10/14/2004 Entry: "Kellogg's Monster Fruit Snacks."

Kellogg's finally listened to YOU and rushed production on the brand new Monster Fruit Snacks, featuring Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster and the two other big guns that nobody really cares about. The deaths-in-film survey down below is pretty rockin, keep it going.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 10/14/2004 11:00 PM EST

Well, except these. These never get old.

http://www.parnasas.com/PopArena/Articles/potato/1newgraphics/new/tfood8.jpg

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 10/14/2004 11:01 PM EST

I'm sad. I was never really into fruit snacks. Maybe I should start... And Matt? Can't we please have a new survey? Naturally, something Halloween-related...

Chestnuts roasted by 1drland @ 10/14/2004 11:07 PM EST

6th! Personal best! Woot! I have nothing else to say!

Chestnuts roasted by DocDragon @ 10/14/2004 11:10 PM EST

Okay, I give in, I suppose I'll add to the favorite death scenes list. In the movie Blood Dolls, a man is killed by his sado-masochistic wife in a very...naughty...contraption constructed of a large frame and a web of constricting wires. This movie is an absolute must-see for anyone who enjoys watching deadly dolls ...and midgets.

Chestnuts roasted by 1drland @ 10/14/2004 11:19 PM EST

I LOVE fruit snacks.

Hey Matt, have you ever thought about putting your articles together and publishing them in a book? I think it would be a big hit.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 10/14/2004 11:30 PM EST

My fave fruit snack from back in the day was something called Tootie Fruit. The fruit snack "log" featured two flavors at once. It had a more firm outer shell and a really soft middle of a different flavor. I don't know if anyone remembers these but they were around in the mid to late 80's possibly early 90's. I can't find anything on the on the web. Hopefully no one thinks i'm just crazy.

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 10/14/2004 11:47 PM EST

Oh yeah I forgot to mention the Farley Fruit Snacks rock too. They are even softer than gummi bears and taste better. yummmmmm......

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 10/14/2004 11:49 PM EST

Is there anything closer on our planet to the nectar of the Gods, I ask you, is there anything closer than the venerated fruit snack?

They're delicious. They're (usually) good for you (but not Gushers... if fruit snacks were drugs, Gushers are crack-stay away!). They come in individual packages (that's a definite plus... I hate to admit this, but I can remember several times I've just decided not to eat when I have dozens of cans of canned food in my dorm room).

But you know what? Life has a way of teasing you into happiness, into hope, into trust, and then pulling the goddamn rug out from under you at JUST the right speed so you make exactly half a revolution in the air before falling on your damn head. I'll probably find out tomorrow that fruit snacks cause cancer.

People tell me I borrow trouble. I mean really, what does THAT mean?

Chestnuts roasted by Night_Trekker @ 10/15/2004 12:20 AM EST

Matt, you're the motherfuckin' Adonis of comedy. I just took time out from outlining French Industrial Revolution (in French) and your cookie article (complete with my all-time favorite Gary Coleman's safety video) really justified my boring night.

Are you single?

...j/k

kinda

Chestnuts roasted by SovietRocket @ 10/15/2004 01:18 AM EST

I like the idea of an X-Entertainment book...

Chestnuts roasted by Nephets @ 10/15/2004 02:36 AM EST

Mmm. I expected more comments by now. Those snacks look good. I'll have to keep an eye out.

Chestnuts roasted by Komichi @ 10/15/2004 06:58 AM EST

Did anybody mention Gogo's death from Kill Bill. Cause it's pretty rockin'.

Chestnuts roasted by D @ 10/15/2004 07:39 AM EST

So...Gushers are still around then? Because I definitely remember eating a LOT of those as a kid...as I watched AAH! Real Monsters! Those were the days.

Chestnuts roasted by 1drland @ 10/15/2004 08:30 AM EST

you can get boo-berry cereal off of general mills website. boo-berry is much better than fruit snacks. who wants fruti snacks anyways? I want fliet, shrimp and lobster for a snack and spongebob ice cream with hot caramel on it for dinner. The two presidential candidates are jokers - please vote Mr. T for president!!

