01/19/2004 Entry: "New Article: "The Adventures of Kool-Aid Man!""

Uh oh. Some of you might've heard rumors about the Kool-Aid Man once having a comic book, but chances are good that you've never actually seen it. Now you can. Today's article is a 25+ page review of "The Adventures of Kool-Aid Man," issue number four, published by Marvel Comics in 1987. It's here that we'll meet "Scorch," Kool-Aid Man's enemy made entirely of fire, it's here that we'll play word search games with terms like "lemon lagoon" to find, and it's here that we'll see Kool-Aid Man enter (and WIN!) a surfing contest. Review also includes a special bonus tribute section to my favorite Kool-Aid pals, "Sharkleberry Fin" and "Purplesaurus Rex." That should kill you some time it should did so time kill, yes.

Chestnuts roasted by CHRIS @ 01/19/2004 08:45 AM EST

I remember this comic. I was a huge archie fan to, was never really into marvel comics. I remeber they used to do alot of adds for sunkist fruit snacks.
Fun article Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by turkeys can't fly? @ 01/19/2004 09:20 AM EST

ohh yeaaa!!! I remember these I"m prety positive I had all six, unfourthunatly they went the way of the garbage man.

Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 01/19/2004 09:27 AM EST

hey, haven't gotten the chance to read the article yet, but i was wondering if anyone here remembers a kool-aid man video? i was obsessed with it as a kid, because it had a magic trick where you pick any square on the screen and move however many spaces they tell you to, then they get rid of a couple squares. they keep on doing that, until they've picked the exact same square you have left...anyone know what i'm talking about?

man, that jank was way cool.

Chestnuts roasted by amber @ 01/19/2004 09:46 AM EST

I own it! :) I bought it a while back to review, but never got around to doing it. Wonder where it went...

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/19/2004 09:47 AM EST

Matt,
You've done it again! You've dug up something that I had as a kid that I totally forgot about and loved at the time. I had a different issue. One had to do with Kool Aid man helping kids win a baseball game, another story took place in outer space and the other one in an amusement park. There wasn't a scenario they hesitated to put Kool Aid Man in. :) Thanks for another trip down memory lane! OH YEAH (to quote the big red one himself)
Melissa Y.
(loyal reader and resident Tim Curry fan)

Chestnuts roasted by Melissa Y. @ 01/19/2004 10:20 AM EST

In the Surfin Contest one, anybody else think it was strange that the Kool-Aid man won a trophy he apparantly owned in the first place? I thought that was pretty messed up.

Chestnuts roasted by Stephanie @ 01/19/2004 10:34 AM EST

I was really hoping for an ad in the koolaid man comic with the koolaid mans house. I've been talking this up on the blog every opportunity I get, and i think I'm the only one who remembers it.

it was an ad for koolaid, but it showed a house that koolaid man lived in, with cool stuff for all the kids to do, and a room to keep the parents busy while we were having fun. I really thought it was a real place, and begging my grandmother to take me there all the time.

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 01/19/2004 11:39 AM EST

Well, the story lines are horrid, but it's way better than the old Dallas Cowboys comics my gramma would get us (the coach in the hat would pray then the Cowboys would win a game for God...).

Interesting note is that the art was done by Dan DeCarlo of Archie fame. That's why every girl looks like Veronica. Hell, even Archie makes a cameo waving from a beach blanket!

Chestnuts roasted by Mark @ 01/19/2004 11:43 AM EST

Matt! You need to find the live action comercial that had Sortch in it! It had Scortch stealing the key to Kool-aid land so that The big K himself couldn't go in and get the newsest flavor. It was part of a contest where if you found one of Scortches foot steps on the inside of your kool aid packs you could win a bike or a NES or some 80's toy.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr Mango @ 01/19/2004 11:56 AM EST

Am I the only one who imagined the Kool Aid Man's lines being read in the voice of Duffman?

"Oh YEAH!"

Chestnuts roasted by Paul @ 01/19/2004 12:24 PM EST

This one's for Little Brother, whom I keep bugging to check this place out: Hey Kruel-Aid! (Brrrraaaaappp!) Oh, yeah? Give the Big Red an eyepatch, a wicked scar, tattoo, and a sour expression, and you have our take on the comic books: Kruel-Aid Man. Once, when a local store threw a promotion, there was some poor sap in a Kool-Aid costume. We were there with Ma doin the shopping thing. A couple of our younger cousins were getting books an other assorted crap from K-A Man and one saw me and bro. I made a motion of a quick jab, and the little guy gave the mook a light poke in the snoot. The teen in the suit played along at first, doing the stooge thing of blocking the wrong area and getting hit somewhere else. Then all the other anklebiters had to get in on the act, resulting in Kool-Aid Man getting pummeled by second-graders. The store security that was leading the beloved icon around started giving us teens the horse-eye as he noticed some of the kids talking to us right before the altercation, so I hustled Little Brother down a cereal aisle post-haste. Then we laughed ourselves silly.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/19/2004 12:30 PM EST

The way that Kool-Aid Man crashed into Scorch's house naked like that, I think it shows Kool-Aid Man had the "hots" for Scorch. Good thing those kids were around to restrain Kool-Aid Man, otherwise this coul dhave been a VERY different comic.

