Maybe it's the best way to go. We're told daily that these are troubled times, that we're living through a period of intriguing disharmony. If splattering Shrek's green head on every other street corner and on every kind of soda bottle helps to take the edge off, why the Hell not? And why stop there? Next time Bush interrupts our regularly scheduled programming, tack a Shrek button on his jacket. Have him glumly begin the speech, building everyone's worst fears only to reveal that the conference was being held to introduce 9 Lives' new "Puss In Boots Chicken" flavor. If we could persuade everyone in the world to shift their attention to Shrek 2 and Shrek 2 Doritos, I bet people'll convert their secret fallout shelters into secret Shrek worship altars in no time. Stupid yes, but a lot less macabre. I don't know if Shrek can save the world, but he sure can make a trip to 7-11 more surreal.
Let me remind you that I'm only covering the sorta kinda oddball items. Shrek's reach extends much further; he's on all the chip bags and soda cans as well. If interested, 7-11 is certainly a good place to begin your Shrekquest. With innumerable sightings of the ogre's head on virtually everything sold within, the only thing I noticed without a Shrek connection were those strange chicken eggroll deals they had rolling around inside a Hot Machine. My theory: Shrek has his standards.
The famed Slurpee™ machine boasted few flavors I was familiar with, but the "Shrek-a-Licious" Sierra Mist Slurpee is a new kind of tasty danger. I can't say for sure what we the people feel about Sierra Mist, but I'd rather drink liquefied elephant skin. There's just something about it I find completely foreign and disgusting, and the leading candidate for what that something might be is Sierra Mist's flavor: liquefied elephant eyeballs. I feel the same way about Mountain Dew, though, so opinions may differ.
Regardless, the fact that 7-11 was willing to let Shrek take over the Slurpee section is a huge, huge deal. We're talking about holy ground sacred territory end-all be-all place to be. An endorsement from Slurpee Center is about as good as having God spread the clouds. hang his giant face over the horizon and yell about what an A-rate movie Shrek 2 is. In some ways it's even better, since most of the world is more into Slurpees than religion.
Another view of the machine, because you can never have enough.
The 7-11 ran out of official plastic souvenir Shrek glasses, which they described in those very same terms. "Plastic souvenir Shrek glasses? Sorry we're out." Daunted but not defeated, I used one of the regular crappy cups and found solace in the fact that it was appropriately green.
As mentioned, I think it tastes pretty awful. Guess it's passable if you're into Sierra Mist, but I've yet to encounter a soul who is...maybe we've hit an impasse here. Mist fans, know that you're in a minority. Speak up. Demand your rights.
7-11 also housed a more widely available slice of Shrek crap, and I still can't believe it exists. I'd heard the rumors, oh yes, but who woulda thunk Chester Cheetah capable of disgorging Cheetos that turn your tongue green? Cheetahs are so rarely magicians.
It's no joke. Shrek 2 Cheetos Twisted look perfectly natural and orange, but as you chew, you mock photosynthesis.
Quit mocking photosynthesis, ya jerk.
Something interesting: how many poor souls will go to a 7-11 or some other deli, grab a bag of Cheetos but not really look at it because nobody really looks at bags of Cheetos, and find themselves in the position of having green shit all over their mouths with no idea why there's green shit all over their mouths? Thousands, I'd bet. In the time it took me to fuck up this paragraph, I bet six more people gunned to the emergency room with a spontaneous case of the ol' greenmouth.
And if that's not a reason to love Shrek...
There they are. Cheetos with superpowers. See how normal they look? Like if someone was coloring Q*Bert and didn't want to switch crayons when they got up to Enemy Snake Coily? Even those with amazing eyesight would fail to note any differences between these twisted Cheetos and regular twisted Cheetos. I've created this small presentation to introduce you to the greatest miracle since glowing popcorn:
Eh, I guess that wasn't a presentation. Just a picture, of a Cheeto in water, slowly releasing its inner puddles of green dye into the atmosphere -- on in other cases, your mouth. Be thankful I'm not showing you what a half-eaten magic green Cheeto looks like on top of a slimy tongue, because I did take that picture and it's pretty disgusting. For the record, I'd mark it more of a deep, deep emerald than green. The orange still permeates enough for the combined mixture to be more brownish, and brown-stained tongues with little bits of something gooey all over them won't win any popularity contests.
Some other things picked up for this round...
Down below are some quick, gritty pics snapped from my 23rd century camera phone. Can't remember where. Looks like a supermarket.
If I find more Shrek crap, my reports will be swift like ogre. If you haven't already, check out Volume I and Volume II. Shrek says to.
REPLIES: 192 comments
Another interesting find of Shrek Stuff Matt. :)
Chestnuts roasted by Tama chan @ 05/10/2004 04:19 AM EST
Hey Matt,
Man are these some great finds! The "Dixie-Shrek" cracked me up. And for the record My Grandmother and I both like Sierra Mist so I guess that makes 2 "Mist fans" so far.
BTW if someone could locate another issue of the Kool-Aid man comic for you would you be willing to do a follow up to that Kool-aid-man article? (I found it at my local antique store)
Chestnuts roasted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 05/10/2004 04:39 AM EST
in my opinion the shrek slurpee is absolutely delicious...i think ill get one right now....or go to sleep
Chestnuts roasted by matt @ 05/10/2004 05:19 AM EST
I can't wait for the movie to come out! :)
Chestnuts roasted by Fairy @ 05/10/2004 05:34 AM EST
Matt I thought I'd never say this, but "This obsession of yours has gotten out of hand." You've lost sight of what is truly important, that being the Chiaplot. If shrek trends continue I fear...what am I saying? Awww isn't the belly washer cute?
Chestnuts roasted by Trippy the 8th Dwarf @ 05/10/2004 06:58 AM EST
I've always wondered what Sierra Mist tasted like, I have yet to find it in my little part of Canada.
Chestnuts roasted by Naveed @ 05/10/2004 08:17 AM EST
I'm a Sierra Mist fan, too.
Felt kind of weird about the drink when it first came out, never quite tasted right, then i read the lable and figured out that it's just a 7up/Spirite/Slice/Lemon-Lime knock off. Not that it's my all time favorite, but i don't really see much of a difference between any of the lemon lime drinks, either. They're different, but not enough that i care.
Chestnuts roasted by JohnnyCasino @ 05/10/2004 08:33 AM EST
mmmm sierra mist...
i didn't think shrek was all that great to begin w/.
however it wAS better than van helsing...
Chestnuts roasted by ANdrew @ 05/10/2004 08:54 AM EST
I have never seen so much ad placement for a movie. I wonder how much they paid for all of this crap.
I still can't wait to see the movie, though.
Chestnuts roasted by Stilewalker @ 05/10/2004 09:27 AM EST
oh man I definitely like sierra mist...better then sprite....and shrek was ok and everything but can you imagine if every fucking movie that came along had that much advertising crap? Once the movies are over that shit is thrown away. What a shame.....
