11/07/2003 Entry: "E.T.'s Chips Ahoy Cookies? And more!"

Working on a new article soon; not the "big one" I keep talking about -- that's for next week. Anyway, I was delving deep into the recesses of all my old backup CDs and shit, and was floored by some of the stuff I'd saved over the years. The best part was finding tons of old materials intended for X-E articles that just never came to fruition. Here's an image collection of particular interest -- a few years ago, we went to Toys 'R' Us, camera in hand, archiving the sights and sounds (well, just the sights) of their massive E.T. section.

This was in conjunction with the 20th anniversary release, but since the merchandising blitz preceded the movie's re-release, the photos are from 2001. (could be wrong, but fairly certain) More amazing than anything else is the fact that most of the toys were incredibly high-priced -- some E.T. statues going for well over a hundred -- but as the anniversary edition more or less flopped and the expected legion of new toy-buying kid fans never quite surfaced, everything was and is still being liquidated at discounts of up to 90% off the original price. I bought almost none of this crap when it first came out, but have since collected virtually all of it. The 150 buck E.T. statues were 20 dollars or less, and the smaller items had even more significant markdowns.

Profit margins notwithstanding, the reason E.T.'s new merchandise has to be considered a failure is because of the immense attention it received -- with the amount of floor space and intricate setups it was given in stores, it either had to be a sales leader or be thought of as a total flop. The most interesting item by far? E.T.'s "Chips Ahoy!" cookies...

God...why didn't I save a bag of these? Why why why why why? I wish I wasn't so poor a few years ago. Hard to justify buying bags of E.T. cookies when you shouldn't have even been at Toys 'R' Us 'cause your gas tank was empty and you had no money to fill it. But that's your story, not mine. "Chips Ahoy! E.T. Glow Blasts" were amazing -- they were the same cookies everyone's familiar with, just with yellowish, candy-coated chocolate "Glow Blasts" added on top. The package was foil-embossed, and the look on E.T.'s mug explains that the poor guy had no idea his reemergence was going to be such a piss in the wind.

Click "more" for "more." Toy store aficionados have probably grown accustomed to only seeing E.T. merchandise shoved in the bag with half-ripped packages and huge "TAKE ME HOME" red clearance stickers all over 'em, so let's voyage back to the space alien's brighter days...

I ended up buying the Drew Barrymore figure (and most of the other stuff) when it hit the clearance racks. She showed up on the site later, in this article. The E.T. figure itself also turned up, in my tribute to Blaster, of all places.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 11/07/2003 05:11 PM EST

Yeah, I'm in Canada too and I never heard of or saw any of this stuff in stores.

Chestnuts roasted by geffin98 @ 11/07/2003 05:42 PM EST

Sav-On had cocoa bats, but I don't know if there'd be any left now. Also, I'm in CA, and not sure where you are, so no idea if that's any help.

Chestnuts roasted by Milke @ 11/07/2003 06:16 PM EST

I'm from the States, and I don't remember any of this crap. Maybe it's more because I'm too old to go into a Toys R Us. I get my toys from gaming stores, instead.

Did they have any guns-transformed-into-walkie-talkies for sale?

And, all that E.T. merchandise reminds me of the same Hulk merchandise I still see in supermarkets. The Hulk's face is still plastered onto bags of cookies and boxes of Jello. It kinda makes me feel sad for the guy. He was supposed to be so big, but no. It seems so hard to find successful movie tie-ins anymore...

Chestnuts roasted by Evan @ 11/07/2003 06:35 PM EST

I saw this film in Hollywood when it first opened, people were lined up around the block in the masses, I was only like 4 or 5.
You know what, people probly didn't buy that video game, those toys, and a whole LOT of that stuff, 'cause the movie made hella kids, and grown ups CRY, and not just a little, but hella hella crying. Wake up a couple hours after you go to sleep and just start bawlin' like hell Cryin'.
That kinda cryin's right up there by my dad dyin' Cryin', emotional breakdown cryin' and havin' to move cryin'.
We weren't cryin' Not because of any really "bad thing", in particular, but he took off, man, he left, and all that magic he did, and all the crap those blankety-blank bio science jerks did to him and Elliot, and the flying bikes, and the "ouch" thing and the light-up finger deal, when that ship "for sure" took off, and the end was set, that was when the dam broke. That's probably why a lot of that stuff never aold.
I'm not saying that the merchanise didn't get in my house. Nor that I wasn't around it because My friend had the atari video game, I had curtains, maybe sheets, a button, and a wind up figure. We were also "low-on-funds", when I was little. I'm not sayin' that WAS the absolute reason the merchandise didn't fly, just my 2 cents.