Chestnuts roasted by TOP1214 @ 01/19/2004 12:49 PM EST

Christ, I never thought I'd see a Kool-Aid Man comic again. BTW, Matt, its not Marvel who published this, it was Archie Comics. Unless Marvel owns Archie comics, in which case, fuck me!

Anyway, I remember having one of these. I believe it was issue seven, though I can't be sure. It took place at the Wacky Warehouse, the place where all the Kool-Aid point premiums were supposedly kept before they tried to hip it up with "the Wacky Warehouse Mall". Anybody else remember that fucking jingle?

Anyway, the story involved KAM inventing a new flavour, but having no idea what to call it. Before he or the kids can think of one, that flaming asshole Scorch steals the formula and leads everyone on a wild chase through the Wacky Warehouse. Now, for some reason, they end up time warping back to the stone age. It was probably explained, but I can't be bothered to remember. Bottom line, its here that KAM and the kids meet Matt's hero, Purplesaurus Rex. He helps them get their formula back, and everyone (P-Rex included) warps back to present day. However, Kool-Aid Man, vindictive prick that he is, sends Scorch to chill out for a few hours in the ice age. In the end, KAM names the new Kool-Aid Purplesaurus Rex, which P-Rex only approves of by yelling KAM's catchphrase, "OH YEAH!"

Shit, I can't believe I remembered all that. How about rewardeding me with a review of "Mac and Me"?

Chestnuts roasted by A-wel Cruiz @ 01/19/2004 01:49 PM EST

This truly was A - A - Awe -Some. Just the thing I needed while trying to avoid doing any work, comic books with juice pitchers running around in biker shorts and such..

Chestnuts roasted by Iivuli @ 01/19/2004 01:49 PM EST

A - A - Awe -Some Article, Matt. Still not as crazy as the one commercial where the Kool-Aid man jumps into a swimming pool full of cement, though.

"You forgot the pitcher!"
"Oh No!"
(Rewind shot of the Kool-Aid man going thtough a wall. A man with a hot dog freaks out. Kool-Aid man comes back through the wall with the pitcher.)
"Oh yeah!"

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 01/19/2004 02:31 PM EST

Hey, Matt. I did't realize he had a series. Ever get the "free" issue of Kool-Aid Man that predates this series? The one where you pay for shipping and 6 - 8 weeks later (more like 3 months) you get it in the mail. It had way better stories than this one. I wish I still had it.

Chestnuts roasted by lepnhoj @ 01/19/2004 02:34 PM EST

We used to collect the damn Kool-Aid points. My dad liked the KA lemonade so that's where most of the points came from. We got this plastic pitcher set with glasses all shaped like the man hisself. Also got beach towels, "singlasses", and assorted shit. Thing I remember most was the damn Atari 2600 game. Cost like 2,000 points and sucked but it was FREE, man and free is good. Usually.

Mac and Me is on of the worst things ever committed to celluloid. It's a 90 minute McDonalds commercial "Hey kids, buy our mad cow-burgers!" Mac isn't nuthin except corporate greed disguised as a rubber puppet. If Matt reviews it he might fall over and then what site would we read?

Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 01/19/2004 02:50 PM EST

I wonder what Kool-Aid flavor some of you are? I'm Kruel-Aid flavor #34X7: Grape-Pickle Embolism, the orignal black color with red bits.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/19/2004 02:51 PM EST

Years before I became a superherotype fangirl, I was an Archie fangirl. My original stack of comics was Archie, Alf, Thundercats, and Kool-Aid Man. I had this issue. Now I need to remember what I did with that stack of kiddie comics. I know I still had them before college. I wonder if they're in my tower of comics I never liked enough to bag and box even when I was doing such things compulsively.

I also need to look for my Kool-Aid points. I had hundreds in a babyfood jar and can't imagine them getting tossed. I don't even know if they still do those.

Off topic--Valentines Peeps Vanilla Cream Hearts are really good. I like them better than the Chocobats. Though they're not nearly as cute.

Chestnuts roasted by fangirlx @ 01/19/2004 02:54 PM EST

Marvel Comics published the first couple of issues then Archie picked up the license. As of this writing, there are 2 issues up on Ebay (the original Marvel one in which Kool Aid battles the Thirsties and another Archie one from 1989). Do I smell a sequel article about the sordid history of Kool Aid Man in comics? Probably not...

Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 01/19/2004 03:05 PM EST

Ive decided to take down the site permenantly.

The Kool-Aid man made me do it!! OH YEAH!

Ps. isnt there a way to block out your name especially? heh

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/19/2004 03:46 PM EST

Great... now I'm hankerin' for Sharkleberry Fin... loved that flavour.

Chestnuts roasted by Alpha Centaurian @ 01/19/2004 04:35 PM EST

Pick up Dane Cook's "Harmful If Swallowed" CD/DVD for some fun with Kool-Aid Man.
http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/read.php?ID=6923

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 01/19/2004 04:45 PM EST

X-E flavors:
Killer Duck- kinda like TangerGreen with a WarHeads undercurrent.
Gabbylicious- kiwi/margarita with a dash of Pixie Stix.
Matt- unsweetened Rockadile Red, straight up, orange twist, maybe one P-Rex ice cube.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/19/2004 04:58 PM EST

"Roast my toast!" is now my favorite phrase. I am prepared to use it in puclic and confuse those unacquainted with Scorch. OH YEAH!

Chestnuts roasted by Rood @ 01/19/2004 05:02 PM EST

I have an Adventures of Jell-Man & Wobbly comic written by Eisner award winner Kurt (MARVELS, ASTRO CITY, JLA/AVENGERS) Busiek. I'm pretty proud of it.

Chestnuts roasted by Albert @ 01/19/2004 05:33 PM EST

Great article. Is anyone else reminded of the 1966 Batman episode where Batman and the Joker compete in a surfing contest?

Chestnuts roasted by Pig Malien @ 01/19/2004 05:34 PM EST

Hah I OWNED the Kool Aid man atari 2600 game and did'nt have to drink gallons of Kool-Aid to get it. It was a gift for my 6'th birthday. Ah so many wasted days controling a poorly renderd Kool-Aid stop some poorly rendered thirsties. If only I did'nt sell the game for a ticket to see Happy Gilmore.

Chestnuts roasted by Richard Keil is my Dad.. @ 01/19/2004 05:47 PM EST

Duck,
You got the Kool Aid video game? I'm so freaking jealous! ... That is all. Back to work.

Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 01/19/2004 05:49 PM EST

Yes, finally more lore about everyone's favorite powdered beverage pusher.

Chestnuts roasted by Kool-Aid Man @ 01/19/2004 05:58 PM EST

I remember back in the day, I had a bitchin' Kool-Aid punching bag and a well-sculpted Kool-Aid Man figure thanks to Kool-aid points. You know what Kool-Aid Points get you now?
Take a look: http://web.kraftfoods.com/koolaid/2001/ka_all_stuff.html
Crap, it's all crap!!

Chestnuts roasted by Rewolf J @ 01/19/2004 06:19 PM EST

Pig Malien, that was a great one. Batman had to use his can of "Bat-Shark Repellent" to win the contest.

By the way, I remember when PurpleSaurus Rex came out. Kool-Aid made a paper cutout of the dinosaur's body that you would glue to an empty soup can to store your Kool-Aid points.

Chestnuts roasted by Joey @ 01/19/2004 06:43 PM EST

In near prehistoric times, there used to be this supermarket by my house called "Food Connection". One day while tagging along with my mom on a shopping mission, we ran into some severely discounted Kool-Aid. For some reason, we bought truckloads of the stuff. And when I say truckloads, I mean we were drinking Sharkleberry Fin and Great Bluedini (IT CHANGES COLOR!!) until about a year ago. I still have an unopened package of Sharkleberry tacked to my bulliten board.

Chestnuts roasted by Kate @ 01/19/2004 06:54 PM EST

Fans of Mark Hamill, comic book conventions and animated voice-over artists might be interested in Hamill's "Comic Book: The Movie"
http://www.comingsoon.net/news/dvdreviewsnews.php?id=3050

Chestnuts roasted by She-Man @ 01/19/2004 07:00 PM EST

Man, Kool-Aid Man's rocking the Lyrca bike-shorts in the first comic. I think it's odd that such a giant pitcher could fill out hip-hugging pants like that....Um, nevermind.

Chestnuts roasted by Evan @ 01/19/2004 07:08 PM EST

I am have a amazingly huge archie comic collection which is really quite scary haha but one cant get enough of those crazy kids... ;)

Chestnuts roasted by gurge @ 01/19/2004 07:36 PM EST

UPDATE!!

I just found the remainder of the said "truckload" of Sharkleberry and Bluedini my mom bought all those millions of years ago..... I actually still own a ton of the stuff! I could probably send some in....?