Chestnuts roasted by Emmaaaaa @ 05/10/2004 09:55 AM EST
I want a Dixie Shrek! I can just see him, riding in his pickup, gunrack in back, rebel flag flying high... playing a banjo while wearing a Confederate kepi...
(Disclaimer: I'm from Alabama, so I can say these things... No comments about "Damn you and your Southern stereotypes!")
Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 05/10/2004 10:01 AM EST
I wish they had put this much effort into the merchandising for Nukie.
Chestnuts roasted by Darth Monkey @ 05/10/2004 10:31 AM EST
I was one of the people suprized with the green cheeto hell.
After about 2 of those things I realize they weren't so good cause of the funky filie taste and ohyeah my mouth was green! Even after the mouth maintance possible my mouth was still feeling pretty nasty for about 3 to 4 hours. So watch out Green Cheetos ARE MADE of People!
Chestnuts roasted by C Racey @ 05/10/2004 10:35 AM EST
I wish they would re-release ectocooler than this crap.
I hate that movie... it did not deserve a sequel
Chestnuts roasted by KujakuDM @ 05/10/2004 10:35 AM EST
If you think thats nuts, the U.S. Postal service takes it one further by stamping Shrek and the donkey on every processed letter in the country!
Chestnuts roasted by nad812 @ 05/10/2004 10:56 AM EST
I hate Shreck, I hate him so much I don't care wheter or not I spelled his name right. Shrecks also a ugly mother fucker, I wish he was'nt on everything from soda to birth control pills. In fact, just looking at him makes me angry, I guess I can't go grocery shopping till the movie comes out and they pull all the Shreck crap off the shelves. Oh yeah Matt, I happen to find a copy of that Tamagotchi video at the anime store at my local mall. I had to buy it, for 10 bucks. Looking back, I think I coulda spent my money better. Oh well.
Chestnuts roasted by James @ 05/10/2004 11:04 AM EST
Another visit to Easy Video, eh? Is this a hint at another crazy movie review in the works?
And yeah, I'm starting to wonder where Chia Plot is. It woudl be nice by now to just come out and tell us you're not going to finish it.
Chestnuts roasted by Behonkiss @ 05/10/2004 11:16 AM EST
Nah, because I'm sure I'll go back to the Chia Plot eventually.
Easy Video was pretty dry because I don't actually have an account there (just search the sale bins). Did find a few site-worthy things for the coming weeks, tho.
Oh, and can someone re-explain the Shrek post office thing to me again?
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/10/2004 11:21 AM EST
Man....forget Shrek-a-licious, gimme FANTA BLUE RASPBERRY!!!!
I'm sorry but the brand name Fanta is instant comedy to me. It will never overpower the greatness of Shasta though which is the greatest low profile cheap-ass soda from the 80's. Ever heard of Shasta, Matt?
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 05/10/2004 11:31 AM EST
Phung -- Hell yes. Search the blog for "Tiki Punch."
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/10/2004 11:32 AM EST
Actually, Ortega taco shells are made of people - Green Cheetos are made of frog intestines...
Chestnuts roasted by MST2K fan @ 05/10/2004 11:38 AM EST
Wow, I would never expect any less from Shasta. I think I'm going to protest Shrek 2 by sitting at home watching all 3 Christmas Story based movies and perhaps all of the critters movies. The Hollywood hype machine kills yet another movie....
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 05/10/2004 11:39 AM EST
Little Brother's cat is a very picky eater, won't touch people food, but she will lick the "cheese" off a Cheeto. Last time they had the green ones, he let her check one out. Ever see a pissed-off cat with a green tounge? Fun-nee!
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 05/10/2004 11:50 AM EST
How could anyone not like Mountain Dew? It's the breakfast of champions.
Chestnuts roasted by a piece of milk @ 05/10/2004 11:59 AM EST
A least MLB isn't selling base pad space to the shrek people, they reserved that for spidey.
Chestnuts roasted by naturekid @ 05/10/2004 12:00 PM EST
I'm glad Major League Baseball decided to NOT put Spidey 2 on the bases. For once they did what was in the FAN'S interests and not giving into the millions of dollars they were ready to recieve. And anyways I thought the first Spidey movie was a piece of crap so the new one can't be any better.
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 05/10/2004 12:10 PM EST
This latest movie merchandising blitz is massive, but I think it will be outdone soon enough. When I saw the insane amount of products with HULK plastered on them before and during that movie's run (what is it with big green guys anyway?) I thought it couldn't get worse. Oh how wrong I was. Before that the biggest I noticed was Phantom Menace, but I'll excuse that since I'm a Star Wars fan. Still, it shows a growing trend. I'll bet the next big thing totally blows this blitz out of the water. As for what that thing will be (Batman Begins, Garfield, Pirates of the Caribbean 2, etc.)... time will tell.
Chestnuts roasted by Frostor @ 05/10/2004 12:32 PM EST
Speaking only in terms of the mass marketing a la Shrek...
Garfield has potential, but I don't think the tie-in products will be anywhere near as strange as Shrek, or even Hulk or Spongey.
Batman Begins will likely be a bit too dark for a complete takeover. Pity.
I'm honestly not sure if Shrek 2 can be topped.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/10/2004 12:35 PM EST
I had not heard that MLB dropped the Idea. Kudos MLB. Now if only the Brewers could stop sucking...
Chestnuts roasted by naturekid @ 05/10/2004 12:36 PM EST
I used to be a siera mist fan, until i saw that commercial witht he scotish guy standing over the steam vent. That totaly ruined any appeal siera mist had for me.
Chestnuts roasted by Bright Noah @ 05/10/2004 12:45 PM EST
Up here in Canada "Mac's" (The Canadian equivilant of 7-11) has thier own version of the Shrek 2 Slurpee, However insted of Sierra mist (as the above poster said we have yet to get in Canada) flavoued it's just plain Lime flavoured.
Chestnuts roasted by Klepto Fu Pete @ 05/10/2004 12:47 PM EST
Oh i forgot, if you are reviewing some more movies on the site, you got to review C.H.U.D. It's a cheesy 80's horror film staring Daniel Stern of home alone and city slickers fame. John Goodman also has a bit part in it.
Chestnuts roasted by Bright Noah @ 05/10/2004 12:48 PM EST
http://www.homestarrunner.com/cheatcommando.html
Chestnuts roasted by Rayzak @ 05/10/2004 12:50 PM EST
what does "shrek a licious" mean?
what play on words could that possibly be imitating?
Chestnuts roasted by ANdrew @ 05/10/2004 01:08 PM EST
Fanta was supposedly conjured up in Germany during the second world war. Somehow that seems very wrong to me..
anyways, Yay Shrek!
Chestnuts roasted by iivuli @ 05/10/2004 01:09 PM EST
Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers? I thought I was the only one who knew of its existence. I haven't seen it, but I feel accomplished enough having simply located it in the first place.
