anyone whose had a Carvel cake should know, the ice cream is very...hmmm..."whippish." A LITTLE TOO WHIPPISH.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 09/01/2003 08:16 PM EST

Cookie O'Puss!!! Damn, I do remember that. I don't know how I failed to laugh for a week everytime I heard that name as a kid, because it really is about the funniest damn name in the history of the universe.

If I recall, they put a little leprechaun hat on him and covered the whole thing in green frosting to make the transformation to O'Puss.

Sadly the holiday section of Carvel's website doesn't have C O'P, but their Santa cake bears a suspicious resemblance to Fudgy.

Chestnuts roasted by Hellpop! @ 09/01/2003 09:30 PM EST

Ok, I already did Cookie Pus, here's disturbing image #2:
http://carvel.know-where.com/carvel/USc.html

Don't the little dots on that map signifying Carvel locations look disturbingly like herpes blisters or something?

Chestnuts roasted by Hellpop! @ 09/01/2003 09:33 PM EST

Oh, and for those without Carvels nearby, you're still quite able to have your own Cookie Puss:

http://delivery.carvel.com/product.asp?0=206&1=231&3=24

Awesome. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 09/01/2003 09:42 PM EST

Any chance of putting one of the Carvel commercials on the download page?

Chestnuts roasted by Richard @ 09/01/2003 10:35 PM EST

My mom would never buy me a Carvel cake or other ice cream cake for my birthday because of the melting issue. I always wanted to get a cookie puss because of the ads, too. Now I don't live in a Carvel market and $75+ is a bit much to have one delivered to Texas. Though it will probably make my craving worse, I would also enjoy seeing an old-school Carvel advert on the site.

Chestnuts roasted by Kit @ 09/01/2003 11:45 PM EST

Hey Matt, did you check out the shipping costs for a Cookie Puss? Getting one sent here to Florida would be $55, and that isn't even adding in the cost of the cake itself.

Fortunately, I have a Carvel ice cream store about 5 miles away.

Chestnuts roasted by Hellpop! @ 09/02/2003 12:43 AM EST

One reason for Cookie Puss's invention is that Carvel could use the flower basket ice cream mold year round instead of just during spring/Mother's day. I think all of the Carvell cakes shared molds. Fudgy the Whale's tail became Santa's hat, and Cookie Puss is turned upside down, remove the eyes and you have a basket of flowers shape. There were others...I think a witch and black cat for Holloween.

Chestnuts roasted by Garrison @ 09/02/2003 06:30 AM EST

tom carvel is dead but his legacy lives on. the cookiepuss a chamber for his evil soul. or not.

Chestnuts roasted by msa @ 09/02/2003 08:52 AM EST

I just had to mention that every year, I'm involved in a scavenger hunt and last year - one of the items was a Cookie Puss or Fudgie The Whale cake. As one of my team-mates was running from Carvel with our Fudgie cake (ordered Cookie Puss, but another team picked it up) they were tackled and thrown into a huge puddle by yet another opposing team member to try and take it from them. Luckily - my team prevailed and we brought a huge melty glob of chocolate ice cream cake back to the finish line. Thank god the judges accepted it after what we had all gone through. By the way it turns out it was my cousin that took our Cookie Puss cake.

Chestnuts roasted by carthai @ 09/02/2003 09:34 AM EST

Wow, I only have the Beastie Boys song. So sad... Maybe I could make my own Halloween cookie puss with strawberry ice cream. Maybe we should all make our own cookie puss's and email Matt nifty photos. Hmm, a new contest perhaps? I missed my opportunity for a original fake celebrity autographed sketch...

Chestnuts roasted by spazzamatic @ 09/02/2003 10:36 AM EST

"Following that, Fox purchased it and killed it off almost as quick as they killed off the greatest cartoon of all time, Family Guy."

Two things:

1) The Critic was indeed pretty funny, and The Family Guy is insanely funny. Excellent show, can't wait for the 3rd season DVD next week. The one where Peter is worried when he finds out Chris has a huge wang... classic.

"Look what you did to him, Lois!"
"What *I* did to him?!"
"Well there certainly aren't any enormous penis genes on MY side of the family!"

2) The Family Guy will NEVER be the greatest cartoon of all time. No cartoon has ever been more clever than The Simpsons at its prime, with the possible exception of the classic Warner Brothers Looney Tunes/Merry Melodies shorts. There's your top two right there. Set in stone.