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. T @ 10/15/2004 08:36 AM EST

I'm particularly impressed by the detail on each fruit snack. You have to admire the fact that you won't have to consult the key on the box to figure out what it looks like it was most trying to be.
On a personal note, I still mourn the loss of what I feel was the holy trinity of fruit snacks: Fruit Roll-Ups, Fruit Bars, and Fruit Wrinkles. Though the roll-ups are still around, they're only a shadow of their former selves. They come in, what, two flavors now? Pitiful...

Chestnuts roasted by Lori @ 10/15/2004 08:39 AM EST

My favorite fruit snacks have to be Gushers, just because they are SO not made of natural juices, but rather that liquid candy you can find on the counter rack at Rite Aid.
They're like candy disguised as good food. The parent gets their child Gushers and wonders why later the kid is flying off the walls.

Chestnuts roasted by AngeFaitore @ 10/15/2004 08:48 AM EST

Anyone mentioned Old Yeller yet? Killed me as a kid when the kid had to shoot his own dog. Animal deaths are like that in movies, especially dogs for some reason. Even Turner and Hooch will give me a little lump in my throat.

Chestnuts roasted by jhnnywalkr @ 10/15/2004 09:37 AM EST

Tell the theme song to Mr. Belvedere to stop singing in my HEAD!!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by dfgdfdfg @ 10/15/2004 10:17 AM EST

One of the most creative deaths I've seen is at the beginning of the sci-fi movie Cube where someone is basically diced into the shape of ice cubes by a laser grid. Not very gory but good.

Why do people respond to surveys more than the actual articles? I guess we're survey-crazy.

I would include either of DVD or CD-ROM with the X-entertainment book with the commercials, movie clips, tv clips, and music videos. I got the Greatest Tv moments book with a DVD and CD and it's awesome. Same goes for the wrestlemania book released a few years ago.

The only problem I see is that wouldn't Matt have to get permission to publish with the photos needed? Or are they public domain since it's a sorta satire ala Mad magazine.

Speaking of Halloween and Nickelodion, does anyone remember the contest they used to do called "Nick-or-Treat?" They would call you and you were supposed to say that to win prizes and play a matching-type game. There was also the Tv show "Are you Afraid of the Dark." that was pretty good.

Remember when R.L Stine was mega popular-in the eaarly to mid 90's with Goosebumps and later Fear Street? There were even tv shows on them. I liked those things.

I guess I'm chatty today.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 10/15/2004 11:06 AM EST

They have brought back Nick or Treat! You go to the Nick WebSite, sign up, and wait by your phone. Like in the days of yore, you answer each call with "Nick or Treat!" to win. Woo-hoo! Another icon of the holidays comes shambling back from the dead! Blorgh!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 10/15/2004 11:46 AM EST

Vote for Mr. T!

Mr. T eats steak and eggs!

Best death scene in movie -- ms Daisy in driving ms Daisy -- boy was I glad the movie was comin to an end

Chestnuts roasted by mr. T @ 10/15/2004 01:31 PM EST

I have to say when a tongue is used as the murder weapon, I get turned on. Species was excellent in this regard. I have never been able to bust through the back of a chick's head with my tongue, no matter how hard I try.

Chestnuts roasted by El Bang @ 10/15/2004 02:32 PM EST

I doubt anyone has seen this movie, but the death of the catfish in the beginning of Children on Their Birthdays was pretty cool. S few older boys are fishing and one of them catches a catfish. To pick on a couple of younger boys, they tell them that the only way they can go by is to eat the catfish face. One of the younger kids (they're about 12, while the older boys are about 15) wraps two hands around the fishy's neck, opens his mouth and takes a huge bite of catfish lips. Woohoo! "Fish heads, fish heads, roly poly fish heads. Fish heads, fish heads, eat them up, yum!"

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 10/15/2004 02:39 PM EST

I'd have to say one of the most disappointing death scenes was Darth Maul in The Phantom Menace. I thought the fight should've lasted longer after those laser barriers disappeared and I'm sorry Industrial Light and Magic, but if you are supposedly masters of special effects you did a shitty job of depicting his split body falling down that shaft. PLus the cheesey expression on Darth Maul face didn't help either.

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 10/15/2004 03:03 PM EST

Oh yeah I almost forgot....I always liked Sunkist Fun Fruits as a child but for some reason it always seemed like the lemon pieces were always hard as rocks!!!! Does anyone else remember this???