Chestnuts roasted by Kate @ 01/19/2004 07:42 PM EST

I wonder what flavor I'd be. Maybe "Extreme Twiggenberries"?

(too damn easy)

Chestnuts roasted by Monster Dog @ 01/19/2004 07:54 PM EST

the purple saurus rex appears in the 1989 comic issue I have that one and the you reviewed. What about that Jets' offer on the back of the comic?

Chestnuts roasted by pikachulover @ 01/19/2004 07:56 PM EST

First, hooray for this article. Just what the doctor ordered for a long day at work with nothing going on. Second, these were published by Marvel under the Archie banner for anyone curious. Explains why every teen looks straight outta Ridgedale. (or wherever the hell they came from)

Chestnuts roasted by Falling @ 01/19/2004 08:58 PM EST

I just got back from weekly studyt group. they had a figgin cake for me because my birthday in 2 days. It was shaped like a duck then they give me a knife tell me to cut the cake. know hbow much will power it takes to not stab the thing? I had too much to drink as usual and had to have my roommate drive me home. all before nine pm on a monday. thats what i call fun!

Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 01/19/2004 09:01 PM EST

To the above poster whom made allusions to Homosexuality in the comic you might have a point there,
after all Kool-Aid Man is taking on a "FLAMER" (ba dum tish)

Chestnuts roasted by Pimping Shatner @ 01/19/2004 09:13 PM EST

I thought it was "Riverdale".

On a side note, I used to live in Haverhill, Massachusetts, where the guy who created Archie was born and raised. Tom Bergeron was also from Haverhill. You'll notice that both went on to achieve their fame after they moved somewhere else, and if you've ever been to "Hell Town", you'll see why.

Chestnuts roasted by Monster Dog @ 01/19/2004 09:16 PM EST

50 comments and still no mention of Dugong 9?

Chestnuts roasted by Scorch @ 01/19/2004 09:21 PM EST

did any one notice in the first comic, betsy picks up the key right after it was heated with out burning herself. And gold is a good conductor of heat and electricity to boot. well roast my toast

Chestnuts roasted by the corinthian @ 01/19/2004 09:28 PM EST

Finn-tastic!

Chestnuts roasted by Scourge @ 01/19/2004 09:38 PM EST

I, too, recall the "Wacky Warehouse" promotions well, because my sisters and I used to pretend to be in the "Warehouse" with all the freaky stuff going on. Despite drinking gallons of Kool-Aid in my youth (my mother even made Kool-Aid pops for really hot, sticky summer afternoons and evenings), I don't remember us ever actually buying anything with the points. We might have and it's just slipped my mind.

"Purplesaurus Rex" was one of my sisters' favorite flavors (I still prefer good, old fashioned cherry), so I remember him and Sharkleberry Fin as well. In fact, some of my happiest childhood memories are of sitting on our back porch in Cape May during the summer, still damp from a morning spent at the beach, eating lunch and drinking Kool-Aid before returning to the sand until dinner-time. Kool-Aid will probably always bring me back to those hours spent on the small back porch, under the shade of the now-vanished willow tree, chatting with my sisters and whichever friends or relatives opted to join us that day.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 01/19/2004 10:51 PM EST

I love that layout. I liked the short but many pages and I love the way the links are set up.

Was Surfin' Berry Punch pink or red? When K-Man is pouring it into a glass, the punch in the pitcher is red, while the punch in the glass is pink.

Hair, meet splitter. Splitter, meet trajeal.

These comics remind me of the old Richie Rich comics I had as a kid. He had his slicked-out hair, his dog Dollar, and his butler Cadbury. And plenty of sound bubbles.

See you in the morning, Duck! ;-)

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 01/19/2004 11:02 PM EST

I remember having the map of the Kool-Aid Kingdom you'd used to track down Scorch in that one contest that was mentioned earlier. That thing was a-a-awesome.

I saved up my Kool-Aid points,but all I ever got with them was a Kool-Aid Man-shaped pitcher and glasses.

Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 01/19/2004 11:21 PM EST

Very funny review, Matt!

Chestnuts roasted by Bek @ 01/19/2004 11:45 PM EST

That Pound Puppy being offered in the vault ad isn't a cooler--his name actually was Cooler. I think he was the head Pound Puppy on the old cartoon if anybody remembers that.

Chestnuts roasted by Luap @ 01/20/2004 12:05 AM EST

By now Matt, I guess you know that there's a comic created for everyone and everything by now. I'd thought I'd seen it all til I found pearl Jam and Cheap Trick comics. Then I was scared.

Chestnuts roasted by Jimkaider @ 01/20/2004 12:41 AM EST

Matt - once again, great job digging up the glorious past of the '80s and making the current existence of terror alerts and cluster bombs more and more distant in my already fragile psyche (long sentence!)