Chestnuts roasted by Darc_humor @ 05/10/2004 01:11 PM EST
C.H.U.D. + fanta + shasta = Soda Popinski vs. Swamp Thing
WOw, I am really bored....
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 05/10/2004 01:14 PM EST
Any chance of making a green-themed article with the hulk pinata and shrek? I miss the hulk pinata.
Green Sigh.
Chestnuts roasted by Max @ 05/10/2004 01:14 PM EST
Anyhoo, here's a few more flicks to add to the list: Leviathan, Angel Heart, Giant Spider Invasion, Frankenstein Island, Gothic.
Chestnuts roasted by Darc_humor @ 05/10/2004 01:15 PM EST
I to have seen the Shrek stamp. Amazing, and somewhat frightening. Hard to explain, it's the stamp they stamp on top of the stamp that tells you where the letter is from and when it was processed.
Chestnuts roasted by jhnnywalkr @ 05/10/2004 01:31 PM EST
I believe this is a sign of the upcoming end of times...lets assume that Shrek is supposed to be some kind of puffy smooth reptile. Children love him, adults dont find him that annoying, and the corperate world slaps his image on everything. Now that the world loves this marshmallowian reptile, they are ready for the next step...
Chestnuts roasted by BetaChester @ 05/10/2004 01:33 PM EST
Matt, you have to go hunt down a copy of Shrek Operation. It's the game Operation, with Shrek as the patient!
Chestnuts roasted by Chrizzle @ 05/10/2004 01:53 PM EST
I know this is totally off subject but I think Nintendo needs to make a new Punch Out game. I hope in the new version you can select from any of the old schoolers and add a whole slew of newbies. It would be sweet to kick some ass with King Hippo or Great Tiger. I'd love to knock someone down with one of those silly Great Tiger "magic punches". They should keep the game setup exactly the same. I hate how game companies have to make EVERYTHING 3-d. With all the time you save and rendering the graphics you could actually make the game play impecible. Anyways, it should include all characters, hidden characters, and all that fun stuff. Maybe a combo system...please Nintendo answer my prayers.
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 05/10/2004 01:57 PM EST
Shrek is bigger than Jesus and the Beatles combined... it's sad.
Chestnuts roasted by Patrick, Ace Doorknob Salesman @ 05/10/2004 02:08 PM EST
I like Sierra Mist.
I don't like Shrek.
And I agree with phunqsauce: A new Punch Out would rock my socks.
Chestnuts roasted by Jeffster @ 05/10/2004 02:08 PM EST
"BODY BLOW! BODY BLOW! UPPERCUT!" I'm still looking for Punch-Out! for my NES, and Super Punch-Out! for my SNES. I wonder if that dual screen GB experiment that's coming out will have a proper version to play?
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 05/10/2004 02:33 PM EST
Wow! I'd like to comment and congratulate people in this thread. This has to be the first thread that I have ever read where some ignoramus hasn't annouched being first post. It show's real maturity of XE's fans and makes this more of a real webcommunity. Let's see how long this phenomenon lasts.
Chestnuts roasted by ZacWax @ 05/10/2004 02:35 PM EST
Shit!
This Shrek madness has even gotten into my bag of tobacco, It's green now too!
Oops.. Wrong bag :P
Chestnuts roasted by Cyanyde @ 05/10/2004 02:43 PM EST
"but it's still sorta fun to see the entire planet renegotiate itself into a living advertisement for Shrek 2."
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!
Chestnuts roasted by Cyanyde @ 05/10/2004 02:45 PM EST
sierra mist isn't too bad. by the way, this website kicks major ass. i found it yesterday through fuck society, great stuff.
Chestnuts roasted by hybrid @ 05/10/2004 02:51 PM EST
One of the Shrek figures in Hasbro's Shrek 2 figure line has a farting action feature. I kid ye not. And there's also a dragon with a baby dragon/donkey hybrid,so we know Donkey is goin to get some action in the film.
Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 05/10/2004 02:51 PM EST
52nd Post! Hah, I made it! Eat that you other idiots!!!!
Not much else going on here... SHREK needs to turn into a real boy... a real fat boy.
I saw an inverview with Mike Meyers, and he said that when they originally cast Shrek, he was supposed to be voiced by Chris Farley, but since a) it took so long to make, and b) Chris Farley went the way of... well, Chris Farley-- they Got Mike Meyers instead.
Chestnuts roasted by The Return of Long Duck Dong @ 05/10/2004 02:57 PM EST
Imagine if it got that bad where drug dealers sold their product in green celophane or have shrek 2 blotter paper for acid. It wouldn't suprise me if its out there. Perhaps shrek 2 green Preparation H? Green KY? Where will it end?
By the way, look for the phunqsauce room on yahoo messenger under arts and entertainment in the user rooms. Ii'm bored.....
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 05/10/2004 03:03 PM EST
www.chud.com is a great movie scoop site.
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 05/10/2004 03:04 PM EST
I once saw shrek snort coke! True story! Him and snuffleupagus(sp on purpose damnit!) were having an orgy with that thing from polkadot door. Doors with polkadots....hmmm....they must've been really hurting for ideas back then. Oh well, better a polkadotted door than a striped purple tree. Chotto Matte! Isn't a polka a folk dance? If so, why does it have a dot? My corn dance has no dots, so what's up with the dots? Maybe I need to put dots in my dance. Yeah,it will confuse death and thus I'll be immortal!!! Long live dance dots!!!! Where was I? Oh yeah, Shrek's a gaylord.
Chestnuts roasted by Crow Warrior @ 05/10/2004 03:05 PM EST
'Try New X-TREME JELL-O® Pudding Sticks'
http://web.kraftfoods.com/jello/main.aspx?s=&m=jlo_news_mar04
I saw the commercial the other day.
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 05/10/2004 03:16 PM EST
Darc_humor, C.H.U.D. has been out on dvd for about a year. You can get it for $10 at Walmart
Chestnuts roasted by Bright Noah @ 05/10/2004 03:27 PM EST
Anybody remember when Cheetos had a tie-in with Monsters Inc where the Cheetos would turn your tongue blue? Also Shrek 2 is supposed to have the obligatory fast food tie-in with Burger King as well.
Chestnuts roasted by Luap @ 05/10/2004 03:28 PM EST
WHY SHREK WHY MUST YOU COVER THE WORLD WITH YOUR DISGUSTING PRODUCTS!!!!!!
Chestnuts roasted by Batman @ 05/10/2004 03:28 PM EST
Are any shrek products just re-releases of hulk products?
Chestnuts roasted by jghf kgh @ 05/10/2004 03:41 PM EST
hmmmmmmmmm..... Shrek vs. The Hulk Could you imagine the ad compaign? I think they would dye the ocean green if that was the case. EVERYTHING would be green. You would get severely beaten by policemen if caught not wearing green. I'd actually like to see the idea materialize because i'd like to see The Hulk knock the stuffin' outta Shrek. The Movie would have to be rated NC-17 for the violence content...
