09/02/2004 Entry: "Spider-Man 2 Wacky Wall Crawlers!"

You know, I've been waiting for a toy to emerge from all the Spider-Man 2 huzzabub to rival the Hulk's Hulk Hands, and I think this is it. The giant action figure is great and the smaller figure featuring a bike-riding Peter Parker with a pizza box missile launcher is cool, but nothing's really jumped out at me as an immediate buy quite like those giant green foam hands that talked. The Spider-Man "Wacky Wall Crawlers" may be small, but they've got it where it counts: they're cheap.

Found at our not-so-local Target, (which where, I swear to God, they'd hired someone to hop around the store in a giant kangaroo costume and greet customers) they're ultimately just rip-offs of the infamous Wacky Wall Walker octopi, but the Marvelized versions work a hundred times better and you don't even have to trek through a giant box of Crispix to get one. Two bucks is all it takes, baby.

The Spidey Crawlers are sold individually in packages that seem a bit too extravagant for five-cent sticky throwers. Not that they aren't cool, mind you. Oh...they're cool. You get to choose between blue and red; the more obvious red and blue swirl variety hasn't been released yet, but I'm sure big sales will guarantee it. So get buyin. It's pretty brilliant psychology on Toy Biz's part: by only selling Spider-Man crawlers each with only half of his trademark colors, we're lulled into thinking we actually want to buy two of them, when subconsciously we're just incapable of taking home something "Spider-Man Red" and nothing "Spider-Man Blue." And vice versa. Don't tell me that's not it, either -- why else would they forgo selling a two-pack and making the obvious cross-reference to the film's title? It's all about the Benjamin Parkers.

I'm not sure if I can do this without making the noise, but I look at that picture, and I think... LA, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la LA LO. La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-LA LO.

You know, opera? That thing anyone who sings opera in a Looney Tunes short does? That la-la-la ah forget it.

The figures, dare I call them that, are beautifully crafted. They don't stop at the facial features and chest emblem -- this guy's got grooves of effort right down to the undersides of his lampoonably tiny feet. I know better than to handle them too much -- it ruins their ability to crawl down walls like drunken bugs -- but kids who can't resist will be pleased to learn that the Spider-Man crawler is capable of reaching lengths of over three feet without snapping in half and making the kids cry. Anything above 3'6" is a guaranteed tearjerker. I recommend storing them in Ziploc bags when not in use -- this'll keep their gooey flesh fresh, and it'll give you an excuse to buy the next round of "let's shove a beloved animated character on a Ziploc bag because kids eat sandwiches in school and kids love characters" promotion. I could've said it shorter, but I'm in no rush to see Clair get all up in Rudy's grill over the Money Stealing Purse Incident again.

What's that? Never seen a Wacky Wall Walker/Crawler/Creeper in action before? Man, it's something else. Don't think you know the drill just because you've thrown some other sticky toy at a wall before -- unless it's the real deal, it ain't worth SPIT. The grace with which these Spidey Crawlers dance downward is positively magical -- it never falls off, it never moves too quickly; for brief moments, you'll consider the notion that the toys may in fact be alive. I cannot properly illustrate their abilities with an animated gif, too bad I already made one:

With the debut of the official Spider-Man 2 Spider-Man Wacky Wall Crawler, I can safely say that we as a species have succeeded.

9 outta 10. I only give 10s to movies starring Robert Prosky, sorry.

Dr. Fad aka Ken Hakuta, of WallWalker fame, almost bought FAO Swartz?

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 09/02/2004 01:22 AM EST

I've got nothing to say about something that cheap, but we all know how important staking your claim is when you see a topic has just appeared.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 09/02/2004 01:25 AM EST

Huzzah! Humanity has succeeded! This calls for a party. A Spidey party.

Chestnuts roasted by marioshoku @ 09/02/2004 01:38 AM EST

Hey Matt, do you know anything about Mad Ball themed/type toys that debuted in the later part of the 80's? They could squirt water and there were monsters and a shark and others. Do any of you know what I'm talking about? It's driving me crazy, I haven't heard or seen anything about them since I like four years old.