I actually have that comic!!! Good God - I actually remember "Roast my Toast!" (sad, but true).

The best part is that my brother and I WON THE !@$%@ CONTEST!!! We were 2 of the 1000 kids that found ol' Kooly's blasted key to the vault!

It was a $50 gift certificate to Toys 'R Us!! Being 9 years old, I debated on getting either Kid Icarus or Metroid (!!!), but in the end, I succumed to TurtleMania and bought Ninja Turtle swag.

Thanks again for bringing up an awesome '80s memory!

Chestnuts roasted by AgentShaolin @ 01/20/2004 12:53 AM EST

Haha King, I am glad that I am alcohol flavoured. And everyone knows that pixie sticks are only a short step away from being a potent speed/cocaine hybrid.

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 01/20/2004 01:12 AM EST

something sounds wrong with this line:
Kool-Aid Man throwing his holy liquid on scores of children

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 01/20/2004 01:13 AM EST

OOOh yeah, I defenitely used to own those. Good Find!

Chestnuts roasted by delafro @ 01/20/2004 01:24 AM EST

DAMNIT. I wasn't the first person to bring up the Jell-O comic.

Chestnuts roasted by Marc @ 01/20/2004 02:47 AM EST

Like RYAN and LISA on that MAZE in section 3... i as well live in DENVER COLORADO... does that make any difference? Of course not!

Chestnuts roasted by Mike @ 01/20/2004 03:18 AM EST

The Go-Bots that were part of the mail order thing were also given away in Wendy's Kids Meals. I had a few of them myself.

Chestnuts roasted by Brad @ 01/20/2004 03:26 AM EST

This article is, truly, MIGHTY MIGHTY A-A-AWE-SOME!!! A few numerated comments:

1) My first reaction was "Oh cool, a Kool-Aid Man comic book, I didn't know they made those!" And I continued to think that all through the review, until we came to the part about TWISTING THE SKEG... and I realized I'd actually read this comic! It was in the pile of comics that my third grade bus aide handed out to quiet us kids down! Piles of Archies, Ewoks, Droids, Richie Rich, Spooky Boo... and yes, even Kool-Aid Man! But apparently the only part that stuck with me was "twisting the skeg," probably because I loved words as a kid and was eager to know what you called the fin on the bottom of a surfboard. It makes me wonder, how long did I hold onto the memory of that comic, and when did I forget it? Why was 'skeg' the only part my brain regarded as too important to throw away?

2) I've got a 1998 Kool-Aid commercial on my Pee-Wee's Playhouse tape, the one with "Lots of great taste-- and a whole lot more!" That shows Kool-Aid Man's face being drawn in the condensation on the pitcher, which is how I always assumed he was constructed. But in this comic, on page 6 of the Surfin' Contest story, we see him from the side-- and his big black nose is projecting! That's freaky!

3) I checked M Sipher's Big Transformers Variations List. Breez, Beamer (aka Beemer), and Pow Wow, the Kool-Aid Go-Bots, were probably back stock from the Wendy's Go-Bots promotion. Maybe they're variations too? I wonder.

4) If I were a Kool-Aid character, I'd like to be a sort of lemonade-colored anise mocha flavor. "Lickerish Java G'Tron," they'd call me.

Chestnuts roasted by G'Tron @ 01/20/2004 03:32 AM EST

1998? No, 1988. I'm a dumdum.

Chestnuts roasted by GTron @ 01/20/2004 03:52 AM EST

Roast my toast! i remember seeing that awful Tang commercial in a zillion other comics. It gives me big orange nightmares to this day.

I also remember seeing ads for a Kool-Aid Man video game for Atari which looked really awful ...

Great article, Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Kit @ 01/20/2004 03:53 AM EST

Obviously, A-A-Awe-Some is a great phrase that should be used in all forms of printed text. However, how does one SAY it?

Is it (rhymes with pay) ae - ae - AWE - sum?
Or (stretch it out for a few seconds) AAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWE -sum?
Or, even better (worse), "Triple A awesome!"

I ask because I need to say this for my next job interview to look intelligent.

Chestnuts roasted by Justin @ 01/20/2004 06:57 AM EST

Kool-Aid was and still is a stapel in the house my 20 year old brother and I guzzle that flavored stuff as if it was liquid crack. We collected the Kool-Aid points as kids and had points up the wahzoo. Say like 20,000 points. We really never traded in the points. But collected them. Is the point system still the same can you trade them in for stuff?

I used to own the Kool-Aid Trivia game. The thing was like Trivial Pursuit but for kids. There really was nothing Kool-Aid about it though besides for pictures of Kool-Aid man and some other villians known as the Thirsties which were mini yellow suns that pesterd Kool-Aid and his beloved kids. I think the game was sent to the dump some years ago.