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 05/10/2004 03:46 PM EST
I really dislike Shrek. Everytime I see the character's stupid, unfunny face or hear Mike Myer's stupid, unfunny voice, I die a little inside.
Chestnuts roasted by Ubu Rex @ 05/10/2004 03:51 PM EST
phunqsauce: I think this could very well happen to Ecstasy pills sold on the street. A visit to erowid.org will display a variety of colorful different pills. All it will take is for some clever dealer to take 1 part methamphetamine, 10 parts MDMA, 100 parts green coloring and stamp a shrek silhouette on it. Rave on, kids and look for the pill on ecstasydata.org in a few months.
Chestnuts roasted by Kit @ 05/10/2004 03:55 PM EST
Drink about a half-gallon of green food coloring, then go to see the movie. Go to the bathroom, don't flush, scream "Look what the movie did to me!" and improvise after that.
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 05/10/2004 04:17 PM EST
What? No pics of Matt with a green tongue. I'll take my business elsewhere.
Chestnuts roasted by ineptitude @ 05/10/2004 04:32 PM EST
Werner Herzog ( www.imdb.com/name/nm0001348/ ) faces off with Nessie www.aintitcoolnews.com/display.cgi?id=17523
Is THIS Nessie?
http://www.truthaboutlochness.com/video/enigmanessie.mov
http://www.truthaboutlochness.com/video/enigmanessie.wmv
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 05/10/2004 04:37 PM EST
I was just in the middle of polishing my wand when this thought occurred to me: Shrek would look hilarious on a big green condom. Could you see that lookin' up at you from down-under?
Or you could make it Donkey-Sized for bigger men.
And for women-- Puss in Boots Diaphragms.
Or Princess Fiona Deusche.
I think I talked about this the other day on Shrek Blog #2.
Chestnuts roasted by The Return of Long Duck Dong @ 05/10/2004 04:48 PM EST
I think ANdrew was being a bit harsh on Van Helsing earlier. It would be a perfect movie if they just cut it down a bit.
Start with all the vampires yelling at each other in bad Romanian accents, then cut to "Some people say you're a holy man. Other people say you're a murderer, blah blah blah" scene that they keep on showing in the preview. It may appear out of place, but it's not like it wasn't out of place in the movie as released.
Keeping with the "out of place" theme, cut from there straight to Frankenstein's monster's performance of "Gangsta's Paradise" and straight from there to the climactic scene in which Dracula explains to Van Helsing that he was the one who killed him way back when (because, you know, he's the left hand of God, or the right hand, or something...). Then finish it of with Sommers's heart-rending dedication "to the memory of my dad" (his dad, not mine). Then, it would be perfect.
Unfortunately, they spent a bit too much time trying to form a semi-coherent plot. I guess there's always the director's cut. Unlike Shrek, however, I don't recall any fart jokes or ass jokes. That's a plus.
Did anyone watch Shrek with the commentary track? They said that there were originally so many ass jokes that they had to cut all of the ass jokes that weren't puns on "ass" being a synonym for "donkey".
Chestnuts roasted by gmfbrown @ 05/10/2004 04:52 PM EST
.......Absolutely amazing.... so much crap that nobody really cares about put into advertising about a sequel of a movie that kinda had a good ending point and didn't need a sequel. I hate those stupid people at the advertising office. BTW good idea kingklash I might try it. :)
Chestnuts roasted by Cowman @ 05/10/2004 04:57 PM EST
ME stop bein an advertising freak like the freaks who came up with all this Shrek 2 crap.
Chestnuts roasted by Cowman @ 05/10/2004 05:01 PM EST
Come on, ME provides a service!
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/10/2004 05:02 PM EST
ME is a priceless addition to this blog, and if anybody calls him/her a spammer I'll meet them in the dawn's light with pistols drawn! At ten paces! En garde!
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 05/10/2004 05:11 PM EST
Matt, you do provide a service, and for that you are to be commended. On the other hand, some conclusion to the Chia-Plot story would be a mighty nice service too.
About King Klash's suggestion... I know if you eat blue slushees, your poop will turn blue. Could you turn it Shrek-Green if you tried? Hmmmm...
Oh-- and I didn't know X-E came out in print?! That's awesome, even if it is only in Deleware!
Chestnuts roasted by The Return of Long Duck Dong @ 05/10/2004 05:11 PM EST
First time poster. Couln't stand Shrek. It was Unfunny and dull.
But I was wondering, could anyone help me figure out what these movies are? The first one was something about a kid's brain being chopped out and put into a dinosaur. I am not kidding. The second was people being turned into circus freaks. Sorry to go so off topic.
Chestnuts roasted by Jimmy Putty @ 05/10/2004 05:17 PM EST
What should I do?! Cowman is on to the ME pyramid scheme, but Matt and squee4242 are nice enough to defend ME.
I wonder if Cowman would cry if he knew I was paralyzed. I'm not physically, but you could make an arguement about socially.
Ah well, so goes the life of a link carpetbagger.
Jimmy Putty:
www.imdb.com/title/tt0111361/
www.imdb.com/title/tt0086336/
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 05/10/2004 05:19 PM EST
Do Zagnut candybars still exist?? How about Zero bars??
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 05/10/2004 05:21 PM EST
Thank you, thank you ME. Those movies have haunted me for years, yet I didn't know what they were.
Chestnuts roasted by Jimmy Putty @ 05/10/2004 05:21 PM EST
So when are they coming out with Shrek bathroom tissue? Nothing better than gettign a fresh clean feeling with the smiling face of Shrek.
Chestnuts roasted by Mangus Dangus @ 05/10/2004 05:23 PM EST
If anything has the potential to outdo the Shrek II media blitz it's going to be Spiderman II. They've already tried to get him on the Yankees bases for crying out load. It is only a warm up, watch and see.
Chestnuts roasted by Wenthral @ 05/10/2004 05:31 PM EST
shrek has gone mad with power!
stop the maddness
but the drink thing is good
Chestnuts roasted by cat @ 05/10/2004 05:33 PM EST
God damn this thread is a waste of time.
Chestnuts roasted by d'avery @ 05/10/2004 05:55 PM EST
uh oh.......... I smell a future article featuring Lilo and Stitch Kid Cuisine. Just saw the commercial.....Stitch shaped chicken nuggets!
Will it ever END?
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 05/10/2004 06:15 PM EST
Sierra Mist?
Pardon me while I vomit.
It's weird but we in Australia have not caught Shrek Fever yet. I've yet to see ONE thing with the Giant Green Head that is Shrek on our shelves or 7-11's or Ice Creamerys yet.
That said we are a TAD behind the times. I saw a 7-11 last week that was still selling the Hulk slurpee :). Needless to say, drinking slurpees that haven't been cleaned or obviously touched for 18 months is one of my pasttimes (Yes I live life on the RAGGED EDGE BABY!) I couldn't get the money out of my wallet fast enough. It wasn't bad actually and I can't say I've had any ill effects......other than a weird quest for the last bottle of Pepsi Blue.