Chestnuts roasted by Obelisk @ 11/07/2003 06:47 PM EST

YOU SICK BASTARD!!! JUST TELL ME WHERE THE COCOA BAT PEEPS ARE!!! SEND THEM TO ME!!! SEND THEM TO ME!!!

Send them to:
Scruff Mcgruff
Chicago Il, 60652

Chestnuts roasted by Mike to Mike @ 11/07/2003 07:50 PM EST

Successful movie tie-ins like Finding Nemo?

Am I the only one who thinks "Dial 2-5-0 and ten other numbers to talk to ET" is very funny?

Chestnuts roasted by kfjghl @ 11/07/2003 07:51 PM EST

The rerelease of ET could have been huge, especially amoung people my age who were too scared of the wrinkly little slimeball back in the 80's to fully appreciate him. Even George Lucas knew better than to take out the weapons when he went back and "improved" his movies. The "Raiders of the Lost Ark" episode of South Park pretty much summed up my feelings about the whole situation. If we loved the movie in the first place, what in hell makes you think that we'll like it more after you change it?
I looked forward to the ET release for months, but when I heard about the changes they'd made I boycotted. You can't be a terrorist for Halloween.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 11/07/2003 07:57 PM EST

MATT!!! Good lord. You thought the multi-flavoured Oreos were weird? Reese's is getting in on the game - I have seen dark chocolate, *white chocolate*, honey-roasted, and most recently (and sitting in front of me right now actually) INSIDE-OUT Reese's peanut butter cups over the last month. Reese's has just...lost it.

...and the inside-out ones are pretty good, actually, although the white-chocolate ones were the best of the bunch I think.

Chestnuts roasted by Aeire @ 11/07/2003 08:49 PM EST

Aeire I have tried those new peanut buttter cups. My dad bought all the different kinds and the original and put them in some kind of candy line up taste test Seinfeld style. Milke I looked for the peeps in a lot of stores in So. Cal. I don't know where in Cal you live, but where I live I couldn't find any.

Chestnuts roasted by pikachulover @ 11/07/2003 09:25 PM EST

Interesting theory, Obelisk. I think there is definitely something about ET that makes his merchandise undesirable. I recently somehow came into ownership of this old ET toy from the original 80's release, still in the package. I tried and tried to sell this thing on ebay, thinking for sure there had to be somebody out there that wanted it, but I got nothing. Not even for one lousy dollar! I got fed up with constantly relisting the stupid thing and just decided to try and give away...nobody would take it.

Chestnuts roasted by Goggles Pizano @ 11/07/2003 11:06 PM EST

Would Photog figures sell better than ET figures?

Chestnuts roasted by Photog @ 11/07/2003 11:09 PM EST

I hated ET when i was a kid (scared the shit outta me!) and i hate him (it?) now. Booo to ET!!

Chestnuts roasted by Xen @ 11/08/2003 12:28 AM EST

now come on now he's not all bad...he taste great on a cracker

Chestnuts roasted by Scourge @ 11/08/2003 01:49 AM EST

I love the biohazard action figure. That was always the weirdest movie memory from my childhood. Sure there were kids playing with an alien and stuff, but when there's a spaceman at your door and he's chasing you around the house--freaky damn stuff. Yet . . . I don't know, maybe not the weirdest movie memory. The Dark Crystal was some pretty messed up stuff. I know a lot of my present nightmares must have something to do with those Skeksis. Damn you Kermit and Yoda! (by Kermit and Yoda I mean Henson and Oz, of course) Though I had always remembered a scene from the movie having to do with a Skeksi corpse falling THROUGH the bed, down a shaft, past evil spikey things, and falling onto another bed. Those who have seen the movie know there is no such scene but why on earth do I remember this scene?

Chestnuts roasted by inkmage @ 11/08/2003 03:19 AM EST

I gotta say that every time I go someplace lately I see things in terms of X-E. Today I was looking through the bargain DVDs and what did my eyes behold? I kid you not, a freaking DVD of the cartoon with the 80's sports "superstars". I had to do a double take because I thought I was mistaken but there it was. I ended up buying a supremely cheesy movie that I still don't understand. Then there's the video store up the street thats "new" section has no movies made since the mid 90's. The have to keep up a front to sell lottery. Come to think of it, it is right next to a dollar store. It's a conspiracy!

Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 11/08/2003 03:45 AM EST

ever since the truth was revealed about ecto cooler/tangergreen it has mysteriously dissapeared from the store. no spot reserved for it either. There is still a bunch of hulk presence on products though. I wish I had a store that sold ancient fettucine...i would eat it all...muahahha =)

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 11/08/2003 04:36 AM EST

Am I seeing this right? Does the biohazard dude's box have an arrow pointing to his crotch, begging you to press it? I am NOT pressing biodude's crotch!

Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 11/08/2003 09:41 AM EST

Yes...yes there is an arrow...pointing at his crotch....dear god....

Chestnuts roasted by Xen @ 11/08/2003 10:42 AM EST

inkmage,
i have had memories of a movie with Skesis-like characters, and i looked for ages trying to figure out what it was. i finally told myself it was just Dark Crystal. maybe i'm not crazy, if there are others thinking of Skesis in different places...

Chestnuts roasted by zann @ 11/08/2003 12:02 PM EST

i don't know how i managed to misspell Skeksis twice, but i did.

anyway, i really want some of those Chips Ahoy!

Chestnuts roasted by zann @ 11/08/2003 12:06 PM EST

"Press here...Try me"
Dear God, what are they teaching kids these days?

Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 11/08/2003 02:03 PM EST

I got the r/c bike. It falls over a lot if its not on a completely flat and smoothe surface :(

Chestnuts roasted by kennef @ 11/08/2003 02:04 PM EST

matt!!!! who won the halloween song contest. I entered, and I think I had all of them... at this point, I don't even remember the prize... but I can't sleep at night thinking I may have won

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 11/08/2003 02:21 PM EST

Think Matt will finish last year's X-mas countdown before starting thi year's? I want to know what was in the last three boxes!

Chestnuts roasted by TOP1214 @ 11/08/2003 02:55 PM EST

I'll post up the contest results tonight. There can only be one grand prize winner, but I'm picking ten extras who nailed it (or came close, because very few had 'em all) for a little second place surprise.

Top -- I'll be finishing the first Advent Calendar before December hits, because believe it or not, Playmobil has a second version out, and I gotta do that. :)

Course, all of that pales in comparison to what else is in store for Christmas. Think Halloween Countdown, just with 5x the crap.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 11/08/2003 03:04 PM EST

No way!!! Think there'll be 4 Rob Lowe's to complement the 4 Mare's from last year? Or do you think one or 2 things might be clearly identifiable with Christmas? Only time will tell, I can't wait!

BTW the biohazard guy isn't the only one with arrows pointing at his crotch. So does one of the E. T. figures (but maybe he doesn't have anything there?), and the truck driver guy.

Chestnuts roasted by TOP1214 @ 11/08/2003 04:05 PM EST

I finally got Cocoa Bats on the half-price post-Halloween candy sale at the Acme grocery store when I work. They are FREAKIN' SWEET! Not that I didn't like them, mind you, but I surprised I didn't go into permanent sugar shock. I gave the other two in the package away.

I've never been a big fan of "E.T," in any version. I wasn't scared of him, I just wasn't crazy about the movie. I'm still not. That said, the glut of E.T merchandise released a few years ago was hard to miss, even by a non-fan. I remember seeing those Chips Ahoy cookies for months, and the grocery store I worked at then eventually had to sell the Teddy Grahmns and Cheese Nips E.T boxes at a discount to get rid of them. I encountered several of the toys in K-Mart and Kay Bee up north - I thought the $35 plush E.T was kind of cute. Other than that, I wasn't interested. Unlike Transformers or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, "E.T" seems to remain a product of its time, and the controversy surrounding the revival only reinforces this.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 11/08/2003 10:03 PM EST

Matt, you need to add the same filter that fark has. Basically when someone types "first post" or "initial post" it sticks there message at the very bottom, and adds some derogatory line to it. its halarious, try it sometime =)

Chestnuts roasted by Someguy @ 11/09/2003 12:04 AM EST

I've seen Fark's. :) Yeah, the first post thing is kinda played, but hey, if there's people who like it, no skin off my back. Fortunately the blog comments aren't heavily used to the point where, like on Fark, the page ends up with 15-20 people typing "First Post!!" on every link.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 11/09/2003 12:07 AM EST

Yeah the only "big deal" about ET that I heard of was how they edited it from saying "terrorists" to say "hippies" and the security guys carried walkie talkies instead of guns. Or at least thats what that one episode of South Park would let me believe. No one's even listening to me.

Chestnuts roasted by Terd @ 11/09/2003 02:12 AM EST

You know, my mom made us all ET costumes for Halloween one year. Rather complicated now that I think about it.

Anyway, ET was always a rather meh movie for me. It didn't have any robots. And it had Drew Barrymore.

Scary thing to consider: Drew Barrymore started doing drugs on the set of ET. Which means there was someone on the set of a Spielberg movie willing to give cocaine to a six-year-old.