Chestnuts roasted by Psuedo Bohemian @ 09/02/2004 01:47 AM EST

uh.....weebles wobble but they don't fall down. Wacky wallwalkers were great until they got covered in crap. Then they became....well, crap. Its great that anything can be popular in cycles. I always had a theory thats what would happen to video games. I surely thought by now we would've had another video game crash which would have brought back old school games. Well I guess I was half right because old skool games are back but the new ones still are. Whatever happened to the fun in games? Its all graphics and fancy bullshit. True there are those few exceptions out there but I get more enjoyment outta my super nes and my nes than 90% of whats out there for the new systems. Yeah I know I sound like a cranky old man but I long for the glory of getting the high score instead of beating a game.

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 09/02/2004 02:09 AM EST

Man, gotta love sticky spidey wall-crawlers. Only just today, for today is my birthday, I got the 18" poseable Spiderman that stars in the Crayon review featurette.

I never thought I would again ask for an action figure for my birthday, let alone my 17th, because lately I have seen a decline in the toy industry lately. But I love the thing, it's alot of fun

I might have to go check out these wall-crawlers... for only 2 bucks, it's a steal.

Chestnuts roasted by Aaron T @ 09/02/2004 03:35 AM EST

thanks matt

Chestnuts roasted by Robert Prosky @ 09/02/2004 06:12 AM EST

I hear ya phunq - I still love my Nintento 64. Right now I'm working my way thru Quake II. Don't even get me starting on Mario Cart.

Chestnuts roasted by Joe in OH @ 09/02/2004 06:33 AM EST

Agree with somewhat of what you say phunq. Playing the Retro games is something fun to do once in a while. But very quickly lose intrest. And the video game crash iwas related to Arcades not games in Genral. Arcades are a thing of the past especially with on-line gaming. Sad but true.

Chestnuts roasted by Rowan Steele @ 09/02/2004 07:53 AM EST

It stinks!

All toy and no delicious candy-- I mean cereal.

Chestnuts roasted by hgfhf @ 09/02/2004 08:08 AM EST

MATT!!! DUDE I TOTALLY FOUND SOMETHING YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN!!!

I Bought "Totally not Kane" at K-Mart today... He even came with some bubble gum... I bought a friend of Kanes too... Seems Bootleg Wrestlers like to use Chris Benoits Likeness... Or his Tights anyway...

For anyone who wants more info on the subject...

http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0692/

Chestnuts roasted by Spong @ 09/02/2004 09:08 AM EST

::wipes away a tear, while US national anthem plays humorously in background::

This is where I complain, yet again, that South Africa just don't get all the cool crap. So not fair. Reason people emigrate to USA is not to a)get on Duh-byas good side, b)find wonderful future in fruit-picking and domestic service industries c)to secretly kill Jeff Probst because he's such an idiotic arsehole, but in reality, to acquire all the crap! With ipods!!!!

Yes Matt, dadada da DAH! opera is familiar. Goes with "be vewy qwiet, I'm hunting wabbits" wagnerian cartoon where Bugs and Elmer dress as Fat Opera Women in Winged Helmets, and do silly ballet. Favourite eva!

Sorry no halloween stuff; we don't go in for Halloween here, unless youre a satanist with an eye for dancing naked round fires at midnight etc. (why no-one takes wiccans seriously). But would send you anything, and I mean anything as in naked-pics-of-rabid-chihauhau, in order to get hands on all 130 thundercats eps. Would even send touristy woodcarvings from beachfront that only stupid rich tourists buy (they're from Malawi or Kenya, mostly. The carvings, not the tourists). Guess what our English friends gave us as a present for letting em stay with us... cheesy wooden saled servers carved like spastic zebras. No wonder the Masai are coining it....