Chestnuts roasted by Rowan_Steele @ 01/20/2004 08:52 AM EST

oh yeah, me and a friend were arguing earlier about how to pronounce that. when i first read it, i pronounced the word, "aaaaaaaawesome", but everyone else seems convinced that it's "uh-uh-awesome", so who knows?

the one thing that i do know, however, is that the second one is much more entertaining to randomly blurt out during class.

Chestnuts roasted by amber @ 01/20/2004 12:02 PM EST

I still play the Atari game once in a while, having a 7800 to play it on. It's only fun until someone dies.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/20/2004 12:09 PM EST

Justin... go with triple A awesome.... I like the ring to it.

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 01/20/2004 12:18 PM EST

Eh, I read that comic and all I can think of is Michael Jackson, inviting little kids into his Neverland ranch. I suppose my thoughts are justified. Who the heck would trust a gigantic, talking pitcher of colored water who breaks through walls and screams "Oh Yeaah!" anyway?

...ok, who would trust Michael Jackson anyway? Nevermind.

Oh, Matt. Great website. Love it.

Chestnuts roasted by Sucrose @ 01/20/2004 01:01 PM EST

A little late but...Pig Malien, that is the best Batman episode ever!! The part where Joker and his girl are talking over their phones that look like hot dogs is the best. And Batman and Robin wear their bathing suits ON TOP of their costumes.

Batman, whispering to Robin: "That girl, is talking into her hot dog."

Chestnuts roasted by Y2JB78 @ 01/20/2004 02:20 PM EST

I've got some of the plastic glasses and a pitcher somewhere at home. Used them many a time. I liked Great Bludini because it would change color.

Chestnuts roasted by JG! @ 01/20/2004 03:01 PM EST

"I'm hot!" "I'm thirsty!" "HEY, KOOL-AID!" BLAMMO! "OH, YEAH!" I love the old Kool-Aid commercials from the 70's. Any body see the courtroom scene from Family Guy? "Oh no." "Oh, no!" "OH, NO!" BOOM! "OH, YEAH!"

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/20/2004 04:34 PM EST

1. Can you get away by referring to Kool-Aid as "juice?" I've always considered it sugar and water.
2. I wonder why Kool-Aid Man didn't tip over and spill his guts out, ice and all, during any of these comic-book stories.
3. Someone earlier mentioned a Kool-Aid video. I don't know if it was the same one, but I once viewed a Kool-Aid video. I don't remember much about it, but I recall part of it was a documentary with interviews of people whose walls Kool-Aid Man had crashed through. My mind's a little sketchy, it's been 12 years since I last saw it.
4. The advertising and miscellaneous pages included with the comic are interesting. For example, you'll notice that in Kool-Aid Man's "Buckle Up America" promotion, 1) he is only wearing a shoulder belt, not a lap belt and 2) he is wearing the shoulder belt around his lap. This means that when that car he's riding in crashes, he'll probably slip out from under the belt and become a pile of sticky broken glass.

Chestnuts roasted by Andrew T. @ 01/20/2004 05:20 PM EST

Those are some Wicked DEVO glasses that Scorch has!

I think one time long ago I saw some of thes comics at a flea market. I consider it a lost opportunity!

Chestnuts roasted by Ukato84 @ 01/20/2004 05:37 PM EST

Everybody's seen the courtroom scene from Family Guy and talks about it all the time. Go on any message board and search 5 minutes; you'll find something mentioning Family Guy. So the question is...where's the Fox announcement on the new episodes?

I was lucky to be into Archie in the "really creative" years. You had the teenagers as time travelers, dungeon explorers, cross-country racers, interdimensional warpers, etc. All that and "Sassy Thrasher" too.

I didn't care about Cheryl Blossom; I wanted Sassy back. Yes, she's a hideously dated character, but so are a bunch of teens who still meet at soda shops and say "dig it."

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 01/20/2004 05:48 PM EST

Hey Matt: next, do the Koosh Kins miniseries! :)

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 01/20/2004 05:49 PM EST

Hi. I'm a long time reader, first time poster.

Holy Christ! I thought I was the ONLY one on the face of the planet that owned a Kool-Aid Man comic book!

When I was, like, 8 or 9, my family was visiting relatives in Philadelphia, and we all went to the Philadelphia Zoo. And somewhere in the zoo I guess was this Kool-Aid promo stand. And Kool-Aid Man was there! He didn't talk or anything. He just sort of posed for pictures and pantomimed like Mickey and Pluto do at Disney World.