Now, who remembers Duckman? THERE'S a cartoon begging for a DVD release...

-D

"Well well, if it isn't Jay Sherman and his band a' hooligans! Did you blow up Carnegie Hall?"
".....Yes, officer."
"Well, I'll let yeh go this time, but do it again and I'll box yer ears! Ah, they're good kids, they are."

"Back off, fat boy, or I'll spork your ass!"

Chestnuts roasted by The Lucky One @ 09/02/2003 10:55 AM EST

yup! sex sells!

It is so wrong that this type of thing is created.

Chestnuts roasted by sdghwrth @ 09/02/2003 06:11 PM EST

Damn You Matt! and not just you but me too. It's 3 in the AM and I have a craving for cookie puss! Anywho, interesting and quick story about the (former) Carvel in my area. For whatever reason the guy who owned it got cheesed with the Carvel people so he changed the name to CARniVAL. Yeah, no subtlty there right? Anywho, all the signs in the shop are the same as is the taste of the sweet soft serve ice cream.

Oh yeah, and one more quick thing about Soft Serve. If you ever see a place advertise 24 Flavors of Soft Serve RUN AWAY! They are cheap bastiches with their cones. You want a decent size "flavor burst" as their called, go for the places that only advertise 10 Flavors. I swear you get 6 Inches of soft serve for like 1.50.

LET THE DIRTY JOKES COMMENCE!

Chestnuts roasted by Lumberjack Matt @ 09/03/2003 02:53 AM EST

I'm pretty new to this site and this is my first post. But I had to speak up, though, because I was watching a rerun of the Critic last night and IT WAS THE COOKIE PUSS EPESODE! I cracked up when I saw it, now understanding the back story a little bit better. And I thought it was just funny that you post this and it's suddenly on TV.

"Cookie Puss! I will now eat your soul!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Travis @ 09/04/2003 02:22 PM EST

Man, that nose looks very phallic. They should be ashamed of marketing that. I am starting a boycott!

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 09/04/2003 04:53 PM EST

Oh, Jeff. Why would a cookie 'puss' have a male phallic symbol?....
Wait....
Um, just a second....
Oh, God. It's Mexico City all over again!

Chestnuts roasted by Travis @ 09/05/2003 01:29 PM EST

howdy
this is just a request for a review of a toy line I forgot the name but here goes the description......

1.disect an alien toy-this was a cabbage patch size alien that had a split stomach filled with removable organs and included palastic surgery tools and green slime, fucking excellent stuff.

2.melt an alien-this was truly insane you make aliens by covering the plastic skeletons with green and brown clay skin. after this you drop them in a clear tank of water -like a sea monkey tank- drop in the special powder and you get to watch the skin peel and melt of the alien leaving the only the original skeleton. majestic

please let me know witha post or an article if you heard or had these toys cause i loved em

Chestnuts roasted by scortched earth @ 09/07/2003 07:09 AM EST

I'm from upstate and very familiar with the Carvel commercials, although I never had a Cookie Puss cake. I was just reminded of them when I saw a commercial for Garden State brick, where they make fake brick coverings for your house, very tacky. But they are still around, unfortunately the Cookie Puss commercials are gone. If anyone has a copy of a commercial, I would love to see it. I'm going to review my old VCR tapes, because I taped everything on TV, so maybe, just maybe there will be a Cookie Puss commercial. I never had a Cookie Puss cake, but I always wanted one when I was a kid. Those commercials were insane and eerie, but somehow attractive. Although many of you feel that the name Cookie Puss is dirty or sexual, having known Cookie Puss forever, I have never felt that way, sorry.

Chestnuts roasted by michele812@hotmail.com @ 06/07/2004 09:25 PM EST

I PITY U ALL UNBELIEVERS LET THE
MASTER DEAL WITH U.LET DARKNESS RAIN 4 10,000 YEARS AND MORE IF HE SO DESIRES

Chestnuts roasted by STEPHEN666MASTEROFTHEBEAST @ 07/01/2004 10:54 AM EST

I PITY U ALL UNBELIEVERS LET THE
MASTER DEAL WITH U.LET DARKNESS RAIN 4 10,000 YEARS AND MORE IF HE SO DESIRES

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