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 10/15/2004 03:06 PM EST

MONSTER FRUIT!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 10/15/2004 03:19 PM EST

Remember Brach's Rocks? They were really good. Heavily advertised in Ren and Stimpy comics, too.

Chestnuts roasted by Treecko Peeko @ 10/15/2004 03:46 PM EST

no one going to vot for Mr. T?
cmon, these other clowns are jokers!

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. T @ 10/15/2004 04:27 PM EST

Here's a death scene for you. How bout when the guy from Henry the Red's army was captured and thrown into that pit in Army of Darkness? A huge friggin wave of blood spurted out, and yet when Ash went down, he just ruined some deadite's shit like it was nothing. What the hell? By the way the first guy died I was expecting some huge sarlacc type creature that spit him back out. As for fruit snacks, how bout the generic kind? I have no idea what the name of these things were, probably just fruit snacks or something, but basically they were little rain drop shaped fruit snacks in either grape, strawberry, or cherry, and seriously, they tasted better than any other kind of fruit snack out there. Did I get made fun of for the generic snack, sure, but they tasted so damn good.

Chestnuts roasted by Tenacious Tate @ 10/15/2004 06:34 PM EST

MMMMMMMMM, Fruit snacks! By the way, I have a question to ask you that's been eating at my mind for quite a while... WHAT THE HELL IS IT WITH THE NAME X-ENTERTAINMENT?! Seriously, everyone i tell about the site has to be told that its not a porn site. And, in my personal opinion, PORN IS FOR SICK PERVY LOOSERS!
Tootles!

Chestnuts roasted by TOM @ 10/15/2004 07:41 PM EST

X-Entertainment DOES sound like a porn site, but the X could mean X-Wing. Like in Star Wars.

Chestnuts roasted by AngeFaitore @ 10/15/2004 07:58 PM EST

Sadly... I've gone to three different places on my quest to obtain some of the Monster fruit snacks. I say sadly... because one, I can't taste the red Dracula! and two, I actually dragged my wife to these various places! How sad is my life?! LOL I went searching for fruit snacks on a Friday night! LOL
...Kill me.

Chestnuts roasted by Croww @ 10/15/2004 09:49 PM EST

I liked that warning in your article about the yellow colored ones. LoL, as if you could read our minds and already know that this was the color that would be the cause of all our distresses. ha.

My question is if the whole bag had the red vampires and there were only 1 yellow guy, then would the yellow guy be the popular one that everyone wants?

It's all physcology <--screw that word. I can't spell it for the life of me. Why don't we spell things pheontically <---gggrrrr Ironic that pheontically isn't spelled pheontically (fonetikaly)

Chestnuts roasted by Novaximus @ 10/15/2004 09:59 PM EST

I was a dork--my family was the only house on the block with an active jar of wheat germ in the fridge and a television turned around to the wall until the annual State of the Union address. I wasn't allowed to have "fruit snacks". Dammit! Therefore, I must admit that these look yummy, although I have no idea what the flavor might be like. I always wanted some, but I was never able to convince anyone to trade their packet of gummy goodness for my vegan carrot cookies.

To further my own (fleeting) reputation of a nerd on this board, I'd like to sincerely commend you, Matt, on your literary prowess:

"...artificial fruit morsels shaped like Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, the Wolfman and the Mummy."

Thank you for not calling him "Frankenstein". Seriously. Thank you. That is all.

/not ugly, buck-toothed, or wearing hemp...just deprived in childhood and smart as hell...I'm that cynical friend of the group of pretty girls you stalk in bars

Chestnuts roasted by Emily @ 10/16/2004 12:30 AM EST

there's nothing wrong with dorks or being one....

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 10/16/2004 02:50 AM EST

saw the fruit snacks at the store today and passed them up. TRhey always get stuck in my teeth too much.

ANd while we are on the subject of yellow things not tasting banana-y, I ate some Runts today(the Wonka fruit shaped ones) I too hate banana, so I throw those yellow ones away.