Anyway, he was handing out all sorts of free crap (like the junk you would get out of the Wacky Warehouse). But one of the only things I kept was the comic book he handed out. I thought it was volume 1. If it isn't, I thought it was volume 1 and the ONLY one. Plus the cover was a big crowd with Kool-Aid man in the front saying "It's the grand opening of the Kool-Aid Wacky Warehouse. OH YEAH!!!!"

Comic 1 was about the Wacky Warehouse's grand opening. Scorch steals a circuitboard that I guess controls important functions in the WareHouse and Kool-Aid Man and the kids have to get it back. (side note: "Surfin' Berry Beach" bears a remarkable likeness to Wacky Wakiki Beach in the Wacky WareHouse. Yes, IN the Wacky Warehouse. I guess besided shipping out merchandise to kids, the building contained a beach, a race track, and an amusement park, from what I remember. Bodacious!)

Comic 2 was a dance contest plot. Like the surfing contest, Scorch sabatoges the kids by melting the floor wax so thier shoes stick and they can't dance (Hm...I'm noticing a comic book pattern here =) Of course, Scorch goes and dances on hot wax no problem, and claims to be the winner. Kool-Aid Man in the last ditch effort challenges. Scorch melts Kool-Aid Man's shoes to the floor, so Kool-Aid Man takes his shoes off and dances without them. Scorch starts frying the floor. The kids thing that Kool Aid Man's hopping around are dance moves and declare him the winner. Shocking!

Sorry this was so long! It's my first post and I had a lot to say =)

Kingklash, I saw that Family Guy. I almost died laughing when Kool-Aid Man busted though the wall! It was so far-fetched, unexpected, and made no sense! lol!

Matt, you rule! Keep up the good work! And if you want any scanned pages of my Kool-Aid man comic, I can send them to you (assuming I can find the comic in my basement. It should still be there...)

Chestnuts roasted by Dangerous Xarl @ 01/20/2004 05:57 PM EST

Andrew, that has to be some of the funniest stuff I have seen in a while. Sticky broken glass =)

Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 01/20/2004 09:53 PM EST

"OH YEA"

Chestnuts roasted by Kool-Aid Man @ 01/20/2004 11:56 PM EST

Giant dugong with scuba diver. Best picture ever. The dugong looks happy.

Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 01/21/2004 03:36 AM EST

Damn. I wish I had Tang-suspenders. They're everything I'm not. Orange, adjustable and a lot cooler than a belt. Oh Yeah!

Chestnuts roasted by Iivuli @ 01/21/2004 10:34 AM EST

Matt, you need to get the Kool Aid Man plush toy.

Then show a picture of Kool Aid Man reading the comic of his past.

...by the way, how DOES Kool Aid Man bust through walls without shattering his own body?

Chestnuts roasted by Chirs Waters @ 01/21/2004 11:23 AM EST

KAM's detective reasoning isn't as farfetched as you think. I watch detective anime all the time, and trust me, some of KAM deductions made make him a super-genius.

And yes, there is something wrong w/ the holy liquid on children line. And biker shorts on a big red pitcher.

Chestnuts roasted by CardCaptor Loki @ 01/21/2004 12:03 PM EST

I will answer this question...Kool Aid is indeed damaging his body...like a sword swallower or cannon ball catcher or a man who takes punches to the gut, he is slowly killing himself....gradually bludgeoning his body and internal organs to a pulp, soon to render him cracked beyond repair or shattered into a million sick sticky pieces, all for your disgusting perverse entertainment.

OH YEAH!

Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 01/21/2004 12:18 PM EST

I was just about to red the entire article, but I've suddenly been given a craving for Kool-Aid, so now I must go to the store and get some. Bye.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 01/21/2004 08:58 PM EST

Heh, I have a Kool-Aid Man comic from 83 (no volume number) and number 3.

Chestnuts roasted by Hobie-wan @ 01/21/2004 10:44 PM EST

I loved Sharkleberry Fin....

All I know, is that with 2 cups of sugar it was hella sweet. I still remember how sweet it was....

I doubt anything else will ever come close.

Chestnuts roasted by Omni @ 01/22/2004 02:39 AM EST

I have to say, I havent enjoyed an article this much in a long time!

Chestnuts roasted by A-Train @ 01/22/2004 03:00 PM EST

Wow! I love how I've been paid homage to. This is the pinnacle of my career! Thank you, X-Entertainment!

OH YEAH!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Kool-Aid Man @ 01/22/2004 04:51 PM EST

Damn. This comic was actually fun to read. Matt's comments were the topping.

Chestnuts roasted by Blue Jester @ 01/22/2004 07:12 PM EST

I actually owned a Kool-Aid man comic many years ago but it was not the one you have on your page. It had something to do with Kool-Aid man opening up some kind of giant indoor amusement park. Scorch sneaks in disguised as a building inspector but Kool-Aid Man stops him with water balloons. Yes, water balloons! And in the end, he gets rid of Scorch by getting him in a hot-air balloon which rises higher into the air thanks to Scorch's heat.