::*sigh*:: have urge to travel to US and buy cheezy plastic crap! This is very similar to cheezy african crap, except doesn't directly involve destruction of central African hardwood indigenous forests. The grace with which they crawl down walls stickily... so not fair!! Matt should be hired as ultimate toy salesman. I think I wanna buy six.

Chestnuts roasted by Secret Back Passage of The Spotless Mind @ 09/02/2004 10:22 AM EST

To Secret Back Passage:
That's why there's EBAY! They'll ship stuff like this anywhere!

Matt, did you ever see those old NOVA shows on PBS where they would have the frogs mating with eachother in super zoomed-in, super slow motion? Your GIF kinda reminded me of that!

Otherwise, I am here at college, just noticing the attractive women, and wondering how many would be impressed if I were to whip out a spidey myself and slap it against the wall, and let it crawl downwards very, very slowly. And by Spidey, I really do mean the Wacky Wall Crawler you discussed in your article... y'all are gross!

Chestnuts roasted by Barry J. Deeper @ 09/02/2004 10:45 AM EST

I wonder how Matt would respond if he saw the safety in chemistry lab video I saw in organic chemistry lab. Anyway, the spiderman wacky wall crawlers does look like he sing, but curses, no Doc Ock wacky wall crawlers.

Chestnuts roasted by Beta-Theta @ 09/02/2004 11:22 AM EST

The loonly tunes short that you was taking in you entry (I be) was "That Opera Doc."

Chestnuts roasted by Beta-Theta @ 09/02/2004 11:26 AM EST

When your WallWalker gets cruddy, just wash it with really warm water and reg'lar hand soap. Good as new! To those in other countries what have no Hallowe'en, I say: Neener-neener!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 09/02/2004 11:34 AM EST

Anytime I see a good sticky toy, I'm reminded of the best one I ever had: The Icky Poo.

Made by Klutz, the Icky Poo was like one of those little grabby hands you'd get from a quarter vending machine, but a million times better. It was a foot long and could extend to 12 feet when WHAPPED at something. Best of all, its stickiness was a physical property of the material, not some goo it was coated in. So if it got dirty, you just washed it off, and it was as sticky as ever.

I paid about 10 bucks for the thing as a nostalgia trip back in high school (10 years ago? whoa.) and it was worth every penny. See it as a collectible on Amazon by clicking my name.

Chestnuts roasted by Shelby @ 09/02/2004 12:36 PM EST

MAKES PERFECT SENSE!!!!
why did we not think of this before?

Chestnuts roasted by casinoskunk @ 09/02/2004 01:25 PM EST

I bought one of these from universal studios 5 or 6 years ago. I think they just repackaged them for promotional use. I could never bring myself to open the packaging though...too scared of ruining perfection.

Chestnuts roasted by jerome @ 09/02/2004 01:29 PM EST

That toy looks to be 10 times more fun than that snoozer of a movie. Sorry people, I just didn't like it.

Chestnuts roasted by 4thDown @ 09/02/2004 02:26 PM EST

Matt, I got an idea for halloween! WHy not do a biography of Ed Gein, the guy who inspired Leatherface, Norman Bates, and Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs. Maybe you could do one of your reviews of dumb horror movies . By the way, you should definately do a Top 10 of the Grossest toys of all time for The Halloween List. Just inclued Gooey Louie. He's cool. Or Maybe you could judst POST THE GODDAMNED SUPER-NATURALS ARTICLE. WE'VE BEEN WAITIG FOR A STINKING YEAR ALREADY!!

Chestnuts roasted by TOM @ 09/02/2004 04:06 PM EST

Rowan Steele:

Actually, the Video game crash was a result of HOME console manufacturers putting out terrible games (ET is the usual example, but Pac-Man for 2600 is also a good one) in HUGE quantities. Atari made more ET cartridges than there were Atari 2600s.

While the Home console crash certainly had it's effect on Arcades, The arcades games continued to be produced...

Yes, the Arcade market today may have been hurt, but it is still around...It's just evolving into mega-entertainment stores, like Dave and Busters...