Chestnuts roasted by Troy @ 05/10/2004 06:17 PM EST
Theres a Shrek II O_o
first time ive heard about it
Chestnuts roasted by Sabre @ 05/10/2004 06:36 PM EST
Jimmy Putty: That second movie sounds like "Freaked". Randy Quaid turns some of his circus patrons into side show freaks such as a guy with a sock puppet for a head. Mr. T plays the bearded lady. Great movie.
Chestnuts roasted by KJB @ 05/10/2004 06:39 PM EST
Everytime i see that big,goofy 'Shrek' head,it reminds me of the actor Jon Favreau from that "Swingers" movie w/Vince Vaughn.does anyone else see that,or am I totally mental?
p.s. Matt...love the site,keep it up!
Chestnuts roasted by Steve_B @ 05/10/2004 06:43 PM EST
Bloody hell, that's a lot of Shrek crap. Your devotion to covering it all is truly inspiring, Matt. I'd salute you, but I'm not too sure if those photos of you naked cheetos being tortured are entirely on the up and up...but I suppose you were just following the orders of your superior. ;)
Jeez, the twists these comments take are totally unpredictable...much like a twisted cheeto that turns your tongue green.
But at least that explains it -- on the commercial it doesn't say anything about Shrek, so I was wondering where the green tongue fit in. It still makes no sense, but now I understand. :P
Chestnuts roasted by Wes @ 05/10/2004 07:16 PM EST
I can't say I'm a big fan of Sierra Mist (love Mountan Dew though) but I thought the Slurpee was pretty good. I'm keeping my eye out for that bobblehead Swamp Punch.
Chestnuts roasted by Justin @ 05/10/2004 07:17 PM EST
The second movie is "Freaked". I always remembered the earthworm man. God, it disturbed me.
Chestnuts roasted by Jimmy Putty @ 05/10/2004 07:21 PM EST
Diet Pepsi? Am I seeing that right, a Diet Pepsi Slupree? I like Diet Pepsi and all (heck its the only thing I drink) but to be honest it doesn't have any real flavor. So I can't even imagine what a Diet Pepsi flavored would taste like, sadly there are no 7-11 in my part of the country so I guess I'll never know.
Chestnuts roasted by Emperor_Zorak @ 05/10/2004 07:48 PM EST
Shrek Punch? Tell me I'm not the only one who thinks "Donkey Punch" would make a great tie-in...
Chestnuts roasted by Monster Dog @ 05/10/2004 07:54 PM EST
Hurry Hurry step right up, Funky Fries reduced for quick sale at your local vons! Support jimmy!! >:O
I saw something else strange that was next to them, a product called "confetti Fishsticks". Yes fishsticks with sprinkles on them. The end is near people, dead men tell no tales.
Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 05/10/2004 08:19 PM EST
Man, I knew I should have gone to 7-11 today instead of WaWa...
Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 05/10/2004 08:56 PM EST
Matt, next time you're at Easy Video, please check to see if they have any episodes of "the Raccoons" I think you should review it if possible.
Chestnuts roasted by Keegan B. @ 05/10/2004 09:39 PM EST
My mom likes Sierra Mist.
I find it moderately non-awful.
Chestnuts roasted by Silkenray @ 05/10/2004 09:55 PM EST
Oh just wait. Office Ghetto....er....Depot, my place of employment, just got a planogram in for a Shrek endcap. The featured item? HP Multipurpose paper specially SKUed as Shrek paper. Not sure if it is green or not (God I hope not), but its going to be front and center in a matter of days.
Chestnuts roasted by Ron Beauregard @ 05/10/2004 10:07 PM EST
I'm telling you, we need shrek 2 Shasta!!!!!
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 05/10/2004 10:13 PM EST
Sierra Mist offers a blast of that refreshing, lemon-lime twist, offered by no other carbonated beverage on the market. Not only that, but some studies have found that Sierra Mist increases your IQ, attracts the opposite sex (or same sex for homosexuals), and has a 72% probability of getting you a raise at work, according to some studies.
-Average Consumer.
Chestnuts roasted by CEO Pepsico @ 05/10/2004 10:19 PM EST
Im still waiting for the shrek board games...vitamins...and of course the bobble head..what movie character hasnt got one of them?
Chestnuts roasted by Mr.Fun @ 05/10/2004 10:49 PM EST
I'm glad nobody's pissed becuase I gave away a semi-movie spolier. Movie merchandising does that all the time. One of the Anakin figures released before Attack of the Clones came with a removeable arm,and there was the Future Smith from the Lost in Space movie line,but with "Don't open until you see the movie" packaging.
Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 05/10/2004 10:50 PM EST
But no shreck toilet paper? What a let down.
Chestnuts roasted by Meidara @ 05/10/2004 11:15 PM EST
102 posts already?
Wow.
(TOO MUCH SHREK SHIT!)
Chestnuts roasted by Mathew Olson @ 05/11/2004 12:16 AM EST
oh man, Monster Dog with the "Donkey-Punch" comment...
hilarious!
Chestnuts roasted by VolklMonkey @ 05/11/2004 12:43 AM EST
Blugh...I don't like Slurpees. Not to mention that the nearest 7-11 is in Hillsboro, which is 40 miles away from where I live. Sometimes a group gets together to trek to 7-11 and get Slurpees. That's college for you.
Anyway, I liked Shrek, but this is just ridiculous. You know its a conspiracy when USPS gets involved in the promotion, too.
Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 05/11/2004 12:44 AM EST
I like goats
Chestnuts roasted by tetsuo @ 05/11/2004 03:57 AM EST
We have both Z bars out here in OK. My town is just crawling with them. I like Zero bars a lot, but only eat them once in a great while. Diabetes, you know.
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 05/11/2004 11:42 AM EST
Hey Matt,
I think that spring-loaded bellywashers bottle might be a cheapass bobblehead-type gimmick...
Chestnuts roasted by Matt Vander Plow @ 05/11/2004 01:05 PM EST
Matt,
Why is it taking you sooo long to make the next chia plot. Is it because those rock tumblers take 2 months to do the job. If thats the reason then I suppose its a viable one. Otherwise me and my fellow X-E readers will have to revolt. VIVA LA RESISTANCE! CHIA PLOT!
Chestnuts roasted by Lonewolf @ 05/11/2004 01:09 PM EST
SHREK 2 Bellywasher?? DON'T DRINK IT! If it's anything like the Batman Bellywasher, your epiglottiswill leap forward and cling to the roof of your mouth to avoid contact with the vile toxin! It's like they took Robitussin, removed the alcohol and somehow made it thinner than water.
Chestnuts roasted by Aaron @ 05/11/2004 02:21 PM EST
I found this funny article about the first Shrek Movie ;)
http://www.gapingmaw.com/68447/
Chestnuts roasted by xresx @ 05/11/2004 04:39 PM EST
My mom loves Sierra Mist... DIET SIERRA MIST! You think the regular is bad? Just have a can of the diet. It's kinda like Sprite and 7up got mixed in the same vat and a hobo took a piss in it. Yea, it's kinda like that.