Well, some Oompa Loompa must have been nodding off on smack, cause I ate two green ones, and they tasted like the fucking banana death plaugue. I could have fucking killed that damn Wonka. Not just one mis-flavored green one, but TWO! Now myh Runt eating for the rest of the season will be tainted by the thought of Zartan-like Runts hiding in my snacksize bag, just waiting for me to feel safe...

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 10/16/2004 04:29 AM EST

I always thought the X in X-Entertainment meant Generation X. Huh.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 10/16/2004 07:51 AM EST

Yeah, I always have to tell people it's not porn, but it doesn't bother me. I usually just call it X-E because I'm too lazy to do otherwise.
And Emily, I think you're cool. I, myself, am a vegetarian. And if you read this website, I don't think anyone here has a problem with your "cool factor."

Chestnuts roasted by 1drland @ 10/16/2004 10:56 AM EST

A couple of good death scenes that come to mind are the scene in Halloween II where Michael Myers grabs that one nurse, and dunks her repeatedly into the overheated hydrotherapy pool, so she comes out with bloody bursting blisters all over her upper body, and the one from Friday the 13th part II, where the guy in the wheelchair takes a machete to the head and falls down an outdoor staircase.

Oh, and let's not forget that part from the orginal Dawn of The Dead, where a shotgun blast made one guy's head explode! Best random death ever!

Chestnuts roasted by Number 5 @ 10/16/2004 12:05 PM EST

Wait... what's wrong with wearing hemp?

Good to know there are other vegans reading X-E, Emily!

Chestnuts roasted by VeganMike @ 10/16/2004 12:39 PM EST

Everyone I tell thinks it's a porn site too.

And where're the updates Matt? Burnt out?

Chestnuts roasted by AbraxasZugzwang @ 10/16/2004 01:32 PM EST

I noticed that "nick or treat" was brought up in other article. Did anyone else notice in those "nick or treat" commercials that the kids said the phrase real fast and sounded like something very offensive?

Chestnuts roasted by kite @ 10/16/2004 02:01 PM EST

Abraxablahblah: Nope, just been a crazy busy week at work. I didn't get home until midnight and had to be in Brooklyn at 8 AM, and this is with a family emergency sprinkled in the mix.

We'll be all caught up by the time the weekend ends, though. And next week's entries are nowhere near as whatevaaa as this week's were.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 10/16/2004 03:46 PM EST

X-Entertainment, X-Factor, X the Unknown, X-Girlfriend, Malcom X, Chemical X, X-Chromasome, X-President, Weapon X, X-orcist, Ham and X, X Marks the Spot, X-ican Hayride, X-Ray, Generation X, Degeneration X, X Me No Questions, and the ever-popular King's X. But, as everyone knows, the X stands for "Quality!"

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 10/16/2004 03:57 PM EST

Don't forget X-Men and Xtina.

Chestnuts roasted by AngeFaitore @ 10/16/2004 08:09 PM EST

My best friend is a vegan. Sometimes. She's in NY now so it's not as tough on her since she has access to lots of vegan food.

I've heard about the many problems she's had trying to get the nutrition she needs through vegan food. Not to long ago I described to her what veganism means to me:

"If life were a gladitorial sport, and you could be armed with the weapon of your choice, I imagine your decision would go something like this:

'We have a nice rapid-fire crossbow here.'

'No.'

'And how about this lovely broadsword?'

'No.'

'Stick with a fucking crack in it?'

'WHERE DO I SIGN?!'"

Nah, I kid, I kid. I'm planning to move to New York after I graduate (to be closer to this same "friend", nonetheless...). I figure since I'm there I'll try out the vegan lifestyle. I'm a carnivore, but it's always bothered me (I usually do a Native American-type thing before I eat meat, thanking the animal for the sacrifice).

Chestnuts roasted by Night_Trekker @ 10/16/2004 11:27 PM EST

I second the forum idea but not at the sacrifice of lack of articles because of the time investment or money.

Matt, you'd do well with merchandizing yourself and your site. I'd at least probably buy a shirt or something provided that the shipping isn't steep.

Chestnuts roasted by Novaximus @ 10/16/2004 11:51 PM EST

http://www.sitchin.com/
It's a really weird website about a scientific theory about aliens being responsible for humanitys development. Anyway, Ellen I feel; your pain. My dads a health nut (an Atkins nut to be specific) so nbo junk food, except at moms. Jueesus christ, he wont even let me play F** play M rated games (Every kid at my school gets to play them but me). EWAHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I hate missing out on that
Halo&Conker-y goodness!