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 09/02/2004 05:33 PM EST

Yeah, Ed Gein. I'm a twisted person and have read his biography. I actually did a report on him for school. As far as the Spidey toys go, I'm positive I bought that for a friend on his birthday and we all had a lot of fun playing with it. It's highly entertaining. And somebody else mentioned Weeble Wobbles. I LOVE those things. At a really crappy art festival I found a gigantic one in this junk pile. Long story short, his picture appeared later in one of those faux souvenir newspapers.

Chestnuts roasted by 1drland @ 09/02/2004 05:39 PM EST

There's also Doc Ock wall crawlers out there. It's true. I saw them at Target.

Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 09/02/2004 09:18 PM EST

Extravagent packaging for vending machine level toys makes Baby Jesus cry...

Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98/competent soldier @ 09/02/2004 09:32 PM EST

I had Icky Poo too! I also thought of it after reading this article because Matt mentioned keeping the spidey toy in a ziploc bag, which is what I did with the Icky Poo. It was fun stuff, it was very thick and stretchy, you could really swing it around. Also the book had about a million games you could play with it.

Chestnuts roasted by freeinabox @ 09/02/2004 09:56 PM EST

If I could only marry that spidy. Alas, I am here in the clouds, watching from up above. Hmm.... Marry I'll transform into a human and marry Matt instead...

Chestnuts roasted by Sexy Goddess @ 09/02/2004 10:08 PM EST

Those are awesome. I'm suprised I didn't see them at Toys'R'us yesterday when I was in there. By the way thanks for suggesting to check out there sale. I got a MP3 player for $50 and Perfect Dark for the N64 for $5.

Sorry to be totally off subject, but I've been searching the web for the past hour on and old tv show and I cant find out anything about it. In the 90's I swear I remember a show loosely based on the smokey and the bandit movies with a guy driving around in a 90's trans am wearing a cowboy hat. He helped people out and ran from the law kind of like the Duke Boy's too. I thought the name of the show was "The Bandit" but I can't find anything about it anywhere. Does anyone here remember it, or am I crazy? Maybe the mysterious websurfing guru ME could help me out?

Anyway, I also wanted to say congrats on the new job Matt, and keep up the great work on this site.

Chestnuts roasted by Beerstalker @ 09/02/2004 10:18 PM EST

My brother shown me omething really distrubing on the internet:"The Animated (yes animated) Passion of the Christ." If you don't beleive me you can check out www.cartoonbrew.com to see a short article about this video or you buy at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0002JP20C/ref%3Dnosim/cartoonresearch/TARGET%3D/102-2086741-9453728
According to www.cartoonbrew.com, there is singing in this film.

Chestnuts roasted by Beta-Theta @ 09/02/2004 10:29 PM EST

This article makes me wanna buy one... I don't know why, because I was never really one for the sticky wall-crawlers thingies... Matt apparently has a way of making things seem more appealing. Unfortunately I don't think we sell them at the TRU I work at. Coulda got em for $1.80-ish. *sigh* Oh well, maybe on the next Target trip.

PS - sometimes when I try to post here it says I'm "forbidden" and won't let me ... and it's from some "Graymatter team" or something?? What's up with that?? :\

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 09/03/2004 01:13 AM EST

Well I hope at least some of us "old school gamers" got my message. If there is no fun, why play at all?? Replay-value is a huge factor determining what makes a good game and a gawdawful piece of shite!! two examples would be soul cal 1 or 2 plus mario kart (pick your version). Plus don't forget your early tony hawk games...shit, i'd rather sit on my ass playing endless levels of pac-man or galaga than play anything basic for x-box or ps2 or GC. I'l never forget my endless nights playing Midnite Magic for 2600 just to get MAD points and enjoying the shit out of it!!!! Rock on old school gamers, rock on...

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 09/03/2004 01:39 AM EST

I GOTTA get me one of them Spideys!