Chestnuts roasted by Trampus @ 05/11/2004 05:10 PM EST
I have a theory. Mass marketing of movies on products and products in movies has increased steadily and dramatically over the years. I have come up with an equation to explain this phenomena.
(Number of movies, sequels, and spinoff TV series) + (Number of products that endorse said movies and TV shows) = (More the movies and TV shows suck ass)
Generally, the higher the total number, the worse it sucks.
Chestnuts roasted by Syntania @ 05/11/2004 07:15 PM EST
That's my kind of movie. Matt's my kind of guy. Thanks Matt for that article. It gave me mixed feelings about Shrek forever.
Chestnuts roasted by Dancer @ 05/12/2004 03:27 AM EST
Yesterday I was posting mail at the post office, and Shrek was there too.
Chestnuts roasted by PoeDear @ 05/12/2004 03:27 AM EST
you guys missed the shrek M&Ms :)
Chestnuts roasted by Stevo @ 05/12/2004 11:44 AM EST
I like Sierra Mist.
Chestnuts roasted by boogety boogety boo @ 05/12/2004 12:24 PM EST
Funny...but also scary in a way. Marketing is really a pain in the a** nowadays. And I don't think Shrek 2 needs it. From what I've seen in the trailers it seems to be an awesome movie. Oh well, guess they can never have enough money...
Chestnuts roasted by Leela @ 05/12/2004 03:02 PM EST
You took the last few pictures at a Pathmark, it looks like.
Chestnuts roasted by Lawn Guylanduh @ 05/12/2004 04:05 PM EST
At least Shrek isn't hawking canned vegetables...touting peas' "green peaness."
Chestnuts roasted by Lawn Guylanduh @ 05/12/2004 04:07 PM EST
don't give them ideas... ;)
Chestnuts roasted by Leela @ 05/12/2004 06:33 PM EST
I liked Shrek, and I'm looking forward to Shrek 2... on the other hand, Van Helsing B-L-O-W-S.
Think of every horror/monster movie cliche you can, then string them together in no real order. You've just simulated seeing the movie while saving yourself the cost of admission.
Hype doesn't always mean a bad movie... the first Harry Potter movie got a hype overkill, and I thought it was great. Luckily they eased up on that stuff by the second movie. Movie three comes out in June! Ding ding ding!
Chestnuts roasted by Welsh Rabbit @ 05/12/2004 06:43 PM EST
Man... I just checked the box I received from the States last friday (containing none other than Anniversary Optimus Prime and Sideswipe, by the way) and there's no USPS Shrek stamp on it. Then again it doesn't have any stamps, just a printed label. Or maybe they are a bit too embarrassed to actually show the world how easily bought they are.
Chestnuts roasted by Siegfried @ 05/12/2004 07:02 PM EST
shrek is TAKING OVER THE WHOLE FREAKIN WORLD!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! yes, i have caught on to u shrek so watch ur back u, u,.,.,., OGER
ya, ya. that's RIGHT. i went there
Chestnuts roasted by Sara @ 05/12/2004 07:44 PM EST
It's like 'Star Wars Episode I' all over again... five years later! Why isn't Shrek's Princess on the Sierra Mist Light like when Amadala was on the Diet Pepsi?
How about a KFC promo with collector's cup puppet toppers?
Donkey is the new Jar-Jar!
Chestnuts roasted by AngeFaitore @ 05/12/2004 08:47 PM EST
I forgot to mention that I'm looking forward to seeing Shrek 2.
Chestnuts roasted by keegan B. @ 05/12/2004 09:14 PM EST
Shrek has "jumped the shark", and it hasn't even hit theaters yet! But Shrek pales in comparison to the power of Ice Cream Cones Cereal, as hawked by Ice Cream Jones. Come on Matt, Ice Cream Jones is the real threat!
Chestnuts roasted by Jwalters @ 05/12/2004 10:00 PM EST
Hey I agree that sierra mist sucks but anyone who hates Mountain Dew is nothing but a UnAmerican Communist
Chestnuts roasted by MardiGrasEd @ 05/12/2004 10:29 PM EST
I like Sierra Mist.
Thank you and have a nice day. = )
Chestnuts roasted by youjik33 @ 05/13/2004 12:31 AM EST
My now-7yo daughter got one of her bday party invites back (there was a typo in the school's directory.). As I was trying to explain on her level why we GOT something in the mail that WE had SENT, she said "Ohhh, she can't come because she's going to the new Shrek movie." You know, it's as good an explanation as any for why the USPS is whoring itself out to such an extent.
Shoulda scanned it and sent it to Matt, but like some sort of...of...MOM! I put it in the recyling bin.
Chestnuts roasted by Beth @ 05/13/2004 01:13 AM EST
I like Shrek, and I like Sierra Mist. :D
Chestnuts roasted by GJ @ 05/13/2004 04:50 AM EST
They need to make Shrek hands, like they did for The Hulk
Chestnuts roasted by bunnymud @ 05/13/2004 03:11 PM EST
I got Sierra Mist in my hair while throwing cans in the air and running away before they hit me. After they hit the ground a few times, they obviously start to leak and spray. Then it gets in your hair. Or my hair. And it gets hard and sticky. Then you need shampoo.
Chestnuts roasted by Tougi @ 05/13/2004 04:48 PM EST
Dear matt
what is your address?
I am a worker for Sierra mist and because of your earnest love of Sierra mist, we have decided to send you a crate of it!
Chestnuts roasted by alex @ 05/13/2004 08:09 PM EST
Oi....I'm sick of Shrek as well. I work in a grocery store bakery...and now we're pumping out Shrek cake after Shrek cake....I'm so sick of the colors green and orange but I'm dying to steal all the gummy worms they put on those cakes..
^v^
Chestnuts roasted by Mistress Batty @ 05/13/2004 08:42 PM EST
Fuck the Commodore!!!!
PENIS!!!!!!!!
Chestnuts roasted by Crow Warrior @ 05/13/2004 09:07 PM EST
how many poor souls will go to a 7-11 or some other deli, grab a bag of Cheetos but not really look at it because nobody really looks at bags of Cheetos, and find themselves in the position of having green shit all over their mouths with no idea why there's green shit all over their mouths?
Oddly enough, Matt...
Chestnuts roasted by marril159 @ 05/14/2004 12:52 AM EST
DEATH TO SHREK!!! I SWEAR THIS SHREK CRAP REALLY PISSES ME OFF!
SOME ONE NEEDS TO PULL THE PLUG. THE DIXIE CUP THING WAS CUTE THOUGH.... SIERRA MIST TASTES LIKE PISS.
Chestnuts roasted by INVISIBLE MAN @ 05/14/2004 05:24 AM EST
I work in a movie theater and Shrek 2 is creeping ever closer. Somebody save me from the insanity!!