Only good thing about the movie was seeing it in german class. And it still wasn't as cool as Star Trek in German.

Chestnuts roasted by Regault @ 11/09/2003 02:22 AM EST

I might not be one of the ones with EVERY one right... but goddammit I tried!

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 11/09/2003 02:22 AM EST

I forgot to relate my scary ET story! So my parents, when I was a kid, got me a lifesize ET statue for my bedroom. His back opened up so you could put stuff inside his body, but I swear he was lifesize, at least that's how I remember him. Can you imagine how freaky it is to be a little snot kid and see a real alien in your room looking at you all the time? Sure, he's no kid-eating cloun bed, but he's got to be the next scariest thing. I'll try to find a pic of the thing on eBay if I can.

Chestnuts roasted by inkmage @ 11/09/2003 04:34 PM EST

Drew Barrymore didn't start doing drugs on the set of ET. She started drinking by 9 and was doing coke by 13. That's still pretty bad, but it's not the same as accusing a first grader of snorting blow.

Am I the only person in the world who's read her distinguished autobiography?

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 11/09/2003 04:48 PM EST

most kids are on ridlin which is the same as coke anyways, at least thats what my I tell my contacts in kindergarden

Chestnuts roasted by the guy that drives the oscar meyer weiner mobile @ 11/09/2003 05:02 PM EST

Like we're gonna believe what *she* wrote? She's the one that was doing the coke in the first place.

Chestnuts roasted by ??? Number Five @ 11/09/2003 05:43 PM EST

oh man i got an awesome idea? how about you not care about who says first post cause its a tradition and its no big deal. if it bothers you take your own life.

Chestnuts roasted by Scourge @ 11/09/2003 07:29 PM EST

I saw some gingerbread man peeps.

Chestnuts roasted by zzzzaamo @ 11/10/2003 12:51 AM EST

I always thought that guy who played Elliot's brother was hot!....... ummmm.........aa. yes. AAAAAAHAhhahhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahah

Chestnuts roasted by . @ 11/10/2003 12:56 AM EST

Hey Matt! Please post my pics too! Don't forget about me when catching up all the other stuff you've mentioned!

Chestnuts roasted by Photog @ 11/10/2003 01:00 AM EST

HA! Challengedtards! That's friggin awesome.

Chestnuts roasted by Tom W @ 11/10/2003 04:20 PM EST

A new Playmobil advent calendar?

Dude, finish up the old one and go the kickass route of the LEGO Advent calendar!

Because Legos > Most everything else.

(Note you can generally add "costs more" in between Legos and the > symbol and that works too. Damn you Lego Shop Exclusive Cloud City Playset with your Lando! I can't afford 100 bucks right now dammit! WHY MUST YOU TEMPT ME?)

Chestnuts roasted by Bloodcat @ 11/10/2003 07:13 PM EST

You know, you've got to wonder if Steven Spielberg really cares for E.T. like he did before he could make tons of money off of it.

Well...I wonder.

Chestnuts roasted by Dumass @ 11/11/2003 02:00 AM EST

I'm from New Zealand (look on your world map) and like Canada we didn't get much of that merchandise either!. Some stores gave away an ET soft toy with the DVD but that was about it.

I went to a weekend screening with some friends and we noticed that the cinema was only half full.

Chestnuts roasted by Icebreaker @ 11/11/2003 06:50 PM EST

Man, Dark Crystal was some scary shit. I saw it as a child, but blocked the memories out of my head. I saw it again at 16 and it was still scary, but not as scary as David Bowie's bulging crotch in Labrynth.

Chestnuts roasted by Tracy Turnblad @ 11/12/2003 11:19 AM EST

Wow, I think I must be the only person who thought David Bowie's bulging crotch only enhanced his role...

But as for "The Dark Crystal," I actually saw giant figurines (I hesitate to call anything that detailed a "doll") of the Gelflings at the mall the other day. Guess they figured the Skeksis would scare the bejesus out of people.

Chestnuts roasted by Skeen @ 11/12/2003 02:58 PM EST

I'm not sure which Toys (Backwards) R Us stores those other Canadians visited, but mine was full of the stuff. I'm pretty sure that some of it is still there. I bought a pretty good selection and gave many more away as gifts.

Chestnuts roasted by Garth @ 11/12/2003 08:25 PM EST

Thank you my friends for informing me of the vile underbelly of the candy industry.Inside-out Reeses cups?The hell? I too would like to go on bargain bin raids,if there were actually anything worthwhile in the bargain bins.Oh,I once paid 50 cents for Digimon caramilk bars.Damn those were good!And only 50 cents!I'll inform you on later excursions.

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