What a cornball way to stop a villain.

Chestnuts roasted by Bert Raccoon @ 01/23/2004 01:44 PM EST

i HATE the cool aide man. Dont get me wrong, i love the drink, but the kool aide man himself scares the shit you of me. Especially the new commercials, where he lures 8 year olds into his pool, and then has them sneak him into hotels, and doesnt tell them what's in the "secret" drink. i hate him.

Chestnuts roasted by chris @ 01/23/2004 02:38 PM EST

I have the first two Marvels, the Archie on here, and another Archie where Purplesaurus Rex is now a human-sized sax player, who convinces everyone to help him find his band's instruments. Know how they go globetrotting? Remember that Star Trek episode where some alien library had doorways to different planets?

The Marvels were better. Forget Scorch, I wanted the Thristies back! Thirsties were space aliens that looked like little suns with tounges that make both KISS and George "The Animal" Steel jealous. They were that long, and that green. Their leader, "Big Thirstie", looked like one of those sun creatures from that one Super Friends episode, and had his underlings fly around in a giant Thirstie-shaped space station while he yelled at them from some undisclosed location via closed-circuit TV. Now *those* were enemies!

And each story (I think of the issue #2 stories brought one group back) had different kids, 2 boys, two girls, who somehow got to travel with KAM in his "Cool Copter" (just a regular blue helecopter) or hang out at his Baxter Building style HQ. (Although it was shaped like a giant pitcher of Kool-Aid, I assumed it was actually the brand's corporate HQ.) Good stuff. :)

Chestnuts roasted by ShadowWing the Technorganic Autobot @ 01/25/2004 08:15 PM EST

Jesus, I was talking about KAM in Family Guy just last night while drinking with a bunch of fellow writers. And, totally accidentally, stumble upon this. That was freakin' great!

Chestnuts roasted by Punk Rock Poet @ 01/28/2004 06:52 PM EST

Hey, anyone else notice that the Kool Aid Vault looks a bit like one of those Smurf houses without the mushroom cap?

Chestnuts roasted by Punk Rock Poet @ 01/29/2004 12:06 PM EST

I away wanted one of these comics but I never got around to getting one in the 2nd grade

Chestnuts roasted by FC4 @ 02/01/2004 12:20 AM EST

What people don't seem to realize about Sharkleberry Fin is that the name is supposed to sound like Huckleberry Finn. One of the strangest tributes I've ever seen.

The Kool-Aid Man comic book was published by Marvel before Archie took it over. Examples from one of their issues are here
http://www.strangecult.com/pisser/koolaid.html
and, amazingly, someone's highly elaborate— and tragic— fanfic based on the exact same issue (!) is here:
http://ohyeah.six-thousand-chicken-fa-ji-tas.org/links/death.htm

Chestnuts roasted by David Gerstein @ 02/21/2004 03:46 AM EST

There's FANFICTION about this?! Great, there's someone more evil than me out there. Crap.

Chestnuts roasted by CardCaptor Loki @ 03/28/2004 02:15 PM EST

Hey, I am looking to purchase this copy of Adventures of Kool Aid Man No.4 from 1987. Anyone have one for sale? Email me! Rob
robsparadisehi@aol.com

Chestnuts roasted by Rob @ 06/02/2004 04:13 PM EST

Here's the bottom line. For me, the Kool-Aid man is scary! With that freaky smile and those huge black dotted eyes looking like that, he almost looks like he's going to pick up one of those kids and drown them in his pitcher or something. In fact, I used to have nightmares about the Kool-Aid man coming after me when I was 7-8 years old. One of them was where we were all upstairs in my house jumping up and down on the bed drinking Kool-Aid. My brother spilled some and the Kool-Aid man slipped on it and went flying smack into the mirror sitting there on my mom's dresser. Then it REALLY got freaky when he got stuck in the mirror and started making that scary looking smile of his around me! I don't remember but I think he said something like, "OHHHHH YEEEEEAH! When I get outta here, kid, I'll get you!" Another bad (but funny!) dream I had about the ool-Aid man was where I insulted him by saying, "You're stinky!" And then he picked me up and threw me! That was soooooo intense and an undeniably scary experience that I still remember today, and I'm 18 now! Every time I see the Kool-Aid Man's picture though, I start to kind of smile myself. It's just so funny how it seems that he could just snap at any second. Still, I LOOOOVE the Kool-Aid drink! It's very refreshing! Kudos to the Kool-Aid man!

Chestnuts roasted by ANONYMOUS @ 06/05/2004 03:10 AM EST