Chestnuts roasted by Nick B. @ 05/14/2004 01:23 PM EST
Matt, is this the most heavily marketed/cross promoted movie of all time? 90% of it focuses on junkfood. In more disturbing news, I watched Shrek for the first time today. I have no idea why I rented it, I did though. I got halfway through and went to bed. It was cute and not bad if I had to drag a child to a film on a rainy day. Oh and yeah believe this: SHREK IS ALL ABOUT ANTI-DISNEY PROPAGANDA! Yup, thats the underlying message.
Chestnuts roasted by justice @ 05/14/2004 03:14 PM EST
Matt! You and Shrek were in my wet dream!
Chestnuts roasted by Ogre Booger @ 05/14/2004 09:19 PM EST
I just saw a commercial for Sierra Mist promoting Shrek 2. It takes place after the original movie, with Shrek and Fiona in the onion carriage and all. Shrek is being annoyed by Donkey. So much, in fact, that he comes out and tosses Donkey into space, where he takes a swig of Sierra Mist before falling back down. Yep.
Speaking of onions, I mentioned to my dad something that's been established in the original movie: Orges and onions both have layers. My dad replied, "Layers of what? Layers of beef? Layers of pork? Layers of money?" Judging from all this promotion, I'd say layers of money.
Chestnuts roasted by NES Boy @ 05/15/2004 12:04 AM EST
Slushi's still rule no matter what the hell is on 'em.
Chestnuts roasted by Kenny @ 05/15/2004 05:20 AM EST
Shrek was good, but I mean...Jesus
Chestnuts roasted by Former A1C Pete @ 05/15/2004 10:58 AM EST
I work at Wal-Mart...That's bad enough, BUT:
One of our Support Managers looks like Shrek. You know, I'm talking EXACTLY LIKE THE BASTARD.
But you know what's worse?
She's a female...
God I hate my job...And i hate Shrek...
Chestnuts roasted by The Wally World Man @ 05/15/2004 06:49 PM EST
Hey Matt it's Charlie. This is nothing dude. I work at a retail store and there has been truckloads of Shrek Shit coming in every week. Just off the top of my head, the following are in our store: Shrek Monopoly, Shrek costume set, Shrek Skateboards, Shrek novelty cups, Shrek Operation board game, Shreklaces, Shrek t-shirts, and the list goes on. Can someone end this commercial cancer that has infected the consumer market?
Chestnuts roasted by Chazmyth @ 05/15/2004 07:35 PM EST
Hey matt not sure if you already know about it but the shrek blitzkrieg just sunk even lower. I was watching TV earlier and lo and behold I witness one fo the scariest shrek product yet a special edtion of the age old classic board game Operation. I shudder to think what the next shrek product will be
Chestnuts roasted by The Krypt Angel @ 05/15/2004 11:44 PM EST
I too have seen shrek operation, I need shrek risk before I am convinced shrek has taken over
BTW I just got back from I-mockery
could you review mnos the hands of fate, matt?
/odd sentence structure
Chestnuts roasted by bogey b @ 05/16/2004 12:38 AM EST
Up here in Canada it is no better- Shrek has also taken over our country. I have seen 80,000 Shrek promotional materials at the grocery store, toy store, etc. yet I have seen only ONE actual preview for the stinkin movie on TV. ONE. AND- it was only like 15 seconds long. Maybe the promotional crap is overcompensating for something...?
Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 05/16/2004 02:05 AM EST
shrek is funny not funny the funnyst
Chestnuts roasted by jake @ 05/16/2004 01:38 PM EST
ja jó szerintem is
Chestnuts roasted by noya(from Hungary) @ 05/16/2004 02:07 PM EST
http://specials.meijer.com/fsi.asp?sesid=790200696&refid=&waid=&country=&fsi=2784&lci=25095&fsp=181893&bts=1
My God! Shrek has taken over Meijer!
Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 05/16/2004 02:51 PM EST
Hey, found this site goin thro Maddox.....think i found myself a new place to chill...by the way I've never seen Sierra Mist but it sounds good, And I LOVE SHREK!!!!! Can't wait to see the new one, that part in the trailor where Fiona throws Ariel back in the ocean!!!! Hilarious!!!!! Probably the main reason i wanna see the movie;-)
Chestnuts roasted by Stella420 @ 05/17/2004 12:10 AM EST
Cheeto's are fat, like Shrek, and make you fat, like
Chestnuts roasted by Val Aslanyan @ 05/17/2004 03:01 AM EST
I can say only this: LOL...
Chestnuts roasted by winner @ 05/17/2004 05:05 AM EST
i can say that i have never met a sierra mist fan either...i've tried it twice & it tasted like plastic both times to me...altho i think i'd take that over that old pepsi blue...
Chestnuts roasted by hope @ 05/17/2004 05:33 PM EST
If I were a penis, where would you be?
Chestnuts roasted by Crow Warrior @ 05/17/2004 09:25 PM EST
Well I thought that the slurpee was super awesome. But i like mtn dew so i guess that makes me weird. That is all.
Gummy Bear Productions
Chestnuts roasted by reckless @ 05/18/2004 01:28 AM EST
Check out the post office man. Mine is full of shrek posters ads and stamps. Christ.
Chestnuts roasted by fisherpricegirl @ 05/19/2004 07:11 AM EST
The ultimate product placement in a movie was Reese's Pieces. Looks like we have gone to hell since then. Phone home Shrek.
Chestnuts roasted by obx51 @ 05/19/2004 06:12 PM EST
dixie shrek?
isnt that alot like dixie rect?
or dicks erec....er
Chestnuts roasted by gijoe @ 05/19/2004 07:16 PM EST
i love shrek...my favorite character is the Donkey...he makes WAFFLES...lol...
Chestnuts roasted by april @ 05/20/2004 02:23 PM EST
I just happen to be a Sierra Mist fan. Although Tropical sprite is so much better. I have to avoid caffiene because of my position on a couple marksmanship teams, and some heart rate stuff that goes along with that.
12 hour LAN party, 14 Sierra Mists consumed. Top that.
Chestnuts roasted by The General @ 05/21/2004 01:22 AM EST
Just got back from watching the movie and had such a good time.
Eddie murphy as the Donkey voice was such a laugh :)
Chestnuts roasted by Jane Young @ 05/21/2004 04:07 PM EST
Just got back from watching the movie and had such a good time.
Eddie murphy as the Donkey voice was such a laugh :)
Chestnuts roasted by Jane Young @ 05/21/2004 04:08 PM EST
In a month or 2 all this stuff is going to end up at the dollar store and big lots, right next to the atlantis cheerios and the official Titan A-E 2001 Road Atlas.
I will be able to feast cheaply on the 4 cent bag of green dyed Shrek top ramen.
Chestnuts roasted by shrekked out @ 05/21/2004 10:11 PM EST
I thing Shrek is a sexy bugger, big and green, why dnt they put his poo in a packet? I'd buy it and wipe it on my genitals.