Chestnuts roasted by TOM @ 10/17/2004 12:55 AM EST

Sorry for all the mispellings. I feel like Monkey Man on the rare-extreme.com forums (And beleive me, thats embarassing

Chestnuts roasted by TOM @ 10/17/2004 12:57 AM EST

hey TOM, ya got ADD? Send me your Ritalin if you don't take them, j/k!!

I like in Redneck Zombies where you see the little baby zombie eating a little scrap of flesh. It is just too cute.

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 10/17/2004 02:42 AM EST

The best fruit snacks were Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fruit snacks. I guess they were made by Brachs. They ruled because, unlike the opaque, nasty bullshit they usually try and push on you, these were actual gummies. I found some gummi bears the other day that tasted just like them. Man, those took me back...

Ooh, and Hi-C fruit snacks. Delicious.

Chestnuts roasted by Saf @ 10/17/2004 05:19 AM EST

That's AbraxasZUGblahblah to you!!

Well, I wasn't trying to give you a hard time, just curious is all. Sorry to hear about your family emergency; I hope everything is ok.

Chestnuts roasted by AbraxasZugzwang @ 10/17/2004 11:41 AM EST

Quite frankly, I do have ADD, but that is NOT A REASON TO MOCK ME!!
PS Heres a corrected vversion of my post:
http://www.sitchin.com/
It's a really weird website about a scientific theory about aliens being responsible for humanitys development. Sounds like 2001: A Space Oddesy. Anyway, Ellen I feel; your pain. My dads a health nut (an Atkins nut to be specific) so no junk food, exceptfor on my weekends at my Moms. Jueesus christ, he wont even let me play F** play M rated games (Every kid at my school gets to play them but me). WAHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I hate missing out on that
Halo/ConkerLiveandReloaded-y goodness!
PS. Did you visit the link?

Chestnuts roasted by TOM @ 10/17/2004 03:50 PM EST

man I am not mocking you. You type like a gerbil on a three day meth tweak. I repeat, if you are not going to take your meds, send them to me. I will make sure they have a safe home.

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 10/17/2004 04:55 PM EST

I'm not very amused with your last post. Besides, I do take my meds, but having ADHD does not mean I am an idiot. IM IN FULL DAY G.A.T.E. FOR CRYI'N OUT LOUD!!!

Chestnuts roasted by TOM @ 10/17/2004 08:32 PM EST

ALso, I do take my meds. And I am also unnimpressed at your horrible steryotype of people with ADHD.

Chestnuts roasted by TOM @ 10/17/2004 08:37 PM EST

I've just sat here for several minutes trying to come up with the right words to dispell this unpleasantness, but I'm stumped. Let's just try not to pick on each other, huh?
TOM, it was a bit of a mean joke, but that's all it was, a joke, you know? Some of us around here seem to have something of a snarky/sick sense of humor. Just look at the last entry for proof of that. Anyway, I visited the link and can't say it held my interest, sorry.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 10/17/2004 09:24 PM EST

Where's a Scotsman on a horse when you need him?

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 10/18/2004 12:24 PM EST

I'm not mocking ADD either, but God help me, I'm gonna use "you type like a gerbil on a three day meth tweak" for the rest of my days...

Chestnuts roasted by Calypso @ 10/19/2004 02:13 AM EST

I like bananas myself.

Chestnuts roasted by TB Tabby @ 10/20/2004 02:41 PM EST

I love fruit snacks. Yummy, healthy, and for you weight watchers folks, skinny on Points.
My faves include Sunkist fruit snacks, (though not quite as tasty as the Fun Fruits from the 80s, they're pretty damn close), Capri Sun Fruit Rolls, Fruit Gushers, Fruit Spinners, Fruit Twistables, Fruit By The foot, and Fruit Roll-Ups (though they're different now than when i was a teen in the 80s.
I liked the Tootie Fruits fruit snacks too, back in the day, and the Sunkist Fun Fruits were YUMMY! Those should be reinstated.

Chestnuts roasted by Sparkina @ 10/27/2004 12:13 AM EST