Anyway, Matt, if you're looking for a bad Horror Movie to review for Halloween, look no further than the comedy-horror-musical "NUDIST COLONY OF THE DEAD"!!!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102564/
It's actually a musical about naked zombies! I saw it at a sleep-over once, and It was hilarious!
You can get it at Amazon.

Also, any kind of 80s vampire-movie review would be quite good, as would "Monster Squad" (if you haven't already done that one).
Also,A salute to the "treat packets" instead of singular candies would make a great "Halloween Culture" article.

Chestnuts roasted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 09/03/2004 02:34 AM EST

I wuz also banned by that Greymatter skunk! Why??? Bastards. When I find em I'll get medieval on their collective arse... (you know... three field system, dancing around maypoles, tournament recreations... haha, pratchett joke from The Truth.)

Animated Passion of the Christ? Good grief, what will them protestant-eating weirdos think of next? Oh well, short of Armadas these days I suppose. I must be one of the few Christians who didn't go see it cos of the fact it was stupid. Mmmm, preferred Matthew, much less x-rated.

Perhaps something like the SouthPark version? Really antisemitic shit?

Chestnuts roasted by eminentfreak @ 09/03/2004 07:40 AM EST

Me:

FAO Schwartz filed for bankruptcy a year ago and Dr. Fad considered purchasing FAO Schwartz a year ago when the Company filed. Jeez man, they LIQUIDATED THE COMPANY. THERE IS FAO SCHWARTZ TO BUY ANYMORE!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Pedro @ 09/03/2004 10:57 AM EST

Does that spidey wall walker reek? I distinctly recall all of my octupi wall walkers having a funky smell out of the box that never really went away. Don't let it touch the ground. Do not let it touch the ground!

Chestnuts roasted by Blah...blah @ 09/03/2004 01:09 PM EST

Indeed they were quite stanky.

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 09/03/2004 07:03 PM EST

Hmmm...I'd probably like somethin like this, but I doubt I could find 'em. Oh well. I guess I'll just have to settle for the 25-50 cent slimy vending machine prizes.

Oh, by the way, I guess I should announce my up and coming site. It'll be a site similar to that of X-E in the fact that it'll discuss obscurities, but I'll be using original ideas and writing on some things that Matt hasn't written about. The name is TBA, but it'll be up within the 1-2 months, and I'll be sure to post all the information once it's up.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 09/03/2004 07:40 PM EST

correction:

Insert next between "the" and "1-2"

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 09/03/2004 07:41 PM EST

correction:

Insert "next" between "the" and "1-2"

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 09/03/2004 07:41 PM EST

*looks around all cautious-like*

I know "Mars" had a post, replying about the Greymatter thing I posted, but ... it's suddenly gone? O.O I won't ask... I feel as though "they" are watching. And I guess I'll just post whenever "they" feel like letting me post. Heh!

I went to Target tonight - I couldn't find ANY wall crawler Spidey's. I was dissapointed.

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 09/03/2004 08:19 PM EST

Click my name for Video game novels published by Scholastic. You can read the entire Castlevania text.

Chestnuts roasted by AHoward @ 09/03/2004 08:43 PM EST

I wonder when Matt going to update next since I had hard week with balancing my classes. Halloween is just around the corner, and I heard Matt looking for some idea for this year Halloween. Well, here some ideas that may or may not work with Matt: 1. Doing an article or a blog entry on the different custumes display in the Disney's Store (or online now), especially the prinscess's costume, 2. Reviewing a live-action Disney movie (name cannot recall and yes I'm into Disney somewhat) about these three Salem witches chasing after three kids, who happen to take their spellbook that contain a spell to drain the life energy off of children to give the witches immoriality, 3. X-entertainment review of candies given out on halloween, 4. Ghostbuster, and 5. hmmm. I don't know may be the Spongebob Halloween epsiode.