Chestnuts roasted by OLD KING COLE @ 05/22/2004 08:01 AM EST
Now I feel dirty for going to see the sequel. So dirty...
Chestnuts roasted by Snicket @ 05/22/2004 06:48 PM EST
tounge changeing cheetos ick!!
Chestnuts roasted by tink @ 05/24/2004 09:08 PM EST
I should be Matt.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/24/2004 11:44 PM EST
Chazmyth, I feel your pain. I too work in retail -- so I know that all of the things Matt has listed here, really are just the tip of the iceberg. There are some days where I want to buy a punching bag and hang Shrek's face on it, just so I can pretend kick his shit-eating grin right down his damn throat. This movie is suffering from serious over exposure ...
Chestnuts roasted by Trent @ 05/25/2004 12:13 AM EST
saw shrek 2 last week and almost pissed myself laughing at Puss 'n' Boots!!
An animated cat coughing up a hairball is hilarious in itself, but an animated cat dressed in boots and carrying a sword, with antonio banderas' voice coughing up a hairball!!
too funny
Chestnuts roasted by -Jen- @ 05/25/2004 02:17 PM EST
Who here wants to see Shrek Clue?
Who killed Shrek?
Was it Donkey with the Gingerbread Man in the castle?
Pinnochio with his thong in the Barneys store?
Puss with a hairball in the Pussycat Swingers' Club?
Chestnuts roasted by Zoro and Luffy's kid @ 05/26/2004 05:13 PM EST
I love chips and dip, it is the ultimate in snack food. I was at party the other day, and the chips bag had a picture of Shreck on the front, instantly causing me to lose my appetite. Why Shreck, why have you done this to me?!
Chestnuts roasted by bri @ 05/27/2004 10:34 PM EST
waaaaaaaaay too much shrek stoof out there. my family's so nuts about the movie that everywhere you turn in my house that horrible ogre is there, smiling in your face..........
what a nightmare!
O_O;;;;
*sits in fetal position* the madness will stop, it has to! i know it will! the green invasion must end!!!
Chestnuts roasted by Kaida @ 05/29/2004 04:25 PM EST
It's too bad that you don't like Shrek 2 but some of us think it's great. I saw where they had a game "Pin The Shades on the Donkey" that I sure wish I would have known about when they had them out. It would be a great game at my daughter's birthday party . I can't find one though. If anyone from Sierra Mist can get me one I would LOVE it !
Chestnuts roasted by Cindy @ 05/30/2004 11:53 AM EST
i like touching myself and shoving unnaturally large object up my ass
Chestnuts roasted by da' bitch @ 06/02/2004 01:16 AM EST
I live off Pepsi and Lays, I have never been in a grocery store. The movie was terrible, the theater was full and I sat in the front row. Shrek will soon sponsor little league sports teams.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt, a less important Matt @ 06/07/2004 11:26 PM EST
i love you matt, will you marry me?
Chestnuts roasted by stephanie @ 06/11/2004 11:20 AM EST
hey,my mom went into a quik-stop to pay for the gas she had just pumped while i sat in the car(what?people shouldnt depend on their kids to pump gas;it's not even my car)and came out with a bag of cheetos with none other than that green freak love-child of Fat Bastard and the grinch,shrek.and my mom ate a couple as she was drivin down the road,she ate a couple,and i KNEW what they do to your teeth,but i didnt say anything,becase that would have stopped her from eating them.so i say casually "holy shit,mom,your mouth is green",so she looked in the mirror,and took it pretty well,sipping some pepsi,thus washing the greenness(and my enjoyment)down her gullet.the reason i mention this is because matt writes something about people unknowingly turning their toongue green.by the way,matt,ninja turtles rule,as do your articles on them.i was born in '87,so i wasnt even AWARE some of the turtle crap you mention existed.it was ALL OVER THE MARKET!whoa,deja vu.
Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 06/13/2004 11:10 PM EST
man i hate shrek and the donkey.....but i think the princess is hot she is doable
Chestnuts roasted by DiAz @ 06/14/2004 11:24 AM EST
sierra mist is superior to sprite among lemon/lime beverages, most def.
Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 06/14/2004 12:40 PM EST
If shrek were a real person, I would kill him.
Chestnuts roasted by Adwanoc @ 06/14/2004 07:17 PM EST
Shrek go-gurt....
Chestnuts roasted by Sam @ 06/17/2004 01:31 AM EST
matt.. keep up the good work.. the new shrek movie was great.. puss n boots getting arrested for having catnip.. c'mon... HAHAHA
Chestnuts roasted by Capt_Howdy @ 06/19/2004 10:59 PM EST
'OY, BUGGER OFF!!
Well...
I'm actually not getting any pay for them plastering my face everywhere. And my merchandise sucks. Don't buy it. The Hulk is a MILF. Cameron, do you live in Raleigh? The teenage mutant ninja turtles raped Fiona.
Puss likes those cheeto's. He can't figure out why his crotch is green though.
Chestnuts roasted by Shrek @ 06/25/2004 08:42 PM EST
this is my........ PEE-PEE PLACE!!!
Chestnuts roasted by Retarded_Animal_Babie @ 06/29/2004 02:12 AM EST
this is my........ PEE-PEE PLACE!!!
Chestnuts roasted by Retarded_Animal_Babie @ 06/29/2004 02:12 AM EST
this is my..... PEE-PEE PLACE!!!
Chestnuts roasted by Retarded_Animal_Babie @ 06/29/2004 02:13 AM EST
every time i see something green i almost crap my pants. shrek gives me nightmares.
Chestnuts roasted by Lena K14 @ 07/01/2004 01:57 PM EST
I can't wait until they release the new official Shrek(TM) laundry detergent that turns all your clothes green! I only wish I were the head of their marketing department, we would put a large inflatable Shrek in Bahgdad, you would see Shrek-themed mini-vans, swamp scented Shrek Lysol, Shrek vitamins that turn your skin green, Shrek deodorant, Shrek salad, Shrek coctail, fried shrek, these people promoting Shrek are gonna have more money than most small countries. It's a mad mad mad world. I'm gonna go buy a pack of Shrek green smoke cigarettes =)
Chestnuts roasted by psilocyber @ 07/02/2004 12:36 PM EST
You dare hate the allpowerful Sierra Mist?!?
Oh and btw all this crap is AWESOME!
Chestnuts roasted by baka777 @ 07/16/2004 03:54 PM EST
I've tried looking all over the internet for some funny anti-shrek
pictures,but I can't find any.
I even went so far as looking up "shrek hentai" (the thought of shrek fucking donkey up the ass seems hilarious to me) Just imagine the dialouge: Shrek:Ah ya like that don ya ya lil betch! Donkey: Shrek man,yo shit green ugly ass mutha fucka!!
...........ahem-anyway;does anybody out there know of any funny anti-shrek pics/parodies??
Chestnuts roasted by TacoMask @ 10/25/2004 02:27 AM EST