Chestnuts roasted by Beta-Theta @ 09/03/2004 09:53 PM EST

Beta-Theta:

The movie you are thinking of is "Hocus Pocus:"

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107120/

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 09/03/2004 11:48 PM EST

AHoward, I would totally read Simon's Quest again, if I thought for a second it wouldn't ruin my very happy memory of it. But it would. 14 years and post-formal operations have a way of doing that to favorite childhood things. However, I should note that it is one of my top 5 fav books of all time. I'm not a very prolific reader, but apparently neither is Matt. Thanks for the new, much more consoling page header!! Further Reading: Maximum Green Day by Jon Ewing, Henderson the Rain King by Saul Bellow (see I read a little =)

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 09/04/2004 12:53 AM EST

"Texas!"

Chestnuts roasted by dfgdg @ 09/04/2004 10:15 AM EST

AHoward, I jut visited the front page of your site and can't understand a damn thing.

Chestnuts roasted by Shelby @ 09/04/2004 01:46 PM EST

Spider-Man, Spider-Man,
does whatever a WallWalker can.
Clings to walls, really quick.
Has a smell that makes you sick.
Flip-flop, red and blue Spider-Mans.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 09/04/2004 02:25 PM EST

Matt you NEED NEED NEED NEED NEED NEED NEED NEED to get this movie and do a reviw of it for halloween-

JESUS CHRIST VAMPIRE HUNTER!!!!
http://www.badmovies.org/movies/jesusvamp/index.html

It just screams X-E material!

You can get the DVD here-
http://www.odessafilmworks.com/dvd/dvd.html

Chestnuts roasted by Mr Mango @ 09/04/2004 08:02 PM EST

Okay, I think we started to shift topic from "Spiderman Wacky Wall Crawlers" to Christ. I think we needs something to talk about.

Chestnuts roasted by Beta-Theta @ 09/04/2004 10:24 PM EST

Actually I don't have anything to do with that site, sorry if my post sounded that way. I really don't think I'd have the dedication to type out the entire text of Simon's Quest and Wizards & Warriors.

Chestnuts roasted by AHoward @ 09/04/2004 11:58 PM EST

its also in green, and the back of the package it has doc ock's name spelled docock

Chestnuts roasted by EvilAsh @ 09/05/2004 02:05 AM EST

read the wrong way that could be interpreted as something very obscene. ;P

Chestnuts roasted by Randy @ 09/05/2004 07:50 PM EST

btw Matt the opera song you're thinking about wouldn't happen to be Largo al Factotum? It was in that cartoon "Long Haired Hare" with Bugs Bunny vs the opera singer.

"Figaro! Figaro! FIGARO!!"

Chestnuts roasted by Luap @ 09/06/2004 12:46 AM EST

The Hulk Hands wear us, not the other way around.

http://www.dimspace.com/gallery/HulkHands/DSC02663?full=1

Chestnuts roasted by Rollo Tomasi @ 09/06/2004 10:01 PM EST

They had these out a few years ago too. The funniest thing was, on the package you could see where it originally said "non-toxic", but then someone at the factory drew a black line over it with a Sharpie. Don't eat spidey, Matt!

Chestnuts roasted by Jenn @ 09/07/2004 05:59 PM EST

Heh. Non-toxic Spider Man. Awesome.

Chestnuts roasted by o/K @ 09/07/2004 11:09 PM EST

If you think the spiderman ones are great by the details, go buy the doc ock one.
Its green but it looks really good with the tentacles and all.
Dont know how it performs though.

Chestnuts roasted by ?$?$?$?$?$ @ 09/15/2004 06:46 PM EST

If you think the spiderman ones are great by the details, go buy the doc ock one.
Its green but it looks really good with the tentacles and all.
Dont know how it performs though.

Chestnuts roasted by ?$?$?$?$?$ @ 09/15/2004 06:47 PM EST

I HAVE.

SOME.

HAMSTER! Wall crawl! Look! Hamster...wall crawl...

thud.

Chestnuts roasted by IAW @ 09/17/2004 08:30 PM EST

i want one of these :,(

Chestnuts roasted by Alexander Kaiser @ 10/13/2004 08:29 AM EST